i would like some advice on this.... i went to a doctor yesterday to pick up some more stilnox...sleeping pills, i just had to get the script. when i got there it wasnt ready and the receptionist said he wanted a word with me. he told me he had, had a letter from the government warning him that i have been doctor shopping, he found out who my main gp was and told me he was going to call him and asked me to wait in the waiting room. i wasnt really upset, more just a little annoyed and i also felt some relief that someone cared enough to bring this up! he asked me back in and said he confirmed that i had just got a script made up 2 days previous for stilnox and had spoken to the chemist. he was being nice about it. i actually cannot remember getting that script but did not deny that i probably did. he said that i could get myself into trouble doing this and that he could help me if i i wanted it. i said yes. i got him to write me another referral to the psychiatrist i am going to see, this time with the truth that im not really coping in it! last night i had some sort of weird experience, i felt like i was in a cartoon.....like nothing was real! i rang this doctor back and he asked if i had taken anything, which i had not. i didnt have anything.....he said it was withdrawal and to drink plenty of liquids and if i got any more confused to go to hospital. the next two hours are very blank.....i remember my family yelling about alot of things at me and me just standing there looking confused. i remember finding so many empty packets of sleeping pills in my bin it wasnt funny and i remember thinking...."ive been to all these doctors!!! when?!?!??!?" apparently i got in the car and went out, i am starting to remember a little bit, but i didnt come back for 2 hours and when i did, i was told i pretty much went straight to bed, but just before i did my mother heard the sound of pills being opened. i know i only have to look in my bin to find out what i was doing.
i thought i was coping with everything ok....am i having some sort of breakdown all of a sudden? i wouldnt be surprised. im doing things i dont remember doing, i saw i wrote down one night i took 20 stilnox and 20 panadeine forte. i dont remember doing it though. i dont want to get into trouble. now my main gp will be upset with me? if things dont get any better soon, i dont want to be here, to be honest i really just dont. please help me.
Elvis...you are in dire need of more help than you will ever get here. You need to check yourself into a hospital and get the help you so desperately need and deserve.
This has been going on for years....get help Elvis...real help before you die or kill someone else.
Stop putting this off....it is life or death. Life or death those are your options.
This has been going on for years....get help Elvis...real help before you die or kill someone else.
Stop putting this off....it is life or death. Life or death those are your options.
Elvis - if you have any love for your mother, think of how it will destroy her life if you lose yours. Children can manage better without their mother than mothers can live without their children. Get clean for yourself, but if not for you, do it for her. Even Christ talks about the love of a mother. As a mother myself, I suffer every day wondering will something happen to my child, knowing it would end both our lives. We are all stronger than we know. Give it a try.
i thought i was coping so well. the house was gone, i was being the strong one, i had to have surgery, i kept myself together, ive been getting this new order on my father, (still dont feel safe) but keeping it together......and then. i think my shrink would have to put me in hospital. i think a doctor has to put u in? im confused still.....
Elvis:
Go straight to the hospital - got to the ER if you have to - call an ambulance - tell them that you have taken all of these sleeping pills and you just want "out"
Please do this, doesn't matter what time it is, you need to get medical help and then go on to your recovery. They can give you the tools to see that you have a life worth living.
It may not seem that way right now but when you get out of the middle of all of that trouble, you will see that you can be a happy person.
I will try to keep this short - GO TO THE HOSPITAL, PLEASE.
Elvis, I lost a son at 18 years old in a car accident. My life will never be the same - When I think about it, I feel like someone is punching me in the chest - don't do this to anyone who loves you. Our lives changed forever. It's been 16 years and we laugh and we talk about my son - he was a rebel, smoking the 1st cigarettes, 1st to cut school, that kind of stuf.
Now I'm so glad he had all of that fun. He packed a lot of living into those 18 years.
Had it of been a suicide, I don't know if I would have been here and I had 2 other sons to raise so I had to toughen up and I have found peace - as much as I think is possible.
Don't you dare do this to yourself!
Love, Becky
Go straight to the hospital - got to the ER if you have to - call an ambulance - tell them that you have taken all of these sleeping pills and you just want "out"
Please do this, doesn't matter what time it is, you need to get medical help and then go on to your recovery. They can give you the tools to see that you have a life worth living.
It may not seem that way right now but when you get out of the middle of all of that trouble, you will see that you can be a happy person.
