Please Answer Or Try To Help

Does anyone know the signs of a nervous breakdown?Family issues are getting really bad & though I have depression what Ive been feeling is so much more than that.
Please if anyone knows the signs let me know.I have a 15 yr old that needs her mama to be ok
MJ/Sabrina
Call your shrink, Sabrina. No one here can diagnose you. We are just a bunch of addicts.
MJ/Sabrina,

I don't know the signs of a nervous breakdown - I would imagine that it is being not able to function, feeling anxious, being in a panic mode.

Try some deep, deep breathing--focus on your breaths ( I am trying to remember what Gina says ). Breathe in to a count of four, hold to a count of four, let out to a count of four and rest for a count of four.

Call someone.
Sabrina, I've given you advice. If you think you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown do something about it. You can only be a victim if you allow it.

Call a therapist, go to a meeting, do something. Sitting there letting it eat at you is the worst thing you can do.
My meeting is tonight THANK GOD...I skiped last night...I dont want to blame my own daughter but since shes moved in its nothing but fighting.Everyday...Im told to Shut the F up called a stupid B ETC & I was told this morning from my sister-landlord..I MUST keep my mouth shut.
To me (like yesterday)I woke up & the thought of going through another day....I just started crying.
Last night I had one of those real life nightmares(dreaming of something Ive been through)
I just dont want to fight with her.Like with me & Anne we will fight but an hour later we will try to talk it out.amanda yells all the time.
Im probaly going to get help with this.Im not a wimp but when you own daughter says cruel things EVERYDAY...it tends to wear you down.
I feel as if I lost my home.

Thank you for letting me vent.

Janet yes I took what you wrote but I really think if you actually were a fly on the wall here,youd never believe what I go through...And I just dont understand why???
If one of my sons talked to me inappropriately every day you can believe I would not be speaking to him until he learned some respect. If you are having screaming matches with her daily maybe it's time to back off. Let her learn from her own mistakes, Sabrina. You can't live her life for her. What step are you on, btw?
Sabrina, if your sister wants to side with your daughter all the time, then let HER have her live with her. Simple as that.

I have to go bring Dylan to the ENT dr and then runn my errands.

Y'all have a good day!
Kat the other day I went to Di(my meeting friend)& just cried & cried.She didnt say anything just let me vent.BUT shes dragging me to a meeting tonight because I missed it last night.I want to use so bad...but Im not dum...it wont help/
As far as Amanda living with my sister...she has lived with her,my mother,& a couple of her friends & EVERYTIME she is so disrespectful they kick her out.
Im almost to the point of seeing if her father(the abuser will take her)
I know Ill get through this...I have to.I have Anne & she makes me realize that though Ive made mistakes....Im not THAT bad of a mom.
Well thank you for your inputr.I keep wondering if I should check into the "nut"ward but again why should I leave my own home & anne....
thanks again...Damn it I know Im stronger than this & I KNOW & HAVE to beluieve it will get better
MJ/Sabrina
I agree with the others on here....call your therapist or if you start having thoughts of suicide or other bizarre thoughts, call the suicide prevention hotline (800)SUICIDE or (800)273-TALK. www.hopeline.com

Ummm, she's 18 and from what I've gathered through the last year, she wasn't living at home and recently moved back in?

Tell her to pack her sh*t & to go...it can be that simple if you let it....

QUOTE
And I just dont understand why???
From my personal experiences, I've realized over the last year that my children have learned a lot of their behaviors from me, both good and the bad...People treat us they way we teach them to treat us. I don't know you Sabrina but from all you've ever wrote that I've read, you have one daughter that is the good girl and you're older daughter which is constantly making mistakes....maybe you're expectations from her are too high? Maybe she reminds you of you? Maybe she's just an angry and hurt person that wants to make everybody else miserable too?

You can dissect it to death but if you let it be simple, she's out of control in your home, she's an adult so you can ask her or tell her to leave.

This is all said respectfully too...I'm not judging nor critizing as I am still cleaning up the wreakage I've created with all the dysfunction in my family...

