Yesterday, I was at a shop that I go to occasionally for provisions, when I met a bloke who I used to see around and about when I was a drunk. It was your typical acquantaince of that kind of lifestyle with talk of mates, booze and getting off yer head. He however is still living that lifestyle. It was really quite odd, kind of looking at a past reflection of myself the way he lightly glossed over the fact that he was drinking, forgetting things, spending his last money on booze and keeping a pound for the electricity meter, yet making it superficially funny as though it is ok to live like that. He had a bruised and swollen hand where he had been punching a door, angry because he lost that last pound and had no electricity, but he could only just about remember it all. I looked really closely at him, and his eyes looked pale and shallow, the whites of his eyes were yellowing, his skin looked old and dead.
He was just like a character, drinking and taking drugs, killing himself, but making light of it, laughing at the mad way he lived, almost proud of it, jovial, joking as though life is great. It was like there was a body, functioning and living, but it was a shell, there was nothing inside.
It was weird; I used to be like that.
Well put Lacey, and thanks for posting that story. It is quite amazing how drunks can rationalize and shrug off all sorts of self-destructive behaviour. I was never lacking in support and even encouragement for my bad drinking habits. In fact, I remember hangovers and drunken behaviour being looked on as accomplishments.... Yes it is quite strange.
I have no desire to go back.
One day at a time.... Cookster
I have no desire to go back.
One day at a time.... Cookster
Lacey there are no coincidences...sometimes we run into people, known to us or strangers, that have a reason....He is a reflection of your past and what your future could be if you continued...
Sometimes we need these reminders...to remind us how bad it could be or how bad it was when we start forgetting....
Thank you for sharing that and reminding me...Love Gina
Sometimes we need these reminders...to remind us how bad it could be or how bad it was when we start forgetting....
Thank you for sharing that and reminding me...Love Gina
Yeah, it was actually very sobering funnily enough! I felt serious for quite a while afterwards.
The longer I am sober, the more important it is and the more I appreciate it.
When I first came on here and talked about getting sober, people welcomed me to a life of recovery and the path of sobriety and kind of said how wonderful it was. I couldn't get that at first, what could be so wonderful about never drinking again!! I am understanding it now though. You grow, (in ways I had only dreamed of before), once there are no longer mind altering substances invading your system all the time.
The longer I am sober, the more important it is and the more I appreciate it.
When I first came on here and talked about getting sober, people welcomed me to a life of recovery and the path of sobriety and kind of said how wonderful it was. I couldn't get that at first, what could be so wonderful about never drinking again!! I am understanding it now though. You grow, (in ways I had only dreamed of before), once there are no longer mind altering substances invading your system all the time.
A couple of days after I met the reflection of a former me I had another reminder how awful alcohol is.
A guy I have worked with came round to my Dads house. He had a hangover.
It was just glaringly obvious that he was ill. What an insane thing to do. Drink so much you make yourself ill. Had a chat with him, but he wasn't all there. Most of him was trying to deal with the pain I guess.
Yuk, yuk, yuk, and more yuk. It is absolutley horrendous.
I am SO glad I don't drink anymore.
A guy I have worked with came round to my Dads house. He had a hangover.
It was just glaringly obvious that he was ill. What an insane thing to do. Drink so much you make yourself ill. Had a chat with him, but he wasn't all there. Most of him was trying to deal with the pain I guess.
Yuk, yuk, yuk, and more yuk. It is absolutley horrendous.
I am SO glad I don't drink anymore.
Hi Lacey, Hope you are doing well tonight. Thanks for posting and sharing. I saw a gal at the local store who was in AA when I first got back there in November 2003...she welcomed me and helped me out a lot...(she took an almost fatal dose of heroin probably a couple of years ago)...her shopping basket was holding three of those big bottles of wine...and she was with a guy who didn't seem "right" for her...but that is none of my business! But, seeing her buying (with her $$, the guy just kept putting stuff in the cart) the wine and acting "out of it", I went to gratitude, and but for the Grace of God go I.
Also, since I go to the local Alano club I hear about more deaths and near-deaths because they have meetings all the time lots of people come and go...usually at smaller meetings away from the club I don't hear about death so often. But, another gal with about as much time as me, went out and then jumped off her balcony, she didn't die but she broke almost everything they say.
Also, since I go to the local Alano club I hear about more deaths and near-deaths because they have meetings all the time lots of people come and go...usually at smaller meetings away from the club I don't hear about death so often. But, another gal with about as much time as me, went out and then jumped off her balcony, she didn't die but she broke almost everything they say.
Gosh, it is truly shocking what a liquid or a bit of powder can do. Every day I am more and more relieved and grateful that I don't live with those things anymore.
A cup of tea and some cake was as serious as it got for me yesterday!!
A cup of tea and some cake was as serious as it got for me yesterday!!