I will try to keep this short - GO TO THE HOSPITAL, PLEASE.
Elvis, I lost a son at 18 years old in a car accident. My life will never be the same - When I think about it, I feel like someone is punching me in the chest - don't do this to anyone who loves you. Our lives changed forever. It's been 16 years and we laugh and we talk about my son - he was a rebel, smoking the 1st cigarettes, 1st to cut school, that kind of stuf.
Now I'm so glad he had all of that fun. He packed a lot of living into those 18 years.
Had it of been a suicide, I don't know if I would have been here and I had 2 other sons to raise so I had to toughen up and I have found peace - as much as I think is possible.
Don't you dare do this to yourself!
Love, Becky
Elvis, try talking to your family anyway. I did not know my daughter was using anything and we are very close. she had been taking pain pills for 2 yrs and decided to get help. That is when she told me. Yes, I was angry, sad, then I put that part away and did all I could to help her. Parents feel like they failed their child when something like this happens. Parents are human also and feel the pain of their children. Give it a try. Get help and allow them to help you.
becky i have not taken anything since i got up. i just feel depressed, confused and have a bit of a headache. i cant call an ambulance, my nan has told me she will not have police or ambulances at her house. if i just go into er, they wont take notice of me......im probably just realising how stressed i am or something....ill go get a cup of tea, im not sure what to do, i will check in again later. xoxoxo
p.s christinas mum, i cant talk to my "family" about this. they would say im just causing more trouble.....this makes me sad also...
p.s christinas mum, i cant talk to my "family" about this. they would say im just causing more trouble.....this makes me sad also...
Elvis,
you are detiriorating very fast.
You have gotten so much advice. Why don't you just type in "ELVIS" at the bottom search and re-read all the great advice that you have been given and have not taken...it's constant excuses.
You aren't coping well. Taking pills,doctor shopping, lying, not even remember filling a frickin' script??? Come on! GET REAL!
It makes me so mad that you are not doing anything to help yourself. You haven't. You want it to be fixed. you want what you want. The way you are going, you are going to die. Wake up. Please just wake the hell up.
Go to rehab. Go to a meeting every single day, get a sponsor. You have to start taking care of you and quit depending on other people to determine where you go in life.
you are detiriorating very fast.
You have gotten so much advice. Why don't you just type in "ELVIS" at the bottom search and re-read all the great advice that you have been given and have not taken...it's constant excuses.
You aren't coping well. Taking pills,doctor shopping, lying, not even remember filling a frickin' script??? Come on! GET REAL!
It makes me so mad that you are not doing anything to help yourself. You haven't. You want it to be fixed. you want what you want. The way you are going, you are going to die. Wake up. Please just wake the hell up.
Go to rehab. Go to a meeting every single day, get a sponsor. You have to start taking care of you and quit depending on other people to determine where you go in life.
Dear Elvis:
I don't care wht they say or think - call 911 - you ned help immediately.
Love, Becky
DO IT!!!
I don't care wht they say or think - call 911 - you ned help immediately.
Love, Becky
DO IT!!!
Time to take responsibility...this is not your Nans problem or your dads fault or your moms or your sisters.
You are a grown women of what 28 or 29...its time to step up and be and adult and look for a solution. You need help...regardless of what anyone in your family says or does.
This place is beyond helping you.....go to the ER...please
You are a grown women of what 28 or 29...its time to step up and be and adult and look for a solution. You need help...regardless of what anyone in your family says or does.
This place is beyond helping you.....go to the ER...please
thankyou guys for caring so much! it really makes me feel that i am here for a reason! well, i rang my psych and told him how im feeling, he told me the same thing i was thinking "the hospital wont take u, they say they have betterr things to do, give all ur medication to ur mother and if u feel like ur loosing ur mind just stay inside" .......?!?!?! er...ok. he checked he has an appointment with me next friday. i had a cup of tea and took a panadol for my headache. i still feel funny......im trying to keep myself in check and not have any arguements with anyone so i dont take off as i dont think i should be behind a wheel right now.....i thanku so much guys for caring for me, just to have somewhere to know that i should check in cuz someone might be worried makes me feel like someone worthwhile.
i will check in again later. anyone have any ideas with whats going on with me? (pls be nice). thanks xoxooo
i will check in again later. anyone have any ideas with whats going on with me? (pls be nice). thanks xoxooo
Okay Sweetie:
Your doctor's a flake. I have attempted suicide before and I know some thought I just wanted attention. I just wanted out. I didn't even want to die - just peace.
