Right....he is still using gear but the problem now is he aint working. He has sold rather allot of his things and has never asked me for money, well once or twice but I have always got it back off him. Right do heres the thing...the last 3 days I have had to "lend" him money to get stuff. Bearing in mind I bought all the shopping and am basically suporting my daughter, him and myself. I just cant afford it. It aint my habbit so why should I pay for it. The thing is he takes such a hissy fit and goes on and on and on at me and if I say know he goes into a majour mood and I give in for an easy life. Think is it was 25.00 one day, 30 the next and another 30.00 today...I just cant afford it and cant go on like this but I cant SAY NO!! HELP
Lynds why cant you say no?what yer in is just a vicious circle as long as you give him the money he gonna continue having the easy life ...hes like a child that knows as long as he bawls and crys hes eventually gonna get what he needs...the money to continue his habit ...in my opionion hes leeching off you which is very low..he can work so why cant he go get a job sorted and support his own habit?by you giving him the money hes never gonna realise that his addiction is destroying you and himself.
Take care..Lynds.........Davey
Take care..Lynds.........Davey
You know the advice already "don't do it". You know this is unhealthy to expose you and a child to a addicted father with no job. You just like him are choosing the way you live. That's not said to be mean or crass. I've been a addict i've lived with loved a addict my family has many addicts. At the end of the day it's a CHOICE to use. A choice your making to accept it and give him money. If this was unacceptable to you it would stop. When it's unacceptable to him he'll stop. No matter what he dose you have to make good choices for yourself. Giving any addict money that will buy dope is not a good choice "YOU KNOW THIS". Yes, i know it's easier said then done you love him. Saying "don't love him to death".
Thanks for advise. I say no over and over again. Seeing him ill hurts me but also seeing him high makes me hate him. I dont want this life, far from it I just cant seem to find an easy way out. I mean I know it aint going to be easy but its couldnt be much harder if I tried. He gets very aggressive when he cant get his own way.
I would rather him just leave me alone and get on with his own life somewhere else if its gonna be like this but I cant even get him to leave. You know I believe him when he tells me he wants to get off but at the same time I see the same circle everyday and I dont like it.
I have told him I am selling his ps2 to make the money back what he owes me and I have also sold his jacket. He is a bully and thats how he gets his own way and he knows it.
He came back trying to act all sorry and that he shouldnt of took the money but he knew what he was doing and I hate him for it.
I love this man and would love nothing more than to have a happy future together but I am being realistic and thinking it aint gonna work while he is still fooling himself that he is going to kick this habit and we can be happy.
I think it may take for him to loose me for him to realise even though he says he already knows. He tells me I am his life and he has loved me like no other but I aways tell him if you loved me so much you would try hard to do this one thing for me. Hell I know it aint easy. I have seen him go through cold turkey, lie, steal etc etc. What makes me mad is I know he can do it but I just know whether he will.
I know I choose to put up with this life but I just dont know any other way!
Lynds xx
I would rather him just leave me alone and get on with his own life somewhere else if its gonna be like this but I cant even get him to leave. You know I believe him when he tells me he wants to get off but at the same time I see the same circle everyday and I dont like it.
I have told him I am selling his ps2 to make the money back what he owes me and I have also sold his jacket. He is a bully and thats how he gets his own way and he knows it.
He came back trying to act all sorry and that he shouldnt of took the money but he knew what he was doing and I hate him for it.
I love this man and would love nothing more than to have a happy future together but I am being realistic and thinking it aint gonna work while he is still fooling himself that he is going to kick this habit and we can be happy.
I think it may take for him to loose me for him to realise even though he says he already knows. He tells me I am his life and he has loved me like no other but I aways tell him if you loved me so much you would try hard to do this one thing for me. Hell I know it aint easy. I have seen him go through cold turkey, lie, steal etc etc. What makes me mad is I know he can do it but I just know whether he will.
I know I choose to put up with this life but I just dont know any other way!
Lynds xx
I don't want to sound like I don't GET IT.. i honestly do. I know what if feels like to be blinded and not see any other way. It feels like that when your a addict. Yes, you hate using you just don't get how you can get out you feel traped inside.
