Hi everyone
I'm 29 come from a good family no1 has ever used anything I've used and I'm ashamed of myself... It started with some marihuana every here n there than I tried some ecstasy pills which I loved but the interesting thing is I don't want it nor need it or have I ever got addicted to it... Than I started to use coke I've tried some pills (vikes,perks,oxy etc)liked it all i started to use coke more n more in between I tried meth also like it but I'm not addicted to it I don't wanna use it I have no urge to take it but than I tried crack and ;/ that was it now after a year or lil more of smoking it it got out of hands I've realized I'm in deep s*** and I need to stop smoking this s*** but the thing is idk how?? I've tried but got to the point where I really wanted to die I had shakes was sweating I was cold and hot I puked I had to jerk my leg all night long literally didn't know what to do with myself got up in the am and had to go get bag of heroin to snore that's what I do after I smoke crack to relax and that's how I got addicted to both heroin which I snore and crack... I beg u help me and tell me what to do and is it possible to keep it hidden from my family and baby momma if they ever find out it would just b very sad disappointing and I prob wouldn't be able to see my kid and that I wouldn't b able to take so I need to quit somehow without them know and going to rehab! Do I have any changes ??
You can change your life, no doubt, but it won't be easy. I hate to burst your bubble about your family not knowing belive me they know. As far as getting help here is a few suggestions: Go to your family trust that they love you and only want the best for you: You could try to attend a NA meeting and ask for help. Its free and wonderful sober caring loving people can love you till you love yourself. Rehab did me alot of good but hey it's not for everyone. You can have a happy life and be sober only if you reach out and get help. You are worth it and if nothing changes nothing changes.Hugs
Jessica
Jessica
I appreciate your advice and that at least 1 person is tryn to help... Weather my family knows or not cuz that idk I hope they don't I cannot go to rehab so I hope there is some other way to quit this garbage without my siblings and most important my baby mother to find abt my addiction because she will take my kid away... U may think this scum takes care of his kid while being high but I'm totally different when I have her she's being taken care of 110% u would do anything for her and she comes first b4 anything... I feel terrible having his problem cuz like I said earlier no1 from my family had ever problem like this or even used drugs I guess I'm the black sheep ;( it started slow as I guess it does with every1 and all of a sudden got out of hands and b4 I knew it I got a problem now ;( makes me wanna cry... All those Channels I watched thinkn how they can't just quit blah blah it cannot happen to me etc and here we go ;( so I wanna quit ASAP and go back to my normal life even tho it wasn't perfect (maybe that's why I started this crap) it was way better well healthier and cheaper than now... I'm afraid abt withdraw etc what do I do when I get sick sweat puke shake etc u know how it goes what do I do to go thru it without using drug to feel better... I appreciate every1 who responds and will suggest anything whoever discovered or made drugs I hope he/she/they r burning in hell
Im on the way out the door to a meeting but will write more later. You'r not alone!
Girl today is dead right your family might not know what drug your on but they know ur taking some drug, when your clean u can spot a druggie a mile away. At least your not Shooting thats something i suppose, been there done that. You have one very long and hard road, i'm only just started my road. Its Hard. To get clean you will have to put up with 7 -10 days of the crap, hot,cold sweats no hunger so you must lock yourself away for the duration and have no responsabilities so you can heal, ive done it once from hammer its f.......... hard, good luck.
Hey thanks for writing again I appreciate that you're taking your time to write to someone you don't even know... Yeah I guess I can agree you can spot druggy from mile away however there are people who would never ever think that I'm taking anything because I drive very nice car I'm always clean But anyways I guess I'm going to have to go to that meeting you mentioned And see how that goes I guess the only thing I'm afraid the most is how to survive those 7-10 or whatever days going through all that s*** And of course without passing out or god for bit dying I know it's not to be easy after those 10 days but I think and I'm afraid that's the worst and hardest part to go through that I just don't know how I'm going to do that. Can I take some pills while I'm going through that to get less sick or I just have to do it dry? I mentioned in my first post I was sick once already so I know how it is and I just didn't know what to do it myself I'm afraid something might happen. Well if it's meant to happen it will happen I guess But one thing for sure I will definitely try And hopefully it'll work out So I guess I will let you know how things are going what's again I appreciate your advice and I wish you best of luck Be strong God be with you
Ha I wish there was a magic pill for withdraws but nope there is'nt. We all thought there was an easier softer way to get of the big hole we've put our sefls in. Your gonna have to "man up" and just be sick. The worst of it will last 4-5 days. Its kinda like the bad flu. But it can be done others here have and still are going through some tuff s*** but we love and support them just like you cause we know how crappy if feels to do what your doing. Your proably not even getting high by now, just not dope sick? Been there and I make a choice to go to NA to just sit and listen what the heel i could go high and leave when I wanted. I saved my life that day. Cause NA helped and still helps me to stay sober.