You are going to have to be tough and forget the Dr., your family, e'one except yourself. That Dr. doesn't know that the hospital doesn't want you. In fact, that hospital may be sued if they turn you away.
Please - I have been out of control. When I was taking Xanax along with the Lortabs - never thought I had a problem with Xanax b/c Lortabs consumed my life. Then one day I noticed I had taken 30 days in 15 days - double - so I know what you mean when you say that you didn't even realize it. Xanax doesn't make me high. I still don't know why I took so many of them so Dr. detoxed me off of those at home with 7 Valium and 20 Depokote - not fun but I'm glad it's over.
Gosh, we don't don't even know that much about each other - I know you're a girl - haha - b/c you have that on your screen. You know I'm a Mother b/c I talk about my sons all of the time. haha - just can't help it.
I'm 50 - had a very young (puppy love) marriage and had 2 sons, 19 months apart. That's marriage lasted almost 5 years and he just wouldn't grow up. I found it easier with just me and my 2 little fellas. I dated only 1 guy in between husbands - didn't care for him - met David and fell madle in love.
My sons were 5 and 7 when we married. We have a 25 yr old together and really had a good 20 years and then e'thing just starting going bad.
He's bi-polar and won't take meds. I started with no sleep, Fibromyalgia and then depression followed so we are different people than we once were - a divorce is happening - house is on market now.
My 25 yr old is a firefighter and does maint on the side b/c firefighters don't make a ton of money. He grad from Clemson with a teaching degree, taught a year and hated it. He loves being a fireman so I'm happy for him.
My 33 yr old is a computer wiz - can't even tell you what he does - he went to Furman but kind of floated out his junior year - 3rd semester - he came out okay. I learned I had to let them make their own mistakes and he wasn't motivated. He's the testaker but you do have to show up for class - haha
My oldest son as I told you died in a car accident in 1991 - along wit him was his Father (my first husband) and my son's g'friend - they were all killed on impact by a Ford Bronco.. He was, speeding, drinking and driving. We had a friend who sat in on traffic court about 2 years later and there he was again - with a jury trial trying to get out of a speeding ticket - She said other jurors responded to him as a professional speeded. I wanted him in jail but the jails are so over-crowded, it doesn't work that way. I think he had to pay a big fine and lose his license for a year.
I have these 2 little puppies now Dude and Max - 2 little Shih Tzus - they are 5 and 7. They make me smile, I can ge in the floor with them and they can make me lol - they are so funny - think about that when you get your own place. These have hair, not fur so they don't shed and I keep them with a puppy cut - don't like the long haired ones with bows.
That's pretty much my life.
I would love to hear more about you.
Oh, and I am in Greenville, SC - have lived here all of my life with my Scarlett O'hara accent - maybe not that much - maybe a Reba accent - it is there.
Love,
Becky
Your doctor's a flake. I have attempted suicide before and I know some thought I just wanted attention. I just wanted out. I didn't even want to die - just peace.
You are going to have to be tough and forget the Dr., your family, e'one except yourself. That Dr. doesn't know that the hospital doesn't want you. In fact, that hospital may be sued if they turn you away.
Please - I have been out of control. When I was taking Xanax along with the Lortabs - never thought I had a problem with Xanax b/c Lortabs consumed my life. Then one day I noticed I had taken 30 days in 15 days - double - so I know what you mean when you say that you didn't even realize it. Xanax doesn't make me high. I still don't know why I took so many of them so Dr. detoxed me off of those at home with 7 Valium and 20 Depokote - not fun but I'm glad it's over.
Gosh, we don't don't even know that much about each other - I know you're a girl - haha - b/c you have that on your screen. You know I'm a Mother b/c I talk about my sons all of the time. haha - just can't help it.
I'm 50 - had a very young (puppy love) marriage and had 2 sons, 19 months apart. That's marriage lasted almost 5 years and he just wouldn't grow up. I found it easier with just me and my 2 little fellas. I dated only 1 guy in between husbands - didn't care for him - met David and fell madle in love.
My sons were 5 and 7 when we married. We have a 25 yr old together and really had a good 20 years and then e'thing just starting going bad.
