Hi all
When an heroin addict uses,
what happens?,
what does the person experience?
Why the lies?, surely heroin, has no IQ so it is the addict that chooses to lie.??, but easy way out is to say drugs did that???????.
Any excuse to use?????, the disease theory seems to make it easier to relapse, because, my disease told me to use??????????
I find it is not a disease but bad behaviour and bad choices that are made???
Rose
Rose...
Good questions. and you are kind of right but also looking at it the wrong way. it IS bad behavior and bad choices. and the drug is not the disease. The disease is the addictive personality, the deep problems, insecurities, hurts and issues that make these people (myself included) turn to drugs. whether its heroin or whatever.. that is the symptom of the disease not the disease itself. I have a friend that almost died from bulimia. She finally got help but for a long time everyone tried to fix her symptoms and not really look at the real problem of her hating herself and her pain (she was molested and never dealt with it). Why the lies? because a heroin addict is outside of "normal" society and has to lie about their life to stay normal. no one wants to say they are an addict in "polite" society. you are right though sometimes people use "disease" as an excuse to not try to help themselves. But for those that really do make an effort it helps them understand why it is so hard and why they have to respect the addiction and respect the fact that it will control your entire life until it kills you unless you take that control back. and why treatment and counseling after you do quit is so important because you may quit heroin but you replace it with pills or girlfriends or alcohol or whatever. just trying to fill a hole.
what does a person experience? i debated on answering this question b/c i do not want to glorify the feeling. but i hope this comes out right. you do feel good for a while even with nausia and other affects. but basically it is a numbing after an extended use you are numb to things feelings physical and emotional. you start to close yourself off to people around you and heroin becomes your first focus. getting it doing it getting it doing it hiding it from people around you .... that becomes your life or lets just call it your existence. i hope this helped. personally i am a recovering heroin addict 3 years clean. i always say heroin addict but honestly it was anything i went through coke, meth, alcohol, but heroin was my last and most major addiction before i started looking at my real problems. and fixing those to get rid of my "symptoms"
Let me know if this is what you were looking for
i am on here almost daily
take care
prayer works
~Adam A
Good questions. and you are kind of right but also looking at it the wrong way. it IS bad behavior and bad choices. and the drug is not the disease. The disease is the addictive personality, the deep problems, insecurities, hurts and issues that make these people (myself included) turn to drugs. whether its heroin or whatever.. that is the symptom of the disease not the disease itself. I have a friend that almost died from bulimia. She finally got help but for a long time everyone tried to fix her symptoms and not really look at the real problem of her hating herself and her pain (she was molested and never dealt with it). Why the lies? because a heroin addict is outside of "normal" society and has to lie about their life to stay normal. no one wants to say they are an addict in "polite" society. you are right though sometimes people use "disease" as an excuse to not try to help themselves. But for those that really do make an effort it helps them understand why it is so hard and why they have to respect the addiction and respect the fact that it will control your entire life until it kills you unless you take that control back. and why treatment and counseling after you do quit is so important because you may quit heroin but you replace it with pills or girlfriends or alcohol or whatever. just trying to fill a hole.
what does a person experience? i debated on answering this question b/c i do not want to glorify the feeling. but i hope this comes out right. you do feel good for a while even with nausia and other affects. but basically it is a numbing after an extended use you are numb to things feelings physical and emotional. you start to close yourself off to people around you and heroin becomes your first focus. getting it doing it getting it doing it hiding it from people around you .... that becomes your life or lets just call it your existence. i hope this helped. personally i am a recovering heroin addict 3 years clean. i always say heroin addict but honestly it was anything i went through coke, meth, alcohol, but heroin was my last and most major addiction before i started looking at my real problems. and fixing those to get rid of my "symptoms"
Let me know if this is what you were looking for
i am on here almost daily
take care
prayer works
~Adam A
Hi Adam
Thank you so much for your reply. Yes!, I do understand now, that the problem runs deep. My cousin and best friend are both heroin addicts. I love them so much. I lost my best friend to heroin, he was someone whom I could just be myself with, never judgemental, I could call anytime, was there for me in laughter and tears and when he told me, I was so devastated. I see now that it goes way back and runs very deep. His dad abused him as a child in fact his whole life. I was witness to that abuse, so in his moment of weakness he turned to drugs. Other than I, his family, just shout, judge, and accuse the whole world for him using drugs but have not looked at themselves. Anybody that supports him are called sluts and accuses them of giving him drugs. What a dysfunctional family. I put myself in his shoes, and not being strong, yes, I would have taken the same route to get away from the abuse.
