Hi all, well done to everyone for your recoveries and I wish you all well on your way.
My bf of 8 years has been smoking heroin for the last year, he's come off it alone once or twice without me knowing and he's now ready to be rid of it for good, especially for our little daughter who's 9 months old. I knew he had smoked crack, but it is only now he's told me to what extent it has got, although I knew something was up. We're seeking support from groups of people who have been through it and from counciling to help the deamons that haunt him and to find the strength he needs. He's planning to detox this weekend and I have promised 100% commitment to him.
Please can someone tell me what I can do to ease his pain through this (what I could say or do or offer) and what to expect. I've only ever snorted cocaine and that was for a short period, I haven't done any 'drugs' for about 3 years now.
Please help me.
HI Katie,
Have you ever seen opiate wd before, so not pretty.
One of the best things I can tell you not to take this personal...WD is brutal, try to keep it out of your head. And seperate yourself from the madness.
There are some OTC things that help take the edge off a bit, but mostly he has to just get through it and keep it gone. Actually wd will be the easy part it is staying clean is much harder.....
As you are looking into things to help him I would like to tell you that there is support out there for you. There is really nothing you can do for him except support and love, most of anything else teeters on the line of enabling which just serves to keep them trapped longer.
If he wants this he will get it done, and it must be for him. Your little one will be a nice reminder of what is most important but he really must want this done and over for him.....
You didn't cause this, can't cure him and have no CONTROL.....
Take good care of you and your little one. That is most important to every day.
Love,
Tina
A link click it for some things that might help make wd more tolerable...
http://addictionrecoveryguide.com/m...=19&t=31419&hl=
Have you ever seen opiate wd before, so not pretty.
One of the best things I can tell you not to take this personal...WD is brutal, try to keep it out of your head. And seperate yourself from the madness.
There are some OTC things that help take the edge off a bit, but mostly he has to just get through it and keep it gone. Actually wd will be the easy part it is staying clean is much harder.....
As you are looking into things to help him I would like to tell you that there is support out there for you. There is really nothing you can do for him except support and love, most of anything else teeters on the line of enabling which just serves to keep them trapped longer.
If he wants this he will get it done, and it must be for him. Your little one will be a nice reminder of what is most important but he really must want this done and over for him.....
You didn't cause this, can't cure him and have no CONTROL.....
Take good care of you and your little one. That is most important to every day.
Love,
Tina
A link click it for some things that might help make wd more tolerable...
http://addictionrecoveryguide.com/m...=19&t=31419&hl=
as for withdraw being brutal i hate to dis agree with anyone on this site but, if he's not a heavy user only snorting "now and then" it may not be so awful. It will not be easy either, just don't get scared and belive the way movies make H wd look it is crappy but, movies make it out to be more then it is.. but, as Tina said it's the easy part! staying clean is a TON HARDER!
I always shot up the 1st few times i had withdrawns were easier then the later w/d, once i was heavy into using and using YEARS several shots a DAY the wd were TERRIBLE. I've heard time and time again the more times you stop the harder it gets. My 1st withdraws were sweating musscle pain irration generally angry feelings. Later withdraws were vomit, leg pains, sweating, could not even drink water my body rejected everything, deep depression, runny nose, headachs exc. It is diffrent 4 everyone to some extent. Be prepared he may not feel like himself for a while and may be not be so pleasent to get along with. I did not like anyone touching me while i was wd'ing. As for how you can help him just remember you can not fix him you can not MAKE him stop neither can his lil daughter. He will have to do it mostly alone on his own, that's just how it is. He should go to meeting get support and fight to get his life back, it's a hard road to travel. He may very well have a slip up along the way most everyone dose. The best help you can be to him is by getting yourself together going to family meetings and educating yourself about addiction and the addict focas on you! let him focas on him. I wish him luck tell him this board will always welcome him.
I always shot up the 1st few times i had withdrawns were easier then the later w/d, once i was heavy into using and using YEARS several shots a DAY the wd were TERRIBLE. I've heard time and time again the more times you stop the harder it gets. My 1st withdraws were sweating musscle pain irration generally angry feelings. Later withdraws were vomit, leg pains, sweating, could not even drink water my body rejected everything, deep depression, runny nose, headachs exc. It is diffrent 4 everyone to some extent. Be prepared he may not feel like himself for a while and may be not be so pleasent to get along with. I did not like anyone touching me while i was wd'ing. As for how you can help him just remember you can not fix him you can not MAKE him stop neither can his lil daughter. He will have to do it mostly alone on his own, that's just how it is. He should go to meeting get support and fight to get his life back, it's a hard road to travel. He may very well have a slip up along the way most everyone dose. The best help you can be to him is by getting yourself together going to family meetings and educating yourself about addiction and the addict focas on you! let him focas on him. I wish him luck tell him this board will always welcome him.
