O/t - Antidepressant Question

I have a question about antidepressants and have tried to research myself online and get conflicting answers so I am wondering if anyone has had experience with Celexa or anything like it? What I would really like to know are side effects that people may have experienced. I've read what ones are possible but I would like to know what ones are most common. For obvious reasons, I could care less about sexual side effects. What about weight gain? (That would be enough to send me into deeper depression.)

I really am looking for genuine answers here. Please don't blast me about drinking, etc. I already know. I also know about normal grief reaction depression, etc. I just feel like I need a little help with it. It's getting worse with each day so I want to try to get ahead of it while I am still able to function. My biggest thing is sleeping. I sleep through the night until I have to go to work. (Of course, I'm sure this is due to drinking.) But I only get 4 hours or so a night and then it is time for me to get up for work. It is my naps in the morning. I fall asleep very easily but I wake up every 30 to 45 minutes because of unsettling dreams. I can't take it anymore. My doctor said to try Celexa because it helps with not only depression, but also anxiety.

I had it filled but haven't started taking it yet because I am just not sure. So has anyone taken this or something similar and, if so, would you care to share your experience?

Thank you.
Hi Jodi, I think that you should talk to your Doc about Anti D's. They all work differently for everyone. What works good for one may send another into a tailspin. I myself had success with Paxil, that was a long time ago and as recently as last year I gave it another shot. It does seem to work for me. I stayed on it for 3 or 4 months. Then I started reading and researching about how hard it was to come off and I stopped. I had not one of the side effects that I was reading about.

I think we can get overloaded with opinions and scare ourselves right into or out of a good source of treatment.

If you have a Doc that you trust talk it over with him/her. I think each and every case is different. For me over ten years ago Paxil was a lifesaver. I didn't have the same experience years later but I also didn't give it the same time. I got scared and all that I have learned about my disease stopped me. Their are days when I do feel like I am a good candidate and the I lack serotonin. I just don't want to take pills anymore.

I am not going rag on your for drinking. But I will tell you that alcohol has destroyed so much in my immediate family. No good comes from alcohol abuse. I think it's perhaps the most insidious drug out their. It's legal and readily available. The pain and sorrow it has caused in my most cherished loved ones I wouldn't wish on the Devil himself.

I think that you would benefit from grief counseling or some form of counseling, it helps to open up and talk face to face and I believe it will lead you to other things that will help you.

Sending out some hugs for you today darlin.
Thanks Kee Kee. Well, I did talk to my doctor about it...that's why he prescribed it. I didn't, however, discuss side effects with him. At first he prescribed Lexapro but I didn't want to take something I couldn't pay for after my insurance lapses at the end of February. I think this one is listed on the $4 plan at Walmart.

I'm just trying to do something that will help. I am to the point where I can't find any enjoyment in even the smallest things. I am simply existing and I have to remind myself every morning the reasons I have for even doing that. I can't even read the newspaper. (There used to be a time when I went nuts if I couldn't read my paper with my coffee in the morning.) I can't watch tv. I don't even remember the last time I turned it on. Even music, which used to make me feel so alive, I play it sometimes but I just can't find any enjoyment in it.

I spend so much time in my bedroom the last couple of weeks. The curtains are closed. The tv off. When I do get up and around, I pretty much wander aimlessly. I really do try to force myself to get out whenever possible but it feels like within an hour of being away from home, I want so bad to just get back home.

This is so not like me. I feel myself spiraling downward real fast. And I hate it. I want to be able to have some passion and excitement about life. I don't know what to do.

I guess I will call Hospice and see if I can get in with one of their therapists they told me were available. I haven't done it because I have a feeling when I am face-to-face I will either clam up or I will put a fake smile on my face and tell them that, even though I am having trouble dealing, I'm really doing okay with all things considered. But I'm not. The least I can do is try. It's better than doing nothing.

I'm so f***ing sad I can't stand it anymore.
This is so not like me. I feel myself spiraling downward real fast. And I hate it. I want to be able to have some passion and excitement about life. I don't know what to do.


Yes, you do, Jodi. Pray and ask for the courage and the strength to put the bottle down.

I think I've taken over 12 different anti-depressants in my life and it wasn't until I got clean & sober that I started living life again. Alcohol & anti-depressants don't work together, at all....I did that for too many years....

I hope you hit bottom before it's too late....I truly do and it's not to make you feel bad or less than, I just know there is a solution and I wish it for you and your sons.....

God bless,
Stacey
With all due respect, Stacey, this isn't only about being a drunk. That's been a constant and it hasn't changed in any way in the last several months. While I understand alcoholism has its own repercussions, I know the way I feel is so much bigger than that. Does drinking help the situation? Most definitely not. I don't feel like it is the cause either.

That's why I labeled this thread as Off-Topic. I mean, even though antidepressants are probably over prescribed in our society, does that mean that they can't serve a purpose and never be helpful? If they will help me even a little bit, I'm willing to try if the side effects aren't too negative and severe.

