WOW....how can a joke thread get so damn serious?
Miss Katbird, again, no hidden motives, no agendas, no innuendo's, I do thank you for the laugh....I could see me and some of my excuses in that.....and I won't share on this board what my shrink did for me.
Big smooches....
But you will tell me in email. I'm waiting.
Sorry, Shane, it's not about you. It's always been about me. The world just never realized that.
smoochies
Sorry, Shane, it's not about you. It's always been about me. The world just never realized that.
smoochies
OK,
When I first read it I kinda thought it was a joke, but I wasn't sure. Now for me the original post I'm laughing at it and at me. It is about me you know, ha ha. You know I'm so unique and special. I'm different even amongst all my special alcoholic/addicts.
I'm so special I have oldies, but goodies playing in my head. I'm starting to hum old Elvis songs like Suspicious Minds, Jail House Rock, Surrender. I think I have a shot at being OK as long as I don't start singing Stuck On You, or revert back to Hard Headed Woman to often.
This post is meant for fun, not a jab at anyone.
When I first read it I kinda thought it was a joke, but I wasn't sure. Now for me the original post I'm laughing at it and at me. It is about me you know, ha ha. You know I'm so unique and special. I'm different even amongst all my special alcoholic/addicts.
I'm so special I have oldies, but goodies playing in my head. I'm starting to hum old Elvis songs like Suspicious Minds, Jail House Rock, Surrender. I think I have a shot at being OK as long as I don't start singing Stuck On You, or revert back to Hard Headed Woman to often.
This post is meant for fun, not a jab at anyone.
When I get that damn "Suspicious Minds" in my head in Elvis's voice it stays all day. Thanks a lot, Chris. LOL
I was thinkin', "Evil Woman," by Electric Light Orchestra...
WAIT! "Witchy Woman," by The Eagles.
Okay, okay, I have their 'Very Best Of,," playing...
WAIT! "Witchy Woman," by The Eagles.
Okay, okay, I have their 'Very Best Of,," playing...
Thank you pirate, and you're right of course. I will continue to post what I think. I am happy to accept Kat's assertion that the original post wasn't aimed at me or at therapy as a route to sobriety and well-being and so apologised. I felt that was the important thing at that point.
There is a more general point raised by Skq's post. Now personally I haven't been under the illusion that anyone else can make me angry or anything else for about the past 20 years....I don't play that game. But at the same time I recognise that we are not completely independent and that I and other people can unconsciously respond to things that trigger our/their issues/games/projections/whatever. We all know that every post is meant to be read by SOMEONE, and it's pretty obvious when we write tham that some people are going to feel that there might be something in it aimed at them, or relevant to them. I mean, we all intend SOMEONE to read them, don't we....the post and its content are there for a reason.....so personally I feel it would be ...constructive.... if people had that in mind when posting. Personally I feel it's an abdication of care and respect for each other if we just write whatever we want without any regard for how that communication might impact others....especially if we know the subject might be sensitive....isn't there something about how alcoholics talk about each other in the BB...? I entirely accept that anyone can make a mistake, and that some of us are more sensitive than others, and that you can't forsee everything. This is not a dig at Kat, I accept what she said and, ok, maybe I was being oversensitive. And I certainly don't believe anyone sould have to walk on eggshells.....I don't have a solution....all I know is that I think we're all more likely to recover in an atmosphere where we feel there is a climate of mutual respect, care and concern and that is reflected in our choice of topics and how we communicate. So I haven't posted my joke about AA in case someone new comes along and/or anyone else is offended. Is that right? Wrong? Feeble? Co-dependent? Thoughtful? I dunno.
Wishing you all well.