Thing is that you DO know and see another way out. Like you said it aint EASY. Leaving him would be a ton harder then just staying. CHANGE hurts and is hard and painful. It would hurt very much to leave him. Just because it would hurt and be very painful, your not stuck there are options. You will not see things clearly untill you are ready to face this head on.
Your telling yourself the same things everyone who loves a addict tells themself. The without me he'll "blank blank blank". I feel so bad for him. I love him so very much. He won't leave.
Truth is you can stand up for yourself. LET HIM scream yell be a baby don't mean you have to give him money. Stand up for yourself no one else can do that for you. You can CHANGE things but, it will be HARD stop looking for it to be easy it never will get easy.
FEAR of the unknown is more powerful then fear of the known. You know it hurts to stay but, that a pain your use to. The fear to leave is much worse you don't know what will happen
Lil story i heard in my 1st rehab. It works for all areas of life i think of this story often. A guy is walking down a dirt road. He sees a old man with a dog on a porch. The dog is howling in pain. The guy ask the old man ,"what is wrong with the dog?". Old man says he's laying on a old rusty nail. Man says my God, why don't he get up!. Old man says I guess it don't hurt enough yet.
Thing is that you DO know and see another way out. Like you said it aint EASY. Leaving him would be a ton harder then just staying. CHANGE hurts and is hard and painful. It would hurt very much to leave him. Just because it would hurt and be very painful, your not stuck there are options. You will not see things clearly untill you are ready to face this head on.
Your telling yourself the same things everyone who loves a addict tells themself. The without me he'll "blank blank blank". I feel so bad for him. I love him so very much. He won't leave.
Truth is you can stand up for yourself. LET HIM scream yell be a baby don't mean you have to give him money. Stand up for yourself no one else can do that for you. You can CHANGE things but, it will be HARD stop looking for it to be easy it never will get easy.
FEAR of the unknown is more powerful then fear of the known. You know it hurts to stay but, that a pain your use to. The fear to leave is much worse you don't know what will happen
Lil story i heard in my 1st rehab. It works for all areas of life i think of this story often. A guy is walking down a dirt road. He sees a old man with a dog on a porch. The dog is howling in pain. The guy ask the old man ,"what is wrong with the dog?". Old man says he's laying on a old rusty nail. Man says my God, why don't he get up!. Old man says I guess it don't hurt enough yet.
Good post ..Zg...what the boards about ..cheers..Davey
He is ment to be supporting you ,giving you money not you giving him money .This was his choice to use not yours so why should you pay for it ? as much as he stamps his feet say "NO" this was your choice not mine so iam no longer going to continue to pay for your habbit you got in to this s*** so you get out of it i will be there to offer you support but not money .
take care emma xxx
take care emma xxx
Good post Zero..thanks.
Thing is I wont leave. I have only just got this house and I couldnt possible leave it.
However when I tell him to leave, I have begged him till I am blue in my face and its totally exhausting.
I would like to think there is happiness and a future but the truth is I am prepairing myself for what I know is only a matter of time away. Whether it be his death, jail???? who knows. Also I am afraid what he will do if I dont give him the money. Thats what I mean by he bullies me. He knows I am afraid because when he hasnt had his gear, he is a monster and who knows what he is capable of. He has hit me before. He froths at the mouth. He has only ever hit me the once and I wouldnt say I am staying with him because I am scared to leave because its not the case. I do love him and am only scared when he gets in this state.
Supposed to be new house new start but I know how it works and its only me trying and am sick of just ignoring what is happening right in front of my face.
Even if he went onto meth it would be a step forward. Thing is he has been took off supervised for the subbies so he wont tell his gp that he aint even of the gear.
He is a coward and I no longer wish to go on like this. I have just spent the rest of my money on myself. Treated myself to underwear etc and he wouldnt dare so a thing to me. I will sell what I have to sell to make back the money he owes me. Tonight we will be having words but he is a BIG BABY. He wont get help, help himself..well he aint punishing me and making me pay in more ways than one for a problem and addiction which is not mine. It might as well be because I feel worry everyday and yes in a way I have been accepting this yet deep down I have been waiting for a solution. How can I make him leave??? It aint that easy???
I dont want it to be the end but if it is a choice of him and the addiction or without him at all...I choose the life on my own.