I also would say but I'm a great mom and I really always belived that I was a supermom. I had money, I had cars, bills were paid yada yada. Say this to yourself. "I'm a good dad when I'm high on herion" Your disease is lying to you, the drugs is ment to trick your brain right? Thats what the crap does takes your sole man. Being a good parent is not doing dope. It's being there to kiss the boo'boos, being there to tuck them in at night, doing fun actives, and really do you think your daughter wants this life for you? I did'nt want to see my dad messed up and I did more times than I can count. When your getting and using drugs that is taking time away from her. You will get to a point if you keep using where she won't matter, You won't be there cause this is a fact I promise if you keep using 3 things will happen 1.Death 2.Jail 3.mental hospital.
Save your life today! You can go to NA online to talk 24/7 if you want. The meetings keep me sane and sober. Just please do something to help yourself you are woth it! Lots of hugs, prayers,and love are sent to you!
Step 1: We are powerless over addiction and our lives are unmanageable.
You've made a big leap by just posting and asking for help. Thats HUGE!
I also would say but I'm a great mom and I really always belived that I was a supermom. I had money, I had cars, bills were paid yada yada. Say this to yourself. "I'm a good dad when I'm high on herion" Your disease is lying to you, the drugs is ment to trick your brain right? Thats what the crap does takes your sole man. Being a good parent is not doing dope. It's being there to kiss the boo'boos, being there to tuck them in at night, doing fun actives, and really do you think your daughter wants this life for you? I did'nt want to see my dad messed up and I did more times than I can count. When your getting and using drugs that is taking time away from her. You will get to a point if you keep using where she won't matter, You won't be there cause this is a fact I promise if you keep using 3 things will happen 1.Death 2.Jail 3.mental hospital.
Save your life today! You can go to NA online to talk 24/7 if you want. The meetings keep me sane and sober. Just please do something to help yourself you are woth it! Lots of hugs, prayers,and love are sent to you!
Step 1: We are powerless over addiction and our lives are unmanageable.
You've made a big leap by just posting and asking for help. Thats HUGE!
Thanks again for ur post!! After I read it I had few tears in my eyes! I know I'm a good person with a good soft heart and idk why im taking it really but what i do know and realized is that this is gone tooo far and I wanna end it and have normality with my life etc if I'm not gonna do it I will die sooner than I want and other things u mentioned as well so it's time to do smthn. Drugs are garbage and even tho they make ppl feel good IT IS NOT WORTH IT PERIOD. Take care ;-)
Best fo luck Timeforachange, the money and accessiors mean nothing if your dead, i got a large inheritence 2 years ago that made me reuse, worst thing i di after4 years clean. You make me wan't to cry! Good luck mate, thinking of you rory.
Brother, I am with you 100%. I don't know what heroin feels like and because of my dealings with crack, I damn sure don't want to. I wish there was something that I could do about your withdrawals because that will mess up your secret with your family.
I've read the posts of others and I still fear my secret getting to any of them. My mom will cry herself to death. My girlfriend will leave me, and my daughter's mom will take her from me. I don't trust anyone to keep they damn mouth shut and to give me the "help" i need to kick it. I told my roommate and she's annoying the hell out of me, especially with her drinking every damn day!
I have scheduled an appointment with a regular counselor, just to talk about my other problems outside of crack addiction...that will get me talking about my feelings and emotions. But when it comes to me talking and discussing my crack addiction, I have this message board and NA's hotline. You like me, we cannot afford to let this get out.
I believe in you. I don't know how withdrawals effect you, so I'm not going to talk out of my behind and start suggesting things. Anything is possible. God bro...God can do so many things. Perhaps embracing this stage in your life to be someone that will help others later may give you a different mindset...its helping me cope with how much I done f***ed up.
Keep me posted.
