matt72582@hotmail.comI've been snorting oxycontin for over a year now. I have used more than I have, but its worst in the winter time. If I don't have any available, I take about 6-8 750 Vicodin. I wanna quit, I went an entire week with just vicodin, pot, valium, etc., but when someone calls me telling me they have them, I can't help it. I like them that much.
I need suboxen, something, the problem is I have no health care, I have my open business where I work 7 days a week, open to close (even on Thanksgiving). What can I do? Is there anything to help. I want to quit, but I love the drug so much. I've been suffering from sleep difficulty from a very early age, 4 years old. If I don't get enough sleep, I can snort even only a half a 40mg pill, feel good, and it gives me energy to make it through another day. Besides sleep, my life is just terrible, I hear it all the time, people saying "my life sucks too," which is true many have troubled lives, but many overexaggerate, but in any case, oxys and other painkillers kill pain, it kills fatigue, exhaustion, it temporarily kills depression too. The one thing I want in my life I can't have, I've been in love for 5 years, and we don't even talk. It would be easy if I had the time and money for counseling and what not, but I run my business all by myself, and have absolutely no time. I want to quit everything, most sites or places want you to spend thousands at a rehab center. I can't even see a doctor, unless one is willing to come for free and help me, and let's face it, people don't help people just for the fun of it, its hard to find those people. Talking helps, but the drug is too powerful for words.
Right up my ally-snorted and in between 10mg perks Zanax and alcohol.
You lost me. You have your own business? No insurance?
Jeff
P.SHere is suboxene link--certain states have programs where you can pay it off monthly.
The pills will kill you sooner or later. Business comes second. Sobriety first.
http://www.buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/about.html
Find a doctor ASAP
You lost me. You have your own business? No insurance?
Jeff
P.SHere is suboxene link--certain states have programs where you can pay it off monthly.
The pills will kill you sooner or later. Business comes second. Sobriety first.
http://www.buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/about.html
Find a doctor ASAP
That's right. I'm about 50k in debt, with loans, college, personal, business, house, list goes on and on, and you'd think I wouldn't have the money for the drugs, but I always find ways. I won't eat all day not to kill my buzz, save money, snort oxys. I do anywhere from 40-80 mgs. I was just talking to my friend, I'm waiting to buy 4 40s for $100. As a kid, I never EVER thought I would even touch a cigarette. I just started my business Nov. 1st, and I've been working all day long, til 4 am sometimes. Without the drugs, I'm in pain, I can't work, and for anyone who has had their own business, you have obligations, you do whatever you can to make it happen. Even without a business, I used when I was managing stores.
I just wonder if there are any foods that help, anything on earth, a natural pill I can buy online, even talking to you guys helps me feel like I'm not alone, and I wish everyone here could quit in a heartbeat, but I know that isnt possible, but everyone wants anyone to talk with, my AIM name is matt72582, I can provide you with my number, I know how it feels, I'm only 23, have been doing this for over a year, waiting as we speak for my next fix, but when will last one be? Today it was 5 vicodin, but its not enough, valium, oh well, I take that for medical purposes, honestly. I smoke pot a lot, quit cigs (only smoked menthols after a snort), I have pleurisy and asthma, so I really need valium. I Have lung problems, but I think its more anxiety, I just can't be happy, and I won't ever be happy until I get what I want, I'm difficult, I know. I was just downstairs playing the drums, and then though, what if someone calls, I had my phone on vibrate in my pocket, but what if someone came knocking instead of calling, my entire family knows about it, its killing my mom, but its killing me, but still, I don't think she helps enough, I just feel alone. I have a house all to myself, I didn't do drugs really when I was just seeing and talking with the girl I loved, but after that, I did whatever I could to hurt my body and put myself in a dull, numb sort of way. At age 19, I was an alcoholic when I first moved out, my life is a mess.
