Hi all,
I know many of you have commented that you are in similar situations with children: aggression, crazy thinking, crazy behavior.
I am curious how you protect yourself. Also, specifically, what are your thoughts on restraining orders? Do they help or make things worse? I am really interested in hearing any experiences with restraining orders and irrational behavior.
I really thought that things were mellowing slightly with the aggression. Today, I experienced something I never have. I have never seen my son like this. I believe he may be trying a new drug, because it was so different.
I love him to pieces, but I was absolutely terrified of him today. I am afraid when he turns 18, I am going to have to get a restraining order. But, not sure how effective they are.
Also, I have called the police in the past. They do nothing because there is 'no crime'. I do have a few options for involuntary but he would be back in 3-5 days. So...
I guess I am looking for experiences outside of calling police because, at least where I live, it does absolutely no good at all.
Thanks for any info.
Parenting,
I do not intend to be overly dramatic, but I do want to tell you that you should take your concerns very seriously. I worked as a detective for many, many years. I have been involved in multiple investigations in which a drug addict shot, killed, beat to death, etc... a loved one. I've been on cases where a drug addicted son killed his mother. A mother he loved, and normally would not hurt, but drugs make you do things that we would never expect. In my career, I have dealt with these offenders after they are clean and sober, and you would never, NEVER believe they were capable of killing a loved one. Please keep yourself safe. A restraining order can help, but you must be willing to call 911 immediately if it is violated. You can love your son with all your heart, but you must keep yourself safe.
Hugs and best wishes,
sombra
I do not intend to be overly dramatic, but I do want to tell you that you should take your concerns very seriously. I worked as a detective for many, many years. I have been involved in multiple investigations in which a drug addict shot, killed, beat to death, etc... a loved one. I've been on cases where a drug addicted son killed his mother. A mother he loved, and normally would not hurt, but drugs make you do things that we would never expect. In my career, I have dealt with these offenders after they are clean and sober, and you would never, NEVER believe they were capable of killing a loved one. Please keep yourself safe. A restraining order can help, but you must be willing to call 911 immediately if it is violated. You can love your son with all your heart, but you must keep yourself safe.
Hugs and best wishes,
sombra
Sombra,
I do believe you. I do know that my son could hurt me and then, even minutes later, regret it and be 'normal'.
I want to protect myself and to stay safe. I am just not sure how to do it. I don't think the police really understand how bad it is. He acts normal when they show up. He even has convinced them of weird reasons why he behaves the way he did. He can be rather charming. And, everyone I talk to seems to just take the stance that I am his mom, so...like there is something wrong with me that I am afraid of him.
Another family member actually finally heard him when he is enraged. They were completely floored. But, people in the family are finally understanding!! The family member actually apologized for all I have went through and he never understood, and told me that I cannot live this way.
I just don't know what to do about it.
I do believe you. I do know that my son could hurt me and then, even minutes later, regret it and be 'normal'.
I want to protect myself and to stay safe. I am just not sure how to do it. I don't think the police really understand how bad it is. He acts normal when they show up. He even has convinced them of weird reasons why he behaves the way he did. He can be rather charming. And, everyone I talk to seems to just take the stance that I am his mom, so...like there is something wrong with me that I am afraid of him.
Another family member actually finally heard him when he is enraged. They were completely floored. But, people in the family are finally understanding!! The family member actually apologized for all I have went through and he never understood, and told me that I cannot live this way.
I just don't know what to do about it.
Hello Parenting,
Where does your husband stand on this? Is he alarmed by your son's behavior? Does he know you need to be protected? or does he just think light of it? Is your husband OK w a restraining order? Your son will not be allowed at your house or any where you are.
I have not had a restraining order against anyone. idk how it works. my son has not been aggressive. Your son sounds aggressive and manipulating - scary. Knowing what we have all gone thru with our addicted children, I would be inclined to move to a different area. and get the restraining order.
In the meantime, keep practicing that you are not alone w your son. even it it means you need leave the house and spend time somewhere else. Should you rent a studio apartment to go to, or does a family member have room for you to use when you need to get away? Maybe you should move now. That could be a good wake up call for your husband.
It is hard being US. my husband does not like that my son is using drugs, but does not do anything or say anything. It always ends up being me. I think my husband does not want to be involved so he can take the 5th on anything that comes up. The easy way out. (I knew Nothing!) and if anything happens, mom is involved.
idk..... be safe...
