Hi everyone... I'm hoping you guys can help. My boyfriend of 5 yrs is a heavy pot smoker.... like really heavy. I've tried talking to him about it, but he's always too stoned to listen. He always says he has to quit... but doesn't really want to. His habit affects our relationship constantly. Can you guys tell me if there is an effective course of action here.... you know, like - ignoring it, or keep pushing the quitting idea??? anything would help
mel, try walking away..if it jolts him into action tyen thats great, if it doesn't you will have saved yourself years of pain.
seriously, he has to want it.. you can't do it for him.
seriously, he has to want it.. you can't do it for him.
Run to the hills. Speaking from experience, it doesn't get better, it gets worse. Loneliness will be your shadow if you stay with your bf. You deserve to enjoy your life with someone who is fully present. If you have any self-esteem after five years, you will understand what I'm saying.
There is lots of valuable information on the family/partner board.
There is lots of valuable information on the family/partner board.
I thought my boyfriend would quit, too. But then he started lacing the weed with cocaine. He became violent.
This is no place for you.
This is no place for you.
thanks for all your help :) but I have to ask.... do you know of any stories of couples staying together, and the pot-smoker giving up and everyone lives happily ever after??
Is it really that bad? How does it effect your relationship if you dont mind me asking?
mel, nothing changes if nothing changes.
Yes, there are success stories but they all start with the addict getting help (rather than just talking about getting help).
You can only support an addict's recovery, when they are in recovery.
Right now, you are supporting his addiction by tolerating bad behaviour and accomodating the consequences of his drug abuse.
If he won't make a move, it has to be you that does. Al Anon and Nar Anon meetings can help you find clarity and strategies.
Yes, there are success stories but they all start with the addict getting help (rather than just talking about getting help).
You can only support an addict's recovery, when they are in recovery.
Right now, you are supporting his addiction by tolerating bad behaviour and accomodating the consequences of his drug abuse.
If he won't make a move, it has to be you that does. Al Anon and Nar Anon meetings can help you find clarity and strategies.
Mel, no I don't know any stories like that, but i would love to write one.
My ex-abf, did coke, then he stopped that for 5 months and took up pot..he lied, said he was only smoking one, then I found out different. He was out of it, lazy and in a constant daze...I hated it! It was like living with a zombie.
At one time, b/4 me when he was in his late teens and early 20's he smoked like 8-10 a DAY...then he grew up and started doing coke...20 years later, he was still doing coke.
When we moved into together, the deal was NO DRUGS, he agreed, well, he went from using daily to once every 4-6 weeks, then every 4 months, then 5 months...then I tossed his butt out..he immediately went into rehab, he's still there 5 months later, clean.
All, I can say is, there is no good drug...pot will ruin his health, his lungs will give out...his mind is altered, and on and on it goes.
He won't stop unless he is ready to do so, and, for some they never stop. Yes, there are some people who can live with addicts, I'm not one of them..I want a real person, not a phoney addict.
Just me,
Dolly
At one time, b/4 me when he was in his late teens and early 20's he smoked like 8-10 a DAY...then he grew up and started doing coke...20 years later, he was still doing coke.
When we moved into together, the deal was NO DRUGS, he agreed, well, he went from using daily to once every 4-6 weeks, then every 4 months, then 5 months...then I tossed his butt out..he immediately went into rehab, he's still there 5 months later, clean.
All, I can say is, there is no good drug...pot will ruin his health, his lungs will give out...his mind is altered, and on and on it goes.
He won't stop unless he is ready to do so, and, for some they never stop. Yes, there are some people who can live with addicts, I'm not one of them..I want a real person, not a phoney addict.
Just me,
Dolly