(And, Stacey, my tone in my words is quite mellow, respectful and curious so I hope you don't read it in a negative way. I'm not trying to debate or argue with you! I know how easy people read things in the wrong context and take offense to it. Please don't, okay?)
And my words while written are wrote with compassion, very understanding and non-judgemental....

If they will help me even a little bit, I'm willing to try if the side effects aren't too negative and severe.


I agree but the biggest thing I found out (and I tried dillagently not to) was that the alcohol was the biggest depressant (and I denied and denied that for so many years) and taking all the anti-depressents didn't do anything, nothing so I'd up my dose and still nothing. I had that black hole in my soul that just kept getting bigger, the anxiety worse and the fear overwhelming.......

I tried everything Jodi except to face all my fears head on and when I finally did that, things got better.

It isn't easy, Jodi but it's doable and I want you to keep that faith that you can do it too.....

xoxo
Stacey
Oh honey you brought tears to my eyes. You have to realize that what you are going through is grief, coupled with the nasty side effects of trying to paralyze the agony with booze and maybe pills. That is wreaking havoc on your brain.

I have a real strong feeling that once you reach out for some face to face support things will begin to clear. Please....yes...contact the hospice, reach out Jodi I am begging you. It won't be easy....but on second thought....maybe it will, perhaps this is exactly what you need.

You have to take care of you and then the rest will fall into place. Grief is a terrible emotion but it is real and their are several stages that you NEED to go through. Their are trained people that go into this field because they do care and they desperately want to help you sort through all your feelings.

It's time to reach out and get the help you deserve. It all starts with that. I just know it. Grief is powerful emotion and coupled with addiction and cross addiction can go no where very fast. It pains me that you are isolating and just putting one foot in front of the next. If I were close I would take you their myself.

No one expects you to just dust yourself off and move forward. You deserve a life Jodi. So do your boys. They are watching you and looking to see how things are going to pan out. They love you and need you so much.

Do it girl.
QUOTE
Grief is powerful emotion and coupled with addiction and cross addiction can go no where very fast.


And that's exactly where I feel like I'm headed. No where very fast. I have this whole day ahead of me and a ton of stuff I could do. I have the freedom to do whatever I want. Yet it all feels pointless. Everything seems pointless...everything.

This is going to turn tragic real fast at this pace if I don't try something. As far as I'm concerned, I don't care what happens. But I have two reasons to stick around. Adam got upset when he heard me talking about the fact that I need to go to our attorney and get a will drawn up. He got angry. He doesn't even want to think about the possibility of me dying.

So I guess I will start with just what I can do today. I will get my a** off of this bed and make one phone call. If I can do more than that, fine. If not? At least I will set up an appointment that I will be committed to. Because if I don't I know I will be dead before summer. I'm sorry for being so blunt but it's a fact. That's how much I am hurting. I know that sounds extreme but it is what I honestly feel. Maybe you understand, maybe you don't. But it's real. I can try to shame and guilt myself out of feeling that way but it doesn't work. I've been telling myself all along that thousands of other people are going through this same thing and they are doing okay...so I should be too. All that did was delay my true emotions. I'm tired of appearing strong and at peace to those closest to me. I can't keep it up.
Jodi, ADs won't work if you're still drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and it cancels out any good an AD would do. I tried and tried many of them. And like I told you before I couldn't really feel my grief until I got sober. That was when I began to heal, after I could really feel it. January 30th was 9 years he's been gone. I won't ever feel the same way I felt about him but life goes on. We learn to deal with our losses in time. You will be ok. Give yourself a chance.
smooches
Yes, give yourself a chance.

You were struggling with sadness and addiction long before your hubby passed away. It certainly hasn't gotten better, it was just put on the side burner so you could move forward with your responsibilities as a wife and a mom. You had to lay your dear husband to rest, you have and he would want you to get better.

You must make that appointment and give yourself the opportunity to get better. You must move forward with the appointment, and you are right it is at least an appointment. A commitment to at least go. What is the worst that can happen? Get real honest with that counselor and leave nothing out, you have not one thing to lose and everything to gain.

I am rooting for you girl, we all are. Go and do it now!! You will feel so much better just taking that step.
Hi Jodi - Did you ever give my suggestion of going to the ER and requesting detox any thought? Now is the time if your insurance is running out. Maybe someone can take care of the boys for a few days. I bet everyone would be on your side with this. Think about it. Alice

Hey Jodigirl,I wont rag on you either,you know whats what as far as drinking.Im posting because Ive been a couple different things.From litium to what Im on now which is Effexor and Lamictal.
I just want to say side effects can & are different with each person.
also know (even though it may stink)that some AD take 4-6 weeks or longer to start effecting you.I know you probaly want it to boom just work & huny I cannot blame you.Youve been carrying this sadness & grief for along time now.