Where does your husband stand on this? Is he alarmed by your son's behavior? Does he know you need to be protected? or does he just think light of it? Is your husband OK w a restraining order? Your son will not be allowed at your house or any where you are.
I have not had a restraining order against anyone. idk how it works. my son has not been aggressive. Your son sounds aggressive and manipulating - scary. Knowing what we have all gone thru with our addicted children, I would be inclined to move to a different area. and get the restraining order.
In the meantime, keep practicing that you are not alone w your son. even it it means you need leave the house and spend time somewhere else. Should you rent a studio apartment to go to, or does a family member have room for you to use when you need to get away? Maybe you should move now. That could be a good wake up call for your husband.
It is hard being US. my husband does not like that my son is using drugs, but does not do anything or say anything. It always ends up being me. I think my husband does not want to be involved so he can take the 5th on anything that comes up. The easy way out. (I knew Nothing!) and if anything happens, mom is involved.
idk..... be safe...
Hi NY,
Thanks so much. Actually, we are all in the same boat with the shock and fear and sort of, helpless feeling at his rage. My husband did think I was crazy when I was going around looking for him. And, I have felt very alone in this.
But, when it comes to this behaviour, he is on board with whatever it takes. He had not really dealt with the police before (I did and usually tried to keep it out of the house because of the other kids). So, I don't think he believed me that they were so hands off.
Recently, I had to call the police again and he was involved. The behavior was shocking. He thought they were going to really come in and help. (I knew they wouldn't from past interactions). They always do the same thing. One officer talks to my son and one talks to us. This time, my son basically convinced them that he acted out because I favor my other son and give my other son presents right in front of him to make him mad. Obviously, I have never done this. Not sure if the drugs made him hallucinate this or if he was manipulating. Anyway, this officer comes in and explains this to me, with some tidbits of parenting advice on how not to favor. Can you imagine? My husband did lay it out for this officer and explained all we have been dealing with and the extremely aggressive, threatening behavior. At least, I felt supported. I felt that someone was explaining besides me.
It keeps getting stranger. I had a kid walking around my car last night. Said he lost something. Very polite but where he came from, no clue. I told him to leave and he did. Never seen him before.
Anyway, this is definitely getting worse. And, cannot continue.
Thanks so much. Actually, we are all in the same boat with the shock and fear and sort of, helpless feeling at his rage. My husband did think I was crazy when I was going around looking for him. And, I have felt very alone in this.
But, when it comes to this behaviour, he is on board with whatever it takes. He had not really dealt with the police before (I did and usually tried to keep it out of the house because of the other kids). So, I don't think he believed me that they were so hands off.
Recently, I had to call the police again and he was involved. The behavior was shocking. He thought they were going to really come in and help. (I knew they wouldn't from past interactions). They always do the same thing. One officer talks to my son and one talks to us. This time, my son basically convinced them that he acted out because I favor my other son and give my other son presents right in front of him to make him mad. Obviously, I have never done this. Not sure if the drugs made him hallucinate this or if he was manipulating. Anyway, this officer comes in and explains this to me, with some tidbits of parenting advice on how not to favor. Can you imagine? My husband did lay it out for this officer and explained all we have been dealing with and the extremely aggressive, threatening behavior. At least, I felt supported. I felt that someone was explaining besides me.
It keeps getting stranger. I had a kid walking around my car last night. Said he lost something. Very polite but where he came from, no clue. I told him to leave and he did. Never seen him before.
Anyway, this is definitely getting worse. And, cannot continue.
I also am taking that advice to never be alone with him. I am trying my best to limit contact, even.
At some point, I am seriously considering moving once my children are done with school.
Thanks everyone! No one really understands what we are going through!
At some point, I am seriously considering moving once my children are done with school.
Thanks everyone! No one really understands what we are going through!
At the end of the day a protection order is nothing but a piece of paper. Yes if you got one once he's 18 and he showed up around you, you could get him arrested - but there's the time waiting for the police and anything can happen. Especially with people on drugs.
I don't have a kid on drugs (I hope to hell my daughter never does because she's already going to be on medication for the rest of her life. I fear if she tried anything else it might kill her). But my ex is a meth addict and when he was in withdrawals he was dangerous. He physically assaulted me three times. One time I was pregnant. It is scary when he is like that because it's like he's possessed. Each time if I looked into his eyes they were dead. It was like he wasn't in there. The last time - that's exactly what I saw when he was strangling me with his hands. I fought so hard to not pass out because our daughter was in the other room and four months old at the time.