I've read the posts of others and I still fear my secret getting to any of them. My mom will cry herself to death. My girlfriend will leave me, and my daughter's mom will take her from me. I don't trust anyone to keep they damn mouth shut and to give me the "help" i need to kick it. I told my roommate and she's annoying the hell out of me, especially with her drinking every damn day!
I have scheduled an appointment with a regular counselor, just to talk about my other problems outside of crack addiction...that will get me talking about my feelings and emotions. But when it comes to me talking and discussing my crack addiction, I have this message board and NA's hotline. You like me, we cannot afford to let this get out.
I believe in you. I don't know how withdrawals effect you, so I'm not going to talk out of my behind and start suggesting things. Anything is possible. God bro...God can do so many things. Perhaps embracing this stage in your life to be someone that will help others later may give you a different mindset...its helping me cope with how much I done f***ed up.
Keep me posted.
girltoday, God bless you for putting this out there
"I also would say but I'm a great mom and I really always belived that I was a supermom. I had money, I had cars, bills were paid yada yada. Say this to yourself. "I'm a good dad when I'm high on herion" Your disease is lying to you, the drugs is ment to trick your brain right? Thats what the crap does takes your sole man. Being a good parent is not doing dope. It's being there to kiss the boo'boos, being there to tuck them in at night, doing fun actives, and really do you think your daughter wants this life for you? I did'nt want to see my dad messed up and I did more times than I can count. When your getting and using drugs that is taking time away from her. You will get to a point if you keep using where she won't matter, You won't be there cause this is a fact I promise if you keep using 3 things will happen 1.Death 2.Jail 3.mental hospital. "
I kept thinking that I could get by and no one sees me. But the drug has lied to me. My soul although good has been compromised by me rationalizing what I should not in order to get a temporary high. Now's the time to stop before she gets older. Lost enough time.
Thank you
"I also would say but I'm a great mom and I really always belived that I was a supermom. I had money, I had cars, bills were paid yada yada. Say this to yourself. "I'm a good dad when I'm high on herion" Your disease is lying to you, the drugs is ment to trick your brain right? Thats what the crap does takes your sole man. Being a good parent is not doing dope. It's being there to kiss the boo'boos, being there to tuck them in at night, doing fun actives, and really do you think your daughter wants this life for you? I did'nt want to see my dad messed up and I did more times than I can count. When your getting and using drugs that is taking time away from her. You will get to a point if you keep using where she won't matter, You won't be there cause this is a fact I promise if you keep using 3 things will happen 1.Death 2.Jail 3.mental hospital. "
I kept thinking that I could get by and no one sees me. But the drug has lied to me. My soul although good has been compromised by me rationalizing what I should not in order to get a temporary high. Now's the time to stop before she gets older. Lost enough time.
Thank you
I bumped my post about how I got to NA for you guys please check it out it's under 100 days. I know the guilt is hovering around your mind but after time in recovery and doing the next right thing, you WILL slowly forgive yourself for all those that youve harmed by your addiction. Your not by any means a bad person just sick. Keep posting and reading and rereading it helps to know others care and belive in you. Hugs and love are sent your way. Your never alone!
WELCOME TO ARG!
Jessica
WELCOME TO ARG!
Jessica
Hi everyone and thanks for posting You know where all the same boat And we all know how hard it is Quit whatever we use but we have to think about the consequences and What.will do to the ones who loves us. I never thought of this before but not only that I'm hurting myself I'm hurt and then even more Even though they don't know what I do I'm still hurting them and I don't want to keep doing that I mean why would my parents raised me I got beautiful daughter Which God blessed me with And no instead of thanking him for that I'm doing the opposite and disappointing him and everyone around me And hurting them at the same time! I'm just posting this crying Chris this is so messed up you guys make me cry just by responding to my post and wishing me well even though hi guys don't no me. So guys every time we're going through this s***ty feeling withdraws or whatever else we have Let's think about the ones were hurting and the people who are posting on this website and supporting us maybe that will help us to go through I know it's easy to say but hey everything's possible I mean everything's possible Cuz if we were really really want it we will do it I believe and everyone of you and I hope you guys will make it I don't know how I'm going to do this but I'm going to do this I have to Love you all
You have to really really really want it. No one can do it for you. I can only give you support and love. All the hard stuff is up to you. Even if you have to say ok i wont use the next 5 minutes then the next 5 minutes then the next and so on. Never lose hope and think about the other side. You only have to go through withdraws once if you want to. Im praying for ya buddy. One day at A Time:)
Jessica
Jessica
So You went through withdraw yourself right? How was your body reacting what did you do did you just sleep all day? You think it would help to take something for flu like antibiotic or smthn? You think that would help or no? Thanks hammer3 and scdad for ur posts hammer3---> I don't know you obviously but man if you were next to me right now I'm sorry but I would just punch you for using it again after four years :( and scdad---> Yeah seems like you are at the same exact spot as I am Meaning our family or baby mama cannot find out at all And let's hope and pray that they won't I keep my fingers crossed for all of ya b strong
To Timeforachange,
Yeah i know, i'm at day6 with some meds to help from the doc but i once i'm done with it this time that's it forever, i rue that stupid stupid decision every day. It was just ther in front of me i didn't go chasing but cos of a little trauma i make the 2nd worst decision in my life, that's why i'm so determined this time. Hopefully it never happens to you.
