Hey all...
I tried to go to an AA meeting today on my lunch break and I had to get up and leave because there was an EXTREMELY drunk man there being very disruptive. He was even saying the speaker/host of the meeting was "full of crap" among other inappropriate things.
I don't know... maybe I'm too early in my recovery to be able to handle these things, but I had to leave. Does anybody know the rules for these types of situations? I understand AA/NA should be welcome to anybody with a DESIRE to quit using, but at what point is it just inappropriate for someone to be there?
Thanks, Aqua
Hi Aqua,
Sorry about your bad experience. I have to say that there have been people that smelled of alcohol when I have attended meetings.........and I am glad that they came, but they didnt seem disruptive at all. Regarding the fellow that was too drunk and disoriented, it would seem that someone (a male) would have come up and talked with him.
I am too early in the program to really know what to say to you except to try another meeting. Most of the experiences I have had have been good. Don't let this one experience scare you into not attending. AA/NA meetings are very good tools to support your sobriety.
I am sure someone else will post and give you more insight.
Good luck.
-Gentlepeace
Sorry about your bad experience. I have to say that there have been people that smelled of alcohol when I have attended meetings.........and I am glad that they came, but they didnt seem disruptive at all. Regarding the fellow that was too drunk and disoriented, it would seem that someone (a male) would have come up and talked with him.
I am too early in the program to really know what to say to you except to try another meeting. Most of the experiences I have had have been good. Don't let this one experience scare you into not attending. AA/NA meetings are very good tools to support your sobriety.
I am sure someone else will post and give you more insight.
Good luck.
-Gentlepeace
Thanks...
I feel better about the situation now, I just found it really disturbing at the time. Everybody in the room could hear him and at times it was difficult to hear the speaker. There was one man who was sitting right next to him (the intoxicated guy) and he got up and moved to the other side of the room.
I guess I was just surprised by the whole situation. I'm not giving up though! I'm going to a 7:00 meeting here in a few minutes, I just hope he's not there again, since it's at the same place. Anyway, have a good evening!
Aqua
I feel better about the situation now, I just found it really disturbing at the time. Everybody in the room could hear him and at times it was difficult to hear the speaker. There was one man who was sitting right next to him (the intoxicated guy) and he got up and moved to the other side of the room.
I guess I was just surprised by the whole situation. I'm not giving up though! I'm going to a 7:00 meeting here in a few minutes, I just hope he's not there again, since it's at the same place. Anyway, have a good evening!
Aqua
Hiya Aqua ~
Welcome to the ARG pain pills board. Your voice has strengthened this family by one.
It's good to see you are attending 12 step meetings and congratulations on making the decision to embrace recovery. What a glorious gift you are giving yourself.
I remember a time...a few 24 hours ago, when I showed up at an AA meeting drunk. You see, I had a date scheduled for that night, who was going to meet me for dinner. My date must have had second thoughts and never showed. And my big fat ego got in my way, because how dare "you" or anyone stand me up!
So what did I do to stop the pain I felt from being rejected? Reach into my "toolbox" that I had a few "tools" in, or call someone, like my sponsor (whom I hadn't spoken with for some time)? Heck no - I ordered a drink, then another, then another and became rather tidley in a relative short period of time.
With my bruised ego, feeling much unloved and unaccepted, I drunkenedly stumbled into my old home group. I truly believe that God does for us when we cannot do for ourselves. Why did I choose to get into my car - drive drunk (what horrible thoughts in retrospect of consequences I or someone else could have suffered due to driving drunk), and go to an AA meeting? Because deep down I knew, therein lies the solution to my hurt...if only I was willing to put the plug in the jug, my ego aside, and allow the miracle of recovery to happen.
When I stumbled into that meeting, it certainly was not with the epitome of social grace. Quite the contrary - I made a grand entrance with my boistrous ego in its grandest display, stumbling and bumbling; yet somehow managed to find a seat to a meeting that was already in progress.
Two old-timers were there, who knew me and both subtly came up and sat in the chairs on each side of me. Each one held my hands and deep down I knew I was loved and this is where I wanted to be. The tears flowed down my cheeks as my heart wept - not because I had been stood up, but because someone was there who knew what I was going through and could offer the proactive solution.
After the meeting, one of the guys sitting next to me asked me to give him my car keys - he volunteered to drive me home. The other was going to follow him and return him to his car. Without reservation, I handed over my car keys and these two old-timers took me home, fixed a pot of coffee, and we had a meeting after the meeting discussing what had happened earlier that evening and the first step. These two old-timers took the time to love me when I could not love myself and for their love, I will be forever grateful.