I know a couple times his mom was scared of him. One time was after I had gone with her to pick him up after his stripper meth head side piece got arrested. I only went because I didn't know what he might do. He had been on a week long meth binge with that "woman." He was mad that she got arrested. He was irrational. I didn't want his mom to get hurt and her car was a pos. The whole way back we argued. I dropped them off - he slammed my car door. Then she called when I got to my dad's and said he was throwing stuff around and acting crazy. I told her my dad and I would come over. She said no she thought she would be fine. I don't think he hurt her. I'm not sure if he ever has physically. I think he has shoved her maybe.
How long until your son is 18? I would say do whatever you can legally do until then to protect yourself and then when he's 18 if he's still acting like this you kick him out. You change the locks. Get a protection order. If he comes around, then he can get arrested if you have that. Your husband needs to be firm on not letting him back too.
I can't believe the cops won't do anything if he has gotten physical. I know sometimes and each state is different there is only so much legally they can do. I would go talk to a lawyer and see what you can do while he's a minor.
I don't have a kid on drugs (I hope to hell my daughter never does because she's already going to be on medication for the rest of her life. I fear if she tried anything else it might kill her). But my ex is a meth addict and when he was in withdrawals he was dangerous. He physically assaulted me three times. One time I was pregnant. It is scary when he is like that because it's like he's possessed. Each time if I looked into his eyes they were dead. It was like he wasn't in there. The last time - that's exactly what I saw when he was strangling me with his hands. I fought so hard to not pass out because our daughter was in the other room and four months old at the time.
I know a couple times his mom was scared of him. One time was after I had gone with her to pick him up after his stripper meth head side piece got arrested. I only went because I didn't know what he might do. He had been on a week long meth binge with that "woman." He was mad that she got arrested. He was irrational. I didn't want his mom to get hurt and her car was a pos. The whole way back we argued. I dropped them off - he slammed my car door. Then she called when I got to my dad's and said he was throwing stuff around and acting crazy. I told her my dad and I would come over. She said no she thought she would be fine. I don't think he hurt her. I'm not sure if he ever has physically. I think he has shoved her maybe.
How long until your son is 18? I would say do whatever you can legally do until then to protect yourself and then when he's 18 if he's still acting like this you kick him out. You change the locks. Get a protection order. If he comes around, then he can get arrested if you have that. Your husband needs to be firm on not letting him back too.
I can't believe the cops won't do anything if he has gotten physical. I know sometimes and each state is different there is only so much legally they can do. I would go talk to a lawyer and see what you can do while he's a minor.
Parenting--
I know how difficult it is with an addicted son that is an adult and I know how hard it is for you with a minor! I have been there!
With our son after he turned 18 when he got abusive we never allowed him in the house and he has never been allowed to live with us after he turned 18. I realize you have a minor, but as soon as he turns 18 I would pack up his stuff and put him out with the instructions that he will only get your help when he is clean and getting rehab or help!
We recently put a 6 month no contact restriction on our son because he was so verbally abusive and acting really bizarre. We told him no contact until Jan. 2018 and only if he is clean and getting his life in order. He tried once more to contact us thru FB but I did not respond and have him blocked. He hasn't tried since. I do not know where he is or how he is doing. It is difficult but necessary if I was to ever have a life of my own and for the rest of my family's sake. I believe Sombra did the same thing and she gave me the idea.
I am praying for a resolution for you and your young son before he ends up a life long addict like my Chris at age 46. I am so aware of the pain and agony you are going through as well as I have been there and done that. The one thing I would tell you is do something NOW because if you keep making excuses or enabling them you will be like me--71 with a 46 y/o who will probably never escape his horrible life and choices.
(((HUGS))) Lori
I know how difficult it is with an addicted son that is an adult and I know how hard it is for you with a minor! I have been there!
With our son after he turned 18 when he got abusive we never allowed him in the house and he has never been allowed to live with us after he turned 18. I realize you have a minor, but as soon as he turns 18 I would pack up his stuff and put him out with the instructions that he will only get your help when he is clean and getting rehab or help!
