The love of my life for the past 12 years told me he is addicted to meth about 3 months ago. He told me because he said he wanted to stop but it hasn't stopped and we argue all the time.I know I can't make him stop.. He has to want it. Today he tells me he is done, I have heard it before and want to believe he really does, but I just don't know. We have a 4 year old and I do not want her around him when he's high. I have left him several times but he calls me and tells me he's sober so I go back but he goes right back to it as soon as he gets more money.What do I do? Leave and cut off all contact? Or stay and just hope that things will get better?
Hi Hope,
you need to get yourself and your daughter out of there, it is no place for either of you - you need to look after you and your daughter - explain to him that you will only consider returning when he reaches out and gets help and when he has been clean for a good while - words are cheap and easy - it's easy to promise to stay clean when you dont have the means to get high - addicts manipulate and use people - i know i have done it myself - we will tell you what we think you need to hear - you cannot trust an addict in active addiction - trust me i have been there - only when he has been clean for a good while and demonstrates he is commited to recovery, going to NA or some other recovery program or addiction counsellor- then and only then should you even consider allowing him back into your lives - you do not want to live with someone you cannot trust - never sure when he is going to get high - remember addiction is a progresive disease, he will need more and more drugs to get the high he is chasing - at that stage he will use whatever means it takes, lie, cheat, steal as the drugs take more and more control of his life - sorry but thats how it affects people - you dont want to live like that - you deserve better for yourself and your daughter - there is a group called Naranon, that helps relatives of drug addicts - you will get real support, help and advice there- reach out to them, you will be made welcome and meet many people in the same situation, you are not alone - keep posting here for any help or support we can give you - all the best
you need to get yourself and your daughter out of there, it is no place for either of you - you need to look after you and your daughter - explain to him that you will only consider returning when he reaches out and gets help and when he has been clean for a good while - words are cheap and easy - it's easy to promise to stay clean when you dont have the means to get high - addicts manipulate and use people - i know i have done it myself - we will tell you what we think you need to hear - you cannot trust an addict in active addiction - trust me i have been there - only when he has been clean for a good while and demonstrates he is commited to recovery, going to NA or some other recovery program or addiction counsellor- then and only then should you even consider allowing him back into your lives - you do not want to live with someone you cannot trust - never sure when he is going to get high - remember addiction is a progresive disease, he will need more and more drugs to get the high he is chasing - at that stage he will use whatever means it takes, lie, cheat, steal as the drugs take more and more control of his life - sorry but thats how it affects people - you dont want to live like that - you deserve better for yourself and your daughter - there is a group called Naranon, that helps relatives of drug addicts - you will get real support, help and advice there- reach out to them, you will be made welcome and meet many people in the same situation, you are not alone - keep posting here for any help or support we can give you - all the best
I've been married for 35 years. Happily till crystal meth took over our lives. I now xm doing the tuff love Told him to leave , he text every night to tell me how much he loves me and not to worry it will be ok. Yea right more lies. He has lied , cheated, just like my group said he would. Denies everything, even when all the evidence is right in front of him. He is not the same person he was a year ago. Breaks my heart. But you need to take care of yourself and your daughter. Because he doesn't and won't. I feel abandoned and thrown away like we are nothing We have to be strong for our children. Take care of yourself. And pray
