I have never been into drinking, but my husband is an alcoholic so I thought I would ask you guys, cause you understand more than I do.
Does anyone or has anyone gotten mean after just one drink ??
I have noticed a change or mean hearted commits more lately and it's not when he is drunk it is when he just start's to drink.
My boyfriend of 4 1/2 years just admitted to having a problem, which all of have known forever now. However my boyfriend does get mean, not physical but he says cruel things. He broke up with me last Sunday, just out of the blue. He blames me for his drinking problem. We were getting along fine just hours before this happened, I don't know if it was the alcohol speaking for him, but I had enough. Now he is saying I didn't fight hard enough. He said he was going to get help but I haven't seen anything yet. I can't take it anymore, I can't be with him. He makes me feel worthless. I am not a big drinker but he is always insisting I drink with him. Sometimes he is mean after one drink or serveral but usally just a couple set him off. He starts to feel sorry for himself and it turns into everyone is against him and I am usally the only one around so in the end I am to blame.
Hi Marina.
Alcoholism is a family disease and one alcoholic can affect up to 16 people immediately around him/her. And I found with me, my family, my wife and children wore the brunt of my anger .
And as the alcoholic in the family I seemed to hurt the people I loved the most. Not physically but verbally. Which I believe today is as bad or even worse because of the emotional and mental damage I done with that 2 ounces of terror I call a tongue. And if I could have seen what I was doing at the time I would have cut it out .
But today I understand I was a sick person not a bad person and I had an untreated illness alcoholism. Which doesnt excuse my behaviour I stand accountable for it.But with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous and a loving God I dont do those things today?
I think alcoholics are unable to talk about whats happening in there life or I was anyway and rather than talk about whats happening I would push people away with my anger and the words that would come out of my mouth the things I called my wife and daughters I would not repeat here.
I had what you would call a Jekyll and Hyde personality my mood could change at any time. People would say hes not a bad person when hes sober but when he has a drink he can become an instant arsehole.
Is your husband seeing / doing anything about his drinking because if he is not and he has a problem like you say it will get progressively worse never better.
And if you are worried Alcoholics Anonymous has a sister fellowship which is called Al-Anon it is for the partners ,family of alcoholics and they would be able to help you probably a lot more with any questions you may have.
There number would be in your local phone book. Or else go into www.googel.com or www.yahoo.com .type in Al-Anon and take it from there.
I hope I have been of some help I tend to talk to much sometimes. Please let us know how things are because some people do care and a willing to help if they can.
God Bless.
Alcoholism is a family disease and one alcoholic can affect up to 16 people immediately around him/her. And I found with me, my family, my wife and children wore the brunt of my anger .
And as the alcoholic in the family I seemed to hurt the people I loved the most. Not physically but verbally. Which I believe today is as bad or even worse because of the emotional and mental damage I done with that 2 ounces of terror I call a tongue. And if I could have seen what I was doing at the time I would have cut it out .
But today I understand I was a sick person not a bad person and I had an untreated illness alcoholism. Which doesnt excuse my behaviour I stand accountable for it.But with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous and a loving God I dont do those things today?
I think alcoholics are unable to talk about whats happening in there life or I was anyway and rather than talk about whats happening I would push people away with my anger and the words that would come out of my mouth the things I called my wife and daughters I would not repeat here.
I had what you would call a Jekyll and Hyde personality my mood could change at any time. People would say hes not a bad person when hes sober but when he has a drink he can become an instant arsehole.
Is your husband seeing / doing anything about his drinking because if he is not and he has a problem like you say it will get progressively worse never better.
And if you are worried Alcoholics Anonymous has a sister fellowship which is called Al-Anon it is for the partners ,family of alcoholics and they would be able to help you probably a lot more with any questions you may have.
There number would be in your local phone book. Or else go into www.googel.com or www.yahoo.com .type in Al-Anon and take it from there.
I hope I have been of some help I tend to talk to much sometimes. Please let us know how things are because some people do care and a willing to help if they can.
God Bless.
Wow, that sounds like my boyfriend, well I guess ex boyfriend. I honestly thought he was bi-polor. He can be the sweetest person one minute and a total nightmare the next.
Hi Pleasant
You are not to blame for anyones drinking .I dont think you held him down and poured the alcohol down his throat.
Hes the one who took the drink. And as far as being worthless you know youre not. None of Gods children are that.
I have found I am not responsible for what people think about me. Thats there business .I am the only one responsible for what I think about me.
Pleasant why your boyfriend wants you to drink with him is because. Misery loves company. Alcoholics are normally the last to know they have a problem like you said everyone else knows.
Alcoholism is a disease of denial its the only disease that tells you, you dont have it. Alcoholics dont need to blame people for there drinking though they do .I n there mind they have lots of reasons to drink. Its cold, its hot I feel good. I feel bad. The coffees to hot, the coffees to cold. No one understands me, everyone understands me. Its Monday its Tuesday I cant pay that bill I can pay that bill.on an on.