I just wonder if there are any foods that help, anything on earth, a natural pill I can buy online, even talking to you guys helps me feel like I'm not alone, and I wish everyone here could quit in a heartbeat, but I know that isnt possible, but everyone wants anyone to talk with, my AIM name is matt72582, I can provide you with my number, I know how it feels, I'm only 23, have been doing this for over a year, waiting as we speak for my next fix, but when will last one be? Today it was 5 vicodin, but its not enough, valium, oh well, I take that for medical purposes, honestly. I smoke pot a lot, quit cigs (only smoked menthols after a snort), I have pleurisy and asthma, so I really need valium. I Have lung problems, but I think its more anxiety, I just can't be happy, and I won't ever be happy until I get what I want, I'm difficult, I know. I was just downstairs playing the drums, and then though, what if someone calls, I had my phone on vibrate in my pocket, but what if someone came knocking instead of calling, my entire family knows about it, its killing my mom, but its killing me, but still, I don't think she helps enough, I just feel alone. I have a house all to myself, I didn't do drugs really when I was just seeing and talking with the girl I loved, but after that, I did whatever I could to hurt my body and put myself in a dull, numb sort of way. At age 19, I was an alcoholic when I first moved out, my life is a mess.
Hi Matt -
Welcome, and youve made the first step by acknowledging that you do have a problem and coming to this site. I've been where you are (as have many here). Actually, I was at a point where I was literally taking at least 20 10mg percs a day, plus have snorted oxys (40mg, 80mg - basically, whatever I could get my hands on).
Of course, your best bet is always to seek professional medical advise. However, I dont think you would have a problem quitting at the doseage youre taking (as long as you dont have any other medical problems) on your own..
Alot of people here can give you very good advice, Matt. Have you ever thought of going to NA or AA meetings? They could be very helpful.
First thing I would do is to try to taper down (alot of people dont agree with this and you will get several other suggestions, I'm just telling you what I did), but have someone else hold your meds and make a schedule and stick to it. Let your Dr. and pharmacist know about your problem. You are not alone. Also, this wont make it as easy to get them if you are tempted once you do stop. You probably will suffer from some withdraws - alot of it is mind over matter.
Some people have been strong enough to just take whatever meds they had left and flush them down the toilet. You wont die from the w/d's - actually, I think the fear of them was actually worse the the actual w/ds.
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. I'm sure you will be given alot more advice. Please keep posting. It helps to talk to people who have been there. Noone will judge you here. We've all been there and have heard all the stories.
Boy, I didnt realize how much I wrote - good luck and have a good night.
Love,
Marie
Welcome, and youve made the first step by acknowledging that you do have a problem and coming to this site. I've been where you are (as have many here). Actually, I was at a point where I was literally taking at least 20 10mg percs a day, plus have snorted oxys (40mg, 80mg - basically, whatever I could get my hands on).
Of course, your best bet is always to seek professional medical advise. However, I dont think you would have a problem quitting at the doseage youre taking (as long as you dont have any other medical problems) on your own..
Alot of people here can give you very good advice, Matt. Have you ever thought of going to NA or AA meetings? They could be very helpful.
First thing I would do is to try to taper down (alot of people dont agree with this and you will get several other suggestions, I'm just telling you what I did), but have someone else hold your meds and make a schedule and stick to it. Let your Dr. and pharmacist know about your problem. You are not alone. Also, this wont make it as easy to get them if you are tempted once you do stop. You probably will suffer from some withdraws - alot of it is mind over matter.
Some people have been strong enough to just take whatever meds they had left and flush them down the toilet. You wont die from the w/d's - actually, I think the fear of them was actually worse the the actual w/ds.
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. I'm sure you will be given alot more advice. Please keep posting. It helps to talk to people who have been there. Noone will judge you here. We've all been there and have heard all the stories.
Boy, I didnt realize how much I wrote - good luck and have a good night.
Love,
Marie
Matt: Why do you not have insurance. You are obviously incorporated. Get insurance ASAP in the meantime checkout the doctor locator and get oin the subs
100$ for 4 40's? You got moneyfor the pills but none for a doctor?
You need to hit your bottom.
Good Luck. Check out that locator before you really get f-ed up. I started with 10mg 2X and within a short while was snorting 100-200 a day eatimng xanax and drinking to come down and my 10-325 percs for breakthrough pain-LOL what a joke.
Matt you need help get it.
Jeff
100$ for 4 40's? You got moneyfor the pills but none for a doctor?
You need to hit your bottom.
