Well, I just spent the last week pretending and trying to convince myself that I wasnt an addict, and that it never happened, guess what, it doesnt work.... I have been having cravings to use now for a couple days ( I have not acted on them though ). Stronger cravings then in my first month of quitting. I almost convinced myself that I could take one or two and that would be it, then I thought" yeah, that WOULD be it", game over..... I have been also having these crazy feelings like when I see someone in a cast I think... lucky b******..... am I nuts or what?
Best Regards,
Tom
Hey Tom, I tell you one thing, you are not crazy! I think the same things and I don't have nearly the amount of clean time as you. I'm glad you realize that you can't take just one or two b/c I'm pretty sure that will turn into 10 or 20 (if it was me anyway). I ask myself the same thing all the time though, I wonder if I could take just a half or just take one today. BUT I don't do it, and either shall you. I know you won't but it don't hurt to talk a/b it.
Stay Strong and I'm sure all this will pass as everything else has, right?
Struggler.
Stay Strong and I'm sure all this will pass as everything else has, right?
Struggler.
Hi Struggler,
Thanks, I will not use today. I am ok, just venting a bit whats on my brain, and it was kinda an experiment, I realize now, I need to just confront ALL my thoughts and not ry to bury them. Again, thanks,
Regards,
Tom
Thanks, I will not use today. I am ok, just venting a bit whats on my brain, and it was kinda an experiment, I realize now, I need to just confront ALL my thoughts and not ry to bury them. Again, thanks,
Regards,
Tom
Tom, how long have you been clean? You've been on the board for a while, just wondering?
Thanks, Struggler.
Thanks, Struggler.
Tom,
I happen to be in a cast right now, but I can totally relate to what you said. I too when not having anything would see someone in a cast, on crutches, whatever and be almost envious because I knew they had pills. My neighbor had surgery on her arm last year and I was there for coffee and she had a bottle of percs sitting right there on the table and do you know what I did? I started wincing and telling her how bad my knees hurt that day and she said "do you want to try one of these? they are really strong" and gave me one. I didn't have the courage to ask for a doggy bag tho.
So your not nuts, well not any more than the rest of us anyway, because I totally related to what you had to say. Please stay strong Tom, this shall pass. I look up to you and hope to be where your at someday. Stay strong Tom, stay strong.........Love, Briar
I happen to be in a cast right now, but I can totally relate to what you said. I too when not having anything would see someone in a cast, on crutches, whatever and be almost envious because I knew they had pills. My neighbor had surgery on her arm last year and I was there for coffee and she had a bottle of percs sitting right there on the table and do you know what I did? I started wincing and telling her how bad my knees hurt that day and she said "do you want to try one of these? they are really strong" and gave me one. I didn't have the courage to ask for a doggy bag tho.
So your not nuts, well not any more than the rest of us anyway, because I totally related to what you had to say. Please stay strong Tom, this shall pass. I look up to you and hope to be where your at someday. Stay strong Tom, stay strong.........Love, Briar
Thanks Roe... (lucky b****** )...I AM JUST KIDDING !! Really, I am ok, I posted that just as an example of how sneaky this addiction is, pretend you dont have it, and Bam, it smacks you in the face. Vigilance is my middle name now...
BTW, Welcome back, glad to see your hubby got out there with you and the Kid /Kids (you have 5 yr old little boy right?)
Regards,
Tom
BTW, Welcome back, glad to see your hubby got out there with you and the Kid /Kids (you have 5 yr old little boy right?)
Regards,
Tom
hey, tom, just for today:
Step 2 --
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 2 --
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Hey Tom,
I think the same way somedays. You are not alone. It has been 3 months for me and I still have bad days. Anytime someone calls me and they have been to a doctor or hospital I say" what did they give you "? Then comes hope you feel better... That is an addict for you always worried about what scripts everyone else is getting,LOL
Anyway tomorrow is a new day. Your not alone... Rae
I think the same way somedays. You are not alone. It has been 3 months for me and I still have bad days. Anytime someone calls me and they have been to a doctor or hospital I say" what did they give you "? Then comes hope you feel better... That is an addict for you always worried about what scripts everyone else is getting,LOL
Anyway tomorrow is a new day. Your not alone... Rae
Tom,
You crack me up. I knew you were going to say that! Yea, hubby is back and things are going well. This was the first separation we've ever had in the twenty years we've been married and although I hope its the last, I think there is something to the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" theory.
Anyways, Tommy is 6. And we have two others, a daughter, Nicky (she spells it Nikki) and another son Alex who is 11. I'm 47 so I'm an old mom. I did everything late, got married at 29, first child at 32, second at 35 and Tommy was my forty year birthday surprise. Turned forty and found out about a week later I was pregnant. I think I told you Thomas is a family name on my side. Lots of Toms.