He's bi-polar and won't take meds. I started with no sleep, Fibromyalgia and then depression followed so we are different people than we once were - a divorce is happening - house is on market now.
My 25 yr old is a firefighter and does maint on the side b/c firefighters don't make a ton of money. He grad from Clemson with a teaching degree, taught a year and hated it. He loves being a fireman so I'm happy for him.
My 33 yr old is a computer wiz - can't even tell you what he does - he went to Furman but kind of floated out his junior year - 3rd semester - he came out okay. I learned I had to let them make their own mistakes and he wasn't motivated. He's the testaker but you do have to show up for class - haha
My oldest son as I told you died in a car accident in 1991 - along wit him was his Father (my first husband) and my son's g'friend - they were all killed on impact by a Ford Bronco.. He was, speeding, drinking and driving. We had a friend who sat in on traffic court about 2 years later and there he was again - with a jury trial trying to get out of a speeding ticket - She said other jurors responded to him as a professional speeded. I wanted him in jail but the jails are so over-crowded, it doesn't work that way. I think he had to pay a big fine and lose his license for a year.
I have these 2 little puppies now Dude and Max - 2 little Shih Tzus - they are 5 and 7. They make me smile, I can ge in the floor with them and they can make me lol - they are so funny - think about that when you get your own place. These have hair, not fur so they don't shed and I keep them with a puppy cut - don't like the long haired ones with bows.
That's pretty much my life.
I would love to hear more about you.
Oh, and I am in Greenville, SC - have lived here all of my life with my Scarlett O'hara accent - maybe not that much - maybe a Reba accent - it is there.
Love,
Becky
Elvis, Get help now. You are playing with fire with the stillnox (Ambien). I can see why you don't remember filling those scripts . The only reason I remember any of the s*** I did while abusing them is because my husband always happened to be around when I put myself or my family in harms way and he would be pissed as hell at me in the morning and he would tell me what I did. I am lucky today to be off of them and still be alive to tell about it. If you would like e-mail me at smittyx03@aol.com and after telling you some of the experiences I have had while on Ambien you might think twice about abusing them. Shantel
elvis
i want to share with you what happened to me on stillnox (ambien) it made me forget!
i would take this medication for sleep and the next morning i had NO recollection of how i got to bed!!!
i remember one instance, it was summer, i was sitting on the porch, i had just taken the ambien,(stllnox) i was shocked the next day,i couldnt recall leaving the porch, or walking to my bedroom! thats is scary, i soon developed tolerance for it and those episodes of not remembering stopped. i am glad to say that i finally ended the need to take something to sleep every night, i will take trazodone if i have difficulty in falling asleep.
i have learned a key lesson here, from dealing with my mom, you cant help someone when they wont help themselves, i am sorry to say this elvis, but you are exactly that.
if you were to put elvis's name on the search below, you will find tons of good advice, love and caring and unfortunately alot of criticism as well. we really care about you elvis, but i am afraid all this advice is falling on deaf ears.
lets try this prayer request:
Dear heavenly Father, i ask that you take Your dear servant elvis into your loving care, we have tried, she has tried, and it is in Your hands Lord, open her mind, her ears, her heart to be able to get the strength to help herself, please help elvis to not want to take her precious life or anyones elses life if she were to do something that could endanger others.please guide and direct her path on the road to recovery. in Your Sons precious name we pray, amen.
no more excuses elvis, get a job and move on, get away from all the dysfunction, i had a dad who molested and beat me, i left! today, i have a boundary set to protect me from succumbing back into the sick family circle i was once in
either get out or stay and enjoy being a door mat, i know, i have been a doormat, i didnt think i deserved better
i know what you will do, you will read this, post back and comment on none of the issues that YOU know are true, try and get out of the denial. its like you avoid the truth, OPEN YOUR MIND! we can post back to you until eternity and i believe that you will not take the advice we offer, and dont say you cant, because i know you can! i have been there elvis, i have been so sick in withdrawals where i literally almost had to crawl on my hands and knees from the awful fatigue that comes from withdrawal, and i was told by a therapist in an out patient facility that i HAD to go to a meeting despite how sick i was. i am speaking from true experience here and i understand. obviously you have not reached rock bottom yet, because once you hit it, you will do ANYTHING to relieve the pain and suffering.
honesty open minded and willing, with that you are well on your way.
there is no excuse in the world, even with an injured knee, we know you have a car, so there is no excuse that you cannot go to a meeting today, they are free!.