I've since been to meetings where people had been using. Early in my recovery when seeing people high, I walked away in disgust. However, over the years and through the experience of that I shared of above, I learned, that the longer I hang around, don't use, continue to the next right thing, more is revealed to my spirit. Our primary purpose is to give back to the still suffering and what a wonderful place to do so...at a meeting.
I would be very interested to know if you go back to that meeting and find out what happend to that person, after you left. Who knows, maybe a mircale occured; however, I think it already did in the mere fact that he showed up.
Hugs to you ~
Sammy
Welcome to the ARG pain pills board. Your voice has strengthened this family by one.
It's good to see you are attending 12 step meetings and congratulations on making the decision to embrace recovery. What a glorious gift you are giving yourself.
I remember a time...a few 24 hours ago, when I showed up at an AA meeting drunk. You see, I had a date scheduled for that night, who was going to meet me for dinner. My date must have had second thoughts and never showed. And my big fat ego got in my way, because how dare "you" or anyone stand me up!
So what did I do to stop the pain I felt from being rejected? Reach into my "toolbox" that I had a few "tools" in, or call someone, like my sponsor (whom I hadn't spoken with for some time)? Heck no - I ordered a drink, then another, then another and became rather tidley in a relative short period of time.
With my bruised ego, feeling much unloved and unaccepted, I drunkenedly stumbled into my old home group. I truly believe that God does for us when we cannot do for ourselves. Why did I choose to get into my car - drive drunk (what horrible thoughts in retrospect of consequences I or someone else could have suffered due to driving drunk), and go to an AA meeting? Because deep down I knew, therein lies the solution to my hurt...if only I was willing to put the plug in the jug, my ego aside, and allow the miracle of recovery to happen.
When I stumbled into that meeting, it certainly was not with the epitome of social grace. Quite the contrary - I made a grand entrance with my boistrous ego in its grandest display, stumbling and bumbling; yet somehow managed to find a seat to a meeting that was already in progress.
Two old-timers were there, who knew me and both subtly came up and sat in the chairs on each side of me. Each one held my hands and deep down I knew I was loved and this is where I wanted to be. The tears flowed down my cheeks as my heart wept - not because I had been stood up, but because someone was there who knew what I was going through and could offer the proactive solution.
After the meeting, one of the guys sitting next to me asked me to give him my car keys - he volunteered to drive me home. The other was going to follow him and return him to his car. Without reservation, I handed over my car keys and these two old-timers took me home, fixed a pot of coffee, and we had a meeting after the meeting discussing what had happened earlier that evening and the first step. These two old-timers took the time to love me when I could not love myself and for their love, I will be forever grateful.
I've since been to meetings where people had been using. Early in my recovery when seeing people high, I walked away in disgust. However, over the years and through the experience of that I shared of above, I learned, that the longer I hang around, don't use, continue to the next right thing, more is revealed to my spirit. Our primary purpose is to give back to the still suffering and what a wonderful place to do so...at a meeting.
I would be very interested to know if you go back to that meeting and find out what happend to that person, after you left. Who knows, maybe a mircale occured; however, I think it already did in the mere fact that he showed up.
Hugs to you ~
Sammy
Wow Sammy... thanks for the reply. I never did take even a second to consider what the 'other guy' might be going through. It is an eye opener. He didn't show up to the 7:00 meeting that I went to (in fact only about 10 people did), however I will try to keep an eye or ear open to find out what happened. I am thinking he is NOT a regular because (at least from the 10 minutes or so that I was there) no one mentioned his name or warmly embraced him in any manner. he did stand up to introduce himself when it was asked if there were any newcomers. additionally when we were talking about 'birthdays' and being clean for 24 hours he made the comment "what about two hours"...
anyway, if i hear anything i will be sure to let you know. thanks, though, i do appreciate your side of the story. sometimes i get so caught up in my emotions and MY sobriety (especially since it hasn't been a long time at all) that I forget the big picture. take care.
aqua
anyway, if i hear anything i will be sure to let you know. thanks, though, i do appreciate your side of the story. sometimes i get so caught up in my emotions and MY sobriety (especially since it hasn't been a long time at all) that I forget the big picture. take care.
aqua
Sammy-I'm sure you would have been a lovely date that night.LOL
great story.
Aqua-It happens quite a lot.The very first meeting I went to I was tanked to the gills.