Alcoholics drink because they cannot ,not drink. Once they have that first drink it sets up a physical craving where one drink is to many and one hundred is not enough.They also get a mental obsession where all they think about is where and how they are going to get the next drink.
So what I guess I am saying you a definitely not to blame for his drinking.The good news is there is Hope for both of you wether together or apart. But right now you need to look after you. I hope things turn out o/k for you both And if I can help in anyway please let me know .
God Bless
You are not to blame for anyones drinking .I dont think you held him down and poured the alcohol down his throat.
Hes the one who took the drink. And as far as being worthless you know youre not. None of Gods children are that.
I have found I am not responsible for what people think about me. Thats there business .I am the only one responsible for what I think about me.
Pleasant why your boyfriend wants you to drink with him is because. Misery loves company. Alcoholics are normally the last to know they have a problem like you said everyone else knows.
Alcoholism is a disease of denial its the only disease that tells you, you dont have it. Alcoholics dont need to blame people for there drinking though they do .I n there mind they have lots of reasons to drink. Its cold, its hot I feel good. I feel bad. The coffees to hot, the coffees to cold. No one understands me, everyone understands me. Its Monday its Tuesday I cant pay that bill I can pay that bill.on an on.
Alcoholics drink because they cannot ,not drink. Once they have that first drink it sets up a physical craving where one drink is to many and one hundred is not enough.They also get a mental obsession where all they think about is where and how they are going to get the next drink.
So what I guess I am saying you a definitely not to blame for his drinking.The good news is there is Hope for both of you wether together or apart. But right now you need to look after you. I hope things turn out o/k for you both And if I can help in anyway please let me know .
God Bless
Thanks Sober. I do love him I think I always will, it just hurt so bad when he blamed me for his problem, when all of these years I have tried so hard to support him and make him happy. He was so cruel. He has been mean(verbally) before but this time he was cruel. I am still going to pray for him, but I think I finally realized I can't help him, if he doesn't want to help himself I can't be with him. My fear is that he is just going to get depressed and get worse. He has a 13 year old son, I love him so much, at times we have only had eachother, now he has to deal with it on his own. I feel guilty because I am not there for him, I feel guilty because I feel like I am giving up on my ex-boyfriend. You are suppose to be supportive of your loved ones. I am just tired of being sad and thinking about him all the time and never myself. I just wish he would get help, he has said he knows he has a problem, but he is not willing to do anything about it.
I totally understand about addiction, cause I am addict myself. My DOC is pain pills
I have been clean for some time. My husband was addicted to xanax and pot. He quit both
and now has replaced those with drinking. So I understand to a degree. Thank you guys for your input. I feel better knowing I can come here and talk to you guys about it.
I have been clean for some time. My husband was addicted to xanax and pot. He quit both
and now has replaced those with drinking. So I understand to a degree. Thank you guys for your input. I feel better knowing I can come here and talk to you guys about it.
Dear Marina I dont know if this will help but I know for myself(when I use to drink)& for my whole family if we drank Whiskey OMGosh even 1 we would just get this meanness to us.What does your husband drink?Is it the hard stuff or beer or wine????mj
Just BEER !!
He won't drink anything else. To be honest it pisses me off cause he knows he has a problem, but won't do nothing. I know all to well I can't make him. I will say I won't put up with mean commits. I will call him out on that every time !!!
He won't drink anything else. To be honest it pisses me off cause he knows he has a problem, but won't do nothing. I know all to well I can't make him. I will say I won't put up with mean commits. I will call him out on that every time !!!
So what happens when they (the alcohlic) loses everyone they love? I am worried about me ex-boyfriend. I don't want him to be alone but I can't take the verbal abuse anymore. I can't threaten him because he will just get angry and drink, I don't want to live like this anymore. But I do love him so very much, I miss him terribly. I want to call and tell him I am sorry, but I have nothing to be sorry for. I didn't do anything, but that's how it is I apoligize for his actions. I'm just confused. I want to be with him, but I know I can't be. I jsut want him to be well, with or with out me.
Marina,
In his own time, you know this......
I love the little dude giving out the spanking......
Pleasant,
You said if you threaten him he just gets angry and drinks......make sure you know in your heart that you will and never control if he drinks. Nothing you say can make him drink. He does it because that is what he choose to do.....
Give yourself time, take care of you.....
Love,
Tina
In his own time, you know this......
I love the little dude giving out the spanking......
Pleasant,
You said if you threaten him he just gets angry and drinks......make sure you know in your heart that you will and never control if he drinks. Nothing you say can make him drink. He does it because that is what he choose to do.....
Give yourself time, take care of you.....
Love,
Tina
