I met a guy through a friend about a month ago and we started dating. for the first 2 weeks he wanted to see me all the time, called all the time, said how happy he was with me, etc. He was very respectful when it came to intimacy (didn't try to sleep w/ me right away). I wasn't even that in to him at this point, but it seemed like at the exact moment that I did really start to like him, things got weird. actually, ever since my friend told me that he uses drugs..I began questioning him about his use and I guess he got really upset by that. He stopped calling as much and started hanging out with friends more at night. I thought he lost interest but then he called the other day and wanted to get together. I knew from my friend that he was annoyed with me always asking him about drugs so when we hung out I didn't even mention it, however, he came right out and said "by the way I took an Oxycontin tonight..just being honest with you." I didn't even really respond because I didn't want him to get upset again and lose him. I know..pretty stupid reason. He was really into me that night, seemed really lovey, and then of course the next night went out with his friends again. I didn't say anything about it, i went out with my friend and he even called me a few times when he was out. I asked him if he'd come over the next day (yesterday) to help me put a table together for my daughter's train and he said he would in a very upbeat, willing manner. But then he never called me yesterday, even though I tried calling him a few times. I still have not heard from him today either. I don't know if he is just losing feelings for me, or if this is the result of a drug addict..I just need some help with this situation. I just dont understand how someone could be so caring and sincere in the first couple of weeks and then turn into such a jerk. If he wasn't interested then why did he bother to have me over the other night? half the time he doesn't even want sex so I don't think that was it. please please please help me. Do they drug addicts your with suddenly dissapear on you for a day or days at a time without calling or anything? and did this start happening within a few weeks of first dating? He also told me he isn't an addict, and he just does them occasionally..and that he has been doing a lot less since he met me...that's a bunch of crap right?
Honey,
Right now, you aren't too emotionally involoved if you have only been seeing this guy for a month or so. RUN FOR THE HILLS!!! I have a son, who is 20, and is an Oxy addict. If it were him you were dating, I would tell you the same. He is a wonderful, loving, caring man, but the drug takes control of him, and I don't even know him. An addict loves the drug more than anything, including themselves. Oxy is so very powerful. Many Oxy addicts turn to needles and shooting up Herion, because it's cheaper and they need the high so badly. I don't have any experience with much else, except Pot, but I am telling you, get out while you can. He will only hurt you emotionally and economically. My son was in a relationship with a wonderful girl, who finally threw in the towel. He just got out of rehab 2 days ago, and seems to be doing great, but the suspicions will be there forever. The lies he told and things he stole will haunt him and our family forever. I am telling you, try and find someone to care about who can care back.
Cindy
Worried mom is right - RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! I have been with a crack addict for the last 6 years. At first, I had no idea what addiction was or how it could affect my life. This board has been a life saver for me. I didn't even realize until recently how bad of an enabler I was to his addiction. Think of yourself and no one else right now. There is absolutely nothing you can do to help him. Sounds like he is in denial of a problem anyway. Oxy is VERY addictive and hard to get off of from what I hear. If you choose to stay, you are in for a hard life of constant disappointments, having your things pawned, lies, lies, and more lies, and a roller coaster ride of emotions ranging from disappointment to rage to severe depression. Please take the time to read some of the posts on here and you will know what I mean. Take care of yourself and find someone who does not, has not, and never will be addicted to drugs or alcohol!!
Yes listen to everyone who has given some advice to you. I don't know if you've read any of the other posts on here but it is common to pull disappearing acts, they ALL do that. They don't think about you or anyone else while they are high, and he's probably getting high with other addicts as well. He will act like you are his whole world and then in another second, he disappears and he's off doing drugs and you won't hear from him. He'll eventually come crawling back crying and begging for forgiveness. Don't fall for this! You want to know how many times my bf has told me this time will be different and he'll get off the drugs for sure and get help..and I keep getting disappionted! You are lucky you are in the beginning stages of the relationship and don't have much invested into it so I'd say get out now before you get hurt even more.
Hello,
I am the mother of a beautiful 27 year old woman who has married a pothead and has been smoking herself for about 8 years. She was always an emotional kid, with ups and downs, but the person she has become is totally foreign to us, her family. She ruined her younger sister's wedding, (her sister has written her out of her life) calls us names, accuses us of conspiring against her and has emotional outbursts so severe it has ruined our family life. I'm afraid she will do something to herself and dread the telephone ringing. We asked her husband to help her and he hung up on us and told me to "butt out". So that is where we are now - I have butted out of her life and will only see her if she gets some help.
Any advice?
By the way, she graduated 16th in her high school class of 650 - is now in graduate school (almost finished) and holds down two jobs. Tell me something about a marijuana addict. I grew up in the "drug" era, but never liked it. What can I do?
Thanks.
Susanjean
I am the mother of a beautiful 27 year old woman who has married a pothead and has been smoking herself for about 8 years. She was always an emotional kid, with ups and downs, but the person she has become is totally foreign to us, her family. She ruined her younger sister's wedding, (her sister has written her out of her life) calls us names, accuses us of conspiring against her and has emotional outbursts so severe it has ruined our family life. I'm afraid she will do something to herself and dread the telephone ringing. We asked her husband to help her and he hung up on us and told me to "butt out". So that is where we are now - I have butted out of her life and will only see her if she gets some help.
Any advice?
By the way, she graduated 16th in her high school class of 650 - is now in graduate school (almost finished) and holds down two jobs. Tell me something about a marijuana addict. I grew up in the "drug" era, but never liked it. What can I do?
Thanks.
Susanjean