Please Give Me Some Advice...

Pain Pills
1
Hi everyone,
I have posted a few times..r/t preganant and using. my last post I did state that I had stopped using and am still clean going on three weeks..i just need some advice..I think I am more embarrassed than anything. I have a history of having an ulcer and have been getting Endoscopy's performed about every two months for the past year and a half....well...i suffer from pain in my stomach on a daily basis and it affects my daily activities for the most part my mood..and I called my endo dr. today and scheduled another endo and told them I didn't want the demerol..which what they normally give is versed and demerol. I didn't tell them why, but asked for an alternative and that was fentanyl and versed. I feel embarrasssed about this disease of addiction and feel other nurses and Dr will just say i am drug seeking or what not. Anyway, my husband goes behind my back and calls the endo dr. and tells the nurse that i am sn opiod addict and it's very important that I don't get an opiod including the fentanyl..the nurse right away asked if I was drug seeking..so now that is in their heads..they said they can just spray the back of my throat and do it that way, but I will not go through an endo that way it is horrible..the nurse did say that people with addictions can get the fentanyl due to the short half life of the drug or what not and it won't hurt, but now how do I face the nurses and the Dr. tommorow..I'm so ashamed.
Please give me some advice. Sorry so long.
Michelle
2
Just think of it as part of dealing with your recovery. Trust me - they have probably come across this way more than you think. You are not the first and sadly enough, you will not be the last. They will have a lot more respect for you if you are honest with them and let them know that you are trying to do something about your addiction. Honesty is part of recovery. And just remember, they are doctors and nurses. This is nothing new to them and they are there to help you.
They are not there to judge you and if they do, then they have their own issues. You should be proud of yourself for overcoming this and taking all the right and necessary steps to do so. Don't let anybody take that away from you.
Good luck and take care,
Mickey
3
Michelle- my experience with fentanyl is that it's BAADDD. I wouldn't use it again. It's supposed to be for terminal patients. I had one on for two weeks and I sure felt it coming off. That was many months ago.
4
I have had my throat scoped before also had surgery because I get scar tissue built up in there,There must be some other way to help yourself.Fentanal is pretty potent,I understand your embaressment but your husband was probaly really concerned.Can you talk to your Dr and see what other options are open to you.....mj
5
Never be ashamed. You are no lesser than any one, including doctors and nurses. We are all people, all unique, all worthwhile. In my opinion the strongest people are the ones right here.....who can openly stand up and admit their faults......I know alot who could or would never consider such a thing. It is sad that someone went behind your back, I assume with good intentions, however those who consider this don't know the consequences they may bring about with their good intentions. Just keep your chin up, endure what you have to, don't worry what people think, be yourself and be proud. It sounds to me like you have accomplished an awful lot ........a lot to be damn proud of........so be proud and ignore that label you got tagged with.....it's a horrible thing.....but life leaves us little choice but make the best of what fate brings our way.
lotsa love
me
6
I aggree with everyone, dont be asshamed, hey you stopped the pills because your pregnant, THATS WOUNDERFULL HUN!! i am so proud of you... look everyone is correct they have came across this many, many times, just go and keep your head up and keep smiling, dont worry about what anyone says after all your an addict, yes, but your NOT using, thats so great! you see when i was pregnant w/my twins i was put on Methadone because i was on like 30 vics a day, thats horrible let me tell you, so see there are people that are expecting a child and can not or wont quit, so be proud of your self, i am, we all are! take care sweetie and keep us posted, mitzy
7
Congratulations on your 3 weeks! I've had a colonoscopy while not using, they gave me fentanyl, I went out like a light and woke up in the recovery room -- almost no 'after effect,' maybe a little groggy. It wasn't in my control, it didn't feel "good," and there were no meds to go home with. I viewed it as very low risk, certainly not a "slip." And I'm not alone in that view, from what I've heard in the rooms. Just my experience. M.
8
Don't be ashamed..I hate that drug seeking thing...isn't it funny how once your husband alerted them out of concern, it changes?
I agree with Dog...completely...
Congrats on the pregnancy! If you give your pain receptors time, you may not even have to use anything..it is still soon, so give your body more time to fix itself..
Kerry
9
i hate when drs know, even though everyone says ur suppsed to tell them my dr is pretty cool, but if its a hospitol or someone u dont see often u geet that "junkie" feeling. i know ur husband had good intentions and must love u a lot to do that, but my wife knows better. the fact that u had the honesty to tell them not to give u demoral should have been good enuf. dont worry about what they say, u might even want to take the offensive by telling them"Look, if i was drug seeking i wouldn't have told u not to give me demoral, so quit treating me like i'm a junkie trying to score" Dont be intimidated by the dr or nurse. I can almost guarantee they will back off and get apoligtic. its kind of a sales trick, 1 step at a time. u can take control & have fun watching how their emotions and reactions change. make a game of it.
10
i don't believe that anyone is asking us to be a martyr when it comes to surgical procedures or injuries - just because we are in recovery. i couldn't imagine going through an UGI endoscopy with just having the back of my throat sprayed with a numbing agent. however, that's just me.