Thanks so much for you advice. We're really doing this - together. I've told him that I will not walk away from him when he needs me most but he know for the sake of our daughter (and me!!) there's only so much I can do before I walk away. But, the emphasis is not that. I know that for me I will have to take away all my recent troubles and hurt from him doing this to him/me/us and be there completely for him.
He's sure he's going to do this and I have to give him 100% faith. I am scared but thanks for the reassurance that it can be done and isn't as bad as the movies. He's now smoking daily, but only for the last few weeks. It first started about a year ago and progressively has got worse until now theres dependancy.
We're going for lots of support to help prevent a relapse, and we're stocked up for the weekend fo wd.
I know this has to all come from him, but I hope with my full support he'll know that this pain will be worth it and there is a light at the other side.
I never knew it was this bad. I knew he'd done crack a few times but I didn't know until a couple of days ago that he was truly dependant on heroin. Not that the signs weren't there of course.
Thanks for letting me ramble it's good to feel like people are listening when there's few you can talk to.
He's sure he's going to do this and I have to give him 100% faith. I am scared but thanks for the reassurance that it can be done and isn't as bad as the movies. He's now smoking daily, but only for the last few weeks. It first started about a year ago and progressively has got worse until now theres dependancy.
We're going for lots of support to help prevent a relapse, and we're stocked up for the weekend fo wd.
I know this has to all come from him, but I hope with my full support he'll know that this pain will be worth it and there is a light at the other side.
I never knew it was this bad. I knew he'd done crack a few times but I didn't know until a couple of days ago that he was truly dependant on heroin. Not that the signs weren't there of course.
Thanks for letting me ramble it's good to feel like people are listening when there's few you can talk to.
Morning,
Zerogirl you can disagree with me anytime, I am here to learn.
This is always difficult for me. I see that we are in this together and my god at times my heart just breaks. Together, is a relative term....
I don't want those who have no conception of wd to see what I did, and be unprepared. I walked in with that 100% faith and hope and well that would have been me anyway. And my god it was as it should have been I guess havoc. My husband I am guessing went a better route as the doctor knew, gave him clonidine and gave me a talk of what it would be like. I was reading here at the time and the pill board and I will swear no one said hallucinations. That wasn't pretty. So that is one reason I write what I do.
OMG and it does get worse each time you kick. Just watching I got a good education......the hubby taught me very well.
Katie together is this is him working his side, you yours in hopes that the relationship will become stronger. Does it, well it can...
Love and support that is it, not much more....Faith and hope always.
Take good care of you and your child.
Sending prayers for all of you,
Love,
Tina
Zerogirl you can disagree with me anytime, I am here to learn.
This is always difficult for me. I see that we are in this together and my god at times my heart just breaks. Together, is a relative term....
I don't want those who have no conception of wd to see what I did, and be unprepared. I walked in with that 100% faith and hope and well that would have been me anyway. And my god it was as it should have been I guess havoc. My husband I am guessing went a better route as the doctor knew, gave him clonidine and gave me a talk of what it would be like. I was reading here at the time and the pill board and I will swear no one said hallucinations. That wasn't pretty. So that is one reason I write what I do.
OMG and it does get worse each time you kick. Just watching I got a good education......the hubby taught me very well.
Katie together is this is him working his side, you yours in hopes that the relationship will become stronger. Does it, well it can...
Love and support that is it, not much more....Faith and hope always.
Take good care of you and your child.
Sending prayers for all of you,
Love,
Tina
Thank you, I have said my prayers believe me! Please GOD give me the strength to be there, give him the strength to do this! Well it starts tonight from 12:00pm...whatever is left is trashed, burned, flushed...thearupitc maybe?
I've stocked up on anything and everything I can think of to help...I know that to kick it it's mainly from him alone but I can't walk away from the man I love and the father of my baby without knowing I did EVERYTHING I could have.
I feel positive (if scared) and know the light is just waiting for us to step into it!
Continue to find the strength within whenever you're weak.
xx
I've stocked up on anything and everything I can think of to help...I know that to kick it it's mainly from him alone but I can't walk away from the man I love and the father of my baby without knowing I did EVERYTHING I could have.
I feel positive (if scared) and know the light is just waiting for us to step into it!
Continue to find the strength within whenever you're weak.
xx
Katie,
How are you.....
I hope you are ok, and that things are the best they can be right now.
Thinking of you, and what you are watching.
Be good to you and take care,
Love,
Tina
How are you.....
I hope you are ok, and that things are the best they can be right now.
Thinking of you, and what you are watching.
Be good to you and take care,
Love,
Tina
Hi there!