Good Luck. Check out that locator before you really get f-ed up. I started with 10mg 2X and within a short while was snorting 100-200 a day eatimng xanax and drinking to come down and my 10-325 percs for breakthrough pain-LOL what a joke.
Matt you need help get it.
Jeff
Like I said, even when I did have insurance, I work wayyyyy over 70 hours a week. I am there every minute my business opens and closes, I really don't have the time for a doctor.
I appreciate you guys talking to me. My brother just called, who does them on occassion as well, jerk of a brother, but I know he cares, but he does a lot of crap to make things worse, outside of drugs. He's one to tell my friends, people he knows not to give me stuff, and it annoys me. I'm now waiting from what I thought was 8 p.m. to 11 p.m., and 11 usually means 12.
It's funny, I was asking my mom a min ago if she could get my suboxen from her doctor, of course, she had to relay this to my dad who thinks I can just turn it off at any second. Within one minute of me telling him about problems hes already kinda familiar with, his niece calls for my mom, "we'll talk about this later," and I told my mom BYE, that I didn't wanna talk to my dad, but other people are more important I guess, not that I care, but its like they wanted to talk so bad, until someone else called. They couldnt say, "Our son and us were talking." ALl they care is image, I rather do oxys all my life than live for a reputation.
I appreciate you guys talking to me. My brother just called, who does them on occassion as well, jerk of a brother, but I know he cares, but he does a lot of crap to make things worse, outside of drugs. He's one to tell my friends, people he knows not to give me stuff, and it annoys me. I'm now waiting from what I thought was 8 p.m. to 11 p.m., and 11 usually means 12.
It's funny, I was asking my mom a min ago if she could get my suboxen from her doctor, of course, she had to relay this to my dad who thinks I can just turn it off at any second. Within one minute of me telling him about problems hes already kinda familiar with, his niece calls for my mom, "we'll talk about this later," and I told my mom BYE, that I didn't wanna talk to my dad, but other people are more important I guess, not that I care, but its like they wanted to talk so bad, until someone else called. They couldnt say, "Our son and us were talking." ALl they care is image, I rather do oxys all my life than live for a reputation.
Matt within 3 days on a start up of 8 mg of suboxene i was back to semi normal. Given a drug called serequel for sleep. The combo has been working for me.
Matt sorry I have been exactly where you are.
Your business means nothing if your all Pucked up on oxy. You will only get worse.
Keep the link--Good luck--Jeff
AA-NA meetings are free and you can get to one anytime.
Matt sorry I have been exactly where you are.
Your business means nothing if your all Pucked up on oxy. You will only get worse.
Keep the link--Good luck--Jeff
AA-NA meetings are free and you can get to one anytime.
Welcome, Matt
If you keep using its not going to get any better. It will probably get worse. You can use all the excuses you want for not going to a detox but that's all they are...excuses. AA and NA are free. You can go if you are still using. You can slip in the door and sit in the back and just listen. If you want, you can introduce yourself as a newcomer and ask for help. It's up to you. Or you can keep using until it gets worse. Your choice. Most of us here have felt as hopeless as you feel now and we will help you if we can but you probably need more than online help. I know I did and many others here too. Keep coming back.
If you keep using its not going to get any better. It will probably get worse. You can use all the excuses you want for not going to a detox but that's all they are...excuses. AA and NA are free. You can go if you are still using. You can slip in the door and sit in the back and just listen. If you want, you can introduce yourself as a newcomer and ask for help. It's up to you. Or you can keep using until it gets worse. Your choice. Most of us here have felt as hopeless as you feel now and we will help you if we can but you probably need more than online help. I know I did and many others here too. Keep coming back.
Hey Matt,
A year or so ago, I realized that I needed help quitting pills and booze, but my husband & I owned a bussiness, so rehab was out of the question.(so I thought) So I spoke to my therapist and she suggested Naltrexone (rivea) to help with the cravings for opiates and it also helps with the booze. So I saw my doc and I got the naltrexone and I quit everything for 90 days. But I didn't do any recovery work...I was a dry drunk. I started back up on the pills and booze. The naltrexone fools that part of your mind that opiates affect into thinking that there is an opiate there, when there isn't.(this is how it was explained to me by the doc) AND if you try to use an opiate while on it, you feel nothing from the opiate. It was helpful for me at that time. Maybe you could speak to your doc about it. If you can spend $100 for oxys, you can spend the $$ on the doc.(just my opinion)
Anyhooo, I went back out and got hooked on norcos, lortab and vicodin and a lot of wine. This past June, while still owning our bussiness, I checked into rehab. I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired that I knew it was time. For me, It was either death or get cleaned up.