We recently put a 6 month no contact restriction on our son because he was so verbally abusive and acting really bizarre. We told him no contact until Jan. 2018 and only if he is clean and getting his life in order. He tried once more to contact us thru FB but I did not respond and have him blocked. He hasn't tried since. I do not know where he is or how he is doing. It is difficult but necessary if I was to ever have a life of my own and for the rest of my family's sake. I believe Sombra did the same thing and she gave me the idea.
I am praying for a resolution for you and your young son before he ends up a life long addict like my Chris at age 46. I am so aware of the pain and agony you are going through as well as I have been there and done that. The one thing I would tell you is do something NOW because if you keep making excuses or enabling them you will be like me--71 with a 46 y/o who will probably never escape his horrible life and choices.
(((HUGS))) Lori
Lori,
Thank you so much for sharing and for the insight. It will be the hardest thing, but I know he must go at 18. As I have probably overshared : ), I have tried everything.
And, the other kids deserve to not see this abusive ranting. Life is so short and precious. I want to enjoy every moment and I want my son to also. But, he just is not there. And, unfortunately, he is abusive and hateful to me. So, I have no other option.
I have lowered my expectations and....keep focusing on the serenity prayer! :)
Thank you so much for sharing and for the insight. It will be the hardest thing, but I know he must go at 18. As I have probably overshared : ), I have tried everything.
And, the other kids deserve to not see this abusive ranting. Life is so short and precious. I want to enjoy every moment and I want my son to also. But, he just is not there. And, unfortunately, he is abusive and hateful to me. So, I have no other option.
I have lowered my expectations and....keep focusing on the serenity prayer! :)
Hi P, I'm sorry he's acting like this now. The police are no help. They always believe the addict. I don't know why but my daughter is good at making them think my husband and I are crazy and they can't tell she's lying. One time while we were calling the cops on her, she got on her cell phone and called them on us saying we were hitting her and screaming into the phone "Stop it, stop it, your hurting me". Terrible! I could hardly believe this was my daughter. But although I get frightened of her at times, I never let her think for a minute she scares me, which maybe is wrong. I've been on Chemo fighting cancer and she's started in on me. Fell down stairs broke my toes and she stepped over me taking the $20 out of my hand as she went. Squeezed my cheeks when I told her to get out my car once I was giving her a ride and spat, missing me on the way out. It's awful! I could write a book of the abuse It's all a guessing game of what to do at times. In the long run you do what keeps you safe. Do you know what his drugs of choice are? The guy walking around your car was probably looking to get into it and steal. Maybe an outside camera and a nanny cam in the area he gets abusive will help too. I feel for you P and understand what your going through. I have key locks on all my bedroom doors. I also keep a gun In the house now too. I'd never want to use it but it's her friends that I don't trust. It's a nightmare and people who dont have this problem haven't a clue how we live. Yes, Serenity prayer helps calm me too. Take care. Mary.
Mandm
That's so weird that the police in your area believe addicts over others. That's not been my case. I called the police on my ex husband last year in April. We had gotten back together after his second rehab stint two years ago when I thought he had finally gotten serious about sobriety. By Mar of last year he ended up living with me again after I stupidly bailed him out. Relapse. Shenanigans. Took my car and said if I didn't send him some money he'd wreck it. I called the police. They luckily were still there when he came home. They cuffed him as soon as he walked in the door and he denied he took the car without my permission. "She said I could take it." I said no I didn't. They cuffed him, searched him, hauled him off for unauthorized use of a vehicle. Then he got mad, broke a window that night in jail and got another charge. That could have been a year but the prosecutor said if he plead guilty he'd get time served (a month) so he did that.
I don't think any police officer anywhere would ever believe him. Especially up in his hometown area. There are at least two county sheriffs who know him on sight...
I think females can bs them easier sometimes. Not always. My ex husband though did bs the female cop who was first assigned when he hit me the first time. He's good at smooth talking women.
That's so weird that the police in your area believe addicts over others. That's not been my case. I called the police on my ex husband last year in April. We had gotten back together after his second rehab stint two years ago when I thought he had finally gotten serious about sobriety. By Mar of last year he ended up living with me again after I stupidly bailed him out. Relapse. Shenanigans. Took my car and said if I didn't send him some money he'd wreck it. I called the police. They luckily were still there when he came home. They cuffed him as soon as he walked in the door and he denied he took the car without my permission. "She said I could take it." I said no I didn't. They cuffed him, searched him, hauled him off for unauthorized use of a vehicle. Then he got mad, broke a window that night in jail and got another charge. That could have been a year but the prosecutor said if he plead guilty he'd get time served (a month) so he did that.