I have paid for all the rehab costs etc, but with no support from his dysfunctional family, I am afraid, he will continue to self destruct. He has replaced heroin, with, woman, sex etc and it drives me crazy as he used to bring the woman to me after he dumped them. It is so sad, my best friend whom I love with all my heart. I give all the support I can but his dysfuctional family interfere and he relapses. They need to let go and let him find his own way.
Congrates on the 3 years, it is hard, I see that, even harder when one is trying to quit a drug and deal with a dysfunctional family. Take care and thanks again
Rose
Thank you so much for your reply. Yes!, I do understand now, that the problem runs deep. My cousin and best friend are both heroin addicts. I love them so much. I lost my best friend to heroin, he was someone whom I could just be myself with, never judgemental, I could call anytime, was there for me in laughter and tears and when he told me, I was so devastated. I see now that it goes way back and runs very deep. His dad abused him as a child in fact his whole life. I was witness to that abuse, so in his moment of weakness he turned to drugs. Other than I, his family, just shout, judge, and accuse the whole world for him using drugs but have not looked at themselves. Anybody that supports him are called sluts and accuses them of giving him drugs. What a dysfunctional family. I put myself in his shoes, and not being strong, yes, I would have taken the same route to get away from the abuse.
I have paid for all the rehab costs etc, but with no support from his dysfunctional family, I am afraid, he will continue to self destruct. He has replaced heroin, with, woman, sex etc and it drives me crazy as he used to bring the woman to me after he dumped them. It is so sad, my best friend whom I love with all my heart. I give all the support I can but his dysfuctional family interfere and he relapses. They need to let go and let him find his own way.
Congrates on the 3 years, it is hard, I see that, even harder when one is trying to quit a drug and deal with a dysfunctional family. Take care and thanks again
Rose
Rose...
Thank you for your response back so quick. I am impatient and i hate waiting for replies. but that is another thing that a lot of addicts struggle with. no patience and no idea what delayed gratification is. I am so sorry for your loss. I actually just burried my best friend last thanksgiving. She died of heart failure. I had to do the eulogy. it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do. I know if she had died while i was still on heroin i would have killed myself. i miss her so much. anyway you are right about his family that makes things so much harder if you dont have a good support system. he needs to find a good group of people to hang out with on a regular basis that will keep him accountable. also you have to be really careful that you are not being an enabler to him. call a counseling center to get help on how to help him without helping his problem.
I will be praying for you and your friend
Take care
~Adam A
Thank you for your response back so quick. I am impatient and i hate waiting for replies. but that is another thing that a lot of addicts struggle with. no patience and no idea what delayed gratification is. I am so sorry for your loss. I actually just burried my best friend last thanksgiving. She died of heart failure. I had to do the eulogy. it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do. I know if she had died while i was still on heroin i would have killed myself. i miss her so much. anyway you are right about his family that makes things so much harder if you dont have a good support system. he needs to find a good group of people to hang out with on a regular basis that will keep him accountable. also you have to be really careful that you are not being an enabler to him. call a counseling center to get help on how to help him without helping his problem.
I will be praying for you and your friend
Take care
~Adam A
Hi Adam
Wow!!!! that was a speedy reply. I have put bounderies up and do not enable him and I do not do for him what he can do for himself. I give support, love etc but no money etc and do not reward his bad behaviour.