We're OK, at times I'm just wanting to run away and cry - I can't do this! But it's Lee that is doing it. He was fine all day yesterday - very tired and then last night he tossed and turned all night and had about .5 subutex at 6am this morning. Which I didn't want but he was like a man possessed and all my attempts to try something else were wasted. I'm tempted to flush the rest of the subutex (they weren't subscribed) but I don't want reason to go use again - it may be the excuse he needs - I don't know - I know he really really wants to do this. I keep telling him it's only time and he'll never have to do this again, that this is the redemption period and it has to be like this or he'd just continue to use. I keep telling him that it won't be forever.
Right now it's 8:30am (UK time) and he's in bed, not asleep but resting. The subutex seems to have helped - well of course it would. He doesn't want to eat, bath or do anything other than lie there so I guess I'll take his lead. It's soo frustrating I feel like by doing nothing I'm not helping but I guess it's not something that I can control and I feel so helpless and useless.
It was so strange but last night after he had slept most of the day he was quite happy and content and we had a good laugh watching TV. It was so amazing to be looking in his eyes and seeing him again. Cos even though he's lied for so long - I knew that he wasn't right, and finally I'm getting a real smile and it's so dfferent to the smiles we had when he was using.
This is taking everything from me. I don't want to sound selfish but I work from home looking after a busy helpdesk and a baby and now I have to give him everything else of me. There's demands on me from every angle and I'm so so scared that after this he'll relapse and I won't have the strength to continue with him or to walk away and leave him. For him I have to forget all the pain this is causing me, all the anger, frustration and have faith that this will end, to have him back would easily be enough for me to forget all the pain that this has caused me. I know that I'm actually still in shock as I only found out a couple of days ago that it was heroin.
Dear God, please let this end - see us through this.
Does anyone know what affect the Subutex will have on the withdrawl - will it just sofen it but prolong it?...Therefore are we not 'over the hump' by day 4?
Take care, sending prayers and strength
Thank you so much for your support and for just listening x
We're OK, at times I'm just wanting to run away and cry - I can't do this! But it's Lee that is doing it. He was fine all day yesterday - very tired and then last night he tossed and turned all night and had about .5 subutex at 6am this morning. Which I didn't want but he was like a man possessed and all my attempts to try something else were wasted. I'm tempted to flush the rest of the subutex (they weren't subscribed) but I don't want reason to go use again - it may be the excuse he needs - I don't know - I know he really really wants to do this. I keep telling him it's only time and he'll never have to do this again, that this is the redemption period and it has to be like this or he'd just continue to use. I keep telling him that it won't be forever.
Right now it's 8:30am (UK time) and he's in bed, not asleep but resting. The subutex seems to have helped - well of course it would. He doesn't want to eat, bath or do anything other than lie there so I guess I'll take his lead. It's soo frustrating I feel like by doing nothing I'm not helping but I guess it's not something that I can control and I feel so helpless and useless.
It was so strange but last night after he had slept most of the day he was quite happy and content and we had a good laugh watching TV. It was so amazing to be looking in his eyes and seeing him again. Cos even though he's lied for so long - I knew that he wasn't right, and finally I'm getting a real smile and it's so dfferent to the smiles we had when he was using.
This is taking everything from me. I don't want to sound selfish but I work from home looking after a busy helpdesk and a baby and now I have to give him everything else of me. There's demands on me from every angle and I'm so so scared that after this he'll relapse and I won't have the strength to continue with him or to walk away and leave him. For him I have to forget all the pain this is causing me, all the anger, frustration and have faith that this will end, to have him back would easily be enough for me to forget all the pain that this has caused me. I know that I'm actually still in shock as I only found out a couple of days ago that it was heroin.
Dear God, please let this end - see us through this.
Does anyone know what affect the Subutex will have on the withdrawl - will it just sofen it but prolong it?...Therefore are we not 'over the hump' by day 4?
Take care, sending prayers and strength
Thank you so much for your support and for just listening x
Morning Katie....
This shouldn't take anything from you. But that takes some doing. And feeling selfish, no how about just knowing that you are in need of some taking care of YOU......
And there is no control and nothing you really can do to end this for him. That frustration and helplessness is not healthy.....
Time is now, as he works on him you can do the same for you. It does make all the difference in the world and helps to process all those feelings. Which are justifiable but not something you want to stay stuck in...
What can you do, nothing for him, so much for you. Which I hope since it is a weekend that you will find something for you today, some fun with the baby....maybe with a gf as well. And let him be ok. Cause that is a big thing too. In your head let him be ok, don't trip out with the future stuff and this what if he goes back out. That isn't yours, no control there as well. If he does he does, means he just wasn't fully ready to give up that control. This isn't personal, just what his life has become due to his actions, not yours.
The sub will take the edge off. I haven't had anyone close to me just use it just for a few days so I can't tell you what might be left wd wise. In detox they do at times and it will take the edge off....from there well it is individualize. I think though that this couldn't hurt although I hate to this taken without a doctor about.....
