This week I began to get wobbly regarding my sobriety and it started with the FEAR of storms coming through, followed by trying to reason with a very sick non-AA person in the dental office, followed by wrestling chaos from my serenity and culminating in trying to help people who don't want or need my help. I do this from time to time, and anyone who's followed my recovery on this board who "knows" me understands me.
So I had to do a quick inventory--a Step 10--to find out why the anxiety was creeping back into my life. No, it wasn't because someone else heard what they didn't want to hear; No, it wasn't because the dental clerk was less than astute, and no, it wasn't because of the CRAP that happens in my life from time to time. It was because I'd lost my One Cool Thing--my perspective. My gratefulness. Instead, I was becoming, "GREAT-FULL."
I have to understand that there are people that don't want or care about my opinions, nor do they care about my serenity or my recovery. My recovery is MY responsibility and I can't force people to accept that, either.
So when I read the gratefulness thread this morning after PLEADING with MY HP to show me where I'd gone wrong, I was reminded that I stopped my One Cool Thing every day. For those of you who don't know what "One Cool Thing" is, my sponsor told me the very first day we talked to ask MY HP to show me one cool thing every day--and then make it my business to look for it. And be sure to THANK MY HP for it before going to sleep at night.
I'm a graduate of the 12 Step program, but I'm still an alcoholic. I need to constantly weed and feed, fertilize and till my garden because if I don't, I'll forget--and get right back down to eye-level with the curb of life.
Thanks, you positive people on ARG, for keeping me sober--and grateful--just for today.
THE KEY IS WILLINGNESS March 7, 2008 Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35
The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all of my problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over my problem, pain, or obsession. My level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of willingness I possess at any given moment to give up my self-will, and allow Gods will to be manifested in my life. With the key of willingness, my worries and fears are powerfully transformed into serenity.
SKG , I guess its nice to know you are human after all. We all get those days. I think I thought you had it all figured out. The 'solution' if there is one.
We all get those days. But hey you are an example of these steps working and an example to me 'the reluctant recoverer' to keep on trying.
And trying......... until one day I might also help someone.
Skg I agree with Ruth that you are human like the rest of us. Maybe sometimes there have been too much pressure put on you from those of us who are still sick and wanting easy answers or a fast cure,for which we know there is none. It is only a daily reprieve for all of us and that includes you. I think you are well respected on this board and I think both your opinion and advice are valued by those who seek it. Your enthusiasm and your willingness to help is evident in your posts and I know you are passionate about the AA program.You and I may not always agreed and that is ok but I still respect your honesty and advice .You have helped me many a times which I am sure you have helped others. For that I thank you. Your desire to help others is inspiring and I think I speak for more than myself when I say also appreciated. You take care and have a great sober day. God bless and be safe.
My gratefulness. Instead, I was becoming, "GREAT-FULL."
I have to understand that there are people that don't want or care about my opinions, nor do they care about my serenity or my recovery. My recovery is MY responsibility and I can't force people to accept that, either.
Thank you, SKG for this post. I loved it and I love you. You are an inspiration to my recovery, always....
Oh, and that do you wanna be right or do you wanna be happy? Miss Katbird used that on me many times....now when I become frustrated, it automatically runs through my head and I can smile....
SKG: do you mind lending me the "one cool thing" principle for awhile..:) I love it. In order not to break any infringement laws or plagiarism, I will change mine to, "one amazing thing". :)
Have at it! One request: Tell us what the One Amazing Thing (did you have your OATs today?) was on the "Today I'm Grateful For..." thread? :)
Believe it or not, this "One Cool Thing" came back into play in my Step 11 (Awareness principle) that my sponsor explained to me. It's MY responsibility to practice these principles in all my affairs--and I forget sometimes. And then I'm sideways...
