Hi all, I'm new here. I've been reading the posts and am very happy to see all the support here including input from other addicts, it's so helpful to get the other perspective.
I'm going to try keep this as short as possible.
Been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I knew he had had problems with prior drug use, leading to jail and then parole. But he seemed a good guy getting his life on track, we met thru mutual friends and honestly I thought it was just going to be a fling, but we fell in love, I introduced him to my kid after 3 months and ultimately we moved in together earlier this year.
Basically after seeing some incriminating messages in the summer, it turns out he was doing pills again, he promised he would stop, blah blah, you guys know how that went.
Of course he would follow the same path as before, I caught him with a needle and that was it things went downhill fast, told him he had to leave, past couple of weeks he hasn't been in the house very much, I knew it was transitioning. The last week was particularly bad, he went to the store and came back high after 40 minutes. I threw his phone down the toilet and things just got extremely violent and he left.
He had been staying at a very shady motel and basically someone OD d and died there and he was being questioned by the cops as were other guests. The stupid idiot said he had to go as he had to get my kid off the bus (a lie). Red flag for the cops. They called me and said they suspected he was high, I assured them he wasn't in charge of my child in any way but then CPS came to my house anyway. I could kill him. I think it went OK, my house was spotless, I don't do drugs at all and I think that was evident and plus my kid said it was just us that lived there which is true coz he hasn't been around and I told my kid that he wouldn't be living with us anymore.
Anyway, with the help of his family he's gone to detox, thank God. He knows it's the end of the road now, it's death or jail as he's lost everything else.
I need to put thus behind me and move on but I am grieving for the man I know he can be, the man I met. I go through pointless thought processes of 'if onlys'.
I know it's over, my child means more to me then any man but I just need some support from people who have been through this. Thanks guys. I'm just so sad.
You are on the right path and doing the right thing! Yes--your child is the most important thing and I am so glad you are protecting your kid! A life with this man would not only be detrimental to your child ,but to you!
My son is a 45 year old addict and has been for a long time. I have had calls from women with kids that my son has had relationships with. They claim he sold their belongings and even their kids stuff, beds, toys, bikes,etc. One woman said she had very little, but saved her money to get her 13 y/o a playstation for Christmas. Well, my son took it and pawned it for drugs! She also professed her love for my son ,but couldn't believe he would do that. Well-- reality check girl! Yes, they will resort to anything and anyway to get money for their next fix.
All of this is so sad to me and you as well, but you cannot change him or make him become the man you used to know. Only he can change! Keep moving forward and don't look back! You are a good mom and you are protecting your child like good moms do! Don't let him screw it up for you cause he will.
Prayers and hugs for you and your child--Lori
My son is a 45 year old addict and has been for a long time. I have had calls from women with kids that my son has had relationships with. They claim he sold their belongings and even their kids stuff, beds, toys, bikes,etc. One woman said she had very little, but saved her money to get her 13 y/o a playstation for Christmas. Well, my son took it and pawned it for drugs! She also professed her love for my son ,but couldn't believe he would do that. Well-- reality check girl! Yes, they will resort to anything and anyway to get money for their next fix.
All of this is so sad to me and you as well, but you cannot change him or make him become the man you used to know. Only he can change! Keep moving forward and don't look back! You are a good mom and you are protecting your child like good moms do! Don't let him screw it up for you cause he will.
Prayers and hugs for you and your child--Lori