NA is worldwide! when you go to that meeting, post back and i will try to listen and help in anyway that i can, if you dont go, than i will have to do the same as i did with my mom, set a boundary.
please elvis i am not trying to hurt your feelings or make you feel like a bad person, because your not! you are a child of God like all of the rest of us are and i am hoping that a caring tough love approach and the prayer may just nudge you in the right direction. love jewels
i want to share with you what happened to me on stillnox (ambien) it made me forget!
i would take this medication for sleep and the next morning i had NO recollection of how i got to bed!!!
i remember one instance, it was summer, i was sitting on the porch, i had just taken the ambien,(stllnox) i was shocked the next day,i couldnt recall leaving the porch, or walking to my bedroom! thats is scary, i soon developed tolerance for it and those episodes of not remembering stopped. i am glad to say that i finally ended the need to take something to sleep every night, i will take trazodone if i have difficulty in falling asleep.
i have learned a key lesson here, from dealing with my mom, you cant help someone when they wont help themselves, i am sorry to say this elvis, but you are exactly that.
if you were to put elvis's name on the search below, you will find tons of good advice, love and caring and unfortunately alot of criticism as well. we really care about you elvis, but i am afraid all this advice is falling on deaf ears.
lets try this prayer request:
Dear heavenly Father, i ask that you take Your dear servant elvis into your loving care, we have tried, she has tried, and it is in Your hands Lord, open her mind, her ears, her heart to be able to get the strength to help herself, please help elvis to not want to take her precious life or anyones elses life if she were to do something that could endanger others.please guide and direct her path on the road to recovery. in Your Sons precious name we pray, amen.
no more excuses elvis, get a job and move on, get away from all the dysfunction, i had a dad who molested and beat me, i left! today, i have a boundary set to protect me from succumbing back into the sick family circle i was once in
either get out or stay and enjoy being a door mat, i know, i have been a doormat, i didnt think i deserved better
i know what you will do, you will read this, post back and comment on none of the issues that YOU know are true, try and get out of the denial. its like you avoid the truth, OPEN YOUR MIND! we can post back to you until eternity and i believe that you will not take the advice we offer, and dont say you cant, because i know you can! i have been there elvis, i have been so sick in withdrawals where i literally almost had to crawl on my hands and knees from the awful fatigue that comes from withdrawal, and i was told by a therapist in an out patient facility that i HAD to go to a meeting despite how sick i was. i am speaking from true experience here and i understand. obviously you have not reached rock bottom yet, because once you hit it, you will do ANYTHING to relieve the pain and suffering.
honesty open minded and willing, with that you are well on your way.
there is no excuse in the world, even with an injured knee, we know you have a car, so there is no excuse that you cannot go to a meeting today, they are free!.
NA is worldwide! when you go to that meeting, post back and i will try to listen and help in anyway that i can, if you dont go, than i will have to do the same as i did with my mom, set a boundary.
please elvis i am not trying to hurt your feelings or make you feel like a bad person, because your not! you are a child of God like all of the rest of us are and i am hoping that a caring tough love approach and the prayer may just nudge you in the right direction. love jewels
Hi Elvis,
I feel your pain. I too have been going through a rough time. On and off PP;s and taking klonapin and xanax for w/d. It's aweful. I feel like I am losing my mind also. Nothing in life brings me joy. I'm scared of everything and it takes all my energy just to get up in the morning shower get my kids ready and get to work.
I don't want to be alone but I've alieanted myself from friends and family. I have terrible anxiety and panic attacks. I too wanted to check into rehab but then I started thinking about the kids and all that which I know I would be helping all of us if I went to rehab and put this evil monster and visious cycle of addiction behind me....
I'll be praying for you. If you can do what others have said and go to the ER.
I feel your pain. I too have been going through a rough time. On and off PP;s and taking klonapin and xanax for w/d. It's aweful. I feel like I am losing my mind also. Nothing in life brings me joy. I'm scared of everything and it takes all my energy just to get up in the morning shower get my kids ready and get to work.
I don't want to be alone but I've alieanted myself from friends and family. I have terrible anxiety and panic attacks. I too wanted to check into rehab but then I started thinking about the kids and all that which I know I would be helping all of us if I went to rehab and put this evil monster and visious cycle of addiction behind me....