I don't think any police officer anywhere would ever believe him. Especially up in his hometown area. There are at least two county sheriffs who know him on sight...
I think females can bs them easier sometimes. Not always. My ex husband though did bs the female cop who was first assigned when he hit me the first time. He's good at smooth talking women.
Yes I guess it must be hard to believe because I know it was for me too.But there's Parenting had the same problem. How dare they lecture you on favoring one child over the other P. It just shows you who they believe. It's ridiculous! Sparks...I think the reason they were quick to arrest your husband was because they had something on him with stealing your car and knew his reputation...I don't know for sure. But when it's a she said we said situation it's a case of believing who they want to. My daughter years ago came to my house(rural) with 3 other cars. She told them it was her sisters house. She had ripped one of them off for money and came to me to get it. They had picked her up off the street held her at gun point on the way to my house threatening to kill her if they didn't get the money she owed them $75. When she came in we called the police. They arrived 15 mins later in two cars with their sirens blaring. We told them the "cheerleaders" in one car and the guys in the two other cars had guns. No one got arrested. This was an upscale town where everyone is a professional. It's known as a bedroom community. So whether that was the reason and they knew the kids, all about 18-20years old at the time, I'm guessing. My daughter was almost 18 and a straight "A"student too.Fast forward 18 yrs and she's still an addict. We moved from there many years ago now. It's easy to say what you'll do with your kid when they turn into a drug addict. I use to play the tough love card too. Nothing works once they get the taste for drugs as you know with your husband. Sorry your going through this. Wishing you well. Mary.
story time. embarrassed to day we dealt with my daughter being addicted first. my son is older and was graduated from college and living across county. (little did we know our son was on his way to addiction too) they were not together and never partied together. their addiction lives have been completely separate. we knew she was having problems and put her car in her name, so we would not be liable if she had an accident. Once I knew she was driving impaired, I took the keys and would not let her drive. over a few weeks time, she called the police and discussed whether it was legal for me to prevent her from driving. Answer: NO. the car was in her name. then, she told me this news and told me she would call the police if I did not give her the keys. I did not. she called. The PO talked to her outside and to me inside. I told them she is under the influence of drugs and should not be driving. He said - yes she told me, but you (me) could not keep the keys bc the car is in her name. I had to give her the keys..... she probably told him I was crazy....
then, she had a few fender benders - we put the car in the garage while taking a few months to fix it. then, I lost my job and had the free time to drive her to work and college classes. I know it sucks for me but I felt I was saving someone from being run over by her.... oh - she did run over our dog in the drive way... that sucked for everyone. I still blame myself that I did not bring the dog inside that morning before going to work....
The police treat domestic abuse differently. In our area they Must arrest someone if they are called. and its usually the male otherwise, they are liable if someone gets injured.
our daughter smartened up after we kick her out and she sat on a couch in a friends basement apartment without a car and tried to find a job..... she realized she did not want to live like that.
then, she had a few fender benders - we put the car in the garage while taking a few months to fix it. then, I lost my job and had the free time to drive her to work and college classes. I know it sucks for me but I felt I was saving someone from being run over by her.... oh - she did run over our dog in the drive way... that sucked for everyone. I still blame myself that I did not bring the dog inside that morning before going to work....
The police treat domestic abuse differently. In our area they Must arrest someone if they are called. and its usually the male otherwise, they are liable if someone gets injured.
our daughter smartened up after we kick her out and she sat on a couch in a friends basement apartment without a car and tried to find a job..... she realized she did not want to live like that.
Then.... we realized our son was addicted. that was about 4 years ago. he is still addicted and in denial. he is working full time, living w gf - who takes prescription meds.... so they think its OK to self medicate (in denial of addiction). It is sad to watch him with nothing week after week, when he is working full time and has nothing. It is overwhelming to think of where this is going to go.
We have always helped him out. for two years he was in florida, rehab, sober living, and relapsing. he recently came back to home area. I find it hard to believe he did not learn anything from being away and being homeless at times and having clean times.... we just cant think of anything left to do to get thru to him. mostly we limit our contact w him. and hope he gets tired of the life and nothing terrible happens.
