Can anyone help me? Actually i posted this thread on another message board but the one i posted it to is out of town right now and i need some advice and facts right away....thank you for any input MARY
Dear CO,
I have never written to you directly before as i know you usually shoot straight from the hip and have little tolerance or empathy when dealing with an addict that refuses to change and manipulates others to both secure his addiction and rescue him when he inevitably Fs up.
You are however very boned up and factual about addiction from A to Z and so i need to ask you a question.
The ex bf has been smoking weed steadily from his last PO visit which was the the 5th of January...as the weeks ensued i noticed his intake and the amount he has been smoking increasing as well. I saw him last this past Saturday which would have been the 4th of February...he told me he was going to stop as of Sunday (2/5) but the amount of pot he had that day and the non stop way he was sucking it in....leaving the movie theater for 45 minutes during the movie to get re buzzed and then smoking in the car on the drive home back to my place...suggested to me that it seemed unlikely that he would just suddenly stop the following day.....also he didn't come in and stay over that Saturday nite as he usually would and said he was just going home to bed as he was tired.
I called over at his place 2 hours later and he still hadn't come in and he lives about 8 minutes away from my place.....i haven't heard from him all week which is unusual as i figured he must have stopped by now as his next PO visit is on March the 2nd and will have a UA then.
From what you have read from the above do you think he will still be able to pass his next UA test? Of course as always he denies still doing heroin but he used to be so careful in the beginning just to smoke a couple of days worth of pot and not blatantly do it in public much less driving (with a front missing turn signal no less)....but this last month he has been buying more and more and avoiding me as well as his landlords as much as possible.
He used to come over here all the time as he had nothing to do or money to do it with but now i never see him and he used to at least come by if only to get laid.
I want to call over there this weekend and see what's up but he hates me talking to his old landlords....one of them actually asked me if i thought he was drinking (he abhors alcohol) as he avoids them and when they saw him last he looked like a 'vagrant' as she put it. If he isn't at home then i start thinking he is with another woman that he swears is not the case as well
Some woman on another recovery site said her ex husband used to drink a gallon of water and a cap full of bleach before his UA test when smoking weed to pass it.
It is terrible to say but for my sake and obsession with him i wish he would fail the test and get sent to prison for 9 months as the Judge said he would send the ex bf out of state and that way i would not be able to visit him and couldn't afford calls from him and it would be a kind of forced 'detox' for me from him..
Sorry to bother you with such blather...but given the facts
of his case...could you offer any insight
i am getting a little nutty again
and need some good orderly direction
the weekend are always the worst for me
luv MARY
P.S. even tho they say pot is not addictive in of in itself i find that no matter how much the ex bf tries to control his usage he always winds smoking more and more and when he stops he is extremely moody and unkind even tho he doesn't attribute it to the pot withdrawal....i think he uses the pot to help with his heroin WD that he has been shooting up for 30 years and tries to substitute pot smoking for the heroin now that he is on probation but i think he is using heroin as well
It's time to move on and put this loser behind you, hon. Actually it's way past time.
Giving up on someone you love, or are in love with, can be as hard as giving up any addiction. Perhaps if you view him as your Drug of Choice you can employ some of the tricks and techniques common to all recovery methods. I can tell by the literacy of your posts you are an intellegent woman, ramp up your self esteem and get on with a new life with a man who is worthwhile, you deserve more respect than he can ever give you.
Giving up on someone you love, or are in love with, can be as hard as giving up any addiction. Perhaps if you view him as your Drug of Choice you can employ some of the tricks and techniques common to all recovery methods. I can tell by the literacy of your posts you are an intellegent woman, ramp up your self esteem and get on with a new life with a man who is worthwhile, you deserve more respect than he can ever give you.
From what you have said, there is no way he is going to pass a drug test. He is going to keep thinking that he is smarter and wiser and he is going to screw up. (Which he already has.)
You do deserve better. He doesn't even love himself.
You do deserve better. He doesn't even love himself.
