Ok, so 11 days ago i discovered my partner of 7 years and father of my 5 year old son had been smoking heroin for approx 8 months with a habbit of 40 - 60 a day and i was clueless!!
The only reason i found out is because he was arrested for breaking into my best friends house to steal money!
yep to say the least i have kind of had a slightly mental 11 days, head mess or what?
So when he got back from police station he admitted all including drug habbit, i knew he was a user before i met him but he had been clean for 15 years, i didnt see the signs at all.
He has gone cold turkey from that night and is over the worst other than not sleeping, cold turkey was exactly as you see on tv ( my only comparison)
i have said i will support him through this and he has court next week obviously with prison looming!
i have realised who my true friends are over this period and many of them have come up trumps, although there are the ones who have stayed away.
Now i need to try carry on as normal for my kids sake, but all i keep thinking is i didnt know and all the lies etc and the money he owes to people.
i'm not sure how this will pan out long term, can i ever trust him again?
Addiction is a life-long condition. Relapse is a reality. What we choose to do when our addict relapses is an important decision. We need to be honest with ourselves before a relapse occurs and have some idea of a plan of action to protect ourselves. Being fore-warned is being fore-armed. If this means "I don't trust you", think of it as being "I don't trust addiction".
It makes no sense to stew over the "I had no idea he was using" issue. What could you have done anyways? No addict changes unless they truly want to. Loved ones are often the last to realize that a relapse has occurred, because addiction thrives through secrecy. Addicts hide it, and we think all is well until the bottom drops out and we get blind-sided by the consequences.
Your concerns right now need to be you and your child. Regardless of his legal issues, you need to keep your head on straight and do what is best for your family. It is so unfair for an innocent child to have to exist in the drama that drugs cause. He is an adult, and must handle the consequences himself. Your child needs you to provide protection from the harm and drama.
It makes no sense to stew over the "I had no idea he was using" issue. What could you have done anyways? No addict changes unless they truly want to. Loved ones are often the last to realize that a relapse has occurred, because addiction thrives through secrecy. Addicts hide it, and we think all is well until the bottom drops out and we get blind-sided by the consequences.
Your concerns right now need to be you and your child. Regardless of his legal issues, you need to keep your head on straight and do what is best for your family. It is so unfair for an innocent child to have to exist in the drama that drugs cause. He is an adult, and must handle the consequences himself. Your child needs you to provide protection from the harm and drama.