Thanks again everyone for great posts. I still dont know how I am going to do it because I refuse to leave and I dont know how to make him leave. I aint scared of much, I am just trying to make things easier for everyone...especially my daughter, who god forbid should ever know any of this. I will protect her with my life, I would give my life for her. Even though you tel me what to do I stull dont know how????
Thing is I wont leave. I have only just got this house and I couldnt possible leave it.
However when I tell him to leave, I have begged him till I am blue in my face and its totally exhausting.
I would like to think there is happiness and a future but the truth is I am prepairing myself for what I know is only a matter of time away. Whether it be his death, jail???? who knows. Also I am afraid what he will do if I dont give him the money. Thats what I mean by he bullies me. He knows I am afraid because when he hasnt had his gear, he is a monster and who knows what he is capable of. He has hit me before. He froths at the mouth. He has only ever hit me the once and I wouldnt say I am staying with him because I am scared to leave because its not the case. I do love him and am only scared when he gets in this state.
Supposed to be new house new start but I know how it works and its only me trying and am sick of just ignoring what is happening right in front of my face.
Even if he went onto meth it would be a step forward. Thing is he has been took off supervised for the subbies so he wont tell his gp that he aint even of the gear.
He is a coward and I no longer wish to go on like this. I have just spent the rest of my money on myself. Treated myself to underwear etc and he wouldnt dare so a thing to me. I will sell what I have to sell to make back the money he owes me. Tonight we will be having words but he is a BIG BABY. He wont get help, help himself..well he aint punishing me and making me pay in more ways than one for a problem and addiction which is not mine. It might as well be because I feel worry everyday and yes in a way I have been accepting this yet deep down I have been waiting for a solution. How can I make him leave??? It aint that easy???
I dont want it to be the end but if it is a choice of him and the addiction or without him at all...I choose the life on my own.
Thanks again everyone for great posts. I still dont know how I am going to do it because I refuse to leave and I dont know how to make him leave. I aint scared of much, I am just trying to make things easier for everyone...especially my daughter, who god forbid should ever know any of this. I will protect her with my life, I would give my life for her. Even though you tel me what to do I stull dont know how????
Bunnyrocker, is the tenancy in your name only? If so, it's easy to get him out. Remove his housekey from his keyring, or failing that get the locks changed, and chuck all his stuff out into the street. You don't have to negotiate with this guy. If he kicks off, then you call the police. Now I already know that you ain't gonna do this coz you're afraid of making a final choice. You want to negotiate, you don't really want him to leave. So honey, although this mess is not of your making, you are choosing to live with it. And that's up to you. No amount of advice is going to make one blind bit of difference. You gave money to a junkie, you know that's a cardinal sin, you know that makes you an enabler. You say he bullies you, and I believe he does, but you also know that you are choosing to be a victim by giving into his bullying. Please don't think I'm looking down on you or being nasty, coz I got no room to talk - I too try and believe in the good and try to ignore the bad, and I've realised that there's a bit of me that actually enjoys the chaos and enjoys the being victimized. I'm a terrible passive-aggressive. I like the power I feel after a big row, when he's done something really bad, and wants me to forgive him, so I know I play my part in the whole sorry mess. I think that maybe you do too.
Hope you find it in yourself to be strong...
love
diff x
Hope you find it in yourself to be strong...
love
diff x
Lynds not got time to read everyones posts... when i was using i used to beg my mum, get on my knees...make her think it was her fault and she always gave me money eventually. If he's starting to ask you now it'll only get worse.I really do hope things will work out for the two of you, maybe it's time to give him an ultimatum...Take care, Kev
Diff I know what your saying and I can understand what you mean when you get the upper hand afterwards. You get your own way and you can say and do what you want and I think thats why I getthrough this. Because deep down I like it. Its when things like this morning happen and it makes me think where is this going and when can things be normal again and then I ask myself do I want to be with him when he is normal again (thats if he ever is). All these questions...who knows what will happen. I believe life is mapped out for you so if its meant to be its meant to be. I suppose I am still mad that he done this in the first place. He had everything going for him. I feel more mad because he had a lovely daughter and he was selfish.
I have a real bad anger problem too and when he has just had a hit I cant control myself and I feel like I really wanna hurt him because he has this thing which is like his medicine which blocks out the emotions and pains when I sit there and feel every ounce of emotion and pain.