Thank you, you sound very compassionate. So sorry to hear about your friend, the loss one feels, the sadness, that is reality, thou so painful, thank heavens you did not go back to using again. I miss him tons but I do not miss the person that he has become. The lies and he knows that I know every time he lies to me because this smile appears on his face, he knows, I know he is talking nonsense. I just answer " Yea, you sure think them up, but I know you to well I will not fall for your lies and scheming." Here for you anytime but not here to enable you".
All his friends use and he has not broken ties with them, until he does not the temptation I am afraid will be big but that is a choice he has to make not me.
Thanks again for your help and your posts, it helps to hear someone that has been there. It gives me a different perspective.
Rose
Wow!!!! that was a speedy reply. I have put bounderies up and do not enable him and I do not do for him what he can do for himself. I give support, love etc but no money etc and do not reward his bad behaviour.
Thank you, you sound very compassionate. So sorry to hear about your friend, the loss one feels, the sadness, that is reality, thou so painful, thank heavens you did not go back to using again. I miss him tons but I do not miss the person that he has become. The lies and he knows that I know every time he lies to me because this smile appears on his face, he knows, I know he is talking nonsense. I just answer " Yea, you sure think them up, but I know you to well I will not fall for your lies and scheming." Here for you anytime but not here to enable you".
All his friends use and he has not broken ties with them, until he does not the temptation I am afraid will be big but that is a choice he has to make not me.
Thanks again for your help and your posts, it helps to hear someone that has been there. It gives me a different perspective.
Rose
Rose...
Quick reply yourself. :o) you sound like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders with how you handle your friend. Good job its hard to love someone and keep yourself objective at the same time. you should have him get on this site. i think it would be an eye opener for him. i wish i knew about this three years ago when i was quitting. i would have been on it all day jsut talking. but thats me. i am a talker. well i am a talker to people in general but when it comes to my girlfriend i close up. i dont know why but i am working on it. anyway that is going to be a big thing for your friend. distancing himself from his friends. he feels like those people understand him. they dont. but when you are on drugs no one but other people on drugs understand you. its a sad place to be. because no one really cares about eachother and if they are really honest with themselves they would admit that they would probably steal from their friend for drugs. that is where the disease part comes in. you dont want to do those things but you feel like you have to. then you rationalize it like well they would probably do it to me or they would understand. its a terrible life and he will have to keep banging his head against the wall until he starts to deal with his real issues. that is when he will need you the most. it will be a long hard road for him but he will start seeing rewards when he does. it will get easier and then harder then easier its a process but so worth it in the long run. i have been volunteering for the NCADA (national council for alcoholism and drug abuse) i talk to highschool kids i just tell my story and then answer questions. it has been so rewarding for me. i think the kids relate to me b/c i am 26 and still look young (besides my graying hair...result of years of abuse i believe...or maybe just genetics who knows) i have abused almost every drug over about 8 years or so. and i think it is very cathartic for me to do this i feel like i am making up for lost time and making amends for all the people i hurt and also i am doing it for danielle my friend that died. i know she would be proud of me trying to help people not go thru some of the things we did. sorry this was long winded sometimes i just write for myown therapy but i hope this has given you some insight and you stay strong and that your friend gets the help he needs about his real underlying problems.
again i will be praying
~Adam A
Quick reply yourself. :o) you sound like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders with how you handle your friend. Good job its hard to love someone and keep yourself objective at the same time. you should have him get on this site. i think it would be an eye opener for him. i wish i knew about this three years ago when i was quitting. i would have been on it all day jsut talking. but thats me. i am a talker. well i am a talker to people in general but when it comes to my girlfriend i close up. i dont know why but i am working on it. anyway that is going to be a big thing for your friend. distancing himself from his friends. he feels like those people understand him. they dont. but when you are on drugs no one but other people on drugs understand you. its a sad place to be. because no one really cares about eachother and if they are really honest with themselves they would admit that they would probably steal from their friend for drugs. that is where the disease part comes in. you dont want to do those things but you feel like you have to. then you rationalize it like well they would probably do it to me or they would understand. its a terrible life and he will have to keep banging his head against the wall until he starts to deal with his real issues. that is when he will need you the most. it will be a long hard road for him but he will start seeing rewards when he does. it will get easier and then harder then easier its a process but so worth it in the long run. i have been volunteering for the NCADA (national council for alcoholism and drug abuse) i talk to highschool kids i just tell my story and then answer questions. it has been so rewarding for me. i think the kids relate to me b/c i am 26 and still look young (besides my graying hair...result of years of abuse i believe...or maybe just genetics who knows) i have abused almost every drug over about 8 years or so. and i think it is very cathartic for me to do this i feel like i am making up for lost time and making amends for all the people i hurt and also i am doing it for danielle my friend that died. i know she would be proud of me trying to help people not go thru some of the things we did. sorry this was long winded sometimes i just write for myown therapy but i hope this has given you some insight and you stay strong and that your friend gets the help he needs about his real underlying problems.
