took one oxy for actual pain and started addiction again, feeling ashamed, need a sponser but none to be found
Hi Jane
Welcome to the boards. I too started my addiction with the dragons tail, then dropped that, got clean lived a good life and thought I could handle another opiate for legit pain. Wow was I wrong! It unleashed another 5 year addiction relapse.
Now I feel shame and despair over the lies I not only told myself but to those around me. It was a slow decline but ended in the same chaos that my"junkie" days brought upon me. It only tales a second to undo all I had worked for.
Now I am on day 39 clean from that and working to understand why! I am trying to sort out many of the same crap that I thought I had already learned. I am trying to be easy on myself and have been going to as many meetings of NA as possible. I am an addict, will always be an addict and I need to work through again until I can live with myself and live fully without drugs of any kind.
Wish you good luck, don't give up !
Leslie
Welcome to the boards. I too started my addiction with the dragons tail, then dropped that, got clean lived a good life and thought I could handle another opiate for legit pain. Wow was I wrong! It unleashed another 5 year addiction relapse.
Now I feel shame and despair over the lies I not only told myself but to those around me. It was a slow decline but ended in the same chaos that my"junkie" days brought upon me. It only tales a second to undo all I had worked for.
Now I am on day 39 clean from that and working to understand why! I am trying to sort out many of the same crap that I thought I had already learned. I am trying to be easy on myself and have been going to as many meetings of NA as possible. I am an addict, will always be an addict and I need to work through again until I can live with myself and live fully without drugs of any kind.
Wish you good luck, don't give up !
Leslie
Hi and welcome! No need to feel ashamed. How long had you been clean? Alot of people can relate. Hold your head up, it's ok. HUGS
Need to find a sponsor? What is causing your problem to finding a sponsor?
Jeff
Jeff
Hey girltoday!!
How are you doing?? Glad christmas in over and getting ready to head into the new year?
My grandkids go back to school tomorrow after being off for 2 weeks+ (Dec.20 to Jan6.) Was nice for me as well, I didnt have to get up so early and my husband got up every single day to feed our animals so I could sleep in. Today was my last morning to sleep in.......Sure was nice.
Anywho I hope everything is going well for you.
Granny
How are you doing?? Glad christmas in over and getting ready to head into the new year?
My grandkids go back to school tomorrow after being off for 2 weeks+ (Dec.20 to Jan6.) Was nice for me as well, I didnt have to get up so early and my husband got up every single day to feed our animals so I could sleep in. Today was my last morning to sleep in.......Sure was nice.
Anywho I hope everything is going well for you.
Granny
Hey Granny!
I'm doing well. I just put my little guy on the school bus he was off for the same amount of time as your's. Yes i'm glad the holidays are over, this was my first sober Christmas and News Years in a very long time. I've been blessed to always give my son and family a good Christmas and the same went for this year but this year i gave myself a good one as well :). Cause it felt good to be in the moment and sit back and enjoy living! I even found out that one of my five brothers(and his s/o) started going to the clinic. One of the same ones that I went to:) even has the same counsler that I did. GREAT NEWS! I hope he works it the way it's ment to be but I know this counsler is not the best to have but thats not me so im out of it still glad hes making the effort. I even called him (the counsler) to chat and let him know how I was doing. It felt really good to be able to tell him that i had clean time. Funny i felt like I was in school telling him I passed the deal lol.
But things are good. Getting cold around here today the high is 20 degrees BRRRRR.
I"m still going to meetings and taking things one day at a time cause thats how I learn slowly but surely.
Glad you got to rest up i agree it was nice to sleep in. Thanks for caring and asking how I was doing HUGS!
Jessica
I'm doing well. I just put my little guy on the school bus he was off for the same amount of time as your's. Yes i'm glad the holidays are over, this was my first sober Christmas and News Years in a very long time. I've been blessed to always give my son and family a good Christmas and the same went for this year but this year i gave myself a good one as well :). Cause it felt good to be in the moment and sit back and enjoy living! I even found out that one of my five brothers(and his s/o) started going to the clinic. One of the same ones that I went to:) even has the same counsler that I did. GREAT NEWS! I hope he works it the way it's ment to be but I know this counsler is not the best to have but thats not me so im out of it still glad hes making the effort. I even called him (the counsler) to chat and let him know how I was doing. It felt really good to be able to tell him that i had clean time. Funny i felt like I was in school telling him I passed the deal lol.
But things are good. Getting cold around here today the high is 20 degrees BRRRRR.
I"m still going to meetings and taking things one day at a time cause thats how I learn slowly but surely.
Glad you got to rest up i agree it was nice to sleep in. Thanks for caring and asking how I was doing HUGS!
Jessica
