Hey all...I have posted on here long ago I headed over to the fam board...my guy is a heroin addict...been trying to kick it since October...has relapsed 4 big times(not just a one time deal...lasted a few days each time)...i was just wondering when he says he is "scared to live without heroin" what exactly does that mean...scared to not have to sneak around all the time? scared of having free time...considering it usually takes up about 5 or 6 rhs of his days between picking up drugs doing it...picking up more and just sneaking around and trying to get veins..etc...when he says over and over again how he wants to quit...he did 3 months fo rehab down in florida and picked up as soon as he got back...he tried the whole meeting thing got a sponsor now he is in aftercare...he crys and crys how this is not him and how he wants to stop...does he need to hit bottom? do i need to walk away?...just so many unanswered questions i know none of you can answer them i guess i just needed to vent...thanks for letting me share...~Becky
..Becky p..
..Maybe he can,t get over the love affair hes having with it..don,t ya feel like hes cheating on ya.?..we,re in love with heroin(.when i was using.)..its on our minds all the time until we meet up with it..we take it home and treat it with care..it becomes apart of us just as much as a love one..even more apart of us to be honest..leaving him may not be the answer..leave if you wanna leave..don,t leave to force him to give up..it may backfire..as long as hes talking about stopping..theres a bit of hope..not a lot..but a bit of something is better than a whole lot of nuffin..he,ll only stop when hes ready..you probably know that..the tears i bet only come after hes used..not before he scores.?..we all feel self pity on drugs..i,ve cried a million tears before..did,nt stop me ringing my man when i felt a bit better after..don,t know if this helps ya..good luck ..Robbie..
..Maybe he can,t get over the love affair hes having with it..don,t ya feel like hes cheating on ya.?..we,re in love with heroin(.when i was using.)..its on our minds all the time until we meet up with it..we take it home and treat it with care..it becomes apart of us just as much as a love one..even more apart of us to be honest..leaving him may not be the answer..leave if you wanna leave..don,t leave to force him to give up..it may backfire..as long as hes talking about stopping..theres a bit of hope..not a lot..but a bit of something is better than a whole lot of nuffin..he,ll only stop when hes ready..you probably know that..the tears i bet only come after hes used..not before he scores.?..we all feel self pity on drugs..i,ve cried a million tears before..did,nt stop me ringing my man when i felt a bit better after..don,t know if this helps ya..good luck ..Robbie..
Morning Becky,
Have you figured out what you want from life yet, just for you....
And where he might play in all of this.....
I really have no words of wisdom here, you will find your way, him as well I hope in time....
It isn't easy, keep working on you and moving forward in life.
Have a great day,
(Happy Birthday)
Love,
Tina
Morning Robbie......
Good to see you and interesting post.....
Love,
Tina
Have you figured out what you want from life yet, just for you....
And where he might play in all of this.....
I really have no words of wisdom here, you will find your way, him as well I hope in time....
It isn't easy, keep working on you and moving forward in life.
Have a great day,
(Happy Birthday)
Love,
Tina
Morning Robbie......
Good to see you and interesting post.....
Love,
Tina
.. Morning Tina..
..Nice to see ya..good day to you..robbie..
..Nice to see ya..good day to you..robbie..
Hey guys thanks for the replys...Robbie...I have seen the tears before and after...i think depression is a problem for him as well and ahs gone untreated...he woke right up today and went to his doctor to get his meds tog et thru withdrawl...so he is trying...we shall see...and yes i do feel like he is cheating soemtimes but he is so attentive...he never does the drugs around me so he does it at work at his own house etc...
thanks mistyeyes for the bday wishes!! i knwo where my life is going...i am graduating in may...have a state job set up and waiting for me when i graduate...i have so many goals and plans and i want him to be a part of them..and he has thus far...just would be a thousand billion times betetr if he was sober for them ya know?
thanks mistyeyes for the bday wishes!! i knwo where my life is going...i am graduating in may...have a state job set up and waiting for me when i graduate...i have so many goals and plans and i want him to be a part of them..and he has thus far...just would be a thousand billion times betetr if he was sober for them ya know?