We have always helped him out. for two years he was in florida, rehab, sober living, and relapsing. he recently came back to home area. I find it hard to believe he did not learn anything from being away and being homeless at times and having clean times.... we just cant think of anything left to do to get thru to him. mostly we limit our contact w him. and hope he gets tired of the life and nothing terrible happens.
Parenting - sorry you are going thru this. I did not know you have other children at home. It is difficult to try to be 'normal' family for the sake of your children, yet you are distracted and overwhelmed and heart broken of this. Our youngest has been watching her siblings and us go thru this for 6 years! She was in high school when it started and has graduated college this year.
At times she wanted to know what was going on... I would try to fill her in bc I did think she should know why we are so stressed, and what was really going on. And she needed to know to protect herself if necessary. to not come home or to go to a friends house if something crazy was going on. that was never necessary, but I felt she needed to know. Sometimes she would say she wanted to know what was going on, did not want it to be a secret, and then when I would tell her she would feel how overwhelming it was, and then say "I don't want to talk about it!"
Our son is out of the house. so that is good. it does make a difference to not be on egg shells in your own home.
At times she wanted to know what was going on... I would try to fill her in bc I did think she should know why we are so stressed, and what was really going on. And she needed to know to protect herself if necessary. to not come home or to go to a friends house if something crazy was going on. that was never necessary, but I felt she needed to know. Sometimes she would say she wanted to know what was going on, did not want it to be a secret, and then when I would tell her she would feel how overwhelming it was, and then say "I don't want to talk about it!"
Our son is out of the house. so that is good. it does make a difference to not be on egg shells in your own home.
Thank you, everyone.
To be honest, I don't understand the police, either. Maybe they deal with this so much, they become immune to it?
I never knew any children or teens who acted like this when I was growing up. Zero. The first time I had to call the police, I thought they would really talk to him, maybe give him a night in jail for his verbal abuse. They were kind of like shrugging their shoulders-so what do you want us to do. He even broke a window that time. The officer told us that we really don't want to charge a young kid like that. That he was probably just dealing with hormones, etc. Another officer did say he wondered if he was on synthetics. I am in awe of how little control the police have. I think that is part of the problem with these kids. The laws have changed to take power away from parents and the kids don't respect the police because they know they won't do anything.
He has not hit me. He has threatened and come close. I know if he actually hits me, they would take him (I think!).
I have no idea what drugs he is on. He only admits to pot, but probably spice and we are seriously worried about meth. It's getting worse, so I think he is moving to other drugs.
He comes across as a nice, mellow teen, so not sure if that is the problem with the police. We have even wondered if they want him out running around as part of an investigation. One of the officers (never seen him) told me he knew my son very well. I was really pissed off. I thought -here I have been running around in the middle of the night looking for him. Yet, the police interact with him and don't bring him home????
Anyway, this has been a sad year. I have watched my son spiral down to this. I know I need to kick him out unless he agrees to get help. :(
To be honest, I don't understand the police, either. Maybe they deal with this so much, they become immune to it?
I never knew any children or teens who acted like this when I was growing up. Zero. The first time I had to call the police, I thought they would really talk to him, maybe give him a night in jail for his verbal abuse. They were kind of like shrugging their shoulders-so what do you want us to do. He even broke a window that time. The officer told us that we really don't want to charge a young kid like that. That he was probably just dealing with hormones, etc. Another officer did say he wondered if he was on synthetics. I am in awe of how little control the police have. I think that is part of the problem with these kids. The laws have changed to take power away from parents and the kids don't respect the police because they know they won't do anything.
He has not hit me. He has threatened and come close. I know if he actually hits me, they would take him (I think!).
I have no idea what drugs he is on. He only admits to pot, but probably spice and we are seriously worried about meth. It's getting worse, so I think he is moving to other drugs.
He comes across as a nice, mellow teen, so not sure if that is the problem with the police. We have even wondered if they want him out running around as part of an investigation. One of the officers (never seen him) told me he knew my son very well. I was really pissed off. I thought -here I have been running around in the middle of the night looking for him. Yet, the police interact with him and don't bring him home????
Anyway, this has been a sad year. I have watched my son spiral down to this. I know I need to kick him out unless he agrees to get help. :(