Anyways, speaking of Toms, he's in my ear talking away, so I better at least pretend I'm listening. You hang in my friend. Love, Roe
You crack me up. I knew you were going to say that! Yea, hubby is back and things are going well. This was the first separation we've ever had in the twenty years we've been married and although I hope its the last, I think there is something to the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" theory.
Anyways, Tommy is 6. And we have two others, a daughter, Nicky (she spells it Nikki) and another son Alex who is 11. I'm 47 so I'm an old mom. I did everything late, got married at 29, first child at 32, second at 35 and Tommy was my forty year birthday surprise. Turned forty and found out about a week later I was pregnant. I think I told you Thomas is a family name on my side. Lots of Toms.
Anyways, speaking of Toms, he's in my ear talking away, so I better at least pretend I'm listening. You hang in my friend. Love, Roe
hello tom -
what step are you working?
namaste'
sammy
what step are you working?
namaste'
sammy
Sammy,
Three, did you really need to ask?
Regards,
Tom
Three, did you really need to ask?
Regards,
Tom
no sweetie - i didn't have to ask.
i was just concerned when i read you message.
good to see you have worked step one. it's also good to see you did not use.
namaste'
sammy
i was just concerned when i read you message.
good to see you have worked step one. it's also good to see you did not use.
namaste'
sammy
Sammy,
It just occurred to me I might have came off a little sarcastic when I said "did you need to ask"... I didnt mean it that way if thats how it sounded.
Regards,
Tom
It just occurred to me I might have came off a little sarcastic when I said "did you need to ask"... I didnt mean it that way if thats how it sounded.
Regards,
Tom
Tom
Its good to hear from you. You know you have always offered me really good advise and have always helped me. You even told me about the feelings. How they will come and go. So you know what to do. Go FISHING.
Take care Tom
Frank
well, good try anyhow & you wouldn't have known if u hadnt tried.
ahhhh you old lug -
i didn't think you came off as sarcastic tom...was just wondering if you had worked step one. it did me good to go back and look/think about the reservations part i might have had when i did step one when i had cravings.
ya know - it's been a while since i've had a craving but i remember them well. i'm going to pass on something to you that was passed on to me about cravings and this is so simple and has helped me tremedously. we shift our perception where cravings are concerned. all a craving is, is a sign that there is some issue within that i need to address. i might not even be aware at the time as to what that issue is; yet, when i have a desire to use that's a huge signal of a way i use to cope with my problems.
the shift in perception is - instead of fearing cravings or becoming all willy nilly because i am having them, i embrace them gratefully and see them as an opportunity that if i work through whatever it is that is bothering me AND don't fall back in old negative coping skills (using or the behavior that surrounded my using), my spirit will awake. my spirit doesn't always awake in the time span i want it to; however, it's that shift our perception from a negative to a positive that is what i believe a miracle is.
i hope something i said helps. have you had a chance to speak to your sponsor about this? when will you finished your third step? maybe this is a nudge to complete the 3rd step, move on and work the 4th? what a freeing experience working the 4th step is!
hugs and tons of encouragment to you -
sammy
i didn't think you came off as sarcastic tom...was just wondering if you had worked step one. it did me good to go back and look/think about the reservations part i might have had when i did step one when i had cravings.
ya know - it's been a while since i've had a craving but i remember them well. i'm going to pass on something to you that was passed on to me about cravings and this is so simple and has helped me tremedously. we shift our perception where cravings are concerned. all a craving is, is a sign that there is some issue within that i need to address. i might not even be aware at the time as to what that issue is; yet, when i have a desire to use that's a huge signal of a way i use to cope with my problems.
the shift in perception is - instead of fearing cravings or becoming all willy nilly because i am having them, i embrace them gratefully and see them as an opportunity that if i work through whatever it is that is bothering me AND don't fall back in old negative coping skills (using or the behavior that surrounded my using), my spirit will awake. my spirit doesn't always awake in the time span i want it to; however, it's that shift our perception from a negative to a positive that is what i believe a miracle is.
i hope something i said helps. have you had a chance to speak to your sponsor about this? when will you finished your third step? maybe this is a nudge to complete the 3rd step, move on and work the 4th? what a freeing experience working the 4th step is!
hugs and tons of encouragment to you -
sammy
Dear Tom I am so sorry to hear that.There isnt much to say except that Im just beginning to realize that my addiction is going to be for the rest of my life.Its not something like a cold that can go away.Its something that is in us.how & why it got there is the big question.But now that we let ourselves entertain it I dont think it will ever totally go away.Oh yeah it may lay dormit for mths even years where we dont even think about drugs.But it will always be there trying to trap us up again
In other words.Its gonna be a life long mental battle.The best thing you can do is what youve done.Thats to reach out & be honest about it to yourself.So if you need to vent vent away that is why there is a recovery board.....mj
In other words.Its gonna be a life long mental battle.The best thing you can do is what youve done.Thats to reach out & be honest about it to yourself.So if you need to vent vent away that is why there is a recovery board.....mj