Yeah I know it is so much better when they are in life, not hiding from it.
You hang in ok, and I hope he can get this done and gone for good. It is strange how nothing much of anything even probation has them really see that the ride might need to be over..
Hell I know where your bf buys, the quality at times drove mine back. The word would be that death was on the street, and mine couldn't contain his excitement and the urge to use. Looking for that one more time, one more great high. And the sickness shines.......
They say that when the pain of using becomes more than pleasure of it things start to change. That is about where my husband got, the pain was starting to not be worth going back out.
You have a great day,
Love,
Tina
You hang in ok, and I hope he can get this done and gone for good. It is strange how nothing much of anything even probation has them really see that the ride might need to be over..
Hell I know where your bf buys, the quality at times drove mine back. The word would be that death was on the street, and mine couldn't contain his excitement and the urge to use. Looking for that one more time, one more great high. And the sickness shines.......
They say that when the pain of using becomes more than pleasure of it things start to change. That is about where my husband got, the pain was starting to not be worth going back out.
You have a great day,
Love,
Tina
Tina
"When the pain of using becomes more than the pleasure"...i love that and sooooo true.......got to a point that's all it was,scoring so as not to get sick....no more euphoria.....Besides the chaos and other circumstances. I am sure that is what got me to finally make up my mind that this was enough....and it was nice to be reminded of it today..........
Today............today i am up early, it is a beautiful spring day........I went out last night and had a great time, had fun, w/out the use of any substance, and I am not up early looking to go cop because i am sick........Praise and thanks to God
"When the pain of using becomes more than the pleasure"...i love that and sooooo true.......got to a point that's all it was,scoring so as not to get sick....no more euphoria.....Besides the chaos and other circumstances. I am sure that is what got me to finally make up my mind that this was enough....and it was nice to be reminded of it today..........
Today............today i am up early, it is a beautiful spring day........I went out last night and had a great time, had fun, w/out the use of any substance, and I am not up early looking to go cop because i am sick........Praise and thanks to God
Hey guys...thanks for the replies...Yea I have heard him say that before " it isnt even fun anymore i have to do it so i dont get sick" ummm lets see what else "it hurts so bad like i dont even have anymore veins left" so i know it isnt like he is doing it because it is so much fun...says he barely gets the rush anymore just fears getting so sick...its been since Sat. for him he last used on Sat night...so he is doing well...puked all day yesterday but today got up and went to work...starts taking Naltrexone pills on I think he said next Saturday or maybe Monday...not sure...but I'm glad he is saying this stuff...good sign right? thanks guys!
Ahhh my Becky P.......passed the Chart House last night.
I'm going with Robbie......I still miss my love of my life.....my dope.....I was so afraid to go without it.....my everything.
ALSO beck maybe he is afraid to FEEL.....something that hasn't surfaced, and he felt that down in Florida......man, some hurtful stuff comes up that you were numbing without even knowing it.
Plus too afraid of not being a heroin addict anymore.....real treat it is....you called it.....takes up so much time, and you get good at it....I was afraid as I was never good at anything prior, and knew i wouldn't be after, but i sure was a good junkie.
Sweetie, you know you gotta look out for you.....FIRST, but I give you credit on educating yourself......although sadly look how we all answered a bit different.
Yo, Tina nice new avatar.....trippy.
I'm going with Robbie......I still miss my love of my life.....my dope.....I was so afraid to go without it.....my everything.
ALSO beck maybe he is afraid to FEEL.....something that hasn't surfaced, and he felt that down in Florida......man, some hurtful stuff comes up that you were numbing without even knowing it.
Plus too afraid of not being a heroin addict anymore.....real treat it is....you called it.....takes up so much time, and you get good at it....I was afraid as I was never good at anything prior, and knew i wouldn't be after, but i sure was a good junkie.
Sweetie, you know you gotta look out for you.....FIRST, but I give you credit on educating yourself......although sadly look how we all answered a bit different.
Yo, Tina nice new avatar.....trippy.
