Hi everyone.
Let me re-iterate once again to all those who were slighted how very very sorry I am that you were made to suffer for nothing that you had done. The blame lies entirely with me.
M2, I'm sorry that you now doubt my exsistence. I don't know what to say except that I do exsist. I have been careful not to post on the site what I've done over the course of my life in terms of education and job speciality in the way you have done. This is unfortunate as it gives the impression that I am not forthcoming in the way you are and are devious and slippery fostering the image of the Victorian bogeyman with a hooked nose and an ashen white face with a stooping gait waiting to pounce on the unwary. I have on more than one occasion tried to do so in response to you and to others who've asked me outright but after years of playing the artful dodger, I reverted to type all too easily. I was a little hurt by all the aspertions cast over my character but then I guess I have no one to blame but myself. I hope that you will believe me that I never meant for any of this to happen. I now feel that I have lost the respect and support of the one group that made an inestimable difference in my recovery. In this I am truly the loser.
As for "A" as she called herself, the police sadly has had to get involved. Strangely enough,it was her who went to them to make a report about me rather than the other way round. A pair of duty constables came over to my flat with her, sat down with both of us and allowed her to state her grievences. The officers soon realised that 1st,she saw conspiracies everywhere,on the internet, at the local supermarket, a girl at the local pub was singled out for an exceptional tirade because she is always friendly towards me. Any and every woman was fair game. It ended with us agreeing to stay away from each other. That did not last.
3.30am and a brick went through a window in my house. Unfortunately, she put it through a window of the flat next to mine, and so now I have a very irate neighbour to add to all the irate people on this website, on my email list, from my new circle of friends. I dare not go out the house for fear of bumping into her . I'm not afraid. I just don't want a confrontation. I'm exhausted and fearful and have alienated the very people I was counting on for support i.e. people on this site as it is clear from what I've read that people have had enough and want nothing more to do with this or me. They have gone so far as to doubt my sincereity,honesty yea even my very exsistence,as though I am the creation of a sick mind.
I don't know what to do. I have 4 days worth of food. Hopefully things will have calmed down by then. The phone rings incessantly with calls from people telling me to "stop her from doing this/that/something or other". What can I do? What am I going to do?
Anyway, the purpose of this post is to apologise to mum-n-more,to kittekat, to lost, to all the people who got it in the neck just through trying to help me. I promise you it will never happen again
this seems like an odd turn to me, I havent been here as long but I read many of the archives, I have thought you always sounded like a writer, spinning a story, true or not I don't really know for sure, whatever the truth, I am glad you have posted and I pray you find what you are truly seeking
Reshie mate, i think you've got it wrong. The way i read the comments on the board is that they were all directed at whoever had hijacked your name, not at you. It was SO obvious that it was not you! Don't be paranoid, you have nothing to apologise for, it was not you who did it and you had no control over what she did and it most certainly did not cause me ANY suffering, just concern for you.
My first impression of the comments made by your ex (i hope!) lady were that it was kids messing about but it soon became clear that it was a very jealous lady. Kitekat and momnmore were responding to her, not to you. You haven't lost anyones support and it really is nothing to apologise for anyway, again the way i read the replies were that we were all concerned for our friend reshie.
A brick through the neighbours window eh? That must have gone down a storm! She sounds like a real psycho reshie, i hope you do manage to stay away from her. I remember you once saying how a womans mind/intellect was what attracted you, what did you see in this lady? I don't know you but judging from her posts and yours, they seemed worlds apart. Don't just settle for anyone because you are lonely resh, you deserve so much more than that and a woman like that who sounds like she thrives on continuous drama would ruin your recovery very quickly.
I hope you are ok, please don't think you have alienated anyone, we're all still here for you. Get yourself some nice food, some sleep or settle in front of some truly awful easter films and chill, it'll all seem better in the morning. You have my e-mail if you need a chat.