Take care,
Stacey

Oh I know & I dont not 1 of you are trying to be hurtful at all.Ive asked her to leave more than once & she has no money(as she JUST started to work)& she says she cant.Besides my sister (landlord)told me this morning I CANNOT kick her out or else we all have to leave,
Honest I use to be a very angry person but Ive changed & grown as we all do.Amanda is ALOT like her dad,NEVER excepts blame,always putting others down etc.
I had my own mom tell me (& yes Amanda lived with her too at one trime & broke up HER marrage)that Amandas so damaged that she doesnt think shell ever be right.
Im sure I compare both girls as Anne has a politeness as far as saying ...May or sending "thank You"cards etc.See Amanda moved in with my mom when she was 14.Ive basically raised Anne myself & as Ive said I know Im not always right but Im ALWAYS willing to try & talk it out.Where Amanda just yells.
Chances are Im going to call some therapist for myself because....tes Ill be honest I think about dying everyday ...Theres only so much pain & hurt I can take.I can honestly say if it wasnt for Annne I probaly would of done it already,,,,but I JUST cannot leave her.She helps me realize Im not all that bad.
Maybe suggest to Amanda that she see a therapist...and I don't believe that she is too damaged to change. Try praying for her and ask God to help her with her pain as her actions sure demonstrate a lot of pain...try praying and treating her like another suffering addict and ultimately, you are responsible for your actions/reactions and I found for me when I quit reacting to situations, when I no longer let situations become a big deal and let things work themselves out, life got much easier for me....

Take care,
Stacey
When she lived with my mom she was in therapy & on BiPolar meds but as soon as the therapist tried to tell her her way of treating people was wrong she stopped.
Do I think she needs it?Hell she probaly more than me.At least Im doing meetings & trying so hard to live right.But it does hurt that 4 weeks ago I had a home & now its just a place to live.Ive worked so hard building a home & to have some 19 year old take it ...its wrong.
Ya ever get to the point where theres so many problems comming at once & your befuddled?Thats where Im at.I know I must take 1 problem at a time & deal...but it feels so hard.
Im not looking for pity...just a place to release all these feelings & I thank you all for listening.Also for your input.
As I said Im strong & I will get us through this & become strong.What scares me is that it took years to take down those hard walls & allow myself to be soft,& caring & now it feels as if I nust get hard again...& thats not who I am anylonger
Brina
Let's look at the facts...your daughter is a little b****. That's on her. It is not your fault or anyone else's fault. It is how she chooses to act. If she was an acquaintance (sp) you would not put up with being talked to like that. Maybe it's time for a little tough love. What do you mean your house is not your home any more? Email me. My memory is shot. I remember something about you having to move I think but I'm not sure.
Briana........You are not having a nervous breakdown.You wouldn't have much cognitive skills together to even write complete thoughts.I don't know anything about your daughter but she does sound like a spoiled prima donna.Maybe you should quit trying to be her best friend and start exerting some discipline?
No one should say those hateful things to you.You certainly should not keep your mouth shut. You've learned to take care of yourself on here and show some spunk now do it at home.

I don't know how old she is but if she can cuss like a sailor she's old enough to get a job and help pay rent.
Good Luck girl.

Edit* I just saw that she was 19.......Please.......She's an adult and that bi=polar bullsh#t gets real old in my book.Everybody and their mother has it and it comes in real convenient when you want to act like an a******.
I think I will run and tell the lady I'm working for today that I think she's a spoiled b*tch.I can call her tomorrow and tell her I was having a manic episode.
I think all parents at one time or another have thought they were having a nervous breakdown because of thier kids...it's called parenting. At what point are you the parent and she the child? If she's old enough, kick her a** out and let her live in the real world. We can love them but we can't fix them. But I'll tell you what, if any of my boys talked to me in that tone of voice, they'ld be dead. I don't allow it. Period.
Please know everyword your saying...deep in my heart I realize.Im a good person & NOBODY deserves what Ive been living with for 4 weeks now.
Heres the issues...First Amanda has already lived with my mom (broke her marrage up)Shes lived with my sister/landlord in the down stairs apartment,& shes lived in 2 other places.Because of how she acts shes been thrown out of ALL place(after causing alot of heartache)
She JUST finally got a job 2 weeks ago after almost 18 mths without working.Keep in mind my freaking 15 yr old wants to try & get a job a McDonalds(yes I do compare as see as Ive said Amanda moved in with my mom at 14.Maybe my mom overdid trying to fix my mistakes?Gave Amanda whatever,never made her do chores,handed her $$$ While Anne has been here struggling with me so she realizes to get ANYTHING in this life she will have to work.Whether its chores here (which she even helps cook)Manda can only make soup!!.Second of all Im in a very hard spot as far as where I live.I rent an apt off my sister & the rent is cheap.Im ashamed to admit as of right now I just do NOT have the $$$ to move.Anyways,my sister/landlord told me flat out if I kick Amanda out (which even she did)Me Mikey & Anne would also have to leave.
I know I shouldnt care but truthfully I would NEVER feel right about putting my daughter out on the streets.It was done to me but I worked my butt off just to have a place to live & be able to eat.