There is a more general point raised by Skq's post. Now personally I haven't been under the illusion that anyone else can make me angry or anything else for about the past 20 years....I don't play that game. But at the same time I recognise that we are not completely independent and that I and other people can unconsciously respond to things that trigger our/their issues/games/projections/whatever. We all know that every post is meant to be read by SOMEONE, and it's pretty obvious when we write tham that some people are going to feel that there might be something in it aimed at them, or relevant to them. I mean, we all intend SOMEONE to read them, don't we....the post and its content are there for a reason.....so personally I feel it would be ...constructive.... if people had that in mind when posting. Personally I feel it's an abdication of care and respect for each other if we just write whatever we want without any regard for how that communication might impact others....especially if we know the subject might be sensitive....isn't there something about how alcoholics talk about each other in the BB...? I entirely accept that anyone can make a mistake, and that some of us are more sensitive than others, and that you can't forsee everything. This is not a dig at Kat, I accept what she said and, ok, maybe I was being oversensitive. And I certainly don't believe anyone sould have to walk on eggshells.....I don't have a solution....all I know is that I think we're all more likely to recover in an atmosphere where we feel there is a climate of mutual respect, care and concern and that is reflected in our choice of topics and how we communicate. So I haven't posted my joke about AA in case someone new comes along and/or anyone else is offended. Is that right? Wrong? Feeble? Co-dependent? Thoughtful? I dunno.
Wishing you all well.
The problem with alcoholics is that we all think we're so damned different--even different than other alcoholics! God forbid that I focused on similarities instead of magnifying differences. It was going to be all about me all the time. If I were miserable, everyone else was going to be, too. My sponsor once stole a phrase from David (group member) when I was on my pity pot. He said, "Get off the cross, we need the damned WOOD!" Always the victim, ne'er the victor. I was a neurotic mess. My sponsor also said, "When you're done taking everyone's else's inventory we'll be halfway through Step 4."
We're not so different, all of us "Misfit Toys." The REAL differences begin to reveal themselves when I begin to realize that ACCEPTANCE IS THE KEY. I have no control over people, places, or things, and the sooner I grasped that, the sooner I was able to let it go and get on with MY life instead of everyone elses.
We're not so different, all of us "Misfit Toys." The REAL differences begin to reveal themselves when I begin to realize that ACCEPTANCE IS THE KEY. I have no control over people, places, or things, and the sooner I grasped that, the sooner I was able to let it go and get on with MY life instead of everyone elses.
Ok, Skq, I understand that in principle, but if I walk into a theatre and shout "fire!", don't I have a little bit of responsibility for what happens when others act on my "joke"....?
Let's make it clear I'm talking in general now, not about this thread, ok? I accept Kat's statement completely.
This is an interesting issue for me because (lol) I don't know the answer lol
I'm not trying to be clever or argumentative, I just want to identify those boundary thingies....as I say, I agree with you in principle, but in practice we DO have an influence over others....ok, so MY response is MY concern, and my personal response to the joke is my responsibility...I never really felt it was anything else....but my point is that YOU know that, I might even know it, but some poor bugger over there might not even KNOW that he has been triggered and might react in unfortunate ways? If I'm someone advanced in their recovery (which I'm not), in other words KNOWING that danger and having respect and concern for others, shouldn't "I" frame my communication accordingly?
Isn't it possible that at some level (not talking about this thread remember) we can sometimes throw a verbal handgrenade into the room and walk away shrugging our shoulders and taking no responsibility, perhaps even adding the further twist to the glee by reminding people that THEIR responses to our contribution are solely THEIR responsibility and when THEY get the programme they'll know that....?
Thoughts?
I know you might think I'm over analysing, and maybe I am, but if you think so I'd like to know whether you think it matters that we care about how our message lands or not, and whether we're responsible in any way for taking care of people who might be triggered/vulnerable/oversensitive...and I agree we can't all walk on eggshells.
Thanks in advance.
Let's make it clear I'm talking in general now, not about this thread, ok? I accept Kat's statement completely.
This is an interesting issue for me because (lol) I don't know the answer lol
I'm not trying to be clever or argumentative, I just want to identify those boundary thingies....as I say, I agree with you in principle, but in practice we DO have an influence over others....ok, so MY response is MY concern, and my personal response to the joke is my responsibility...I never really felt it was anything else....but my point is that YOU know that, I might even know it, but some poor bugger over there might not even KNOW that he has been triggered and might react in unfortunate ways? If I'm someone advanced in their recovery (which I'm not), in other words KNOWING that danger and having respect and concern for others, shouldn't "I" frame my communication accordingly?