Kev, thanks for your post too. I have already gave him umtean untilmatums and they just dont work. He agrees but as soon as he is "rattling" he doesnt care. He kind of lives for the moment. I got a back payment of money that I was owed and I gave him fifty and said dont ask for any more. Normally 25.00 per day is sufficient. He blew the lot in one day. Pure greed...then he had the cheek to ask for more money the next day. I know its my own fault cos I shouldnt give to him at all....I am soft and I just want things to be as normal as possible. I give in to him for an easy life and I know I am a coward.
One day I have strength and the next I am week.
I will get through this though...I do know that.
Wish me luck. I have spoken to him and explained its green or I am off. I wont actually leave for good but I have a friend in Scotland and I will go there for a week or so and he dont know where she lives so he will never find me. I just feel bad because not only am I going but I am taking his daughter away from him, but I think that is what it takes to make him realise or leave me the f*ck alone.
Thanks again for replies. Lynds xx
I have a real bad anger problem too and when he has just had a hit I cant control myself and I feel like I really wanna hurt him because he has this thing which is like his medicine which blocks out the emotions and pains when I sit there and feel every ounce of emotion and pain.
Kev, thanks for your post too. I have already gave him umtean untilmatums and they just dont work. He agrees but as soon as he is "rattling" he doesnt care. He kind of lives for the moment. I got a back payment of money that I was owed and I gave him fifty and said dont ask for any more. Normally 25.00 per day is sufficient. He blew the lot in one day. Pure greed...then he had the cheek to ask for more money the next day. I know its my own fault cos I shouldnt give to him at all....I am soft and I just want things to be as normal as possible. I give in to him for an easy life and I know I am a coward.
One day I have strength and the next I am week.
I will get through this though...I do know that.
Wish me luck. I have spoken to him and explained its green or I am off. I wont actually leave for good but I have a friend in Scotland and I will go there for a week or so and he dont know where she lives so he will never find me. I just feel bad because not only am I going but I am taking his daughter away from him, but I think that is what it takes to make him realise or leave me the f*ck alone.
Thanks again for replies. Lynds xx
You're enabling honey and you know it. Hell I'm not judging you, I've done it too! But you can stop. I am worried about the bullying though. Sean never got violent with me, ever. Once I'd learned the difference between enabling and helping (from you good people in here), I told him what I would and wouldn't do from then on...what he could and couldn't expect from me. He only ever asked me for money once more after that...I said no. He said "no?". I repeated "no". He said ok and walked away. Porbably to find someone else to lent the him the dosh. Don't care, it wasn't my money!
Oh Bunny I wish I could help you somehow...a while ago you seemed so sorted and happy and everything seemed to be going right. You know that no matter how much he loves you, which he obviously does, it will never be enough to make him clean. Only a stronger love of himself and life itself will do that...I couldn't love my children more than I do but the fact that me smkoing hurts them so much doesn't stop me...although when one of them burst into tears and begged me not to smoke I put the fag away and smoked it later when she wasn't around...I feel so s*** typing that...but I understand how love isn't enough to stop an addiction.
You are an amazing person with one of the biggest hearts I know...you love him clean, you love him using and you've accepted that he is an addict...you've been through all sorts of s*** with him (I know what it's like, I've been there too)...but you cannot let him take your money and drain you of your life.
I don't know what else to say. Maybe when he's in a good mood...sit him down and explain exactly what is going on in your head...I know Sean only ever wanted to talk on his terms...when he felt like it...but he has to understand that you will not continue to fund his habit and put a roof over his head if he treats you with so little respect...nah not that word...but you know what I mean. His habit, his problem. Of course he won't leave. Why the hell would he?
Stay calm. Set your boundaries. Don't tell him what to do, just calmly tell him I will do this, I won't do that. Good luck Bun...lotsa love, Maddy x x x
Oh Bunny I wish I could help you somehow...a while ago you seemed so sorted and happy and everything seemed to be going right. You know that no matter how much he loves you, which he obviously does, it will never be enough to make him clean. Only a stronger love of himself and life itself will do that...I couldn't love my children more than I do but the fact that me smkoing hurts them so much doesn't stop me...although when one of them burst into tears and begged me not to smoke I put the fag away and smoked it later when she wasn't around...I feel so s*** typing that...but I understand how love isn't enough to stop an addiction.
