looking for advice? My 22 year old son and his girlfriend are addicted to a combination of meth, heroin and crack which I am told is the ultimate high. The 2 of them have 3 children a 5 year old who thankfully is with her father more than her mom. Then my 2 year old grandson and my 1 year old granddaughter. Up until this past week I would keep the 2 babies 3 days a week. But for the past week I just found out a relative of hers has the babies in another state for another 2 weeks. This crushes me for several reasons one the children only see these people once every few months, 2 they do not take care of them and well how confusing for the babies. Ok so here is my dilemma....my son and his girlfriend took $5000 worth of carpet cleaning equipment from me and pawned it. It cost me $350 to get it back. Then they did it a second time. The home they live in is beyond nasty, they smoke in the house as well. I have been to the house many times and called them as late as 3 pm and they were asleep while the babies were awake. Now mind you they would tell me one of them was awake but I could tell they were not. Also at this time I was unaware that they were addicts. I want to press charges against them because I feel I will then they will be off drugs and the babies will be safe. But will they? I need to get my grand kids back from Iowa first don't I? Will the state let the kids stay with her family if I have her arrested. What's more important saving my son and his girlfriends life and risking never seeing my grand babies again? I feel I cant wait another day, I know they are stealing from people and they could od at any moment. I couldn't live with myself. But part of me says wait until the babies are back in town and I have them. But then it may be too late. What do I do I am going crazy here.
I'm really sorry that you are worried about your grandchildren. If you feel there is abuse or neglect, contact your state's Child Protective Services Department. You can do an online search to see what would meet the state's criteria of a reportable offense. You might also want to keep a diary of your observations in a factual, objective manner if you make a report.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Dear MsBlueTiger,
I'm married to the mother of an addict that gave birth to a child. We've faced similar circumstances in our past. The most difficult times, the mother was completely disconnected from the nightmarish circumstances she took that child into and exposed him too. Ultimately, my wife legally got temporary custody. That temporary custody remains in place still and it's been five years.
It was a nightmarish decision that caused my wife unending difficulty and turmoil. But she ultimately had to face the reality that her daughter would have to find her own way to sobriety, if ever. But she couldn't stand by knowing that an innocent would be dragged through these circumstances to suffer emotionally, starvation, neglect, abuse and potentially worse.
We were successful, only because the mother realized she was in the wrong and in a weak moment signed the temporary custody agreement. We were prepared to force it through the courts if needed. That helped provide us the leverage with law enforcement and department of children and family services. And we had to when she wanted to 'visit' but took off with the baby and her drug dealer across state.
It's heart wrenching, but you can only help those you can help.
I'm married to the mother of an addict that gave birth to a child. We've faced similar circumstances in our past. The most difficult times, the mother was completely disconnected from the nightmarish circumstances she took that child into and exposed him too. Ultimately, my wife legally got temporary custody. That temporary custody remains in place still and it's been five years.
It was a nightmarish decision that caused my wife unending difficulty and turmoil. But she ultimately had to face the reality that her daughter would have to find her own way to sobriety, if ever. But she couldn't stand by knowing that an innocent would be dragged through these circumstances to suffer emotionally, starvation, neglect, abuse and potentially worse.
We were successful, only because the mother realized she was in the wrong and in a weak moment signed the temporary custody agreement. We were prepared to force it through the courts if needed. That helped provide us the leverage with law enforcement and department of children and family services. And we had to when she wanted to 'visit' but took off with the baby and her drug dealer across state.
It's heart wrenching, but you can only help those you can help.
Best talk to a lawyer as the first visit is alway free! You are in a very fragile situation and you have to tread carefully. Get professional help.