Isn't it possible that at some level (not talking about this thread remember) we can sometimes throw a verbal handgrenade into the room and walk away shrugging our shoulders and taking no responsibility, perhaps even adding the further twist to the glee by reminding people that THEIR responses to our contribution are solely THEIR responsibility and when THEY get the programme they'll know that....?
Thoughts?
I know you might think I'm over analysing, and maybe I am, but if you think so I'd like to know whether you think it matters that we care about how our message lands or not, and whether we're responsible in any way for taking care of people who might be triggered/vulnerable/oversensitive...and I agree we can't all walk on eggshells.
Thanks in advance.
Kat, apologies, I forgot to answer your question. I am not on medication. I went into counselling (so not strictly speaking therapy, although God knows where the lines are drawn) to help me cope with my ex's alcoholism and the break up and what was going on with the kids .... it was one stream of acceptance and care that, along with Al-anon and open AA meetings, provided enough safety to enable parts of me to feel safe enough to let me know I wasn't exactly perfect after all.....lol...I've posted quite a lot about this over on the families board so no problem with your question.
My GP diagnosed reactive depression last oct and prescribed antidepressants which I did not take. I've spent 45 years running from my feeling and I decided I'd live or die with them.....so far so good, as the man said as he fell past the 27th floor of the 28 floor office block....
Not falling but flying....sometimes close to the ground, but so far so good...
My GP diagnosed reactive depression last oct and prescribed antidepressants which I did not take. I've spent 45 years running from my feeling and I decided I'd live or die with them.....so far so good, as the man said as he fell past the 27th floor of the 28 floor office block....
Not falling but flying....sometimes close to the ground, but so far so good...
I've been posting on this board for over a year--and daily since last April. I shall continue, MY HP willing and the creek don't rise. Take what you can use and leave the rest. If you prefer, you may argue to your heart's content. Speculating what others might think or NOT think is part of what got me here in the first place, and I make it my business not to make it my business. Acceptance is the key.
Lol. I don't see an argument there Skq....just asking you what you think. Sorry if that upsets you for some reason.
Gidday All
Please can everyone throw there F...ing grenades and stop point scoring because it is getting into a lot of other threads and becoming a past time and entertainment as i said in an above post there are many ways to post intent and WE ALL CAN DO IT so lets get on with posting and if any personalities clash start a clash thread to each other if not reread some of the posts and look at our parts of the play
light and love Zac
Please can everyone throw there F...ing grenades and stop point scoring because it is getting into a lot of other threads and becoming a past time and entertainment as i said in an above post there are many ways to post intent and WE ALL CAN DO IT so lets get on with posting and if any personalities clash start a clash thread to each other if not reread some of the posts and look at our parts of the play
light and love Zac
~SIGH~
BOOM....ooops wrong thread
light and love zac
light and love zac
Opps...I posted this on the wrong thread...Here is where I intended to post, lol.
BB, page 16, Bills Story:
"There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldiness and levity. But just underneath there is a deadly earnestness".
---------
Jokes, silly innuendo's, and funny AA references aren't a bad thing...It was even mentioned in the BB in the aforementioned quote...The jokes doesn't discredit the deadly disease we carry, but we aren't a "glum lot", are we???? I have enjoyed reading the funside of the program today. Thank you.
BB, page 16, Bills Story:
"There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldiness and levity. But just underneath there is a deadly earnestness".
---------
Jokes, silly innuendo's, and funny AA references aren't a bad thing...It was even mentioned in the BB in the aforementioned quote...The jokes doesn't discredit the deadly disease we carry, but we aren't a "glum lot", are we???? I have enjoyed reading the funside of the program today. Thank you.
That's hilarious Kat.
