I understand the impulse and the need to feel like you are in control of at least some small part of your life when in actuallity you are not.
Thank you for framing it that way. I'd never thought about it in terms of control before. My "retail therapy" seemed, in fact, so out of control. But I guess compared to other behaviors at the time, that makes a lot of sense.
I've enjoyed your contributions to this board. I hope to see you here often.
We don't become saints just because we get clean.Even actively working on myself ,old behaviors rear their ugly head.If I'm stressed or find myself angry,lonely and tired,acting out in varoius ways enters my head.
But don't you think that while we are using, our inabitions are a tad looser? We feel more immortal? Like nothing can happen to us and if it did, so what?
Those were very real feelings for me. Gambling, sex etc...
You are right though, we don't get perfect just because we got clean. That's so apparent it's funny.
I can't believe someone else has this issue. The only time I ever shoplift is when I take xanax. I thought I might be the only one who did this. I guess the xanax covers up my conscience.
