I know it's been a long time since i've posted but alot of things have come up latley.My mother told me that my brother was off the opiates so i tried comming back home to live cause when he was using it was too much temptation for me.
Well i was surprised to see how good he was doing and we were spending alot of time together and he was like a totaly diffrent person.
Well last week my house was raided by DEA and they had a warrent for mine and my brothers arrest.
I have over 6 months clean now and the evedience is from years ago. max time is 20 years and a million dollar fine not like he'll ever get that much but it just make me wonder why we can change our lives but stuff from the past has to come back when we can be doing good
I know this is a test in every sense of the word i know i can handle it because i no longer have a desire to use but i am worried about my brother he's in more trouble than me and i dont know if he is strong enough
I could use some advise now more than ever my mind is allways racing
Hey Mia I dont know if we have talked very much but I just wanted to say that i understand how u feel. U are doing the right thing by seeking support right now though. I totally feel ya on this one , I have my own wreckage that i have to clear up but the one thing that will make a difference is if your brother has proof when he goes to court that he is and has been in recovery . It wll make a significent difference in what happens to you and your brother when you go in front of a judge . Personaly I am "collecting" all my clean drug screens and although I am not required to go to meetings and have proof of my attendance I do it anyway so that if something comes up from my past I have proof that I had to get the hell out of dodge so that I could save my life and change . This is no time to start rucking up !!!! you have most likely got alot of people that will go to court w/ the both of you that will vouch for you that you have been working hard at recovery and something is better than going in front o a judge strung out and scared of going thru w/ds in jail . Ya know . Please try to help your ownself first though . You cannot be responsible for your brothers recovery you know that but you can tell him the truth and that is that his chances are much much better if he is sober that is just how it is .
It sucks that we dont think about the consequences of our addictionwhen we are in active addiction it really really sucks and it also sucks that our recovery doesnt void out our active addiction but we can know beyond a shadow of a doubt tha if we deal w/ the wreckage of our past w/out stepping back into our past that our odds are much better and we have the choice to make it a real learning experience this time . We dont ever have to pay these high costs of low living ever again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That sometimes brings me comfort . I am having a terrible time just trying to find a stable job because of all the felonies on my record and it sucks because I am still very young and have my whole life in front of me and my daughters if I chose to stay sober ,I hope that some of this will comfort you but really all we can do is continue to work on our recovery and do our very best everyday . Go about your business and try as hard as you can to resist those terrible urges that try to creep in and start praying !!!!!! Take a leap of faith what do you really have to lose??? I hope that this will give you a moment od comfort just know that I feel your pain !!! I have been in your exact situation and i have served time in prison and I still didnt learn a lesson so therefore I chose for me and my family to paythat price many times over and I hope and pray that God gives me the strength to make it this time , i am tred ofwasting my time here on this Earth. i am sick of losing all that is dear to me and haviong to be told when i can use the bathroom and sleep and shower and not be able to chose what I want to eat . It SUCKS but you never have to do this EVER EVER again !!!! Please continue to have faith and stay in recovery . I promise you , you will come out on the other side much wiser and confidet in reocvery if you dont give in to ANY temptations ... we all know that one is too many and 1,000 is never enough . So if we use we still come down to the same ole bullchit !!!I will be glad to help you thru this in anyway even if it is only to talk . My computer is kinda actually veryscrewed at the moment but I do and will try to get on the board as often as I can and thatis every couple of days right now , I would be glad to give you my email addy if you just need someone to talk to ... am with u in spirit!!! Love ya and hang on real tight !!! cris
It sucks that we dont think about the consequences of our addictionwhen we are in active addiction it really really sucks and it also sucks that our recovery doesnt void out our active addiction but we can know beyond a shadow of a doubt tha if we deal w/ the wreckage of our past w/out stepping back into our past that our odds are much better and we have the choice to make it a real learning experience this time . We dont ever have to pay these high costs of low living ever again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That sometimes brings me comfort . I am having a terrible time just trying to find a stable job because of all the felonies on my record and it sucks because I am still very young and have my whole life in front of me and my daughters if I chose to stay sober ,I hope that some of this will comfort you but really all we can do is continue to work on our recovery and do our very best everyday . Go about your business and try as hard as you can to resist those terrible urges that try to creep in and start praying !!!!!! Take a leap of faith what do you really have to lose??? I hope that this will give you a moment od comfort just know that I feel your pain !!! I have been in your exact situation and i have served time in prison and I still didnt learn a lesson so therefore I chose for me and my family to paythat price many times over and I hope and pray that God gives me the strength to make it this time , i am tred ofwasting my time here on this Earth. i am sick of losing all that is dear to me and haviong to be told when i can use the bathroom and sleep and shower and not be able to chose what I want to eat . It SUCKS but you never have to do this EVER EVER again !!!! Please continue to have faith and stay in recovery . I promise you , you will come out on the other side much wiser and confidet in reocvery if you dont give in to ANY temptations ... we all know that one is too many and 1,000 is never enough . So if we use we still come down to the same ole bullchit !!!I will be glad to help you thru this in anyway even if it is only to talk . My computer is kinda actually veryscrewed at the moment but I do and will try to get on the board as often as I can and thatis every couple of days right now , I would be glad to give you my email addy if you just need someone to talk to ... am with u in spirit!!! Love ya and hang on real tight !!! cris
Thanks Chris, I know i'll be ok probation could be a good thing for me. Right now i just feel so stupid for having so much faith in my brother and standing up for him because yesterday i was leaving to get my hair done and i needed some money i let my brother barrow back and he told me that he paid his car payment so he didnt have it but a friend owed him and he was on his way over to give it to him.