Martin,
I'm a big supporter of therapy as are many of my friends in the program.As a matter of fact I got the name of my therapist from my ex-sponsors sponsor.One of the great things I learned in therapy was to quit taking everything so personal.Someone posting a tounge and cheek analogy was maybe just that and didn't have some hidden meaning.
We are a sensitive group of people but walking around and just waiting for someone to offend you robs you of a lot of smiles.There are a lot of great people on this site that don't belong to AA or NA.They stay sober and clean whatever way they choose and I accept that.In fact,I have formed a couple of really tight friendships with non-program people.I learn a lot from them.
I also see a little contention about the program and of course it's always preceeded with"not that I have anything against it and it's fine for other people".
This is not a competition and one of the reasons AA might be mentioned so much is due to the fact this is an addiction recovery board and AA has managed to survive since the mid 30's.It's also free has a proven track record, and not everyone is blessed with the funds to have a private therapist.
Personally,I have found the support and comaradarie from meetings and the people helped me quit isolating.I am no longer the center of the universe and in turn I don't take everthing so damn serious.
One of the reasons why I like this site is the levity.We get to know each other so we can have fun.It would be very bleak if all we did was wallow in our s*** all day so I love to come here and see the human side.
However,I try and never forget the primary purpose which is to try and help a struggling addict.
Martin,
I'm a big supporter of therapy as are many of my friends in the program.As a matter of fact I got the name of my therapist from my ex-sponsors sponsor.One of the great things I learned in therapy was to quit taking everything so personal.Someone posting a tounge and cheek analogy was maybe just that and didn't have some hidden meaning.
We are a sensitive group of people but walking around and just waiting for someone to offend you robs you of a lot of smiles.There are a lot of great people on this site that don't belong to AA or NA.They stay sober and clean whatever way they choose and I accept that.In fact,I have formed a couple of really tight friendships with non-program people.I learn a lot from them.
I also see a little contention about the program and of course it's always preceeded with"not that I have anything against it and it's fine for other people".
This is not a competition and one of the reasons AA might be mentioned so much is due to the fact this is an addiction recovery board and AA has managed to survive since the mid 30's.It's also free has a proven track record, and not everyone is blessed with the funds to have a private therapist.
Personally,I have found the support and comaradarie from meetings and the people helped me quit isolating.I am no longer the center of the universe and in turn I don't take everthing so damn serious.
One of the reasons why I like this site is the levity.We get to know each other so we can have fun.It would be very bleak if all we did was wallow in our s*** all day so I love to come here and see the human side.
However,I try and never forget the primary purpose which is to try and help a struggling addict.
Thanks Tim....I certainly qualify for the struggling bit....it's the addict part I'm still not sure about.
The thing is, I've been pretty happy...happier than most I'd guess...drinking didn't cause me any problems at all until we split up last year, and I travel all over doing a job I really enjoy....I functioned pretty well....I only drank when it wasn't going to affect things or impact my responsibities....but when I could drink I drank to oblivion...it was fun...not a necessity....but what I think I see now is that the fault lines in my personality were going to make it a necessity....I was on that path...it was simply waiting for me....and my ex was the key to that lock....which is one of the reasons I found her attractive....time to let the responsibilities go and have some fun....stop being so bored and boring....but she had kids....and so I became dad...and so part of me got angry at her for having fun and welshing on the deal - when was SHE going to take responsibility? Never, was the answer, 'cos I always would.....so she kept me from becoming physically dependent....I reckon....and has paid the price herself....and I thought I was the martyr, the victim here....dear God....
Am I a struggling addict Tim? Rhetorical question...don't know is the answer...certainly an addict in the making....
