So sorry to post again but i had to!. my hubby was on his way out the door and i am there to say good bye and there is a brown bag w/ my name on it, my husband picks it up & i open it , in frount of him and there were 4 vics in there!ahhhhhhh, it was a friend who owed them to me, i totally forgot about that, my husband looked at me and i started shaking, and i got high anxiety, sweat, shakes i wanted those pills, they were right there in my hand, i looked at my husband and told him to flush them , he asked me if i was sure and he was mad at my friend for doing that to me, but there gone, gone , ahh gone, ok , i keep telling myself its ok jazzy, its going to be ok.. ah man talk about the hardest thing to do, why do these pills have such a freaking tight hold on my neck?? thanks for listening and my husband was sooooo proud of me as i told him that i was serious about my recovery, THANK GOD HE WAS HERE!!
oh and we are getting along great as well, this just backed me up more, maybe i am thankfull for this, because it showed him and u know what they say actions speak louder than words:) ok, thanks for your time..jazzy
way to go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You did the right thing. I still get really nevous about some things...just don't feel bad. that is normal. I had to go to the pharm yesterday to get meds for my kids, I was having anxiety attacks...
you did well, girly.
kerry
I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You did the right thing. I still get really nevous about some things...just don't feel bad. that is normal. I had to go to the pharm yesterday to get meds for my kids, I was having anxiety attacks...
you did well, girly.
kerry
YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! I hope THAT proved to your hubby that you are serious! I'm SOOO proud of you! I'm really glad that you and your husband are getting along, too. It makes recovery so much easier if you don't have to stress out about things like that. CONGRATS TO YOU!!!!
Thanks little beach and sugar bear, that was hard but not as bad as it could of been like made a million excuses why i needed them , i just know it is all due to the fellow ship of NA..:) :).. thank god for all of u and the fs..
Hi Jazzy
I just wanted to encourage you that what you did was awesome. I know how diffficult it can be I have been there twice recently. Once my uncle came round to my home, very unusual, on leaving he handed me a brown paper bag and said this will help you get through the hard bit smoke it and things will seem a lot better. It was a Bag full of Bush OMG I didnt even know he new I was coming off various substances, or that he used drugs, but good old mum had told him, he really thought he was doing me a good turn. It became a blessing in the end, I made a quickly made the desicion and showed it to my wife and we had a cerimonial flushing, it felt great and gave her a new confidence in me.
Second time I found some codeine (240mg) in my jacket pocket that I had forgot to clear out. That was hardest because I was at a party and was feeling self concious and not very comfortable in my body (do you know what I mean?) this amount of codeine would have made me a real fun guy to be around (or thats what I imagined) since my tolerance would have dropped. I am please to say I got rid of that.
I think these things come along to test us and to show us that we can do it. Weather it comes from God letting the devil test you or your higher power, or whatever spiritual model floats your particular boat, manuvering to give you strength. I believe God never puts His children through any thing they cant ultimately handle.
Paul
I just wanted to encourage you that what you did was awesome. I know how diffficult it can be I have been there twice recently. Once my uncle came round to my home, very unusual, on leaving he handed me a brown paper bag and said this will help you get through the hard bit smoke it and things will seem a lot better. It was a Bag full of Bush OMG I didnt even know he new I was coming off various substances, or that he used drugs, but good old mum had told him, he really thought he was doing me a good turn. It became a blessing in the end, I made a quickly made the desicion and showed it to my wife and we had a cerimonial flushing, it felt great and gave her a new confidence in me.
Second time I found some codeine (240mg) in my jacket pocket that I had forgot to clear out. That was hardest because I was at a party and was feeling self concious and not very comfortable in my body (do you know what I mean?) this amount of codeine would have made me a real fun guy to be around (or thats what I imagined) since my tolerance would have dropped. I am please to say I got rid of that.
I think these things come along to test us and to show us that we can do it. Weather it comes from God letting the devil test you or your higher power, or whatever spiritual model floats your particular boat, manuvering to give you strength. I believe God never puts His children through any thing they cant ultimately handle.
Paul
HI" jazzy just think u did it girl u said FLUSH THEM just think what that tells u about how strong u are deep down" yes your hubby was there and believe me i know thats a great support but he gave u a choice he said are u sure and u made the right one u said YES" that is a very big step be proud of you i sure am very PROUD OF U dear jazzy please stay strong and keep remembering those words FLUSH THEM.. HUGS + LOVE LITTLE H.
Good for you Jazz - that took alot of willpower!! I had a similar experience when a "so called" friend came over and took out a bottle of oxy's - said she needed some money and if I knew anybody....... I felt lilke choking her!!!!
You GO!!!
Love,
Marie
You GO!!!
Love,
Marie
Thanks for you replys and also i know a girl wjo is on oxys and i luv her but i noticed that when ever I am around her i seem to have pain ahh no i wanna get high, so i know what you mean! again thanks for the luv, jazzy:)
YOU ROCK ! ! !
THAT IS THE BEST NEWS I HAVE HERD ALL DAY !!!
KEEP IT UP ~
Marina ~
You rock as well:0)!!! and i will , thanks, all my luv... jazzy
Hello Jasmine,
I'm so happy for you! That must of been a very difficult couple of minutes for you! But in the end you made the right decision and I'm sure you feel good about it.
You didn't make up or find any excuse to take the pills. You stood your ground and you were real with yourself. By doing that you made the right decision and flushed them down the toilet. Like I always tell myself now, why would I want to temporary feel high now just to feel bad later on for alot longer period of time.
Well girl, you won the battle today. Keep it up and be strong and be real!
Bye for now.
I'm so happy for you! That must of been a very difficult couple of minutes for you! But in the end you made the right decision and I'm sure you feel good about it.
You didn't make up or find any excuse to take the pills. You stood your ground and you were real with yourself. By doing that you made the right decision and flushed them down the toilet. Like I always tell myself now, why would I want to temporary feel high now just to feel bad later on for alot longer period of time.
Well girl, you won the battle today. Keep it up and be strong and be real!
Bye for now.
hey kiwirain, aint that the truth! thanks for the post, i was woundering where u were hun? how r u doing today?? hope all is well ... u take care and keep up the GREAT work! :) your friend jazzy..
Heya Jas,
Im doing ok today. Feelin really tired. I've been up since 4:30am. Had a super bad stomach ache and was in the bathroom for a while. I'll leave out all the details. I also went and did my cardio again today but my back has been causing me alot of pain again lately. Stupid fractured back!! Oh well. I'll just deal with it the best I can, no matter what taking any pills is outta the question!!!!
Other then that my brother is coming to town today. He lives outta town so it will be good to see him!
Take care,
I'll be around posting here and there today.
Im doing ok today. Feelin really tired. I've been up since 4:30am. Had a super bad stomach ache and was in the bathroom for a while. I'll leave out all the details. I also went and did my cardio again today but my back has been causing me alot of pain again lately. Stupid fractured back!! Oh well. I'll just deal with it the best I can, no matter what taking any pills is outta the question!!!!
Other then that my brother is coming to town today. He lives outta town so it will be good to see him!
Take care,
I'll be around posting here and there today.
Good to hear from all of you! i hope that you and your brother have a good time and excersise is great! i need to do that, lol.. you take care and check out that poem i am your disease andlet me know what cha think, luv jazzy:)
ok, i just talked to my friend & yelled at her for leaving those pills on my door step, she said she was sorry and i asked her how she could do that to me?, she said, i was only trying to replace what i borrowed, ahhh,..she knows that I am recovering from a slip up, what a idiot, i wounder what the hell is wrong w/people, gezzz luizzz.. sorry had to vent..
