O/t Myspace.com

Looking for some feedback on myspace.com. Shantel
i love my page, but i have it on private to where I have to approve each and every person that can view anything ... I think that's how it all should be. i don't want just anyone looking at info about me or pics of my kid.

Why do you ask shantel??

stac
Stac, Issues going on at home right now about myspace with my 15 year old daughter. I have read so many horror stories in the papers about this site. Whats your take on it? Shantel
i think you should have it set on private to where nobody can view her profile.

If i were you i would moderate it. ... the way things are these days i wouldn't take my chances.. 15 is young. I remember thinking i was grown at that age. does she wanna use it just for friends?? i have found over a hundred people from elementary, middle, school, and all other places i have been in my short life..but i never thought i would see these people or talk to them again and now i talk to them every other day. it's nice in that aspect.

good luck
stac
Stac, I know you have a site on myspace from reading here but you are an adult. Do you think the site is apporiate (sp) for a 15 year old? I just went on the website and got sick to my stomach at some of the stuff the website allows to be posted. Another site that was brought to my attention today was facebook.com. Have you heard of that one? Shantel
oh wow - shantel - i'm a bit technochallenged, to say the least, when it comes to creating all those fancy smancy background etc. to myspace. heck - it's difficult for me to understand how to reply to messages posted! yet keep in mind that this is coming from someone who has a difficult time telling what time of day it is! user posted image

i'm on there but my pages are very simple. i don't know how to invite people to join me, but please feel free to do so, if you wish. i'm not sure if my user ID is sammy or dsam2u; however, i'm there, amidst the billion of others who are members.

btw - i was able to view your pic a few days ago posted here. wow - what a beauty! you are just as beautiful outside as you are inside - it's a blessing to me to call you friend.

love ~

sammy
user posted image
i've heard of facebook but never used it.

at 15, unless she lies about her age on the form to register it will make her profile private automatically.
My boss' daughter had one when she was 15, she just turned 16 and her profile and messages are innocent. harmless teenage girl banter. lol

i guess it depends on her. I would get the address to her page so you can visit it every once in a while and see what's going on.

stac
Sammy I already found you and requested to be your friend. LOL. Accept me please my dear Sammy!!!!

Looooove you
stac
you are in like, flint, stacey!

shantell - my gosh - i didn't realize this is where the thread was going. bless your heart. just google myspace and facebook and you will see the suits that have been filed regarding the very topic you are talking about.

while we don't want to deny our children their right of passage, as a parent of a 15 year old, i would be over their shoulder watching what they post and who posts to them. on second thought, i would make it a condition that if they wanted to belong to these sites, it is imperative that you have access whenever you wish. if not, then i am sure you will make the right decision to your child's computer use as far as blocks go.

hugs and much encouragement to you ~

sammy
stacey - would you please turn on your yahoo IM?

samster
Shantell, I am torn about myspace. I think it's ok, but it needs to be seriously monitored. My sons both have pages (16 and 20). I obviously am ok with the 20 year old but I check the 16 year olds page.

The problem is if they don't use it, they are basically "out of the loop" so to speak with their friends. When my son's are here, the first thing they do is jump on the computer and screw around on myspace and then fight about time on the computer, ect, etc..stuff we have all seen and heard.

Kids now days are way more wired and the computer is simply another form contact with their friends. Kids and computers, who would of thunk. I called my little ones the other night to say "hi" and my 4 year old seemed distracted as we talked..I asked her what she was doing..her reply was "I'm on the 'puter"..so that shows you..

Make sure her profile is private, that you have her password and she marks you as one of her "friends"..if you do that, it should be ok..oh..and limit her time.
I am so pissed right now. Shantel
give me a min. sammy. i cleaned out my whole computer and don't have it anymore... lol.
why are you pissed?
My daugher and older son both have MySpaces and are crazy about them. They both tell me it's almost addicting. You know, there's really not much difference between what they could do there and on an IM. Every now and then Kes shows me hers, which is set to private, and it's pretty harmless. On occassion there is some flirting, but nothing worse than that.
Why are you pissed?
xxxxoooo
Thanks everyone and sorry I did not get back on last night to explain why I was so mad. Awhile back when all the horror stories were coming out in the paper about my space I went on the site to look. I was shocked at some of the things I read and I had signed in giving them my age as 16. I told my 2 youngest children my concerns about this site knowing alot of their friends are registered there and then told them I didn't want them to have anything to do with myspace and they understood well at least I thought they did up until last night. I had called my sister last night she is a school teacher in Chicago and for some reason we got on the topic of myspace. She was telling me a couple of teachers had just recently been fired from her school for inapproriate (sp) behavior on myspace.I then asked her how in the world people can post some of the things they do without it being monitored like this site does. She said it is called freedon of speech. I agree with that but why is one site able to delete and remove post and another site lets anything be posted.My sister then goes on to tell me my oldest daughter has a site on myspace. I didn't have a problem with that being she is 23 and married. If that what she choses to do so be it but then my sister tells me my 15 year old daughter has posted on her site and has her picture on it. I went right to the site and there was my 15 year olds pic. I'm upset about that but more upset that when I called my 15 year old daughter to ask her about this she was at a cheerleading competition and she says can we talk about this when I get home. O.K. fine well I go back into my oldest daughters site I find my 15 year olds pic is gone and when I clicked on the deleted photo image it goes to my 15 year olds daughters website saying something like it is a private site. I was livid. Well she finally gets home and all s*** hits the fan. She tells us that she had one of her friends go in and remove her pics and whatever they could from her site. When we asked her why she says because I knew I was not suppose to be on myspace. I am even more pissed at this point. I kinda feel as I have failed at being a mother. Like my husband said to her when did you have the time to go on myspace and when did you do this? We keep our children very active in sports and other activities just so they don't have time to sit in front of the t.v or computer or playstation all the time. I don't think it is healthy. If you have free time pick up a book and read. Don't get me wrong I don't have a problem with them taking an hour out at night to do those things but it seems now a days everything be it t.v. playstation, the computer is all garbage. Back to my daughter my sister says let the punishment fit the crime like take her computer away for a few weeks. I say lock her up until she is 40. I am more hurt than anything because she lied to me. Shantel
Honestly, what would I do Shantell?