So here's what I think, thinking out loud as usual...I have everything I need to destroy myself right here....part of me wants to dive right in...part of me resists...and is winning so far...after we split....my conscious mind is still in denial....I can blame it all on her drinking and drug taking....and so I do....I can feel a fierce thing inside me as I write this....writhing and grasping...it wants her under control....again, something I've never given in to...she did exactly as she pleased and how else could it be with someone you trust?.....so what is this controlling thing buried so deep inside? Child-like...grandiose...demanding the World do as it says....the other half of my compliant, socially acceptable, flexible and accomodating self? Because I have been all those things....am all those things...as well as being independent and assertive where it doesn't matter....outside of my loving relationships........who needs a world to explore when there's all this going on inside....all this stuff I ran away from so long ago....When people used to talk about finding themselves...lol...but its real now for me....what's inside is as real as what's outside....amazing...was I like this before? Is everyone like this? Does it mean I'm unwell? Where's the instruction manual? I guess my parents misplaced it?????
Thanks for taking the time to help Tim.
Martin
Struggling addict? God knows.
2nd Edit
And you see, part of me edited out the bit I wrote earlier about driving drunk at 100mph for an hour....and driving drunk at 90mph across the city at night....of course I'm ashamed...and I've described the latter incident as my rock bottom and its why I stopped drinking...so when I say my drinking hasn't caused a problem....how many times would I have to do that for it to become a problem I wonder...when my therapist asked me about that drive and how worried she should be a part of me answered "once was enough"....and it was....but here I am today editing it out of my past....hiding it from someone trying to help me answer what has to be a central question in my life right now and for whatever time I have left.
Struggling addict? Still don't know....sober? Yes....struggling with life and questions about who he really is, what he wants and how to really live...yes..... ...grateful to be here? Definitely.
Thanks Tim.
The thing is, I've been pretty happy...happier than most I'd guess...drinking didn't cause me any problems at all until we split up last year, and I travel all over doing a job I really enjoy....I functioned pretty well....I only drank when it wasn't going to affect things or impact my responsibities....but when I could drink I drank to oblivion...it was fun...not a necessity....but what I think I see now is that the fault lines in my personality were going to make it a necessity....I was on that path...it was simply waiting for me....and my ex was the key to that lock....which is one of the reasons I found her attractive....time to let the responsibilities go and have some fun....stop being so bored and boring....but she had kids....and so I became dad...and so part of me got angry at her for having fun and welshing on the deal - when was SHE going to take responsibility? Never, was the answer, 'cos I always would.....so she kept me from becoming physically dependent....I reckon....and has paid the price herself....and I thought I was the martyr, the victim here....dear God....
Am I a struggling addict Tim? Rhetorical question...don't know is the answer...certainly an addict in the making....
So here's what I think, thinking out loud as usual...I have everything I need to destroy myself right here....part of me wants to dive right in...part of me resists...and is winning so far...after we split....my conscious mind is still in denial....I can blame it all on her drinking and drug taking....and so I do....I can feel a fierce thing inside me as I write this....writhing and grasping...it wants her under control....again, something I've never given in to...she did exactly as she pleased and how else could it be with someone you trust?.....so what is this controlling thing buried so deep inside? Child-like...grandiose...demanding the World do as it says....the other half of my compliant, socially acceptable, flexible and accomodating self? Because I have been all those things....am all those things...as well as being independent and assertive where it doesn't matter....outside of my loving relationships........who needs a world to explore when there's all this going on inside....all this stuff I ran away from so long ago....When people used to talk about finding themselves...lol...but its real now for me....what's inside is as real as what's outside....amazing...was I like this before? Is everyone like this? Does it mean I'm unwell? Where's the instruction manual? I guess my parents misplaced it?????
Thanks for taking the time to help Tim.
Martin
Struggling addict? God knows.
2nd Edit
And you see, part of me edited out the bit I wrote earlier about driving drunk at 100mph for an hour....and driving drunk at 90mph across the city at night....of course I'm ashamed...and I've described the latter incident as my rock bottom and its why I stopped drinking...so when I say my drinking hasn't caused a problem....how many times would I have to do that for it to become a problem I wonder...when my therapist asked me about that drive and how worried she should be a part of me answered "once was enough"....and it was....but here I am today editing it out of my past....hiding it from someone trying to help me answer what has to be a central question in my life right now and for whatever time I have left.