Hey girl...yea when he got back from florida he said it was so weird to "feel" now...i kinda udnerstand where you are coming form on that one...when im wasted (alcohol which is rarely) i could care less about anything except drinking mroe ya know? he's doing his thing and i'm doing mine...hes trying i know hes trying but he is just so scared to have a real life i guess...who knows...its up to him ya know?
Tres....
Silent Partner posted that one day and it was like, wow so simple and it made sense with what I was watching.....
Bryn you need a damn avatar yourself, glad you liked mine. There is always a purpose with me.....
Both of you thank you for giving that peek into something I cant undestand but have seen.....So many have let those like me on the other side in. It helps me, big time.
Becky,
Keep the faith.....
As long as he is breathing you know....
You all have a great night,
Love,
Tina
Silent Partner posted that one day and it was like, wow so simple and it made sense with what I was watching.....
Bryn you need a damn avatar yourself, glad you liked mine. There is always a purpose with me.....
Both of you thank you for giving that peek into something I cant undestand but have seen.....So many have let those like me on the other side in. It helps me, big time.
Becky,
Keep the faith.....
As long as he is breathing you know....
You all have a great night,
Love,
Tina
Becky, Becky, I kno just what u mean. My husband of 19 yrs sez w/o drugs he has "Nothing to look forward to" when he gets off work & that one dumb remark made me wanna cry & then give him a right cross.Just belt him one, you know? I was real hurt by it.After all if we weren't using we'd have $$ to go out & have fun even if it's only to a movie or a little pleasure like that.We'd be together, clean. But alas,... Maybe yr guy is frightened of having real un-dopish feelings again. Maybe he is frightened of the potential remorse he may experience. He wants to quit but can't? I don't have any concrete solution for you except to let u kno u r not alone.Keep posting.Maybe see if he wants to post too? If not to quit, just to vent? Good luck kid, Bless you.
Welp I don't know if this was the right choice or if this will throw him over the edge again...He went to the bar against my wishes sooooo I told him not to come back...and I think I really really mean it...everyone keeps telling me to do what is right for ME and that is what I feel is right for me right now...SO pissed...upset...scared...but I can't keep being left alone for the bar or for heroin...I can't...it's not fair...
Watch him with the drinking! It's that stinking thinking! Alot of heroin addicts justify alcohol use in thier minds. I know I did, it's not like heroin, no, but it is an adequate replacement and has a big chance of becoming a problem and spiraling out back into the toilet again. We don't want to feel, becase we haven't in so long. When those emotions come up, we dont know what to do! Our first reaction is to self medicate! I have seen so many heroin addicts relapse because of alcohol and xanax. Abstain is such a scary word, but it is necesarry, and doesn't guarantee sucsess either.Good luck with him. I have only 2 months clean. I have the same feelings your boyfriend is going through, don't have anything to live for, nothing is exciting, but that is the drug talking! He really has to make heroin his enemy and not his friend. Heroin has used him and stabbed him in the back! Nice to his face but hit him over the head with a sledge hammer when he wasn't looking! He can not trust heroin, as heroin turns his back on every friend he makes!
Becky: Sometimes that ol' Line In The Sand MUST be drawn;YOU do have to think of Your SELF- and that is NOT being selfish!! Maybe He will realise just how sad & upset u r about the situation.You cannot be expected to live a Half-Life, just because He is. I applaud yr courage, I really do.You ouggta concider tho, he may just choose this drug over you. I do not want to give u false hope but IT HAPPENS.And you gotta be strong.Maybe he needs this to happen: end of the line, etc. I hope u have family or friends to back u up.U can always post to us here,the combined experiences of all here--whoo, man I reckon we've collectively seen it all.Stay strong, Bless You. Good Luck.Keep posting.
i know how he feels and you arent too far off also.see i am an ex herion addict and cocaine addict.the part that said about the pain being worse than the pleasure is true,you cant quit till that happens.see herion saved ny life because it turned me from all drugs because of the bad times or i would still be shooting coke.dont get me wrong i still miss my cocaine and it still haunts me sometimes,but its much eaisier too look away now.i wrote a bit on the cocaine bord about how i feel about theese two drugs,you may want to read it i think its still there.it probably tells how your husband feels about his herion.