God please let this end....Hey you have some control there. You can find a way to make it end. That has nothing to do with leaving, staying, just taking yourself out of the madness, a madness that isn't yours. And just living each day......
Take good care, and just do the best you can for you.....
Love,
Tina
This shouldn't take anything from you. But that takes some doing. And feeling selfish, no how about just knowing that you are in need of some taking care of YOU......
And there is no control and nothing you really can do to end this for him. That frustration and helplessness is not healthy.....
Time is now, as he works on him you can do the same for you. It does make all the difference in the world and helps to process all those feelings. Which are justifiable but not something you want to stay stuck in...
What can you do, nothing for him, so much for you. Which I hope since it is a weekend that you will find something for you today, some fun with the baby....maybe with a gf as well. And let him be ok. Cause that is a big thing too. In your head let him be ok, don't trip out with the future stuff and this what if he goes back out. That isn't yours, no control there as well. If he does he does, means he just wasn't fully ready to give up that control. This isn't personal, just what his life has become due to his actions, not yours.
The sub will take the edge off. I haven't had anyone close to me just use it just for a few days so I can't tell you what might be left wd wise. In detox they do at times and it will take the edge off....from there well it is individualize. I think though that this couldn't hurt although I hate to this taken without a doctor about.....
God please let this end....Hey you have some control there. You can find a way to make it end. That has nothing to do with leaving, staying, just taking yourself out of the madness, a madness that isn't yours. And just living each day......
Take good care, and just do the best you can for you.....
Love,
Tina
Thanks Misty I've taken your advice and tried to just occupy myself with other thoughts. I'm not in much mood for venturing outside and as no one knows what's going on I fear my mood will make them ask too many questions - and I don't want to break down.
I've slept when my daughter has slept. Lee's taken a 2mg sub now had a few hot baths, had some hermal calming tablets, vitamins and liquid calcium and magnesium. Lavender oil in the bath. He's OK, seems like he's got a bad flu and has slept a little.
I've said I will stay up with him..when my daughter was first born I think I got about 6 hours sleep in 7 days - long labour and then the overwhelming shock of seeing a wee one in front of you that you've made.
There's some funny stuff on TV tonight if he'll concentrate enough. Laughter is the best thing for the soul and fantastic for recovery of illness - how it will help in this situation I don't know.
I've slept when my daughter has slept. Lee's taken a 2mg sub now had a few hot baths, had some hermal calming tablets, vitamins and liquid calcium and magnesium. Lavender oil in the bath. He's OK, seems like he's got a bad flu and has slept a little.
I've said I will stay up with him..when my daughter was first born I think I got about 6 hours sleep in 7 days - long labour and then the overwhelming shock of seeing a wee one in front of you that you've made.
There's some funny stuff on TV tonight if he'll concentrate enough. Laughter is the best thing for the soul and fantastic for recovery of illness - how it will help in this situation I don't know.
[EMAIL]
tony_ascott@yahoo.co.uk[/EMAIL]
To Marky Mark & everyone else struggling with the Brown.
My girlfriend & I have just discovered this site, I wish we'd known about it before now, it's a chance to find out what the Doctors don't tell you & probably don't know much about- how many Doctors that you talk to have been there themselves? Well, we're having yet another attempt at the cluck. We've stock piled a mountain of 8 mil subbies. They're brilliant, but there are drawbacks, in as far as you're just swapping one tyrany for another. One that the doctors can control, rather than the daily hassle of meeting the Man. Their positive side is that they are very reducable, you can probably decrease in 1-2 mil increments without too much discomfort. But it does come as a shock when you try to go from 1 mil to nothing. It might seem daft, but the microgram tablets allow you to reduce gradually. You might find yourself needing to halve or quarter the 0.4s, really it's down to how you feel, not anyone else.
What we're going to do is reduce over a period of 7-10 days, with the help of sleeping tablets and valium, but bearing in mind these can both be addictive. We don't wanna replace one habit with another- we just want to be free. We're leaving town to do it- different external stimuli help a lot, but you can find B virtually anywhere in these Isles, so you do have to be strong.
My doctor wanted me to reduce by one mil over a week, for 'stability's sake'. But doing it that way it seems like I would never be clean. You might be pretty knocked about on day 6- sweaty, exhausted and half mad, but you won't have a heroin or subutex addiction, which is, after all, what we want.
The next bit is the staying stopped, paying off debts, repairing friendships, realigning yourself with a healthier lifestyle, dealing with potentially deeply upsetting emotional problems that may come flooding back without our strong friend... Hopefully you've cracked it by now, and are able to deal with the 'brave new world'. If you haven't, just keep trying, and learn from the unsuccessful attempts- they're not a waste of time. Good luck from us.
Tony
tony_ascott@yahoo.co.uk[/EMAIL]
To Marky Mark & everyone else struggling with the Brown.
