Hey, all.
Hey Parenting, Hope your doing okay. Thinking of you. Mary.
Parenting - sorry I did not respond to your post. I was all out of opinions that day! LOL
Hope you are navigating well today!
Hope you are navigating well today!
Hi All,
For some reason, I could not log-in. It's me-parenting.
I totally understand! I edited the post because 1. things are a bit better 2. I decided I was being kind of co-dependent with the whole thing.
Guess what? I still can't save him. Lesson learned, time number 4000.
I appreciate the love! <3
For some reason, I could not log-in. It's me-parenting.
I totally understand! I edited the post because 1. things are a bit better 2. I decided I was being kind of co-dependent with the whole thing.
Guess what? I still can't save him. Lesson learned, time number 4000.
I appreciate the love! <3
Here's more love, Parenting!
Because we love our kids, we WILL try over and over again to save them. That's natural and normal. I'd worry about you if you didn't want him to be happy and whole . . . and didn't want to help him get there.
That was one of the hardest parts with my Jill. If she remained in college, we would have supported her and paid tuition. If she had graduated or dropped out under other circumstances, we would have welcomed her home with open arms and helped her find her feet so she could be independent. We would have paid her security deposit on her apartment, bought groceries, bought her enough clothes to get thru a work week, taken her on vacation, etc. It was so hard to NOT do any of this . . . to not give our only child the basics . . . to detach with love. I had to harden my heart.
Keep posting & venting. We are all here for you. . . no matter what.
Wrapping you in cyber hugs & prayers,
Lynn
xoxo
Because we love our kids, we WILL try over and over again to save them. That's natural and normal. I'd worry about you if you didn't want him to be happy and whole . . . and didn't want to help him get there.
That was one of the hardest parts with my Jill. If she remained in college, we would have supported her and paid tuition. If she had graduated or dropped out under other circumstances, we would have welcomed her home with open arms and helped her find her feet so she could be independent. We would have paid her security deposit on her apartment, bought groceries, bought her enough clothes to get thru a work week, taken her on vacation, etc. It was so hard to NOT do any of this . . . to not give our only child the basics . . . to detach with love. I had to harden my heart.
Keep posting & venting. We are all here for you. . . no matter what.
Wrapping you in cyber hugs & prayers,
Lynn
xoxo
Oh my goodness!!!! I love you all.
It is so difficult and SO important to have you all.
Adding to all the issues, is the stigma. I know it's been mentioned before, but if our children had cancer, the community would throw benefits and bring us dinner. With these horrible situations, it is the opposite. And, we still see our little children that we raised, now looked at as druggies and less-thans by others. I met with someone about college for one of my other kids, and of course, kept fighting that unreal feeling that my son has turned his back on all his great options for life. Lynn, when I read your posts, Jill so much like my son.I am so sorry you lost her to this. Big cyber hugs.
This group helps me more than you will ever know! I would still be running around like crazy, desparate, crying, a mess! I am doing much better and have accepted so much because of sharing and learning.
It is so difficult and SO important to have you all.
Adding to all the issues, is the stigma. I know it's been mentioned before, but if our children had cancer, the community would throw benefits and bring us dinner. With these horrible situations, it is the opposite. And, we still see our little children that we raised, now looked at as druggies and less-thans by others. I met with someone about college for one of my other kids, and of course, kept fighting that unreal feeling that my son has turned his back on all his great options for life. Lynn, when I read your posts, Jill so much like my son.I am so sorry you lost her to this. Big cyber hugs.
This group helps me more than you will ever know! I would still be running around like crazy, desparate, crying, a mess! I am doing much better and have accepted so much because of sharing and learning.
Ladies, i read an analogy that hurt so bad, but made so much sense. Detaching with love can feel like watching your child headed for a cliff at full speed, and saying "well, ok then...see you at the bottom". Our hearts want to jump in the vehicle and steer it away from the cliff, in a safe and sane direction. It is gut-wrenching to know that if we get in that vehicle, we lose our lives also. Sending peace and strength, especially during these next holiday weeks. Thank you to all who keep reaching out and naming their pain, and hope, in an effort to lighten others' heartbreak. Libby
Libby--
Loved that analogy! So true! Really hard for me especially at this time of year. I always worry about him at Christmas--Where will he be? Will he be ok? Does he think about us?
We go away to the mountains for Christmas and I sometimes feel guilty that he isn't able to be with us, but then I remember --this was his choice! He had every opportunity to be with us -- to be a part of this family--
Not easy ,but I have the rest of my family to consider and myself as well. Took me a long time to stop thinking that I needed to sacrifice myself and my life for him. I felt like that was what I was supposed to do to be a good mom. Finally after many years of being a part of my son's addiction, I have come to reality and that is knowing I can't change his future--only he can. I am not responsible for the place he is in life--he is! When I got to this point--things changed for me and I could let go and let God. He is still battling his demons and addiction, but I am confident that I am doing the right thing and it took a long time to get here!
This site and all your support has been my saving grace and for that I thank you!
((HUGS to ALL))) Lori
Loved that analogy! So true! Really hard for me especially at this time of year. I always worry about him at Christmas--Where will he be? Will he be ok? Does he think about us?
We go away to the mountains for Christmas and I sometimes feel guilty that he isn't able to be with us, but then I remember --this was his choice! He had every opportunity to be with us -- to be a part of this family--
Not easy ,but I have the rest of my family to consider and myself as well. Took me a long time to stop thinking that I needed to sacrifice myself and my life for him. I felt like that was what I was supposed to do to be a good mom. Finally after many years of being a part of my son's addiction, I have come to reality and that is knowing I can't change his future--only he can. I am not responsible for the place he is in life--he is! When I got to this point--things changed for me and I could let go and let God. He is still battling his demons and addiction, but I am confident that I am doing the right thing and it took a long time to get here!
This site and all your support has been my saving grace and for that I thank you!
((HUGS to ALL))) Lori