"broadway none" has razzle dazzled me again with his very good point about the fentanyl not being in your control and it's a one shot pop. you will not be discharged with it and let's hope, not conscious when under the effects of it. i'm reminded that i always need to check my motivations when situations such as this arise.

do you have an addictionologist who you can discuss this with? an addictionolgist (usually psychiatrist with a sub-specialty in addiction medicine) could talk with your g.i. physician and come up with a plan for the medication you may require while this procedure is being done. also, do you have a sponsor who can be there for you before and after this procedure? can you step up the meetings you are attending and reach out for support from others who are in recovery during this difficult time?

the first principle in the first step of 12 step recovery deals with honesty. it was imperative for me to be as honest with myself and others if i was going to continue on this path. when i held on to my reservations and put my trust in my own thinking/control, i missed a lot.

i stand back in awe of the Power that enabled you with courage to write about this situation here. if you quiet your mind - go back within - and tap on that courage, i think you will find more; more courage to do the next right thing. as addicts, our bodies don't know the difference when we take mood altering meds for "legit" reasons or when we take them just to escape or get high. surround yourself with all the positive help you can get. it's yours for the asking.

much love and encouragement to you -

sammy
11
5 years ago I had to have a colonoscapy cause my mom had colon cancer, when I went to see the Dr. I told him I wanted to be knocked out as I didnt want to be awake with something up My bottom . Dr. was the type who wore a bow tie if that tells you anything. Got to hospital and into room and told nurse the dr said I would be knocked out , she then proceded to say to the other nurse in a sarcastic way " Oh he wants to be knocked out " she must have said this about 4 times before the Dr came in then a couple more to the Dr. I was very pissed by her insinuation that was obvious. Believe me I could have knocked myself out before I got there If I was interested in getting high. I just didnt want to be awake for this procedure. anyway the nurse had made up the versed and demerol and laid it on my chest and turned around, since she had already piss-- me off and I didnt trust her I pushed the plunger half way down and was awake just long enough to see the look on her face when she turned around. So after I woke up She said I couldnt leave until I passed some wind( Im in the medical field and understood why) but I said forget about it Im out of here and left. Im not sure what my point was but Felt it was totally unnessasayr for her to openly insinuate that I was wanting to be asleep because I was seeking drugs. Im sure most people who arent addicts request the same thing especially men. Anyway Posting to long already. I had a endoscopy some years ago and was given meds to knock me out with no hassel from Dr. If At any time I felt the Dr. wasnt going to nock me out for the colonoscopy I would have taken my money elswhere. Best Ray. I have to do another one this year and will go to another hospital
12


Ramon,,,,,,,,,my husband has had 3 of those procedures and they put him out completely each time. Good grief! Who wouldn't? You just got stuck with a b**** that day!
13
Ray, I had one too. They put me out, thank god.