Hi, everyone
I need your help....
My son tore cartilage in his knee 17 years ago and never had surgery on it because he was only 13 at the time. It gives him problems from time to time and on Monday it locked when he was coming down the stairs at full throttle and he injured it...we're not sure of the extent yet. It is extremely swollen. The doctor, knowing he became addicted to pain medicine (vicodin and oxycontin) and ended up a heroin addict, only put him on 3 (200 mg) Advil 3 or 4 times a day. It's not working my son said. He's in a lot of pain. My son said that he understands the doctor and my concerns about using something stronger, but he would let me be in control of the stuff he just needs some relief from the pain. He said it hurts so bad at times (especially when he's had to walk to the bathroom or slept with it in one position for a long period) that he gets sick in his stomach. The Advil could be causing some of that.
My question...if it was you and you had had these addiction problems...do you think using a pain medication (opiate) under supervision as prescribed could make you desire to use again? Please be honest.
Love,
Susan
"My son said that he understands the doctor and my concerns about using something stronger, but he would let me be in control of the stuff he just needs some relief from the pain."
Susan,
Just food for thought....the 'dragon' of addiction will always remain within us even if it is sleeping and in its dormant stage...but 'feeding' it only once could be enough for it to wrestle itself from its slumber only wanting to be 'fed' more.
If your son did opt to take pain killers to alleviate his pain then despite the fact that you would be the one administering them to him...the element of 'control' would still be within his realm of jurisdiction....in that.. God forbid his 'dragon' reawakened itself and its hunger grew then what would prevent your son from looking for even more added relief elsewhere (the street) without your awareness.
you have to stop and think long and hard...being extremely honest with yourself here.....is it your injured son that is asking you to be the safe dispenser of his pain medicine or the unconscious addict trying to hoodwink his poor mom without even realizing it himself to be the 'front' for a good excuse to secure some of that good old DOC.
ask your son Susan and yourself if the pain in his knee is proving as life threatening and with as much potential for the severe consequences he suffered while he was in active addiction.?
love MARY
Susan,
Just food for thought....the 'dragon' of addiction will always remain within us even if it is sleeping and in its dormant stage...but 'feeding' it only once could be enough for it to wrestle itself from its slumber only wanting to be 'fed' more.
If your son did opt to take pain killers to alleviate his pain then despite the fact that you would be the one administering them to him...the element of 'control' would still be within his realm of jurisdiction....in that.. God forbid his 'dragon' reawakened itself and its hunger grew then what would prevent your son from looking for even more added relief elsewhere (the street) without your awareness.
you have to stop and think long and hard...being extremely honest with yourself here.....is it your injured son that is asking you to be the safe dispenser of his pain medicine or the unconscious addict trying to hoodwink his poor mom without even realizing it himself to be the 'front' for a good excuse to secure some of that good old DOC.
ask your son Susan and yourself if the pain in his knee is proving as life threatening and with as much potential for the severe consequences he suffered while he was in active addiction.?
love MARY
Dear Mary,
After being put through what my son has put me through and all the manipulation I can honestly say that your concerns were my concerns. I can, however, tell you that he did get tears in his eyes from the pain when he sat down the one time, and he fights the tears...he's Mr. Macho Man. I believe the only other time I've seen him cry since he was a young man was at his Pop-Pop's viewing and then he started and ran out the door. My husband had a hard time finding him because he just kept running.
The doctor, being the wise man that he is, told us that he wants him just on Advil because it's enough to take the edge off the pain and make it bearable but it keeps him in enough pain to keep him more immobile. I KNOW the addiction also played a part in his decision but he didn't bring it up. My son was fine with the doctor's decision and I am RELIEVED!!!! Of course, I don't want to see my son in unnecessary pain BUT it don't want that sleeping dragon to wake up again!
Thanks again for taking the time to voice your thoughts and concerns. You're very kind and helpful.
Love,
Susan
After being put through what my son has put me through and all the manipulation I can honestly say that your concerns were my concerns. I can, however, tell you that he did get tears in his eyes from the pain when he sat down the one time, and he fights the tears...he's Mr. Macho Man. I believe the only other time I've seen him cry since he was a young man was at his Pop-Pop's viewing and then he started and ran out the door. My husband had a hard time finding him because he just kept running.
The doctor, being the wise man that he is, told us that he wants him just on Advil because it's enough to take the edge off the pain and make it bearable but it keeps him in enough pain to keep him more immobile. I KNOW the addiction also played a part in his decision but he didn't bring it up. My son was fine with the doctor's decision and I am RELIEVED!!!! Of course, I don't want to see my son in unnecessary pain BUT it don't want that sleeping dragon to wake up again!
Thanks again for taking the time to voice your thoughts and concerns. You're very kind and helpful.
Love,
Susan
Oh Susan..........that so stinks....your poor son........ligaments, and cartilage or any knee stuff just stinks and it is painful.
I have to mention too I popped in to see how Jack's lady friend is, and I was wondering how Kitty made out with the nut man, and nobody is having a good time of it at all.......full moon..........Harvest moon.......yuck.
Mary had alot of good points, but ME, and this is ME.......I wouldn't tell no dang Doctor nothing about my addiction, and I warned my family, and friends if I was in pain in any way........they better just keep their mouths shut, and I would let them handle the medicine.
I'm sorry, but your son didn't RE-injure his knee on purpose.......to tell the truth if I hurt myself......and I had a broken knee cap, and I actually have a ACL tear.........real mild, and it don't hurt, and it's small, but if I sit like Indian style or sleep wrong it locks, and man it hurts then.