I dont know if I have said this before but there are online grief groups that have & are dealing with some of the feelings you are.Might be worth looking into.I know one really helped my sister after our father died.

I dont know what else to say except...time does heal most things,but time also can be so long to take.///...(hope that made sense)
Anyways sweety,I may be up later tonight,you have my email...Never be afraid to write,even if its just babbling.Me & alot of others are here for you to lean on.

Try to hold on huny & TRY....really hard to believe there is life,a good life after the grief
Love you mj
Jodi I have been on so many A/D the lat two? one nearly sent me to my grave and today? I take paxil have no clue if its working. But seem to be doing better? WTF knows--I hate taking all these meds. I am amazed my tests came back and my kidneys and liver is all normal.

I am currently suffering from kidney stones and have to see the urologist. It never ends it seems But? WTF can I do. To top it off I finally found an awesome pulmonologist who I have been working with during my job hiatus and find out she left the practice. PISSED OFF MAN as I was just there weeks ago and aggh f*** it.

Look Jodi please think real hard about mixing alcohol with a A/D. Do not do it.



Have a good evening Jodi--Jeff

Jodi-
quoted by Stacey & Kat...Alcohol & anti-depressants don't work together, at all

Jodi,that is true.If you go to a doctor you will have to be completely honest about how much you drink and what drugs you are taking.There could even be some serious consequences if you don't.And I do mean tell him the truth.

I know you don't want to hear this but it is the truth.Another little detail about AD's is their are lots of side effects and some like Lexapro are hard to w/d from.I'm not preaching to you.You are my friend & familiy,drunk or sober.

Do you have insurance? I would recommend seeing a therapist or even check out any local survivors groups.

Love ya Jodi.Take care of yourself.
Well, I have to do something. I may be a little narrow-minded but I feel like I have only one option. Well I have several options but, in the last 83 days, I am all about doing what makes me feel the most comfortable right now. First of all, I am going to give the antidepressant a try. I have resisted them in the past but I have never felt this hopeless and utterly depressed before in my life. This is not living....what I'm doing now. Even just existing is painful and, while I'm not any danger to myself in the short-term, I find myself trying to "make plans" for the future as to how/when/where I will take my life. That's how bad it feels. I don't want to do that and, frankly, it scares the s*** out of me. I really don't think I could ever go through with it but maybe it just makes me feel better to have a plan for an escape from the pain.

The next thing I am going to do is go to the Hospice support group Thursday night. I think I will do much better in a group setting at first, where I'm not face-to-face with one person. In that setting, I can talk if I want or just choose to sit and listen. Just like an AA meeting. I have a feeling that, once I listen to others, I will feel more comfortable saying how I really feel. After that I will hopefully feel comfortable enough to take advantage of the one-on-one counseling they offer.

And then I'm going to attempt to get out as much as I can...not to run from everything...but to throw myself back into life again. Whether it be going to a meeting, to a friend's house or just to the store. I do feel better when I push myself. I did that today. I got my a** up and started doing things around the house. I got out because my son wanted to go visit a friend for a few hours. I went to the cemetery (which is bordering on obsession...this is my 3rd day in a row out there). I didn't get involved on the other board I belong to because that one just scares the hell out of me. After all, I keep hearing that the pain softens but even 7, 8, 9 years later...it's still there. It never goes away. I will never heal completely. That's just not what I need to hear right now in my state of mind.

I know I will never be the person I was before November 11, 2008. I am forever changed by this. I only hope that the devastation and confusion will become more manageable. It hurts. It really, really hurts. It's indescribable. Being an addict doesn't have to define me. But this other stuff? Losing my future? That does define me and affect me in more ways than I ever thought possible.

I miss him, you guys. Those words don't even begin to describe it. But, my god, I really miss him. I am grieving for him. But I'm also grieving for the future I thought we had. I would do anything to not have to grieve...anything. This is worse than anything I've ever imagined.
Hang in there Jodi. Sounds like a plan. Now follow through and take it one step at a time. I am my worse when I am home alone. What about that AA meeting you went to before? Maybe you could pop in and listen.
I know you do Jodi so get to that group.Also, don't lose sight of the fact you're a young woman.You don't ever know what's going to happen.You're life is not over my God.

You will have to grieve awhile,process it through a therapist but you're an attractive woman some guys going to notice when you get through this.What about all the men that have lost their wife's?

You know how many people get married meeting at AA meetings?Give yourself some time.

I'm not trying to compare your loss with my dog but it is sad.He was in my life 14 years.I raised him from a puppy.

I am serious though about the AD's and alcohol.You're going to have to deal with that.
That is a risk I'm willing to take. I am dead serious when I say that my thoughts are scaring me. Really, really scaring me.

So I take the chance that the combination will accidentally kill me or take the risk of not doing anything and committing suicide.

I am doing the best I can right now. It's not very good but it is what I'm capable of. It could be worse. I could have given up already. If I go out, I'm gonna do it fighting. At least I hope so.