And i thought that story was a little unbelievable but i didnt really think that he would be so stupid to sell drugs while he's facing 20 years!
Well i walked downstairs and seen my bother handing this guy oxycotins in my living room.then he walked up to me and handed me the money he owed me, I just got out of the house as fast as i could i was so pissed!!
I know telling my mother would not be a good idea cause she will just flip out and he will definetly not stop probably just the oppisite.
He's allways never been satisfied and allways wants more he loves easy money.
But i know i could not sell and not use thats what worries me more than likely he is using and i went through alot more in my addiction than he did and i was hoping he didnt have to experience all that i did before recovery. Well thanks for listing i dont get on here alot latley but i will try to get back on a little later.
And i thought that story was a little unbelievable but i didnt really think that he would be so stupid to sell drugs while he's facing 20 years!
Well i walked downstairs and seen my bother handing this guy oxycotins in my living room.then he walked up to me and handed me the money he owed me, I just got out of the house as fast as i could i was so pissed!!
I know telling my mother would not be a good idea cause she will just flip out and he will definetly not stop probably just the oppisite.
He's allways never been satisfied and allways wants more he loves easy money.
But i know i could not sell and not use thats what worries me more than likely he is using and i went through alot more in my addiction than he did and i was hoping he didnt have to experience all that i did before recovery. Well thanks for listing i dont get on here alot latley but i will try to get back on a little later.
Hey Mia,
Haven't been posting alot either.....wow now that sucks.....you've always been so honest about the temptation, and going home.....there has to be something at work here....I mean for a reason.....ya know.
My girlfriend has a similar situation.....only it's her kid.....she's been clean now a year and over six months......the son was in jail....not prison thank heavens, but long enough to get a taste of having his a*s kicked or otherwise...ya know.
The kids home, and he's swearing...meetings, and all he's clean.....no urines.
Is that nuts....anyway he's itching, and a scratching....people knocking on the door all hours....still she wants to believe him.....it's her son, and she trusts him.
But she knows ya know....if there are any drugs in her house....she'll be locked up as she also is on probation....actually almost done, and I'm proud of her, and she's working her butt off, and helping other people as well....now this.
Not to mention....a brick through her window....so something is up.
Mia, you are not alone....I don't know how the law part works because AMEN I never was in that mess....and I mean AMEN.....but you've come so far, and you've proved it to yourself....I am so sorry you can't live at home without all that going on.....I just wanted to add support with the Ctinker....I love that helmet headed girl....LOL....stay tough, Mia...you deserve only good things.
Haven't been posting alot either.....wow now that sucks.....you've always been so honest about the temptation, and going home.....there has to be something at work here....I mean for a reason.....ya know.
My girlfriend has a similar situation.....only it's her kid.....she's been clean now a year and over six months......the son was in jail....not prison thank heavens, but long enough to get a taste of having his a*s kicked or otherwise...ya know.
The kids home, and he's swearing...meetings, and all he's clean.....no urines.
Is that nuts....anyway he's itching, and a scratching....people knocking on the door all hours....still she wants to believe him.....it's her son, and she trusts him.
But she knows ya know....if there are any drugs in her house....she'll be locked up as she also is on probation....actually almost done, and I'm proud of her, and she's working her butt off, and helping other people as well....now this.
Not to mention....a brick through her window....so something is up.
Mia, you are not alone....I don't know how the law part works because AMEN I never was in that mess....and I mean AMEN.....but you've come so far, and you've proved it to yourself....I am so sorry you can't live at home without all that going on.....I just wanted to add support with the Ctinker....I love that helmet headed girl....LOL....stay tough, Mia...you deserve only good things.
hey mia........
the person whom introduced me to heroin is going thru it with her brother too. he is wanted in 6 states for theft crimes. she on the other hand has skated by but turned her friends on to the smack. i am almost 4 days. i havent been shooting long, but i am definatly wanting, and hating this right now. i am being strong thru support like this. i wish u luck. i alm also living in ny. far from u. close to nyc. my town has a lot of heroin in it. its very easy to score. ive locked myself in my house and will be venturing out for the first time in 3 days. i feel good. as long as i keep away from temptations. (friends, certain streets...u know.) i hope that u end up alrite. i am not much older than u. u are so young and have such a life to live. u need to chat.....just email me. melissa
the person whom introduced me to heroin is going thru it with her brother too. he is wanted in 6 states for theft crimes. she on the other hand has skated by but turned her friends on to the smack. i am almost 4 days. i havent been shooting long, but i am definatly wanting, and hating this right now. i am being strong thru support like this. i wish u luck. i alm also living in ny. far from u. close to nyc. my town has a lot of heroin in it. its very easy to score. ive locked myself in my house and will be venturing out for the first time in 3 days. i feel good. as long as i keep away from temptations. (friends, certain streets...u know.) i hope that u end up alrite. i am not much older than u. u are so young and have such a life to live. u need to chat.....just email me. melissa