The usual protocol is for the moderator or another member to try and get the one causing the disturbance to leave the meeting and go outside and talk.It doesn't always go down smoothly either.They can get belligerant.You try and get them out of the meeting any way you can so not disturb the group.
Let's face it.A lot of people tend not to come to their first meetings sober.That's why they are going.
One meeting I like to attend in Houston on Friday night is called "Alive And Kicking".It's a predominantly black group on the east side and is in the middle of the worst section of Houston.There are always people walking off the streets and coming in.It would be an unusual night if there wasn't a disturbance but the spiritual energy that emanates from there makes it worth it.
Aqua-You are going to any length and I commend you.Keep an open mind and the gifts coming your way will be endless.
Good Luck
great story.
Aqua-It happens quite a lot.The very first meeting I went to I was tanked to the gills.
The usual protocol is for the moderator or another member to try and get the one causing the disturbance to leave the meeting and go outside and talk.It doesn't always go down smoothly either.They can get belligerant.You try and get them out of the meeting any way you can so not disturb the group.
Let's face it.A lot of people tend not to come to their first meetings sober.That's why they are going.
One meeting I like to attend in Houston on Friday night is called "Alive And Kicking".It's a predominantly black group on the east side and is in the middle of the worst section of Houston.There are always people walking off the streets and coming in.It would be an unusual night if there wasn't a disturbance but the spiritual energy that emanates from there makes it worth it.
Aqua-You are going to any length and I commend you.Keep an open mind and the gifts coming your way will be endless.
Good Luck
Thanks for sharing that story with us, Sammy...Aqua, thank you for starting this thread and opening up and sharing what's going on in your recovery...I'm glad you're giving meetings a try as I found they helped change my life...
I remember being lost in the fog of handful of pills and life was starting to crash around me and I didn't have the option of having a drink to help calm me down as I quit drinking and the xanax had already turned on me and it no longer calmed me down but rather created more anxiety, so when I would have one of those very dark days, I would go to an AA meeting as that's where I could find that acceptance, that unconditional love that I so craved, that understanding that I was not unique nor crazy, just not done yet....I refrained from sharing as I knew deep down the amount of narcotics I was taking I wasn't sober but I am an alcoholic, and I have a manipulative way about me, so when asked I always shared my sobriety by stating I was sober for so long, and never did I say clean & sober because I knew, knew down deep, my addiction had won yet again, I was just using other substance to fill in where the alcohol had left me....
I am so grateful they told me to keep coming back...I took many years to go back to AA but today I am grateful I walked back in the doors...When someone shows up at a meeting that's been drinking/using, I need to remember where I was and where I came from, I pray for that person, I thank God that I no longer am living in that obsessive/compulsive thinking and I need to reach my hand out and help however God see's fit....
I pray daily for those still suffering and I pray they make their way into a meeting and see there is a solution to the insanity....
(((hugs))))
Stacey
I remember being lost in the fog of handful of pills and life was starting to crash around me and I didn't have the option of having a drink to help calm me down as I quit drinking and the xanax had already turned on me and it no longer calmed me down but rather created more anxiety, so when I would have one of those very dark days, I would go to an AA meeting as that's where I could find that acceptance, that unconditional love that I so craved, that understanding that I was not unique nor crazy, just not done yet....I refrained from sharing as I knew deep down the amount of narcotics I was taking I wasn't sober but I am an alcoholic, and I have a manipulative way about me, so when asked I always shared my sobriety by stating I was sober for so long, and never did I say clean & sober because I knew, knew down deep, my addiction had won yet again, I was just using other substance to fill in where the alcohol had left me....
I am so grateful they told me to keep coming back...I took many years to go back to AA but today I am grateful I walked back in the doors...When someone shows up at a meeting that's been drinking/using, I need to remember where I was and where I came from, I pray for that person, I thank God that I no longer am living in that obsessive/compulsive thinking and I need to reach my hand out and help however God see's fit....
I pray daily for those still suffering and I pray they make their way into a meeting and see there is a solution to the insanity....
(((hugs))))
Stacey
I'm sorry Aqua...and being new to recovery, yes, you are fragile and things like that might bother you. I was that man at one time. Only it was pills. Thankfully they took me aside and said we will help you after the meeting. Since then, I've seen many like him and all I can do is feel sorry for them and hope that they keep coming back. The chairperson does have some power when it comes to disruptions and I would hope that they kept it at a minimum. The thing to remember is that person needs to be there, just as you do. Take care.