You are an amazing person with one of the biggest hearts I know...you love him clean, you love him using and you've accepted that he is an addict...you've been through all sorts of s*** with him (I know what it's like, I've been there too)...but you cannot let him take your money and drain you of your life.
I don't know what else to say. Maybe when he's in a good mood...sit him down and explain exactly what is going on in your head...I know Sean only ever wanted to talk on his terms...when he felt like it...but he has to understand that you will not continue to fund his habit and put a roof over his head if he treats you with so little respect...nah not that word...but you know what I mean. His habit, his problem. Of course he won't leave. Why the hell would he?
Stay calm. Set your boundaries. Don't tell him what to do, just calmly tell him I will do this, I won't do that. Good luck Bun...lotsa love, Maddy x x x
Hi Bunny, just one thing you said that I'm gonna pull you on (jeez, I feel like my mother marking an exam paper (she's a retired physics teacher) except that it's not an exam paper it's your life). You talked about when life returns to normal. Honey, life will NEVER EVER return to the way it was. Firstly, accept that the whole experience has changed you. You will never forget, even if you forgive. You have changed. And you'll never trust him 100% again. And the person he was when he was clean is GONE. Never to return. The thing about addiction is it answers a whole lot of questions that you may have asked yourself previously. I guess we all wonder what our boundaries are, and with addiction, well, you step over what you thought they were, by about 1000 miles, and you find out that you are capable of just about anything if the motivation is strong enough. Your morality is just another casualty. When I was in the middle of it, I guess I always found a way to excuse myself, but looking back, I'm a lot more realistic about human nature. Even the nicest person can be a stealing lying cheating twat if the circumstances are right. I count myself as a nice person, but I'm also all of those things.
For me, the whole addiction thing taught me a lot, and by overcoming it, I think it's made me a better person. Certainly a wiser person. But I can't even recognise the girl I used to be before my addiction. It's like eating from the tree of knowledge. You get kicked out of the garden of eden before your feet touch the ground. It's put a very old head on what are relatively young shoulders. I can put a positive spin on it, coz for me, it's part of my past. But I know the statistics, and I'm a pretty rare commodity. You have to be realistic. Heroin is probably gonna be a part of your present for the duration. So you either live with it, or leave it behind. Either way you've got to move with the times. You can't live in the past, coz the past is already dead, apart from in your memory.
take care
love
diff x
For me, the whole addiction thing taught me a lot, and by overcoming it, I think it's made me a better person. Certainly a wiser person. But I can't even recognise the girl I used to be before my addiction. It's like eating from the tree of knowledge. You get kicked out of the garden of eden before your feet touch the ground. It's put a very old head on what are relatively young shoulders. I can put a positive spin on it, coz for me, it's part of my past. But I know the statistics, and I'm a pretty rare commodity. You have to be realistic. Heroin is probably gonna be a part of your present for the duration. So you either live with it, or leave it behind. Either way you've got to move with the times. You can't live in the past, coz the past is already dead, apart from in your memory.
take care
love
diff x
Bunny - there are a lot of very wise words on this thread and they're all true.
As Diff says he isn't going to return to normal - this is his normal.
Second if you read other posts you'll know that even if he's hating the life he's living and wants to return to what you call normal it isn't easy, getting clean takes loads of hard work and there'll be a lot of pain way way more than he feels with just a few wds.
It's not right that he's either bullying you ar emotionally blackmailing you for money and you know it.
You can't give him money because you can't afford to there is no shame in this so don't go away to Scotland or anywhere else stand your ground - lay down your rules and if he doesn't play give him the red card.
You probably won't even need to, when you stop cooking and feeding him and he can't get no money off you then he'll go on his own.
My man sometimes when he's out of work used to ask if I had a spare fiver, tenner at first I'd say yes he always gave it me back the next day. Then I used to say no I didn't but actually that wasn't honest so a couple of years back I said yes I have the money but I'm not letting you have it for drugs not because I can't afford to but because it only takes one bad bag and if you died because of the smack bought with the money I've given you - then I'd feel that I'd murdered you.
We argued the free will toss a little, him saying it was nothing to do with me if he didn't borrow from me then he would from someone else. But the way I feel is that if I'd given him a bullet and he killed himself, it might be his free will to hold the gun to his head and fire - but it would always have been my bullet.