Here's a thought............honestly if I had that, and nobody would give me medication, and I was in physical pain I would go out and buy dope.....yes I would......I would hop to get it......I'd need to find out where to get it since I am out of the loop...........but I'd be so PO'd I was in pain.........yes I would go cop.
I think it would be safer you go with him, and talk to the Doctor, and explain it would be in your control.....now he may get a nice high from it, and then there'll be a fight he wants more.............OR OR OR........he takes it as directed, and you tell him if just ONCE he veers off course you flush it right in his prescence.
NOBODY NOBODY should EVER be in pain.......that's just my opinion, and thank God I have not been hurt to where I would need it.......I had a migraine not too long ago, and ate Excedrins like crazy, but I knew if I went for med's at that point I'd do myself in..........but that is a sometimes occurence....his injury right now is hurting 24/7........PLUS that Advil/Motrin/Naprosen stuff kills my stomach and does nada.........just my opinion......I hope it works out, and you guys come to some happy medium.
Thinking of you!!!!
I have to mention too I popped in to see how Jack's lady friend is, and I was wondering how Kitty made out with the nut man, and nobody is having a good time of it at all.......full moon..........Harvest moon.......yuck.
Mary had alot of good points, but ME, and this is ME.......I wouldn't tell no dang Doctor nothing about my addiction, and I warned my family, and friends if I was in pain in any way........they better just keep their mouths shut, and I would let them handle the medicine.
I'm sorry, but your son didn't RE-injure his knee on purpose.......to tell the truth if I hurt myself......and I had a broken knee cap, and I actually have a ACL tear.........real mild, and it don't hurt, and it's small, but if I sit like Indian style or sleep wrong it locks, and man it hurts then.
Here's a thought............honestly if I had that, and nobody would give me medication, and I was in physical pain I would go out and buy dope.....yes I would......I would hop to get it......I'd need to find out where to get it since I am out of the loop...........but I'd be so PO'd I was in pain.........yes I would go cop.
I think it would be safer you go with him, and talk to the Doctor, and explain it would be in your control.....now he may get a nice high from it, and then there'll be a fight he wants more.............OR OR OR........he takes it as directed, and you tell him if just ONCE he veers off course you flush it right in his prescence.
NOBODY NOBODY should EVER be in pain.......that's just my opinion, and thank God I have not been hurt to where I would need it.......I had a migraine not too long ago, and ate Excedrins like crazy, but I knew if I went for med's at that point I'd do myself in..........but that is a sometimes occurence....his injury right now is hurting 24/7........PLUS that Advil/Motrin/Naprosen stuff kills my stomach and does nada.........just my opinion......I hope it works out, and you guys come to some happy medium.
Thinking of you!!!!
Dear Bryn,
Thanks for your response. I too hate to see someone in pain when there is relief available but then you worry that they could be putting some of the pain on to get something. I truly don't feel he was. He was a trooper until woke up the next morning and his knee was TERRIBLY swollen.
The doctor he WANTED to go to was the doctor that knew about his addiction problem. Once, when he was in a car accident (since he was in recovery) and he needed to go to therapy for his neck, he had to see a different doctor in the group. I told the doctor he saw about his addiction and she STILL prescribed medication she shouldn't. The other doctor followed up and was very pleased that my son only took 1/2 of one of the pills she prescribed. I think he feared he would be pulled back into it.
I don't think in any way shape or form that he intentionally hurt himself to get the meds. He had plans to go away to the Rennaissance Fair (which he has loved since he was in grade school) this weekend and you have to do a LOT of walking there. Also they said when he injured it it took him about 10 minutes to get his wits about him....it hurt SO BAD! I was very proud of him when I told him what the doctor said and he didn't argue about it. To be honest I was afraid that if the pain stayed so intense and he couldn't get any relief that he would call some "drug" friends and get some. Thank God things are easing up. He still can't put much weight on it but he's improving. I don't know if that means he tore cartilage or not this time because when he tore it before he walked on it for several days. It wasn't until the swelling didn't go down for about a week that we had the MRI done on it. One day at a time!
Love,
Susan
Thanks for your response. I too hate to see someone in pain when there is relief available but then you worry that they could be putting some of the pain on to get something. I truly don't feel he was. He was a trooper until woke up the next morning and his knee was TERRIBLY swollen.
The doctor he WANTED to go to was the doctor that knew about his addiction problem. Once, when he was in a car accident (since he was in recovery) and he needed to go to therapy for his neck, he had to see a different doctor in the group. I told the doctor he saw about his addiction and she STILL prescribed medication she shouldn't. The other doctor followed up and was very pleased that my son only took 1/2 of one of the pills she prescribed. I think he feared he would be pulled back into it.
I don't think in any way shape or form that he intentionally hurt himself to get the meds. He had plans to go away to the Rennaissance Fair (which he has loved since he was in grade school) this weekend and you have to do a LOT of walking there. Also they said when he injured it it took him about 10 minutes to get his wits about him....it hurt SO BAD! I was very proud of him when I told him what the doctor said and he didn't argue about it. To be honest I was afraid that if the pain stayed so intense and he couldn't get any relief that he would call some "drug" friends and get some. Thank God things are easing up. He still can't put much weight on it but he's improving. I don't know if that means he tore cartilage or not this time because when he tore it before he walked on it for several days. It wasn't until the swelling didn't go down for about a week that we had the MRI done on it. One day at a time!
Love,
Susan
