Hi Shell, Yes I like it too! There was another one I think PapaBear posted called "Not This" or "Not Now" or something like that, it was very good too! Maybe you know the one? Take care! Mary
Mandm,
I loved the poem!
I believe and receive it. I've had zero communication. It hurts each and everyday but I read all the supportive post, it's the only reason that I've been able to let go.
I loved the poem!
I believe and receive it. I've had zero communication. It hurts each and everyday but I read all the supportive post, it's the only reason that I've been able to let go.
Mandm
Thanks for the read
You guys are always on time for support.
I've had zero contact and not responded to him in any way.
I have good and bad days but I am still moving on.
Thanks for the read
You guys are always on time for support.
I've had zero contact and not responded to him in any way.
I have good and bad days but I am still moving on.
Hi Da, I know it's hard. But later on your going to be glad you moved on. You want a happy life for yourself. Not one where your frightened to come home at night for fear of not knowing what state your husband or boyfriend will be in. Life is too short to be unhappy. You should go join a gym, learn yoga or do Pilates. Do something that's out of the ordinary that you've always thought you'd like to try. I bet you'll have the best fun and it will be good to meet new people. I use to do Pilates and loved it! It is good for your mental health too not just your physical health. Then when you don't need alanon meetings anymore ( hopefully soon) get away from the drug world altogether. There's only misery there don't be around it if you can help it. None of us want to be here but we're stuck because of our kids, spouses etc. Good luck. Your a strong girl to know when to walk away. Stay strong! Mary.
Mandm, thank you!
I do go to gym at least 5x a week. Something I used to do before i met dude. I am back at it again, and i take hot yoga. I truly want out of the drug world.
You all will be blessed as you jumped right in and supported me with DETAILED POSTS! I feel so blessed to have found this site. Thank you JESUS
HurtingMom, if you read this post, i read "will you learn to say no'" knocked me off my feet. It was excellent and so true. The writer explained everything i needed to know and the things i was in denial about "a means to an end" it was a good read.
I couldn't find the post "Ways Family Members can help"
Thank you all
I do go to gym at least 5x a week. Something I used to do before i met dude. I am back at it again, and i take hot yoga. I truly want out of the drug world.
You all will be blessed as you jumped right in and supported me with DETAILED POSTS! I feel so blessed to have found this site. Thank you JESUS
HurtingMom, if you read this post, i read "will you learn to say no'" knocked me off my feet. It was excellent and so true. The writer explained everything i needed to know and the things i was in denial about "a means to an end" it was a good read.
I couldn't find the post "Ways Family Members can help"
Thank you all
Hey Da.....I've been reading every day about you. You are doing fantastically well!!! I've got out my Pom Poms for you!!! Btw....you never said (or I don't remember) how old you are, how old he is & where you are geographically.
So happy glad for you Da!!! You are in the right path. It will have pot holes, bumps & detours, though. I have no doubt that you will weather those with the same strength, grace and class that you have shown so far.
I'll bump up the other post. As Mary said, I hope once you have healed, you will move very far away from drugs, addicts and addiction. (Although I'll miss you on this site.)
Wrapping you in hugs & lifting you in prayer,
Lynn
Xoxo
PS I hear the peace in your post. That's a great place to be emotionally & spiritually..... But...please remain vigilant re your safety!!!!! Yes, he could have learned his lesson with you, decided not to tempt going to jail and decided to leave you alone. I pray that this is what is happening. Then again, as per the dv cycle wheel, this could be the lull before the storm. One reason I asked where you are geographically is bc in my area (northeast US) I get goo gobs of posts/emails re pitbull type dogs up for adoption.
So happy glad for you Da!!! You are in the right path. It will have pot holes, bumps & detours, though. I have no doubt that you will weather those with the same strength, grace and class that you have shown so far.
I'll bump up the other post. As Mary said, I hope once you have healed, you will move very far away from drugs, addicts and addiction. (Although I'll miss you on this site.)
Wrapping you in hugs & lifting you in prayer,
Lynn
Xoxo
PS I hear the peace in your post. That's a great place to be emotionally & spiritually..... But...please remain vigilant re your safety!!!!! Yes, he could have learned his lesson with you, decided not to tempt going to jail and decided to leave you alone. I pray that this is what is happening. Then again, as per the dv cycle wheel, this could be the lull before the storm. One reason I asked where you are geographically is bc in my area (northeast US) I get goo gobs of posts/emails re pitbull type dogs up for adoption.
Mary and Lynn
I am doing good, thank God. Ive had some emotionally bad days but I survived them (thanks to you all). Thanks for bumping up the post.
I am 46 and he is 50, i live in northeast.