Yeah i know, i'm at day6 with some meds to help from the doc but i once i'm done with it this time that's it forever, i rue that stupid stupid decision every day. It was just ther in front of me i didn't go chasing but cos of a little trauma i make the 2nd worst decision in my life, that's why i'm so determined this time. Hopefully it never happens to you.
timeforchange - don't beat yourself down too much. big reason why i'm taking the approach that i'm taking. i woke up this morning with no regrets, only determination to stay positive and keep myself busy to deter me from craving.
the urges game..a few split seconds of feeling that initial rush of my first blast..and right when i wanted it, i thought about my daughter and forced myself to stay on point...i thought about you and the other posters. I even called the NA line and talked to a great volunteer that helped me have a new point of few in addressing NA and my recovery.
please don't beat yourself up. God can't work through you if you keep punching yourself or kicking yourself in the nuts.
set a goal...like mine is to become a rehab counselor to help others..in the time being i'm teachin myself web design so i can put out websites that help other people...and to replace all the money i done blown chasing addiction.....
hope this helps...keep me posted. Day two was great for me...responding to you is the icing on the cake...now back to the Heat/Clipper game..LOL
the urges game..a few split seconds of feeling that initial rush of my first blast..and right when i wanted it, i thought about my daughter and forced myself to stay on point...i thought about you and the other posters. I even called the NA line and talked to a great volunteer that helped me have a new point of few in addressing NA and my recovery.
please don't beat yourself up. God can't work through you if you keep punching yourself or kicking yourself in the nuts.
set a goal...like mine is to become a rehab counselor to help others..in the time being i'm teachin myself web design so i can put out websites that help other people...and to replace all the money i done blown chasing addiction.....
hope this helps...keep me posted. Day two was great for me...responding to you is the icing on the cake...now back to the Heat/Clipper game..LOL
Hi guys,
Hard afternoon shift yesterday, thought day 7 would be easier but not good had to delegate some of my work to some other boys to get through it. But i did so it must be that the tapering from the pills for help had a bit of bite in it, although slept well and had a good meal. Thank god for 2 days off to re gather the body a bit going for a surf now to wear my self out. Good luck to all you other guys fighting hard too.
Hard afternoon shift yesterday, thought day 7 would be easier but not good had to delegate some of my work to some other boys to get through it. But i did so it must be that the tapering from the pills for help had a bit of bite in it, although slept well and had a good meal. Thank god for 2 days off to re gather the body a bit going for a surf now to wear my self out. Good luck to all you other guys fighting hard too.
Timeforachange, Been reading your posts as a ex user it takes time to get off dreaded drugs, pyshically then you have the mental aspect of it that stays with you for a long time. I personally think you're looking at it in the wrong way and to rip into other's that are being honest about their addictions is your anger that you should keep to yourself, i highly doubt that you will succeed with that attitude, Although i hope and wish i'm wrong and you can be a winner first time around. Good luck and best wishes.
Out there:what do u mean by sayn wrong attitude etc? Since u been thru this and not using anymore maybe u can throw some tips suggestions or w/e else to help me out! All I'm afraid of is the stage one going thru withdraw I was asking ppl when I get sick if I can use something for flu or some antibiotic since the symptoms are similar or do I have to do it dry without anything? Or maybe i can just take few vikes etc to ease the pain idk u know a lot more thats why im askn? How did u do that? Did u go to rehab? I can't do that unfortunately I'm hoping to do it without rehab I know it's possible but please tell me how if i know? I guess I give up too easy and that's another thing I have to fight but impossible is nothing
