hello everyone, first off I want to wish everyone a happy new year, and I hope this new year will bring nothing but happieness for you all.
Now to the depressing stuff. I'm 21 and I'm addicted to pain meds, I was getting them from my doctor for a year and sometimes I still do. I suffer from severe endometriosis and the pain is sometimes unbearable. I take about 6 pills a day and If I don't have any for work I freak literally. I suffer from bipolar disorder and for anyone who knows how difficult that disease is knows how hard it must be for someone going through withdrawals from the only thing that made her sane. Sometimes taking my own life sounds so much better than trying to quit this thing that has just consumed my whole life.....I mean I've gone through alot of things in my life starting at age 14, I was a cutter, severely depressed, I was bulimic, and was admitted into a mental institution for trying to commit suicide more times that I can count. I now live with my boyfriend whom I can't get away from, I hate him, he's also addicted to pills which makes it easier for me to get them but harder to stop. I know what your all saying if your reading this why don't I get away from him if I don't love him. And I don't because I don't want to move back home with my family, they live in the middle of no where, and also my source for pills would be gone too. I would totally miss living on my own. It would be such an inconvience on my life. I've broken up with him so many times and when I leave I miss him, claim I love him, and say the fighting will stop. But it never does, it's getting to the point where we can't sit in a room together for 2 minutes before we start batteling. He gets in my face, calls me names, ruins my things, and so on and so forth. No I'm not at all an angel, I have a temper and totally flip when he does so it's just never ending.. I also hold grudges and he's the type of person that will yell and scream and call names then 10 minutes later try hugging me, I get pissed again and it's another fight. I know this is a recovery room and I'm sorry for going on about my relationship but I need to vent, because this relationship is partially my problem on why I take pills. I'm not dismissing the fact that I enjoy taking them cause I do, they give me a false sense of well being and I enjoy that. I have energy and a clear mind. Rather than my ADD ways of thinking, my mind races and while on them it doesn't........
well I'm gonna go my boyfriend has a insecurity issues and constantly reads my things because he thinks I'm cheating so before he comes in and reads this I'm gonna go..... Hope all is well....
- stacy
Hey and welcome. Wow........sounds to me like moving home, cutting off your pill source and removing yourself from an abusive relationship would do wonders for your life. I know it may be hard to leave him, but aside from the pills, doesn't sound you are getting much from being with him that is good for you. Do you have a counselor or therapist, or someone you can talk to about this situation? Maybe even your mom.
N0one deserves to be treated badly. He is not worth the b.s. you are putting up with . Even if you don't go home, leave him. Maybe when you do, you'll find it easier to live without the pills than you think.
Good luck and Happy New Year! Take care of yourself!
Hello and welcome to the board, i am so sorry to here about you delema, i am not in the right time in my life to give advise all that i can tell you is that i will keep you in my thoughts and preyers and i prey that things get better, but you have to do something , noone can change your life except you....thats all that i can offer and say,.............Good luck and we are here for you always..........
Hi, I echo mom. and you are so young...
I have a map of the world posted in my living room, because I live in a small place, and often forget that THERE IS A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE...
I was stuck in a bad relationship for years..it was a complete waste of the best years of my life. I was stuck because of fear..
But really, get clean for yourself..the world has so much to offer..
Stacy, have you tried counseling? That might be a step in the right direction..but take it from me...life is really short..don't waste time..
Good luck, and Happy New Year..
Kerry
I have a map of the world posted in my living room, because I live in a small place, and often forget that THERE IS A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE...
I was stuck in a bad relationship for years..it was a complete waste of the best years of my life. I was stuck because of fear..
But really, get clean for yourself..the world has so much to offer..
Stacy, have you tried counseling? That might be a step in the right direction..but take it from me...life is really short..don't waste time..
Good luck, and Happy New Year..
Kerry
stacyn Hi sweety Don't know if we ever talked but you said alot I can understand though I'm 37.My daughter 16 now use to cut I could never understand it but I have learned its just another self induced addiction.She is and has been in therapy and I have God and my daughters willingness to live to thank,I feel for anyone who has that pain.I think in my very first post I wrote how the Dr says I have bipolar.What is it about mental illness that make us ashamed.If you read my old post youll see its something I don't talk about,like I'm defected or something.You are a very brave woman and it takes alot of willpower to do what you have done.I guess I just wanted to say you are not alone if you put out your hand alot of us will pull you up and help you feel strong when you feel weak,HAPPY NEW YEARS>>>>>>>mj
Thanks everyone for your reply's, Yes I've tried counsiling I actually started when I was 14. I unfortunatly have no insurance and it's so expensive. I do however start new health insurance in acouple of months thankgod. So yes my first step after getting it is to see a counsilor. And to walk myself right into my doctors office and tell him I'm addicted to pain meds and I need something to help me get off of them without the painful withdrawals.
I've very tired and want to go to bed but I just wanted to say thankyou, all of you, and you are also in my prayers....
goodnight, Stacy
I've very tired and want to go to bed but I just wanted to say thankyou, all of you, and you are also in my prayers....
goodnight, Stacy
That is the right idea..when I was addicted, I lived in that hell because I didn't know there were meds and ways to help.
there is a way out..
Kerry
there is a way out..Kerry