again i will be praying
~Adam A
Hi Adam
It is wonderful to hear you are looking out for our youth and telling them your story. I am proud of you for been able to talk so openly, kids love that. My friend and I are both 30 and he has bumped his head so many times and I see from him that it is hard, long road but when he is ready he knows in his hearts of hearts that I will be there for him. It is wonderful that you found your way back into to the real world.
Strange, he is the only person that I have ever opened up to, I miss that sooooo much. I really cannot have a heart to heart with him as present because he is always detoxing and through the detox process, he really does not want to hear what i have to say, he is already miserable, irritable, joint pain, vomits, etc. It is hard for me to watch the process. He manages thou, then just one call from his so called friends and he is using again. Why?????? put himself through that pain just to be up again and using????????.
Adam, you can give so much to protect our youth. Thank you again
I hope, you will, with time open up to your girlfriend. You got this far, I am sure you will get their too.
Take care
Rose
It is wonderful to hear you are looking out for our youth and telling them your story. I am proud of you for been able to talk so openly, kids love that. My friend and I are both 30 and he has bumped his head so many times and I see from him that it is hard, long road but when he is ready he knows in his hearts of hearts that I will be there for him. It is wonderful that you found your way back into to the real world.
Strange, he is the only person that I have ever opened up to, I miss that sooooo much. I really cannot have a heart to heart with him as present because he is always detoxing and through the detox process, he really does not want to hear what i have to say, he is already miserable, irritable, joint pain, vomits, etc. It is hard for me to watch the process. He manages thou, then just one call from his so called friends and he is using again. Why?????? put himself through that pain just to be up again and using????????.
Adam, you can give so much to protect our youth. Thank you again
I hope, you will, with time open up to your girlfriend. You got this far, I am sure you will get their too.
Take care
Rose
Rose...
Why is it so easy for him to pick it right back up? it stops the pain... it causes more pain in the long run but it stops the imediate pain physical and emotional. it numbs everything. its a cop out. its the easy way out but that is why. its so easy. thank you for your encouragement. its good to hear. addicts usually have really low self asteem they may not act like it but they do. positive reinforcement means a lot.
I am sorry that you have to go through this i know it hurts you so much that you feel like you lost a friend. he will come around and be in debt to you the rest of his life for being a true friend. i have a few of those and i would lay down my life for them in a seccond.
I am going home for the day you have a great weekend
treat yourself to a weekend of relaxation if you can
we all need that sometimes
take care
i will be praying
~Adam A
Why is it so easy for him to pick it right back up? it stops the pain... it causes more pain in the long run but it stops the imediate pain physical and emotional. it numbs everything. its a cop out. its the easy way out but that is why. its so easy. thank you for your encouragement. its good to hear. addicts usually have really low self asteem they may not act like it but they do. positive reinforcement means a lot.
I am sorry that you have to go through this i know it hurts you so much that you feel like you lost a friend. he will come around and be in debt to you the rest of his life for being a true friend. i have a few of those and i would lay down my life for them in a seccond.
I am going home for the day you have a great weekend
treat yourself to a weekend of relaxation if you can
we all need that sometimes
take care
i will be praying
~Adam A