My girlfriend & I have just discovered this site, I wish we'd known about it before now, it's a chance to find out what the Doctors don't tell you & probably don't know much about- how many Doctors that you talk to have been there themselves? Well, we're having yet another attempt at the cluck. We've stock piled a mountain of 8 mil subbies. They're brilliant, but there are drawbacks, in as far as you're just swapping one tyrany for another. One that the doctors can control, rather than the daily hassle of meeting the Man. Their positive side is that they are very reducable, you can probably decrease in 1-2 mil increments without too much discomfort. But it does come as a shock when you try to go from 1 mil to nothing. It might seem daft, but the microgram tablets allow you to reduce gradually. You might find yourself needing to halve or quarter the 0.4s, really it's down to how you feel, not anyone else.
What we're going to do is reduce over a period of 7-10 days, with the help of sleeping tablets and valium, but bearing in mind these can both be addictive. We don't wanna replace one habit with another- we just want to be free. We're leaving town to do it- different external stimuli help a lot, but you can find B virtually anywhere in these Isles, so you do have to be strong.
My doctor wanted me to reduce by one mil over a week, for 'stability's sake'. But doing it that way it seems like I would never be clean. You might be pretty knocked about on day 6- sweaty, exhausted and half mad, but you won't have a heroin or subutex addiction, which is, after all, what we want.
The next bit is the staying stopped, paying off debts, repairing friendships, realigning yourself with a healthier lifestyle, dealing with potentially deeply upsetting emotional problems that may come flooding back without our strong friend... Hopefully you've cracked it by now, and are able to deal with the 'brave new world'. If you haven't, just keep trying, and learn from the unsuccessful attempts- they're not a waste of time. Good luck from us.
Tony
Thanks Tony, and good luck you you and your gf - you know the strength is within and a life with no dependancys will be worth the short term pain. When I'm weak I pray, I pray when I'm strong too cos we should be grateful that all we have. I've have never practiced my faith in church or anything but I do believe in a greater being that can help us see the best in everything including ourselves.
My bf has been good today. Took a 2mg sub at about 3 am this morning, so during withdrawl that's .5 at about 30 hours 2mg at about 38 hours and another 2mg at about 55 hours. Now he feels tons better.
Lots of sweating, liquid calcium & magnesium, vitamins, herbal calming tablets, flu relief tablets and I guess some nytol (non-prescript sleeping tablets - but addictive too) at bedtime if he can't sleep.
He's almost 'back to normal' but we know we've got more days of irrational emotion, and sleep deprivation. We did a list, one for the good thing about brown (2 bullet points) and one for what to look forward to without it (about 25 bullet points and counting).
I guess councilling will start soon, we're waiting for the clinic to get back to us - I know that my bf has issues - many from childhood that need addressing and will help him to shed the daemons that haunt him and may well have led to it getting this bad.
I've seen this f*** up too many lives to sit there and watch it happen again and again to my nearest and dearest even though I know that if someone (my bf) has an addiction it is him that needs to realise this not I.
I sincerely hope that everyone on this forum can find the strenght to kick this cos I know that inside each one of them is something good to live for and something good that can do this. I wish I could give my love and support to each of them also and be there every step of the way.
What goes up must come down...this is why I stopped snorting cocaine - couldn't handle the come downs - that and pills too. And I got into it young - everyone was older - i could look at them and see the damage and realise that I had control over this. I have also been very fortunate with my upbringing.
I know it sounds - what's the word? - godly, I don't know but I want to take every kid at an impressionable age and tell them everything about drugs - the ups, the downs, the damage and if I can help just one, a life time of trying would be worth it - And you know what? I think I just will...how? - I don't know - but if I could get into the schools and talk to them at a level they would understand and explain what temptations lay ahead...I don't think I can walk away from this and be happy without thinking that I could make a difference. Far more rewarding than the job I have now. I'm only 22 and school wasn't that far away - I know I could get through to them or some of them.
I'll end this venting with best wishes to you all, I have faith in everyone one of you - thanks for listening to this babble (red wine induced!!) - mindless - probably!!!!!
My bf has been good today. Took a 2mg sub at about 3 am this morning, so during withdrawl that's .5 at about 30 hours 2mg at about 38 hours and another 2mg at about 55 hours. Now he feels tons better.
Lots of sweating, liquid calcium & magnesium, vitamins, herbal calming tablets, flu relief tablets and I guess some nytol (non-prescript sleeping tablets - but addictive too) at bedtime if he can't sleep.
He's almost 'back to normal' but we know we've got more days of irrational emotion, and sleep deprivation. We did a list, one for the good thing about brown (2 bullet points) and one for what to look forward to without it (about 25 bullet points and counting).
I guess councilling will start soon, we're waiting for the clinic to get back to us - I know that my bf has issues - many from childhood that need addressing and will help him to shed the daemons that haunt him and may well have led to it getting this bad.