And I turn it around - how would he feel what would he do?
He thought about it and he's never asked me for any money since.
k
As Diff says he isn't going to return to normal - this is his normal.
Second if you read other posts you'll know that even if he's hating the life he's living and wants to return to what you call normal it isn't easy, getting clean takes loads of hard work and there'll be a lot of pain way way more than he feels with just a few wds.
It's not right that he's either bullying you ar emotionally blackmailing you for money and you know it.
You can't give him money because you can't afford to there is no shame in this so don't go away to Scotland or anywhere else stand your ground - lay down your rules and if he doesn't play give him the red card.
You probably won't even need to, when you stop cooking and feeding him and he can't get no money off you then he'll go on his own.
My man sometimes when he's out of work used to ask if I had a spare fiver, tenner at first I'd say yes he always gave it me back the next day. Then I used to say no I didn't but actually that wasn't honest so a couple of years back I said yes I have the money but I'm not letting you have it for drugs not because I can't afford to but because it only takes one bad bag and if you died because of the smack bought with the money I've given you - then I'd feel that I'd murdered you.
We argued the free will toss a little, him saying it was nothing to do with me if he didn't borrow from me then he would from someone else. But the way I feel is that if I'd given him a bullet and he killed himself, it might be his free will to hold the gun to his head and fire - but it would always have been my bullet.
And I turn it around - how would he feel what would he do?
He thought about it and he's never asked me for any money since.
k
How ya doin Bunny? x x
| QUOTE |
| I dont want this life, far from it I just cant seem to find an easy way out....I wont actually leave for good but I have a friend in Scotland and I will go there for a week or so and he dont know where she lives so he will never find me. I just feel bad because not only am I going but I am taking his daughter away from him |
Why is he still there, Bunny? There is no easy way out, but there is a way. You just got this great new house and should be having your fresh start. You are playing games by going to Scotland and thinking this will somehow change his thinking by making him miss you so much that he'll finally realize what he's been missing. It doesn't work that way and it's a head game and a power play. He has already chosen his drugs over his daughter and over you - that's just how it is. The day may come when he changes, but it won't be because you are helping him cop or manipulating him into feeling guilty, it'll be because he wants it for himself. Sorry if I sound cold, but it's just the way things are. Hope you find your way out.
~MomNMore
Dam posted a reply then lost all the dam text I had typed...I was on ages. Anyway briefly what I have just typed was.....
I aint going to Scotland to make him realise what he is missing. I am going to have a break which I need to clear my head, thnk things through and decide what I want. I dont play mind games with people...I find them cruel and I like to get straight to the point. If I wanna ask someone something I ask etc etc. I know your only speaking as you see it and I respect you for that.
Nothing has changed anyway apart from he is even more depressed and is talking about ending it all but I know if that is the path he chooses to go down then its his life and his choice and I wont be responsible for that.
I spent most of the night on the sofa.
I have a lovely daughter a lovely home a great family and great friends on here and around me...sometimes I dont realise how lucky I am and I should be more gratefull for what I have got. Things are bad but not that bad, if I think about all the people that are worse off than me. I keep moaning when I choose to be in this situation...I accept it and I dont do anything about that. I know that.
Anyway thanks once again for your support, words of advise and words of wisdom.
Take care all...Lynds xx
I aint going to Scotland to make him realise what he is missing. I am going to have a break which I need to clear my head, thnk things through and decide what I want. I dont play mind games with people...I find them cruel and I like to get straight to the point. If I wanna ask someone something I ask etc etc. I know your only speaking as you see it and I respect you for that.
Nothing has changed anyway apart from he is even more depressed and is talking about ending it all but I know if that is the path he chooses to go down then its his life and his choice and I wont be responsible for that.
I spent most of the night on the sofa.
I have a lovely daughter a lovely home a great family and great friends on here and around me...sometimes I dont realise how lucky I am and I should be more gratefull for what I have got. Things are bad but not that bad, if I think about all the people that are worse off than me. I keep moaning when I choose to be in this situation...I accept it and I dont do anything about that. I know that.
Anyway thanks once again for your support, words of advise and words of wisdom.
Take care all...Lynds xx
Bunny,
This makes my head freakin explode.
I'm looking at all the replies and it brings me back to the GAME........every post.