Also, yesterday Friday, he finally got in contact with me, via a transferred call from someone at my job, i thought it was a member, i answer and it was him. This is the first time, ive spoken to him since he attacked me. He's begging and crying for me to come back "home" i wouldnt say a word, please dont hang up on me, i cant believe ive gotten you on phone. I want to marry you, i am a changed person, we both are to blame, i know i did some hurtful things.
Ladies, what i heard was "it's your payday, i am craving coke, i want your money, i am broke and desperate" so, again ladies, i thank you for those posts "will you ever learn yo say no" and all of your encouraging words. I kindly told him i had to get back to work and I hung up the phone.
I am doing good, thank God. Ive had some emotionally bad days but I survived them (thanks to you all). Thanks for bumping up the post.
I am 46 and he is 50, i live in northeast.
Also, yesterday Friday, he finally got in contact with me, via a transferred call from someone at my job, i thought it was a member, i answer and it was him. This is the first time, ive spoken to him since he attacked me. He's begging and crying for me to come back "home" i wouldnt say a word, please dont hang up on me, i cant believe ive gotten you on phone. I want to marry you, i am a changed person, we both are to blame, i know i did some hurtful things.
Ladies, what i heard was "it's your payday, i am craving coke, i want your money, i am broke and desperate" so, again ladies, i thank you for those posts "will you ever learn yo say no" and all of your encouraging words. I kindly told him i had to get back to work and I hung up the phone.
Da...I was crying and having a pity party....I'm planning for Mother's Day weekend to be horrible & horrid (but that's a different story)...your post made my tears stop...AND made me smile!!!
YOU GO, GURL!!!!
I'm so happy glad that he didn't catch you completely off guard ... that you stayed on point....that you were true to you....BUT I'm so so sorry that his conversation and behavior were predictable. I know that you see exactly where on the dv cycle wheel his "I'm sorry...let's get married...come home" part and calling from an untraceable number part is coming from. And, I know from your reading you see the manipulative, money hungry, selfish actively using addict part of him too.
I've got to ask....because I'm beating the drum of self protection (y'see I have no secret agenda)....how do you feel about the circumstances he created to speak to you? He had to call someone else, probably chat with them a minute and then calmly, without raising their suspicion ask to talk with you. Did it cross your mind that he would go to so much time, thought & effort to get to you....in a place and in a way when your defenses are low? I'm just saying....
I'm going to find some happy music .... and celebrate strong, wonderful you!!!!
Sending hugs,
Lynn
PS Most of us here are not old enough to be your mom....so just consider us the older sisters you just found!! Lol
YOU GO, GURL!!!!
I'm so happy glad that he didn't catch you completely off guard ... that you stayed on point....that you were true to you....BUT I'm so so sorry that his conversation and behavior were predictable. I know that you see exactly where on the dv cycle wheel his "I'm sorry...let's get married...come home" part and calling from an untraceable number part is coming from. And, I know from your reading you see the manipulative, money hungry, selfish actively using addict part of him too.
I've got to ask....because I'm beating the drum of self protection (y'see I have no secret agenda)....how do you feel about the circumstances he created to speak to you? He had to call someone else, probably chat with them a minute and then calmly, without raising their suspicion ask to talk with you. Did it cross your mind that he would go to so much time, thought & effort to get to you....in a place and in a way when your defenses are low? I'm just saying....
I'm going to find some happy music .... and celebrate strong, wonderful you!!!!
Sending hugs,
Lynn
PS Most of us here are not old enough to be your mom....so just consider us the older sisters you just found!! Lol
Geeze - Da' you must have been rattled after That phone call! Glad you held your ground!
It always amazes me how the addict is smart enough to manipulate a phone call - and to know it is someone else's payday - and think they are entitled to that paycheck! -- etc.... yet (in my son's case) can't buy a pair of sox, or go into a supermarket. The simplest daily tasks he "can't figure out" "forgot"..... (my son has been in recovery for two years, 3-4 months clean at a time, yet still struggles w relapse. so - at 50 yrs old I do not think this man is changing , and not over a week's time!)
Next time, hang up right away, dont give him the time to listen. stay firm, he will eventually stop when he gets nothing.
Marriage - the ultimate trap to suck you in and make it harder for you to leave!! I know your too smart for that one!
eventually, you may want to change a few things. your bank accounts, your phone number, your location, etc. Ooohh - right - he called you at work... hey if you dont recognize the number of the incoming call, send it to voice mail. if its a legit person, they will leave a message.