I've seen this f*** up too many lives to sit there and watch it happen again and again to my nearest and dearest even though I know that if someone (my bf) has an addiction it is him that needs to realise this not I.
I sincerely hope that everyone on this forum can find the strenght to kick this cos I know that inside each one of them is something good to live for and something good that can do this. I wish I could give my love and support to each of them also and be there every step of the way.
What goes up must come down...this is why I stopped snorting cocaine - couldn't handle the come downs - that and pills too. And I got into it young - everyone was older - i could look at them and see the damage and realise that I had control over this. I have also been very fortunate with my upbringing.
I know it sounds - what's the word? - godly, I don't know but I want to take every kid at an impressionable age and tell them everything about drugs - the ups, the downs, the damage and if I can help just one, a life time of trying would be worth it - And you know what? I think I just will...how? - I don't know - but if I could get into the schools and talk to them at a level they would understand and explain what temptations lay ahead...I don't think I can walk away from this and be happy without thinking that I could make a difference. Far more rewarding than the job I have now. I'm only 22 and school wasn't that far away - I know I could get through to them or some of them.
I'll end this venting with best wishes to you all, I have faith in everyone one of you - thanks for listening to this babble (red wine induced!!) - mindless - probably!!!!!
I have been where you are but with a less cooperative man. I have been there through a ton of week long or 4 or 5 day home detoxes with methadone street bought or a coctail from a doctor. I am not a fan of home detox at all! It just gets me too stressed out and than once he feels better he uses. They are at most risk to use when they feel better because they associate feeling good with using. (I was told that by a counselor). I really wish you both the best. Post on the family board and let me know how you are doing. The thing is that your 100% committment this time is good but it will wear on you if it has to keep happening. So listen to Mysty and get yourself outside if you start to feel overwhelemed. It is very stressful on you as well. And you really don't have any control. I am happy to hear he is taking his herbal meds and is being reasonable with you. He sounds like a good guy.
Mine is pretty good but he is not interested in anyone else when he is in pain. Hang in there. You are doing well. I too have drank wine during this hell but 9 days and none so far. Make sure you try to take care of you.
Jennifer
Mine is pretty good but he is not interested in anyone else when he is in pain. Hang in there. You are doing well. I too have drank wine during this hell but 9 days and none so far. Make sure you try to take care of you.
Jennifer
Hi Katie
My heart goes out to you. My b/f was clean for 2 years, this was while he was in prison. He has been out now for 8 months and it has been up and down since then. He's been on heroin for about 10 years and we've been together for 15 so you would think I would be used to it by now. I found out he started using again about 2months after his release. I just sat and cryed and didn't know what to do. He had promised me he would never go back and I felt really hurt. We went through the w/d the week after I found out. He didn't suffer too bad because he wasn't using that much at the time. It still wasn't very nice. He got clean for a week or so but then he would relapse. I had brought some drug test off the internet so i would know when he was using. They were really for my peace of mind, not really a deterent. He lied all the time even when the test was positive, but eventually he would tell the truth. This went on for some months and it gradually got worst. It got to the point were i said no more. I gave him a little shock and he went and brought subs of someone. He has been taking them for about 2 weeks but he is still using, I think only a bag or 2 a week. We had a row at the weekend and i have told him he's not allowed to stay at my house any longer. I am sick of hinding things then making sure they are still there, i really don't trust him any more. It is really hard, he called me tonight and asked me if he could come home and i got a lump in my throat but i had to say no. I try to be strong but it doesn't always work out that way. I suppose what i am trying to say to you is, be prepared for the worst. It might be ok. If he hasn't been using for that long. I some times have loads of faith in my b/f and i really believe he wants to stay clean, then when he lets me down i become angry and i can't even look at him. I am gradually loosing more faith in him and i don't know how much more of this i can cope with. When i look back over the last 8 months the only thing i think that would of may be made any difference was to look after me a bit more then may be i wouldn't have become so resentful and i would of coped a lot better. It's hard when your not trained to deal with a drug addict. If things don't go to plan don't blame you. Just hang in there things will come right in the end.