EXAMPLE: Like Jazwan said we act all indignant that if we didn't borrow the money from ya we act all like it ain't your business........well it is.......it is your business cause it is.
You actually might be desensitized, BR........it gets to that......the more ya accept things that ya never would have before they become common place.
Deep down, baby cakes ya have to ask WHY.......the real WHY.....why do you accept living like this........will you always accept it.........I can't say leave......kick him out..........none of it cause I ain't there, but behind it there's a reason besides plain ol' loving him that you're living like that........not saying it is wrong or right, but just wondering why?
You my girl, Miss BR.........i don't wanna see ya sad.......or hurt.
This makes my head freakin explode.
I'm looking at all the replies and it brings me back to the GAME........every post.
EXAMPLE: Like Jazwan said we act all indignant that if we didn't borrow the money from ya we act all like it ain't your business........well it is.......it is your business cause it is.
You actually might be desensitized, BR........it gets to that......the more ya accept things that ya never would have before they become common place.
Deep down, baby cakes ya have to ask WHY.......the real WHY.....why do you accept living like this........will you always accept it.........I can't say leave......kick him out..........none of it cause I ain't there, but behind it there's a reason besides plain ol' loving him that you're living like that........not saying it is wrong or right, but just wondering why?
You my girl, Miss BR.........i don't wanna see ya sad.......or hurt.
Thanks Bryn.
I think I get myself stook in a rut...I like routine. This has become my routine and even though I aint happy I just put up with it and ever now and again I have a moan and get myself down in the dumps about it but I know its all my doing. I never look for sympathy. I think I am just so laid back that I want him to do something about it and I suppose I am scared to.
I will get through it though...regardless which way it goes.
Kind of freaky but my friend is a gypsy and she tells fortunes...my bed had been moved in my spare room and I hadnt mentioned it to anyone. She told me your gran doesnt like the bed where it is so she moved it and you have been wondering who done it, she said also your not happy and she is there right now for you to look over you and make sure you get through this. Last night after a row with him I lay in bed and BANG something hit off the bed in that back room. I went in and stood in the corner...I had tears in my eyes...I was freezing cold from head to toe and a little scared but conforting at the same time. Hell I dont know if my gran is there or someone else or whether its juts my imagination but I would like to think she is there looking over me....but I hate what she is seeing is she is looking cos her blood would be boiling.
Anyway thanks Bryn xx
I think I get myself stook in a rut...I like routine. This has become my routine and even though I aint happy I just put up with it and ever now and again I have a moan and get myself down in the dumps about it but I know its all my doing. I never look for sympathy. I think I am just so laid back that I want him to do something about it and I suppose I am scared to.
I will get through it though...regardless which way it goes.
Kind of freaky but my friend is a gypsy and she tells fortunes...my bed had been moved in my spare room and I hadnt mentioned it to anyone. She told me your gran doesnt like the bed where it is so she moved it and you have been wondering who done it, she said also your not happy and she is there right now for you to look over you and make sure you get through this. Last night after a row with him I lay in bed and BANG something hit off the bed in that back room. I went in and stood in the corner...I had tears in my eyes...I was freezing cold from head to toe and a little scared but conforting at the same time. Hell I dont know if my gran is there or someone else or whether its juts my imagination but I would like to think she is there looking over me....but I hate what she is seeing is she is looking cos her blood would be boiling.
Anyway thanks Bryn xx
You are going in circles. I don't visit this board as much as the family board. But every few months I come on and see the same thing. If you don't start taking care of you, you are headed for a breakdown.
I am not going to say I don't mean to be blunt. Because I do. If it was just you it would be one thing, but you have a child to protect as well. Giving money you can not afford to support his habbit is taking away from you and that child.
You need to start doing what you need to do for you and that child. No more revolving your entire lives around him and his addiction. You don't deserve to be treated how you are but you are accepting it.
I would suggest you start attending al anon meetings.
I am not going to say I don't mean to be blunt. Because I do. If it was just you it would be one thing, but you have a child to protect as well. Giving money you can not afford to support his habbit is taking away from you and that child.
You need to start doing what you need to do for you and that child. No more revolving your entire lives around him and his addiction. You don't deserve to be treated how you are but you are accepting it.
I would suggest you start attending al anon meetings.