Lots of love Forest xxx
My first impression of the comments made by your ex (i hope!) lady were that it was kids messing about but it soon became clear that it was a very jealous lady. Kitekat and momnmore were responding to her, not to you. You haven't lost anyones support and it really is nothing to apologise for anyway, again the way i read the replies were that we were all concerned for our friend reshie.
A brick through the neighbours window eh? That must have gone down a storm! She sounds like a real psycho reshie, i hope you do manage to stay away from her. I remember you once saying how a womans mind/intellect was what attracted you, what did you see in this lady? I don't know you but judging from her posts and yours, they seemed worlds apart. Don't just settle for anyone because you are lonely resh, you deserve so much more than that and a woman like that who sounds like she thrives on continuous drama would ruin your recovery very quickly.
I hope you are ok, please don't think you have alienated anyone, we're all still here for you. Get yourself some nice food, some sleep or settle in front of some truly awful easter films and chill, it'll all seem better in the morning. You have my e-mail if you need a chat.
Lots of love Forest xxx
What lost said. X
Look at what momg has written. If that is the sum total of what has come out of months and months and pages and pages of pouring my soul out onto this site, then what's the point?
All I appear to have done is "spin a story,true or not I don't really know for sure". Is that it? Is that what I am?
I don't know why but that has really knocked me for six. Kicked me in the metaphorical teeth.
But fear not, no more yarns.No more stories.
All I appear to have done is "spin a story,true or not I don't really know for sure". Is that it? Is that what I am?
I don't know why but that has really knocked me for six. Kicked me in the metaphorical teeth.
But fear not, no more yarns.No more stories.
Reshie, you owe me no apology...perhaps I owe you one. It was me who said that maybe you did not exist, but my first response was to the person who had most obviously pretended to be someone she was not.
Support for you will continue as it always has. Just because I post who I am and parts of my history does not in any way indicate that anyone should do the same...this is an anonymous site to protect those who need support and do not wish their identities to be known...so no worries that you have not revealed more of yourself, you have your reasons and I respect them. I understand what a touchstone this site can be for those of us who have struggled with addiction in all its forms and I cannot imagine if the good people here withdrew their support when I needed it, so stop worrying about what is done and over and let's move on.
Do not allow yourself to made a prisoner in your own home...you haven't done anything wrong, though I certainly understand the desire to avoid more drama. Hang tough...you are being tested and we all hope you make it through the tough stuff.
Peace ~ M&M
Support for you will continue as it always has. Just because I post who I am and parts of my history does not in any way indicate that anyone should do the same...this is an anonymous site to protect those who need support and do not wish their identities to be known...so no worries that you have not revealed more of yourself, you have your reasons and I respect them. I understand what a touchstone this site can be for those of us who have struggled with addiction in all its forms and I cannot imagine if the good people here withdrew their support when I needed it, so stop worrying about what is done and over and let's move on.
Do not allow yourself to made a prisoner in your own home...you haven't done anything wrong, though I certainly understand the desire to avoid more drama. Hang tough...you are being tested and we all hope you make it through the tough stuff.
Peace ~ M&M
Dear Reshie,
It's terrible that you and your main support network has been hijacked by your ex girlfriend. It just proves how she is in the wrong. I'm really sorry I don't have time to write more now, but I want you to know you have my full support.
Love,
Rachel :)
It's terrible that you and your main support network has been hijacked by your ex girlfriend. It just proves how she is in the wrong. I'm really sorry I don't have time to write more now, but I want you to know you have my full support.
Love,
Rachel :)
Thanks Rachel.
Just so everyone knows, I've got a custom avatar (a black rotating ball ), If anyone posts anything using my nom de plum without this avatar, it is NOT me ok. Thank you all for the indulgence.
R>
Just so everyone knows, I've got a custom avatar (a black rotating ball ), If anyone posts anything using my nom de plum without this avatar, it is NOT me ok. Thank you all for the indulgence.