All the best Liza xxx
My heart goes out to you. My b/f was clean for 2 years, this was while he was in prison. He has been out now for 8 months and it has been up and down since then. He's been on heroin for about 10 years and we've been together for 15 so you would think I would be used to it by now. I found out he started using again about 2months after his release. I just sat and cryed and didn't know what to do. He had promised me he would never go back and I felt really hurt. We went through the w/d the week after I found out. He didn't suffer too bad because he wasn't using that much at the time. It still wasn't very nice. He got clean for a week or so but then he would relapse. I had brought some drug test off the internet so i would know when he was using. They were really for my peace of mind, not really a deterent. He lied all the time even when the test was positive, but eventually he would tell the truth. This went on for some months and it gradually got worst. It got to the point were i said no more. I gave him a little shock and he went and brought subs of someone. He has been taking them for about 2 weeks but he is still using, I think only a bag or 2 a week. We had a row at the weekend and i have told him he's not allowed to stay at my house any longer. I am sick of hinding things then making sure they are still there, i really don't trust him any more. It is really hard, he called me tonight and asked me if he could come home and i got a lump in my throat but i had to say no. I try to be strong but it doesn't always work out that way. I suppose what i am trying to say to you is, be prepared for the worst. It might be ok. If he hasn't been using for that long. I some times have loads of faith in my b/f and i really believe he wants to stay clean, then when he lets me down i become angry and i can't even look at him. I am gradually loosing more faith in him and i don't know how much more of this i can cope with. When i look back over the last 8 months the only thing i think that would of may be made any difference was to look after me a bit more then may be i wouldn't have become so resentful and i would of coped a lot better. It's hard when your not trained to deal with a drug addict. If things don't go to plan don't blame you. Just hang in there things will come right in the end.
All the best Liza xxx
Hi Katie, I want to start by commending your bravery for sticking with your bf. He will feel like hell, but its possible to kick it. So far I've managed 2 months, but heroin still haunts me every single day.
Try to get your bf to eat as much as possible before going on detox, as he will lose his appetite for about a week. Get him to shower well beforehand so as to reduce the sweating and make sure the bed covers are fresh and you have a good supply of ant-persperant.
Try to stock up on fresh fruit. This is all he'll be able to eat and it goes down a lot better than anything else I tried. The withdrawal will peak between 48-72 hours, and will gradually improve after that. Try also to get hold of some imodion, to help him with the number 2's.
After the initial withdrawal of up to 4 days, the battle will be in his head, so he will need motivation, and goals that are easily attainable and somthing to look forward to. The hardest part about coming off it is staying off it. I wish you, your kid and your bf the very best of luck - and will pray for you.
Try to get your bf to eat as much as possible before going on detox, as he will lose his appetite for about a week. Get him to shower well beforehand so as to reduce the sweating and make sure the bed covers are fresh and you have a good supply of ant-persperant.
Try to stock up on fresh fruit. This is all he'll be able to eat and it goes down a lot better than anything else I tried. The withdrawal will peak between 48-72 hours, and will gradually improve after that. Try also to get hold of some imodion, to help him with the number 2's.
After the initial withdrawal of up to 4 days, the battle will be in his head, so he will need motivation, and goals that are easily attainable and somthing to look forward to. The hardest part about coming off it is staying off it. I wish you, your kid and your bf the very best of luck - and will pray for you.
Hi Katie,
Wondering how you are, and how he is doing.....
I hope that things are ok.
Let us know how you are when you can.
thinking of you,
Love,
Tina
Wondering how you are, and how he is doing.....
I hope that things are ok.
Let us know how you are when you can.
thinking of you,
Love,
Tina
Thank you so much to you all, you support and advice at a time when I've felt so alone has been amazing and I appreciate so much the time and effort you've all put in to replying to this thread.
Lee's doing great!! The last 2 days have been the best by far - and touch wood - we're over the worst. He took .8mg sub 2 days ago and then .6mg sub late last night and has got up today - tidied the bedroom, changed things around and helped with our daughter while I work (he's actually shopping with her now). He's cried alot the last few days, but is soo back now! He's enjoying films and music which he stopped when he was using and already today there's more colour in his face.
I won't lie and say that it doesn't terrify me that he'll start using again, a second time and I won't be able to take it personally - when he knows what a life of brown (and just brown) is compared to a proper life. Councilling should start soon - I need it too, cos there's so much that hurts that I want to release without causing arguments or making Lee feel like using again. I've lots of resentment that I need out so it doesn't manefest it's self and come out un-healthily. The last year has been the hardest for me...not the worst cos just one look at our bundle of joy and I'm either glowing with pride or in fits of laughter at her funny faces but tough. We've moved 3 times (the day before I gave birth and when our lo was only a few weeks old), my gran died (we were very close) and I can't help but feel like there should have been more support.
But, I think addiction is a disease and can understand that it wasn't because he didn't love me enough or anything like that.
JenniferLee - thanks for your words of support - I don't think I could be so forgiving, I wish you all the support and my prayers that this time it will be it for you.
Liza - Well done for being strong - the damage it causes you to see your loved one go through something like this is awful and I do think you're doing the right thing - you can still offer support, but taking yourself away and concentrating on yourself we untimately make you happier. If he wants to be clean and stay clean - he can do this without living with you - And who knows? It might be the kick in the bum he needs!!
Jay - thanks so much for your words of support, the link was fantastic - shame I didn't read it prior to detox although I had quite a few that were listed. WELL DONE - 2 MONTHS!!! I don't need to tell you you're worth more than heroin and the haunts will get less and less - you sound like a fantastic, caring, smart and genuine guy and my heart would break if you used again - You've got soo much to look forward to now!!!
