Hi everyone
Just wanted to share this with you:
I have a friend who was in recovery for two years, then he relapsed about 3 months ago. I spoke to him yesterday and he started telling me how he is enjoying life right now because 'he is not an addict and he can have two or three drinks now and is okay'. He says he just wants to be normal like his friends and he honestly believes he is not an addict. He also feels now that because he is 'only drinking' and not taking drugs, he is okay. I'm just really shocked at how this disease can take someone who had quite a strong recovery, and reduce them back to where they were when they were using. Its so strange to hear him say these things. When I asked him how his recovery was going (once we had spoken about everything but), he said he didn't want to talk about it. It used to be him asking me how mine is going! Then to top it all off, he asked me if I wanted to go clubbing sometime with him and his friends! I was totally shocked! He knows that for me that is a danger zone, and in the past he would never have dreamt of suggesting something like that!
The point to this all is - he may not be drinking or drugging all the time, but that is just the tip of iceberg. All his character defects have come out with a vengence because he is not working the programme. Yes, he may not be using all the time, but his addict has come out to play in full force! I actually found that I didn't want to talk to him because the things he was saying were not easy for me to handle. I don't know if that makes sense...?
I got told when I first came into the programme to "stick with the winners" and I plan on doing that, because my life depends on it. I used to think "who am I to judge who is a winner and who isn't" but now I see the winners as the people who are working their programme and who do the suggested things without questioning it (even if they don't know why they doing it).
Anyway, on a lighter note - when I went to celebrate Mondays 30 day milestone at my home group last night, I got such a nice surprise. I've been wanting a step working guide for ages now, but I just don't have any cash at the moment. So anyway, last night after the meeting we went to coffee and the people from the Friday night meeting that I go to, handed me a guide! They had all bought me one. It was really good of them because I have really wanted it for ages.
Anyway, Now I'm definitely rambling - have a good day everyone...
angie
Congrats on the 30 days!!!!!
You go, girl.
That post made me feel kinda funny....
I think because my addict says that I can be normal, too.
But I tried that for years...and I have no question that I can't go back.
Angie, hang around this side. Great job on the 30 days.
kerry
You go, girl.
That post made me feel kinda funny....
I think because my addict says that I can be normal, too.
But I tried that for years...and I have no question that I can't go back.
Angie, hang around this side. Great job on the 30 days.
kerry
Hey Kerry
It also made me feel weird hearing the stuff come out his mouth. Here was someone who was clean for two years and just seeing how this disease can weasel its way back into his life with such a vengeance, is scary. Its like taken him back to where he was before he even heard of the concept of being clean. It scares me you know. I am so scared now to lose what I have and I was telling someone about the fear and he said, but thats a good thing, some fear is good. I didnt really understand him, but I think maybe its sort of a desire for recovery showing. I honestly dont know. It really is a cunning illness, which has no boundaries whatsoever.
Thanks for the congrats, how you doing??
Hugs, angie
It also made me feel weird hearing the stuff come out his mouth. Here was someone who was clean for two years and just seeing how this disease can weasel its way back into his life with such a vengeance, is scary. Its like taken him back to where he was before he even heard of the concept of being clean. It scares me you know. I am so scared now to lose what I have and I was telling someone about the fear and he said, but thats a good thing, some fear is good. I didnt really understand him, but I think maybe its sort of a desire for recovery showing. I honestly dont know. It really is a cunning illness, which has no boundaries whatsoever.
Thanks for the congrats, how you doing??
Hugs, angie
Check back with him in 3 months.