I'll be praying for you. If you can do what others have said and go to the ER.
Elvis, I don't think I have ever posted to you before, but I have read many of your posts for the past 2 years. I am sorry to say this but it's to the point of totally redeculous. you haven't done 1 thing sinc coming here to help yourself. NOT ONE THING. in what? almost 4 years? why do you even post? for sympathy? you have an excuse for everything, my god you would cancel an important dr. appt. if it was freaking raining outside. you talk about your dad, and how you had to sell your house and move in with your nan and it really cramped. JOIN THE CROUD. We all have problems, you think your the only one? grow up and take care of yourself. best of luck to you in joining the real world and quitting pills
Elvis....Hun we can & do things when we are stressed (even if you dont feel stressed)that we dont remember.I tend to agree you need medical help FAST.You are rolling the dice & sooner or later your luck will crap out.Please try to take care & do what YOU need to do for you....Please
MJ
MJ
Angie...No need to be angry, everyone is on their own path in life and I know for me, when I was in active addiction, the denial was thick and being under the influence, my perception of everything was very distorted...
Elvis,
I've only posted a few times to you but have read your struggles through the years....Basically, your life is your life to make the choices you want to make...If you want to continue to doctor shop be aware you could face jail time...if you want to continue to take large amounts of Stillnox and go into blackouts where you could possibly hurt or kill others, hurt or kill yourself, it is your choice but be aware of the consquences to your actions...Jails, institutions or death and you are getting dangerously close to all of them...but there is help and there is a solution but YOU have to make the choice if you want it or not...I don't wish anything bad on any addict/alcoholic out there still suffering but there is absolutely no one that can help you until you want the help (and I don't mean just lipping the words) and when that happens, you will know...I pray you find you want the help before it's too late and it seems as I read your posts, your disease has progressed quite far and it's only a matter of time before you might not have the choice of recovery...
God bless,
Stacey
Elvis,
I've only posted a few times to you but have read your struggles through the years....Basically, your life is your life to make the choices you want to make...If you want to continue to doctor shop be aware you could face jail time...if you want to continue to take large amounts of Stillnox and go into blackouts where you could possibly hurt or kill others, hurt or kill yourself, it is your choice but be aware of the consquences to your actions...Jails, institutions or death and you are getting dangerously close to all of them...but there is help and there is a solution but YOU have to make the choice if you want it or not...I don't wish anything bad on any addict/alcoholic out there still suffering but there is absolutely no one that can help you until you want the help (and I don't mean just lipping the words) and when that happens, you will know...I pray you find you want the help before it's too late and it seems as I read your posts, your disease has progressed quite far and it's only a matter of time before you might not have the choice of recovery...
God bless,
Stacey
Instead of a physcitrist...you need a good rehab center. I'm sure the goverment will pay for it. I'm sorry E, but there's nothing anyone can do for you here except to listen. You have to start taking some advice if you ever want to get better. Take care honey.
Elvis,
I was caught "doctor shopping" as well. The doctor that busted me wasn't as kind as your doctor. It sounds like your doctor is a good person and cares about you. Let that doctor help you.
You have been going through some really ruff things, (your father, loosing your home just to name a few. ) "Doctor Shopping" will land you in jail. You sure don't need lawyers, court appearances then off to jail along with everything else you're going through. Prison/Jail is for "Bad Guys" you will not get any type of help there.
Elvis you are killing yourself and I don't think you are aware of it. Death isn't the answer. Pills makes it all go away, I know, I did it. I also didn't realize how close to killing myself I was.
You are a good person, you have everything going for you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get help today. I don't want you to die.
Catherine
I was caught "doctor shopping" as well. The doctor that busted me wasn't as kind as your doctor. It sounds like your doctor is a good person and cares about you. Let that doctor help you.
You have been going through some really ruff things, (your father, loosing your home just to name a few. ) "Doctor Shopping" will land you in jail. You sure don't need lawyers, court appearances then off to jail along with everything else you're going through. Prison/Jail is for "Bad Guys" you will not get any type of help there.
Elvis you are killing yourself and I don't think you are aware of it. Death isn't the answer. Pills makes it all go away, I know, I did it. I also didn't realize how close to killing myself I was.
You are a good person, you have everything going for you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get help today. I don't want you to die.
Catherine