O/t...gina...this Just Happend..lol



I sent out letters to all my clients whom I had planted caladium bulbs for this year.
Here is the letter:

CALADIUMS
How To Get The Best Show



Dear Client

The lone bulbous protrusion coming out of the caladium is the flower.You don't want that to seed.Snip it off when you see it come up.

You will get more leaves from the bulb if you do.

I have fed the caladiums with osmocote but I would recommend an additional feeding around July.

I would use an organic slow release food like blood meal.

Good Luck







Anyway..............I get a call from several clients confused on what they are to snip off.One very proper British lady who is about 58 and single calls me to come over and show her what to cut.Her caladiums were not showing the pod yet and I was having a difficult time explaining to her what it looked like.
I was going round and round trying to describe it.

Finally I just blurted out" Angie,it looks like a little uncircumcised p****" well not little..LOL..........I think she was still on the floor laughing when I left.
When I was driving back home I started thinking that I really wasn't that far off base.That's exactly what it looks like.

I knew you would appreciate this.



QUOTE
I knew you would appreciate this.


ROFL! Yes, my mind is in the gutter, as you well know. I started laughing when I read the phrase "bulbous protrusion."

Tim, Angie knew perfectly well what you were referring to. Single and 58? She just wanted you to make a house call.

Hmmm, I wonder if Whole Foods delivers? LOL

P.S.
QUOTE
I think she was still on the floor laughing when I left.

You know, you've just set yourself up for one of Danny's wisecracks...
Tim,

Why were they confused??? LOL In my experience, never leave anything for the customer to do, do it yourself... and CHARGE them.

Regards,
Tom
Tim, are you sure you are not Lorena Bobbit and just pretending to be a guy on this board?

I read these same instructions on www.cutoffmybulbousprotrusion.com


snipping bulbous portrusions sounds therapeutic...

tim...angie may not be as "proper" as you think...hahahaha, i kind of agree with gina!

hell...i wish we had a whole foods here! i would just live in my car in the parking lot. there is a big ole whole foods in ABQ though, and trader joe's....

oh, the joys of a progressive city! i can't wait.

gina...i am sending pics now.

ciao!
Q -MY CALADIUMS HAVE A SEED POD (BLOOM) ON THEM. WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?
A -When the seed pod appears if you do not like the looks of it you can cut it off at ground level without hurting the bulb. Removing the bloom redirects that energy back into leaf production.


Ah, variety Lorena Bobbitt.


Hey Tom!!!


LMAO! Danny, Sarah. We were posting at the same time. I'm not the only one with my mind in the gutter.

I have to run get the boys. Have fun, folks.

Love,
Gina
Then Tim's Angie needs to drive around for a while then chuck it out the window..

Tim, if she asks you to come over and fertilize her lawn, think twice.
ROFL @ Danny.

OK, now I'm really gone. But I'm still laughing.
Danny:

What if she asks him to plant some seeds in her bed?

Till her soil?

Water her bloom?

OMG, stop me now! hahahaha....sorry Tim, but this is fun! I have so much packing to do, I have to get back up and get going. Thanks for the fun break!

Actually I had planted them for her neighbor too and had sent her a letter as well.They both had the letter outside wondering where the bulbous protusion was?LOL....I told her when Mary gets home please relay this information to her.

That might be worth another trip in town.
I guess I am on a Star Wars kick ....what comes to mind for this thread is....

"'Size matters not! Judge me not by my size....."I

It IS the size of the caladium that I am thinking of..... Gracie
Use visual aids, darling.

user posted image

LOL, Gracie. How are you?

Sarah, I don't have those pictures yet. I can post them on the board, can't I? Everyone wants to see them.
That's exactly what it looks like when it's open.You don't want it to flower though or the plant goes into seed production.
You want to cut it off before it burst,right before it sticks straight up.
user posted image
LMFAO.........priceless!!!!
QUOTE
You want to cut it off before it burst,right before it sticks straight up.

Call 911. Someone's going to have to carry me outta here. OMG, ROFL!

Danny, Can I have that for my sig line?
G- You know I have a million of 'em...
ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hee hee hee hee hee hee

This is hilarious! Tim, you really should write a book called the Erotic Gardener!
I think you could have a best seller on your hands.

Oh, it is good to laugh! You know, laughing, really belly laughing where tears roll down your cheek was something I didn't do when I was using.

Nor, did I dream...or at least, I didn't remember my dreams. Those are two things among many that I really love about being sober.

I love you guys! Ya'll are awesome.

Gina, I am trying again, my photo program kept shutting down. blah, blah, blah.

QUOTE
the Erotic Gardener!


That is the new PBS series starring Tim.

He also will be known as "Tim The Toolman' for obviously different reasons.

cue: bad porn music
OMG!! You all are going to get us an "R" rating....this thread is killing me!!!

Tim....be weary weary careful....soon you will be pruning shrubs that you never intended to prune!!!!

When miss Angie's hubby finds out you been mowing her lawn....you may have find protection!!!

Dirty!

Sarah! Hi girlfriend! Just wanted to tell you how thrilled I am for you. What a great asset you have been here and your story is amazing. I remember it like it was yesterday...seriously I am so proud of you.

Boy can I relate to that "dream" thing. I stopped dreaming! I don't think it was a case of not remembering...I believe I stopped all together....that was so freaky!