Recovering Addict Dating Recovering Addict?

General / Miscellaneous
1
Hi everyone,

I just stumbled on this website while looking for answers. My 21 year old daughter is currently in a residential treatment center for oxycontin addiction. She is doing very well there. She has met a 24 year old recovering addict (not sure what his drug of choice was) at the treatment facility who by coincidence is moving to our community on 10/7. They have developed a friendship and plan to remain in contact. What do the "experts" say about recovering addicts dating each other? So far, there really aren't any plans to date, but I suspect it is a good possibility.

Thanks in advance for your opinions and advice!
2
Rehab romances are very much discouraged; in fact any new romance is discouraged in the first year of recovery.

They say in the first year get a plant, if the plant lives in the second year get a pet, if the pet lives try a romance in the third year. Not sure if that is the proper wording, but you get the idea.
3
my opinion and its just me. I don't think I want to be in a relationship with some one that is recovering cause it just scares me the other might relaspe. It's hard enough trying to help yourself and others by supporting each other but being that close to another and if relapse for any it would be to much for me to handle, but like I said it's just my opinion. thanks
4
Thank you for your responses. My concern too is that she is already vulnerable herself, and if she is with someone who relapses, she will be at increased risk for relapse herself.

She is 21, so of course she will have to make her own decisions. I'm just trying to educate myself as much as possible before she returns home.

Thanks again!
5
I was in a 4 yr relationship with my daughters mom 3 out of the 4 yrs I didn't even touch a drink I had no reason to, no support group no treatment it was the family I had of my own that gave me that motivation, I guess they were the support group, but that wasn't even the problem cause I just stopped. Then my old friends would stop by and ask me for advice on finacial situation cause I was doing so good, they asked me how is it that your the only one working and supporting the whole family, and I told them I think cause I stopped going out and partying, but they started coming around to often and a little alcohol was brought and I had some and led to more. next weekend and I was down the same road. I guess my point on dating is that I think your daughter is better dating some one that does not have an addiction unless he has an addiction to live life have a wonderful family. That is what I want back. It took one drink for me to lose the woman I almost married, the best thing is were still good friends and I can see my daughter when ever and as often as I want. I just don't agree with your daughter dating another addict and that is a strong opinnion of mine, just not this soon anyways maybe if he was like 3 to 10 yrs clean than I would feel safe and if he made the decission on his own to become clean not forced by the courts. thanks
6
Not a good idea at all they say no major changes for the first year, like no relationships. I have seen only two work with people in recovery over my 20 years of addiction.

Tim