So in summary, I believe that there are resources out there for you in your situation. I was really scared when I decided to get clean...so worried about our bussiness, which by the way I was screwing up right and left b/c I was wasted all the time. Call a doc....you can do this. Just the fact that you are here posting is a wonderful first step.
Once I made the first step, things started falling into place. Again Matt, this is what I went through and just my opinion. Let me/us know how you are doing. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Hugs,
Pammy
A year or so ago, I realized that I needed help quitting pills and booze, but my husband & I owned a bussiness, so rehab was out of the question.(so I thought) So I spoke to my therapist and she suggested Naltrexone (rivea) to help with the cravings for opiates and it also helps with the booze. So I saw my doc and I got the naltrexone and I quit everything for 90 days. But I didn't do any recovery work...I was a dry drunk. I started back up on the pills and booze. The naltrexone fools that part of your mind that opiates affect into thinking that there is an opiate there, when there isn't.(this is how it was explained to me by the doc) AND if you try to use an opiate while on it, you feel nothing from the opiate. It was helpful for me at that time. Maybe you could speak to your doc about it. If you can spend $100 for oxys, you can spend the $$ on the doc.(just my opinion)
Anyhooo, I went back out and got hooked on norcos, lortab and vicodin and a lot of wine. This past June, while still owning our bussiness, I checked into rehab. I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired that I knew it was time. For me, It was either death or get cleaned up.
So in summary, I believe that there are resources out there for you in your situation. I was really scared when I decided to get clean...so worried about our bussiness, which by the way I was screwing up right and left b/c I was wasted all the time. Call a doc....you can do this. Just the fact that you are here posting is a wonderful first step.
Once I made the first step, things started falling into place. Again Matt, this is what I went through and just my opinion. Let me/us know how you are doing. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Hugs,
Pammy
Well, is there anything past 7 or 8 pm? I am willing to do whatever, but I have a partner, more of a silent partner, he has another job, he helps financially, I can't let my friend down, even though I know my health is the most important, but I can't let my problems mess with the lives of other people, my problem can't be others problems. I just wish there were doctors, clinics, things of this nature when people like me aren't working. If I went to a hospital, I'd be there for 6 hours and these type of things aren't solved overnight, they require weeks of counseling, verbal, medical help. I talked to my partner, he told me just to quit, he had vicodin problems, more psychological than physical, but he has his own obligations, just like I have mine, and everyone else on this board.
I want to thank each and every one of you for just replying. You people probably don't know me, but it helps to know someone cares enough to type words in hope they can help me, just like I would do for anyone else.
I want to thank each and every one of you for just replying. You people probably don't know me, but it helps to know someone cares enough to type words in hope they can help me, just like I would do for anyone else.
Hey Matt,
I know you said you can't let your friend down, your partner, but what about you? (I am saying this in a very gentle voice..it's hard to write how I'm sounding :-) ) What about letting yourself down? This is your life. Your bussiness is going to be in bigger trouble if you are too messed up to run it. I was a mess running mine. My husband was doing everything.
I know what you mean about the hospital...I went to the ER one night and they said there wasn't much they could do for me and it would have been like 5 hours. BUT..if you feel that crummy, go and wait.
Call a doc on Monday. Keep posting. Is there a friend you can call to talk to about this?
Hugs,
Pammy
I know you said you can't let your friend down, your partner, but what about you? (I am saying this in a very gentle voice..it's hard to write how I'm sounding :-) ) What about letting yourself down? This is your life. Your bussiness is going to be in bigger trouble if you are too messed up to run it. I was a mess running mine. My husband was doing everything.
I know what you mean about the hospital...I went to the ER one night and they said there wasn't much they could do for me and it would have been like 5 hours. BUT..if you feel that crummy, go and wait.