Tim what I mean about the "home part"is simply this.Mikey & I have been together for 9 years.We've worked very hard with Anne building a family unit...a home.Not just where we live but a home.Since Amanda has started all this(Id say the past 3 wks have been the worse)I no longer feel that safe,warm home feeling here.
Lisa believe me NOTHING would make me happier to simply "backhand"her.Id NEVER dream of speaking to my mom that way & her & I arent even close.Its just a matter of respect.Dont get me wrong Anne & I also spat but with us an hour later one of us will ALWAYS try to talk it out with the other.Anyways,it goes back to my sister,throwing us out /and or calling the police for hitting her.
To some this may all sound like some pity pot but truthfully its just how things are.
I just need to be strong.I did tell Amanda today that she MUST start saving up $$ for her own place,,,even if its just a motel room/I have to square off my shoulders & be tuff as I walk this line as its not fair to any of us to have to live like this.Im 40 yrs old & I really just want to embrace recoverym& enjoy life.
Well Ill check in in the morning.
Again I DO realize that everything everyone is saying is comming from a place of concern & caring & I do thank you all for that
Have a Goos night all
MJ/Sabrina
Brina...Do you like your oldest daughter?

I've watched you over the years say nothing but negative bad things about her, while you go on and on about your other child being so perfect....do you see the trend here? Maybe this girl feels that? Maybe she feels you favoring one over the other?

It's hard to not be pissed when a kid acts out, but she's acting out for a reason. Sometimes tough love is the answer and if she's over 18 then you can and should set her on her way, and it can be done with love and support. We had to do that with my oldest and he turned out pretty awesome.
MJ, I really think your sister is bluffing. Let her go through all the legal paperwork it takes to kick you out. I'll bet she doesn't do it. Stand up to her and tell her that if she is so damn worried about your daughter she can take her in. Are you being fair to Anne? Heck no. Why should she have to suffer because your ADULT daughter is tearing the household up? Kick the girl out. I agree, it's time for tough love. When Amanda sees that she can't get away with this crap maybe she'll straighten out. Maybe not. It's not on you. You did what you could for her, time to let go. Even still, I would NOT let this kid stay in my house, make ME drive her to and from work, without giving you a dime for gas, eat your food and run up your electric and gas bill. It's time for this chickie to get out in the real world.

Sabrina, you are allowing this kid to victimize you. Only you can stop it.

Lisa, I agree with you, it does not seem like Sabrina really likes the person her older daughter has become. Do you do the comparison thing? I know I have to really watch myself when it comes to comparing my kids.
Lisa I need to be honest with this.I even told Amanda this...I love her,I always have & always will.But I just do not like the type of person she is.If she was a stranger I would not like the way she behaves.
Id never tell her that Yes she reminds me alot of her dad.Not that Im perfect,,,,far from it,but her dad always blamed others for his mistakes,always was abusive etc.
After she moved in this time I can honestly say I tried so very hard to show her soft love.Cuddles,waking her up sweetly,treating her alike like I do Anne.
I accept my blame in this whole thing,but Amanda is happy pinning all the blame on me without realizing it takes 2 to fight.

I must sign off for now as Mikey just pulled in so I must do & be ok for everyones sake.
I do thank you all for allowing me to get this out.Also for all your input.
Ill check in in the morning.I have a meeting to get to in about 1 1/2 hours so
Love to all MJ/Sabrina
I dont' compare my kids Janet. I love them each differently and seprately. You can't compare apples to oranges. Each child is so different and mine are like night and day. I get different things from each of them.

Brina...if you continue to let her do this, then it's your fault and you have no one to blame. If you don't stand up to her, she will continue to abuse you because she knows she can. I used to blame my mother for everything that went wrong in my life and it took until I was 30 to apologize to her and take responsiblity for my own actions. Some just take longer than others. But my parents did me a favor by letting me make mistakes and not putting up with my bulls***. It's up to you, ball's in your court.