WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE!
Opinionitus Virus Spreading over the Internet!
WASHINGTON, D.C.--The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to express every groundless story, legend, and opinion they have in an internet forum, chatroom or via email.
The Opinionitus Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people express everything they feel on subjects such as politics, religion, ect. And if left untreated, virus sufferers quickly lose the ability to realize the opinions they are expressing are merely opinions and begin to expect others to agree with them.
Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:
- Uncontrollable urge to send your thoughts and ideas into everyone in cyberspace.
- Expressing thoughts as fact and without thinking about them first.
- The urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others or post it 5 times just to make sure everyone sees it.
- Being unable to express your thoughts in 3 pages or less.
- Using exclamation points in your post or email to make it appear more important.
- Unwilling to take three minutes to check to see if a story is true before posting it.
- Being suprised and even shocked when everyone else doesn't agree with you.
- Becoming hostile with those who disagree with you and accusing them of being too opinionated.
Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recommend that at the first feelings of opinionitus, Internet users rush away from the computer and count to 10 before posting their thoughts.
If the urge to express every opinion still exists, virus sufferers are urged to use their favorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence, so they might see that there are actually two sides to every story and other people are in fact allowed to feel differently and can even express their own opinions on the internet.
If you suffer from opinionitus and are unable to control it, please call the anti-virus hotline at 1-800-SHUT -UP and we will come and smash your keyboard for you. If you have expressed more than three strong opinions in the past 24 hours, please call immediately as you are threatening the happiness and well being of others on the internet.
Jules- I like 999-shut-up better...
Are you disagreeing with me bullwinkle? Cuz I'll jump right down your throat for that!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
No way..i am always agreeable...