R>
you took my comment a little out of context, sorry, I thought that your saga, "story" was interesting, we all have a story to tell and i meant no disrespect
Resh
Sometime I think I can't keep a secret anymore. I don't know who to tell or when or how,, but Im normal> so I get depressed . I dont even know whats this post is all about -but I think feel ya* * *
I do know you wont feel better without telling someone
This disease.makes us say things ,and feel different . sometimes day to day > I hate school. I hate time, I hate being alone, I hate people, , I hate drugs ,,I hate my mind,, I hate being awake, I hate absolutely everything.
Then we take it out our fustrations the wrong way sometimes *
. I just want to be better right now.!!! I just want the energy & the strength to recover.
- As addicts trying to recover ,we only know that we want it now- and in a way thats a good thing- - I pretty sure no-one feels any apology is do- although its nice to recognize when you catch yourself being unpleasant towards someone
all is good
and will get better
love&respect
jack
Sometime I think I can't keep a secret anymore. I don't know who to tell or when or how,, but Im normal> so I get depressed . I dont even know whats this post is all about -but I think feel ya* * *
I do know you wont feel better without telling someone
This disease.makes us say things ,and feel different . sometimes day to day > I hate school. I hate time, I hate being alone, I hate people, , I hate drugs ,,I hate my mind,, I hate being awake, I hate absolutely everything.
Then we take it out our fustrations the wrong way sometimes *
. I just want to be better right now.!!! I just want the energy & the strength to recover.
- As addicts trying to recover ,we only know that we want it now- and in a way thats a good thing- - I pretty sure no-one feels any apology is do- although its nice to recognize when you catch yourself being unpleasant towards someone
all is good
and will get better
love&respect
jack
I just don't know if I'm coming or going. Everything I do I end up making someone angry. Now Kittekat is the latest. She hates me now. I just wonder who is to be next. I can't seem to stop myself from shooting myself in the foot. I haven't left the flat for 2 days. I feel like I'm under seige. I feel like I'm going out of my brain.
Can someone please help me?
Can someone please help me?
Reshie
Please. I'm just an observer in this drama, but from my seat nobody here has ever given any indication of hating you. Nobody is angry with you; some people were puzzled and yes, annoyed about things that were said in your name and said by the gal pal that crashed the party. There were some misunderstandings. Everyone has clarified and apologized.
Please, it's over now. Take a deep breath, or many. Look around, look at the weeks and months of history that have shown you that this is a place of support, validation and admiration for you. Today can be different, you can let go of the chaos. Try just going forward if you can.
Sometimes the feeling that everything has gone to s*** is just that, a feeling. Doesn't have to be real, doesn't have to be acted on, just like the feeling that you have to use doesn't have to be acted on and doesn't necessarily reflect a real state of affairs. And crazy as this sounds, acting as if things are as they were before the tornado came through helps thing BE as they were before the storm.
You're a lucky fellow, not speaking for anyone but it sounds like MnM, KK, momg, Lost, and many others are still here for you, and that ain't chopped liver. Breathe. It's gonna be OK. <hugs to you>
Good luck and God bless.
Please. I'm just an observer in this drama, but from my seat nobody here has ever given any indication of hating you. Nobody is angry with you; some people were puzzled and yes, annoyed about things that were said in your name and said by the gal pal that crashed the party. There were some misunderstandings. Everyone has clarified and apologized.
Please, it's over now. Take a deep breath, or many. Look around, look at the weeks and months of history that have shown you that this is a place of support, validation and admiration for you. Today can be different, you can let go of the chaos. Try just going forward if you can.
Sometimes the feeling that everything has gone to s*** is just that, a feeling. Doesn't have to be real, doesn't have to be acted on, just like the feeling that you have to use doesn't have to be acted on and doesn't necessarily reflect a real state of affairs. And crazy as this sounds, acting as if things are as they were before the tornado came through helps thing BE as they were before the storm.
You're a lucky fellow, not speaking for anyone but it sounds like MnM, KK, momg, Lost, and many others are still here for you, and that ain't chopped liver. Breathe. It's gonna be OK. <hugs to you>
Good luck and God bless.
If what you need is reassurance that your still wanted, valued then you have it get well my friend god bless kat x
Please email me if you can, Reshie. castlerache@hotmail.com