Tina 0 thanks again for your support, advice and care for the updates.
Lee's probably going back to work tomorrow, he's changed his phone number - no one knows it that could tempt him - friends or dealers. His mate that is probably still using broke into his van and Lee knows that no matter how much addiction can be classed a disease - this is not something that is forgiveable - he knows he hasn't actually lost a friend at all. His brother who uses has done much bad aswell and that relationship is closed for the time being also and a good thing for Lee while he gets stronger.
I guess the temptation may remain forever, the thrill and the use when he feel like he can't cope. But I'm hoping he realises it's black and white. Use heroin and it's black - you're life will be heroin only, white and you can realise your dreams and look forward to a future and be the best that you are.
Thanks again, I'll still update and would like to offer my support to you all. You are all in my prayers and I hope you all go from strength to strength.
Love, Katie x
Lee's doing great!! The last 2 days have been the best by far - and touch wood - we're over the worst. He took .8mg sub 2 days ago and then .6mg sub late last night and has got up today - tidied the bedroom, changed things around and helped with our daughter while I work (he's actually shopping with her now). He's cried alot the last few days, but is soo back now! He's enjoying films and music which he stopped when he was using and already today there's more colour in his face.
I won't lie and say that it doesn't terrify me that he'll start using again, a second time and I won't be able to take it personally - when he knows what a life of brown (and just brown) is compared to a proper life. Councilling should start soon - I need it too, cos there's so much that hurts that I want to release without causing arguments or making Lee feel like using again. I've lots of resentment that I need out so it doesn't manefest it's self and come out un-healthily. The last year has been the hardest for me...not the worst cos just one look at our bundle of joy and I'm either glowing with pride or in fits of laughter at her funny faces but tough. We've moved 3 times (the day before I gave birth and when our lo was only a few weeks old), my gran died (we were very close) and I can't help but feel like there should have been more support.
But, I think addiction is a disease and can understand that it wasn't because he didn't love me enough or anything like that.
JenniferLee - thanks for your words of support - I don't think I could be so forgiving, I wish you all the support and my prayers that this time it will be it for you.
Liza - Well done for being strong - the damage it causes you to see your loved one go through something like this is awful and I do think you're doing the right thing - you can still offer support, but taking yourself away and concentrating on yourself we untimately make you happier. If he wants to be clean and stay clean - he can do this without living with you - And who knows? It might be the kick in the bum he needs!!
Jay - thanks so much for your words of support, the link was fantastic - shame I didn't read it prior to detox although I had quite a few that were listed. WELL DONE - 2 MONTHS!!! I don't need to tell you you're worth more than heroin and the haunts will get less and less - you sound like a fantastic, caring, smart and genuine guy and my heart would break if you used again - You've got soo much to look forward to now!!!
Tina 0 thanks again for your support, advice and care for the updates.
Lee's probably going back to work tomorrow, he's changed his phone number - no one knows it that could tempt him - friends or dealers. His mate that is probably still using broke into his van and Lee knows that no matter how much addiction can be classed a disease - this is not something that is forgiveable - he knows he hasn't actually lost a friend at all. His brother who uses has done much bad aswell and that relationship is closed for the time being also and a good thing for Lee while he gets stronger.
I guess the temptation may remain forever, the thrill and the use when he feel like he can't cope. But I'm hoping he realises it's black and white. Use heroin and it's black - you're life will be heroin only, white and you can realise your dreams and look forward to a future and be the best that you are.
Thanks again, I'll still update and would like to offer my support to you all. You are all in my prayers and I hope you all go from strength to strength.
Love, Katie x
Katie, where are you now? How are you?
Post on the family board.
Jennifer
Post on the family board.
Jennifer
Things have been good, but on Friday we had an argument and things have been a little tense. I've suspected once but I haven't got anything to base my suspisions on and I think it's more because I'm so used to him lying.
We really need to talk or get this councilling started as he doesn't seem to understand that my trust in him isn't going to suddenly be there and every time he walks out the door I panic and my heart sinks - it's been a year of this and I can't help the way I feel.
I'm really scared he's going to start using again, but I have to have faith that he wont. We've been working on doing our house up this weekend, and finally finished the bathroom yesterday. We're going to start decorating the bedroom today.
How's everyone doing? x
We really need to talk or get this councilling started as he doesn't seem to understand that my trust in him isn't going to suddenly be there and every time he walks out the door I panic and my heart sinks - it's been a year of this and I can't help the way I feel.
I'm really scared he's going to start using again, but I have to have faith that he wont. We've been working on doing our house up this weekend, and finally finished the bathroom yesterday. We're going to start decorating the bedroom today.
How's everyone doing? x