Struggling addict? Still don't know....sober? Yes....struggling with life and questions about who he really is, what he wants and how to really live...yes..... ...grateful to be here? Definitely.
Thanks Tim.
Martin,
I totally understand the need to process but I will tell ya, it seems like you are trying to explain yourself to death..Everyone has there stories, most of us deal with the same issue of hiding our feelings (huge reason why I drank), Please remember, as far as I know, no one on here is a therapist. Most of your posts seem like justifications...or denial...Just one alcoholic's view. Take it or leave it. Doesn't matter to me.
If you are trying to process your feelings, I find the recovery diary board quite useful. Not many people read it, as far as I can tell, so it is just for you. So here is a candid question...Do you prefer to write it on a thread to get attention or are you really asking for help? Just something for you to consider.
All of this is said with love. You will receive it as you receive it. None of my business.
I totally understand the need to process but I will tell ya, it seems like you are trying to explain yourself to death..Everyone has there stories, most of us deal with the same issue of hiding our feelings (huge reason why I drank), Please remember, as far as I know, no one on here is a therapist. Most of your posts seem like justifications...or denial...Just one alcoholic's view. Take it or leave it. Doesn't matter to me.
If you are trying to process your feelings, I find the recovery diary board quite useful. Not many people read it, as far as I can tell, so it is just for you. So here is a candid question...Do you prefer to write it on a thread to get attention or are you really asking for help? Just something for you to consider.
All of this is said with love. You will receive it as you receive it. None of my business.
Hi Zipper,
You've studied psychology Zipper...I don't understand why you posted that. Would you mind telling me, otherwise I'm going to worry about the metamessage and the subtext lol....or is that projection/transference/introjection/taking myself too seriously and also verboten by order of the Comittee? lol
I'd be really interested to know.
I'm usually just thinking out loud and usually in response to something interesting someone's asked me or said. Everyone can skip my posts if they like. I won't be offended. If someone wants me to not do that on their thread they can say so and I don't mind. 12stepper asked me not to debate anything and I respected that - I posted my ESH and then others started to comment and it went from there....I'm quite amenable really.
As for the last bit about receiving your post as I will....well, I don't mean this unkindly and it is not aimed at you zipper,.....but an idea seems to have taken root here - much more than in the rooms I visit - that one can communicate and not be responsible for the reasonably forseeable effect of one's message. Communication has a purpose. To convey information and/or meaning from one person to another. Any communications skills course will tell you/us that the meaning of a communication is the response it elicits and that it is the responsibility of the person communicating to shape the message so that it elicits the intended response. That's the definition of skilful communication, to which I'm sure we all aspire and at which many of us struggle..... The idea that we can say what we like without taking any responsibility for the outcome runs counter to the very REASON communication EXISTS. The idea that we have the right and responsibility to CHOOSE our response is a valuable tool in recovery and life....
The TOOL for alcoholics is to consider their RESPONSE...not claim the RIGHT to insult/intimidate/imply/humiliate/put down/control others through carefully crafted "innocent" posts loaded with judgements and tones of superiority....and yes, maybe I hear some of that where there is none intended sometimes, I've owned that and I've communicated poorly myself many times.....but I don't hear so much of it anywhere else in my life and never have....
And if you think that's just my warped thinking I should point out that my country - and probably yours - has laws against incitement to terrorism, behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace, using foul and abusive language, incitement to racism....and indeed, yelling "fire" in a theatre or "bomb" in an aeroplane....we all know people are hardwired to respond to communication in certain ways...and if the World marched in step with the idea (tactic to evade resopnsibility) used here there would be no such laws....it would all be the responsibility of the people reacting to the communication...
Just my humble opinion....no anger, no resentment, no other deadly sin...just thinking out loud...life's so interesting ... lol
And similarly, although I appreciate you writing that you mean it with love, a love that really doesn't care about the outcome certainly isn't a love Shakespeare would have recognised...lol...why would anyone post anything to another person if they don't want to influence that person in some way?