Call a doc on Monday. Keep posting. Is there a friend you can call to talk to about this?
Hugs,
Pammy
Matt
Look in your phone book for Narcotics Anonymous. There is a phone number you can call for info. If you can't find NA, try Alcoholics Anonymous. They can tell you where meetings are and perhaps help you with some information on a detox in your area. Good luck.
Look in your phone book for Narcotics Anonymous. There is a phone number you can call for info. If you can't find NA, try Alcoholics Anonymous. They can tell you where meetings are and perhaps help you with some information on a detox in your area. Good luck.
Matt,
You will have lots of money to pay for a sub dr when you give up the pills, stop making excuses and do something now before it's too late.....Shel
You will have lots of money to pay for a sub dr when you give up the pills, stop making excuses and do something now before it's too late.....Shel
Yeah, friends I can talk with, but most don't know what its like, and those who do, don't have responsibilities I do. I just got off the phone with someone from NA, there are some in my area. I know its not treatment, I probably can't get treatment, I know they don't offer it there, but it fits in my schedule, so its my loss if I don't go. I wish everyone the best of luck, and when in doubt, light a doobie, maybe it will help, I've been smoking 3 years straight, not addictive at all, not great for the lungs, but its much better than other things. Thanks all....
Get to an NA meeting. You will be amongst people that will so relate to what's going on with you. Put the doobie down and go to a meeting. You can do this.
Hugs,
Pammy
Hugs,
Pammy
I might go to one tonight, maybe Friday, I just wondering if talking can help, because my problem is not only mental, its physical. I would like to go with a friend so I don't feel alone, because that's a problem in itself.
Hey Matt,
I know it's scarey to go to a meeting alone. If I may make a suggestion....introduce yourself at the begining of the meeting and then hang out afterwards and talk with folks. Try and go, if you can, you mentioned something about physical problems...you'll feel better
Pammy
I know it's scarey to go to a meeting alone. If I may make a suggestion....introduce yourself at the begining of the meeting and then hang out afterwards and talk with folks. Try and go, if you can, you mentioned something about physical problems...you'll feel better
Pammy
I've talked to a lot, hell, I have many friend who do it, some almost as much as I do, talking just doesn't seem to help. I put it this way, it can't hurt, but I won't know until I go. I need physical attention, suboxyn, whatever takes the desires to take it, because no matter how much I want to quit, I love taking them.
Hey Matt,
You've got to want to quit more than you want to take them.
Don't mean to sound harsh, but I just know how I was...I wanted the chaos to be gone, to feel good without pills, have my life back.
Keep on posting....think about what we have all said.
Hugs,
Pammy
You've got to want to quit more than you want to take them.
Don't mean to sound harsh, but I just know how I was...I wanted the chaos to be gone, to feel good without pills, have my life back.
Keep on posting....think about what we have all said.
Hugs,
Pammy
Matt: If you really do want to quit using pain pills (no matter how you take them) and want to have a chance to create a real life for yourself, than you will find a way to do it. I read that you have a business, a partner and enough money to pay $100:00 for not much of a high. All that tells me that you know how to get what you want. You know how to work your business and keep your partner, you know how to find the drugs you want. You have a computer and obviously a telephone. So, the next step is using all those same skills to find out how you can recover. No matter how poor you are, or your lack of insurance, every state in the US, and every part of Canada has hospital emergency rooms. You can go in to any emergency room for medical help at any time. They have to bill you if you can't pay up front. In fact at night they don't want you to pay upfront because they have no financial people on duty. Also you can call the NA hotline that is listed in your loical phone book and they can tell you where you can go for help, and for a meeting.
I was not at all being sarcastic about writing that you know how to do this. You are quite young and you know more than you think you do. I really do believe that for all addicts, including myself, that if we put even 1/2 of what we put into using, into recovery-well that puts us on a pretty good path. Good luck to you.
elsiejean
I was not at all being sarcastic about writing that you know how to do this. You are quite young and you know more than you think you do. I really do believe that for all addicts, including myself, that if we put even 1/2 of what we put into using, into recovery-well that puts us on a pretty good path. Good luck to you.
elsiejean