Ok, you are pissed and hurt because you feel she disobeyed you. Understandable. Would I restrict her computer use for a couple of weeks? Certainly. Would I have an "honesty" heart to heart with her? You bet. But at the end of the day, she's is going to find a way to use Myspace, either at a friends, school, the libary, where ever. You can't lock her up (until 40 hehe..dont we as parents wish) and not having a Myspace "space" does make her an outcast among her peers..If I was in your place, this is what I would do

1. "ground" her form the computer for a couple of weeks, just to drive home the point.
2. Have that heart to heart and express your concerns
3. Require her password
4. Inform her you are going to monitor your sight.
5. Make your own site, just so you know more about Myspace and how it works, blah blah
6. Have her REMOVE her picture and replace it with an Avatar and no more pictures of her until she is 18
7. Require her profile is set to private
8. Forbid her friends from having her password..they had to of in order to remove pictures and stuff..thats actually worse than her having a page itself..you have a hard enough time contrlling her..you cant control her knucklehead friends in the least.
9. If you see something bad, call her out on it..
10 make sure she knows you are monitoring it..
11. Dont go bat-s*** crazy when some boy she knows mentions seeing her at the local 7-11 and wanting to give her a kiss
12. Go absolutely bat-s*** crazy when someoone you DONT know see's her at the 7-11 and wants to give her a kiss..
13. Monitor montior monitor..just as all normal parents would..

You asked about why people can post anything they want..yes they can..Myspace is basically a collective of MILLIONS of forums, just like the one we are on now, and with no moderators..and it's cross posts to other forums...so..well, you get the idea..

If you forbid her myspace, it does as much harm as good..be mad at her for lying, be mad at her for sneaking around behind your back, take control of the situation and let her know it is YOU who controls it..and if it happens again, put her in a convent..well, not that bad..but let her know under no,,ZERO..NADA..circumstances will it ever happen again..16 year olds need a little "line on the leash" so to speak..as long as you have the "choke collar" on, it should be ok..
good advice danny...........

shantel myspace can be fun....
you and your daughter can post to one another.......

i really dont know what the difference is of posting a picture of yourself and your family on this site or myspace...

at least with myspace you can set your profile to private.....
and here its for the world to see.......
and this is an addiction board.............

me and my brother stay in contact with myspace, text and cell phone...
i even made a page for my mom.........

here is a site for you to share with your daughter...........

its a christian web site and it had all kinds of beautiful glittery pics....

Christian Images and pretty glittery pics to post to friends

i honestly dont see anything wrong with it.....
as long as you have the password and you can see it whenever you want
and since you online , you can check it every day........

it may be a way to express herself and design a layout and express her interest with out posting apicture of herself..........

your daughter is so so beautiful, so i can tell you right now if she post her picture and doesn not make her profile private ..
THERE WILL BE GUYS TRYING TO ADD HER AS FRIENDS.....

just like danny said have her use an AVATAR, cartoon or an art image is her picture ...........

shantel.............JOEL OLSEEN has myspace.......
and so does PAULA WHITE...........CREFO DOLLAR...(spelling) i know

God Bless you...
your a good moma shantel and danny you are a good a father...........

love ya
thumper



Danny, Can I at least use a shock collar on her like I use on my dog? I am so stupid here I trusted her and this is what I receive in return. It's gonna take awhile for her to build that trust back up. Maybe I am taking it to personal. I thought we as parents pretty much monitored everything they did obviously that is not the case. I know I can't shield them from the bad things in life but I can try can't I? Thanks, Shantel
Shan- I learn more about my kids lives through myspace than from what they tell me..girlfriend trobule, etc..haha