It always amazes me how the addict is smart enough to manipulate a phone call - and to know it is someone else's payday - and think they are entitled to that paycheck! -- etc.... yet (in my son's case) can't buy a pair of sox, or go into a supermarket. The simplest daily tasks he "can't figure out" "forgot"..... (my son has been in recovery for two years, 3-4 months clean at a time, yet still struggles w relapse. so - at 50 yrs old I do not think this man is changing , and not over a week's time!)
Next time, hang up right away, dont give him the time to listen. stay firm, he will eventually stop when he gets nothing.
Marriage - the ultimate trap to suck you in and make it harder for you to leave!! I know your too smart for that one!
eventually, you may want to change a few things. your bank accounts, your phone number, your location, etc. Ooohh - right - he called you at work... hey if you dont recognize the number of the incoming call, send it to voice mail. if its a legit person, they will leave a message.
Lynn
I know Mother's Day will be hard, i pray your strength and know that, you will be OK. God's got you.I wish you the best. I am glad that i put a smile on your face :-) Calling my job,
He's done that the very first time we broke up (in the beginning) and i told him not to ever do it again, don't play with my job and he never did it again, until yesterday.
Yes, this morning before i posted, i read the DV cycle and it was all on point. I really appreciate you and your support for me.
Mary,
I will say. Prayer for your son, I know this must be very hurtful, it's your baby, your son.
I promise, next time, i will just hang up, and yes, some part of me started hanging on to his words, Marriage, yup made me melt, then, i quickly regained my senses. I will let all unknown calls roll into voicemail. The best part is that i do not want to return to that life. I was able to go out with friends after work with no pressure, no back to back calls from him accusing me of stuff. I was at peace.
I appreciate you too :-).
Location change is something i am considering, its just a matter of time before he shows up at my door. I just hope, he just goes away. I am giving him a chance to do so. You're right at 50, he will not change.
I know Mother's Day will be hard, i pray your strength and know that, you will be OK. God's got you.I wish you the best. I am glad that i put a smile on your face :-) Calling my job,
He's done that the very first time we broke up (in the beginning) and i told him not to ever do it again, don't play with my job and he never did it again, until yesterday.
Yes, this morning before i posted, i read the DV cycle and it was all on point. I really appreciate you and your support for me.
Mary,
I will say. Prayer for your son, I know this must be very hurtful, it's your baby, your son.
I promise, next time, i will just hang up, and yes, some part of me started hanging on to his words, Marriage, yup made me melt, then, i quickly regained my senses. I will let all unknown calls roll into voicemail. The best part is that i do not want to return to that life. I was able to go out with friends after work with no pressure, no back to back calls from him accusing me of stuff. I was at peace.
I appreciate you too :-).
Location change is something i am considering, its just a matter of time before he shows up at my door. I just hope, he just goes away. I am giving him a chance to do so. You're right at 50, he will not change.
Thank you for thinking of me Da, very sweet of you and I appreciate it! But good for you! You handled that call very well although it must have shocked you hearing his voice again. He is so full of it! All the sweet talk is just a way to get you back again. Remember if he gets away with hitting you once he will do it again!! Can you imagine being married to him? Omg! You had a narrow escape there. Do you think he will come to your door? If he does do not answer it!! Next time he calls you, which I'm sure he will...tell him in a stern voice to stop calling you and that if he comes anywhere near you that the police will be called. That he's lucky he's not in jail now for hitting you already. Remind him to mail you the money he took from you too. Then hang up!! Close that chapter of your life and file it under "Not meant to be" and then as that door closes another door will open up for you. Things happen when you least expect them. Good luck to you Da. Stay strong!! Mary
NY i thank you for your words. I pray your son beats this too.
The no contact is still in full effect. Adjusting to my new life and dealing with just me, feels so weird :) it feels both good and lonely. But not so lonely and weird where i want to invite the drama back in my life.
I love me.
The no contact is still in full effect. Adjusting to my new life and dealing with just me, feels so weird :) it feels both good and lonely. But not so lonely and weird where i want to invite the drama back in my life.
I love me.
Just checking in.......I hope all is well with everyone and Happy Mothers' Day
Still no contact, cant say the same for him but still i ignore. I don't even want to go into the details of his latest Facebook antics with my family.
I am doing well, and getting back to my old self while praying and asking God to heal my heart and remove any hate i may feel.
I really appreciate all of your support, don't know where i would be if I hadn't stumbled upon this page. God is good.
Still no contact, cant say the same for him but still i ignore. I don't even want to go into the details of his latest Facebook antics with my family.
I am doing well, and getting back to my old self while praying and asking God to heal my heart and remove any hate i may feel.
I really appreciate all of your support, don't know where i would be if I hadn't stumbled upon this page. God is good.
