My guy flew to Cali on Tuesday and yesterday I think for the 1st time in awhile he was seeing stuff clearly...He was going on and on about how he has rteated me terribly how much he wants to make it up to me and how he ahs taken me for granted how I must be a saint blah blah blah..
Those 1st couple days clean...besides feeling like total crap(he says he seriously doesnt even have energy to shower or brush his teeth let alone pick up the phone) but what im getting at is....do you start to feel emotions that quickly...and see how badly you have hurt the ppl around you...when he was away in rehab for 4 months he never spoke the way to me that he did yesterday...it really caught me off guard...what do you guys think?
Maybe he thinks that what he said is what you wanted to hear???
Becky-I hesitated in answering your post. For several reasons. It seems that you are probably in a bad spot right now. You love and care for this person and hope for the best. You have been with him through trying times and feel you deserve something from him for that. He is in a bad spot right now He knows that addiction has won this round. He loves you and cares and hopes for the best as well. On the other hand he is in the throws of active addiction. He is vulnerable and you are vulnerable. Time is all you can give it. If he is sincere time will prove it. Phone converstaions and words mean little right now. He could really mean everything he is saying right now and then if someone put his DOC in front of him he would do it. That is how addiction is. Hang in there best of luck.
Jane
Jane
Hey thanks for the response....i dont think he is saying it because it is what i want to hear...i have wanted to hear that stuff for a long timeeeeeeeeee....he actually is staying with a friend out there and spent the day yesterday with the friend and his girlfriend....he said it reminded him of how we used to be and he was sort of jealous...he saw how happy they were together and he wanted that back for us...he also said that going so far away and stepping out of our lil environment makes him see stuff differently...so hopefully when he gets back stuff will change...if not i think we will be almost done because it is just too hard for me to watch someone i love SO much be so self-destructive to himself...
Oh Becky, Becky, my Becky.....I'm telling ya Wildwood.
I'm going to probably get flak for this.......BUT detoxing.....the emotions....and jane is so, so right....both of you are vulnerable......I'm just answering the question......once we get our selfish selves situated, and the done' is a nice dose, and we're stuck in with a bunch of other addicts in a hell hole....well I don't think his place is bad.......PLUS why is he at a friends???????? I thought he was in rehab.......but for your question......yes, yes your feelings go all the way opposite........like from numb on dope.....to voom all the way the other way, and we're sorry, and really I think we are.....then it goes a little back the other way........dopes on your mind.......then ya got the crucial part.
So yeah we cry at dumb stuff......just cry cause you ain't felt in a billion years....now the jealous part.....I don't know, but I'd hope he sees how it was, and can be again, but it's ON HIM, babes.
Yeah we get emotional, loving, caring, guilt ridden.....just as long as when we come home we don't rob anyone or not be happy with how our families lay down laws.........varoom then we're out, and maybe karate chop them too.
Beck's.......oh Becky.
I'm going to probably get flak for this.......BUT detoxing.....the emotions....and jane is so, so right....both of you are vulnerable......I'm just answering the question......once we get our selfish selves situated, and the done' is a nice dose, and we're stuck in with a bunch of other addicts in a hell hole....well I don't think his place is bad.......PLUS why is he at a friends???????? I thought he was in rehab.......but for your question......yes, yes your feelings go all the way opposite........like from numb on dope.....to voom all the way the other way, and we're sorry, and really I think we are.....then it goes a little back the other way........dopes on your mind.......then ya got the crucial part.
So yeah we cry at dumb stuff......just cry cause you ain't felt in a billion years....now the jealous part.....I don't know, but I'd hope he sees how it was, and can be again, but it's ON HIM, babes.
Yeah we get emotional, loving, caring, guilt ridden.....just as long as when we come home we don't rob anyone or not be happy with how our families lay down laws.........varoom then we're out, and maybe karate chop them too.
Beck's.......oh Becky.
GREAT POST Bryn!
In addiction we never lose the ability to feel and care....we just forget how to due to the wall the addiction built around our emotions. When we get clean they(feelings/emotions) can come on like a tsunami because once the drugs are taken away all things normal come full on. All the best!
Darin
In addiction we never lose the ability to feel and care....we just forget how to due to the wall the addiction built around our emotions. When we get clean they(feelings/emotions) can come on like a tsunami because once the drugs are taken away all things normal come full on. All the best!
Darin
Hey guys...just to clear soemthing up...he isnt at a detox place or treatment center...he flew himself out there to a hotel to detox on his own...away from jersey where he knows where to get drugs...he has friends out there that are watching up on him...he called me this afternoon and asked if i would fly out for the weekend because he is feeling betetr and wants to start over for "real" this time...so tomorrow i will be in san diego until monday night...wish me luck...i know we are both so vulnerable but i think its the right thing to do to go be with him and get him to tuesday no matter what to get his pellet and drug assessment to get him into outpatient and to his PO appointment with clean pee!!
