my parents are junkies. they threw me out of the house a year ago for not giving them dope money. i live with my boyfriend and they play me. i don't hear from them for a month then she calls a week before i know she goes to the doctor. tries to butter me up and then flips out if i don't give her any money. which i don't. this has been every month for the last two years. a year ago i finally left bc i was physically ill from the stress all the time, i should of left sooner thats my bad, and i paid for it. i just thought that they could change, every month i heard and still hear how never again it wont happen i swear. this last time, just help me this one time. I refuse i tell them if they want help ill call a rehab but 'they don't need that". In between when they are straight i go home to grab my dog and go & thats my weakness they know they have me by my heart. they know that i want to see him. i try to be in and out but some days they are all nice and want to talk and im not sure if its real or not. Its so hard for me to cut them off i of course want a relationship with my parents. i want to believe that they can change but as of yet that havent and im sick of the speeches they give me, its all lies. it kills me how they can be normal to me when they have junk but when they want more or run out they think im made of money. this last week my mom called hysterical and left a message on my phone, i thought someone died. i really did but she just lost her meds. then my dad went and got his a week later and they went thru them really quick and everytime i went over shes like ohh im so sick, i dont feel good, my back, my shoulder, etc. and of course i dont adknowledge her and leave. But then she starts calling and i lose it. i can't help it anymore how many times do i have to explain to leave me alone dont ask me? then they get mad that im mad at them for asking. They know it bothers me that it makes me sick. but every month they still do it. then my dad texts me "leave US alone" which isn't the first time im hearing about how they are sooo much better off without me. Im sick of the mind games and being treated as subhuman bc i don't give them money for dope. Now hes going about doing anything he can to try and hurt me but wont admit to it. Im tired and i feel trapped and there is so much to this and the simple this is leave them be and its just so hard but i think thats the thing to do now and i just feel immensly hurt. and im trying to work thru it. I just can't handle it anymore
Hi dirtypaws
Welcome to the site. At least here you can talk to people that can relate. Go and search for the support groups in your area that focus on the families/partners of addicts, they would be able to help you cope and get you through this.
It's one thing to hurt your parents or spouse when your an addict but so much worse when your children have to live through it. I'm a recovering addict and working hard at staying clean. I use to think that I wouldn't be fit for a parent even if I was clean for a long time but lately I came to realise that I would be a great parent. Especially with me being clean and I would be able to teach my children of the dangers of drugs.
Keep posting on here, it at least help getting it off your chest. Some people think that talking never helps but it actually help so much. So keep talking.
My heart goes out to you
x
Welcome to the site. At least here you can talk to people that can relate. Go and search for the support groups in your area that focus on the families/partners of addicts, they would be able to help you cope and get you through this.
It's one thing to hurt your parents or spouse when your an addict but so much worse when your children have to live through it. I'm a recovering addict and working hard at staying clean. I use to think that I wouldn't be fit for a parent even if I was clean for a long time but lately I came to realise that I would be a great parent. Especially with me being clean and I would be able to teach my children of the dangers of drugs.
Keep posting on here, it at least help getting it off your chest. Some people think that talking never helps but it actually help so much. So keep talking.
My heart goes out to you
x