Our motives are always that little bit deeper than we know. Mine included...so I thought a lot about this post and now I'll go away and think about it again.
Best wishes, always.
You've studied psychology Zipper...I don't understand why you posted that. Would you mind telling me, otherwise I'm going to worry about the metamessage and the subtext lol....or is that projection/transference/introjection/taking myself too seriously and also verboten by order of the Comittee? lol
I'd be really interested to know.
I'm usually just thinking out loud and usually in response to something interesting someone's asked me or said. Everyone can skip my posts if they like. I won't be offended. If someone wants me to not do that on their thread they can say so and I don't mind. 12stepper asked me not to debate anything and I respected that - I posted my ESH and then others started to comment and it went from there....I'm quite amenable really.
As for the last bit about receiving your post as I will....well, I don't mean this unkindly and it is not aimed at you zipper,.....but an idea seems to have taken root here - much more than in the rooms I visit - that one can communicate and not be responsible for the reasonably forseeable effect of one's message. Communication has a purpose. To convey information and/or meaning from one person to another. Any communications skills course will tell you/us that the meaning of a communication is the response it elicits and that it is the responsibility of the person communicating to shape the message so that it elicits the intended response. That's the definition of skilful communication, to which I'm sure we all aspire and at which many of us struggle..... The idea that we can say what we like without taking any responsibility for the outcome runs counter to the very REASON communication EXISTS. The idea that we have the right and responsibility to CHOOSE our response is a valuable tool in recovery and life....
The TOOL for alcoholics is to consider their RESPONSE...not claim the RIGHT to insult/intimidate/imply/humiliate/put down/control others through carefully crafted "innocent" posts loaded with judgements and tones of superiority....and yes, maybe I hear some of that where there is none intended sometimes, I've owned that and I've communicated poorly myself many times.....but I don't hear so much of it anywhere else in my life and never have....
And if you think that's just my warped thinking I should point out that my country - and probably yours - has laws against incitement to terrorism, behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace, using foul and abusive language, incitement to racism....and indeed, yelling "fire" in a theatre or "bomb" in an aeroplane....we all know people are hardwired to respond to communication in certain ways...and if the World marched in step with the idea (tactic to evade resopnsibility) used here there would be no such laws....it would all be the responsibility of the people reacting to the communication...
Just my humble opinion....no anger, no resentment, no other deadly sin...just thinking out loud...life's so interesting ... lol
And similarly, although I appreciate you writing that you mean it with love, a love that really doesn't care about the outcome certainly isn't a love Shakespeare would have recognised...lol...why would anyone post anything to another person if they don't want to influence that person in some way?
Our motives are always that little bit deeper than we know. Mine included...so I thought a lot about this post and now I'll go away and think about it again.
Best wishes, always.
Martin,
Yes, I have an education in psychology...but that has nothing to do with how I interpret your posts, which in my opinion, flounder in the problem and not the solution.
I communicate my honesty, how you interpret what I've communicated is none of my business because, you see, I don't take it personal. I can't change you. I can't change anything about your posts, your interpretations, your analysis.
I am ending this here and now. My intention about writing you my thoughts is because you have dominated several threads trying to justify, analyze, or compete with attention. I called you out on it. You don't have to agree with it.
IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!! Stop playing the "I am unique" trick. It is old and it aint serving ANYONE. Get in the solution.
Yes, I have an education in psychology...but that has nothing to do with how I interpret your posts, which in my opinion, flounder in the problem and not the solution.
I communicate my honesty, how you interpret what I've communicated is none of my business because, you see, I don't take it personal. I can't change you. I can't change anything about your posts, your interpretations, your analysis.
I am ending this here and now. My intention about writing you my thoughts is because you have dominated several threads trying to justify, analyze, or compete with attention. I called you out on it. You don't have to agree with it.
IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!! Stop playing the "I am unique" trick. It is old and it aint serving ANYONE. Get in the solution.
