Hi All
I wanted to start a little recovery revival - kind of like a tent revival except without the tent, the preachers and the tithing!!! LOL
So feel free to chime in with some recovery talk.
I had a good, busy but stressful day and a bit headacy as I left work and walking past a bar on my way to where I park the car I just got hit with a strong longing for a beer. I kept walking.
Now this was weird cause I'm not a big beer drinker and I never was one to hang out much in bars.
got home still wanting a beer - hubby is in house drinking one! arrgghhh.
So I gritted my teeth and did HALT. I use T for tired/thirsty (cause both apply to me). Yup I was tired and thirsty.
Had a big glass of cool aid - sat down and relaxed for 15 mins. Then pushed myself to cook the dinner and eat the dinner. Realised how much better I was feeling and all thoughts of beer gone.
cunning, baffling and powerful - that is the nature of my dis-ease and I have to USE the tools I've been given - if I want this to work. I cannot allow those thoughts to build up in my head.
Its those thousands of moments, the times we turn around our thinking, the times we take action in our recovery. That's what gives us the ability to string together the days of sobriety that we have- some many some few.
You know I heard in a meeting the other day about a lady with 25 years sober had gone out and drank again - she finally got back to a meeting some months later.
You know I post that to remind everyone that we have only a daily reprieve - that lady with 25 years was as close to a drunk as the newcomer with 1 day sober - she was ONE DRINK AWAY FROM A DRUNK.
I'm writing this not to lecture anybody - but because it helps me remember the truth about myself - the truth which my disease constantly wants me to forget. I cannot drink like normal people.
But luckily for me there IS a solution. But I got to work at it, I've got to want it. And I've got to change if I want this.
And by the Grace of God - I got a daily reprieve today.
goodnight all.
Thanks for that post Idgie,
I needed to be reminded that it is a daily reprieve. I get so hung up on reaching milestones that I forget that truth. I have yet to reach my 90 days, I got six weeks, slipped, 2.5 months, slipped and I beat myself up even more because I was THIS close to 90 days. What do I expect to happen after 90 days I wonder? Will I be cured/fixed? Will I never feel the desire to drink again? Will I look at everyone who does drink and think you poor things if only you knew what I know.
I know though that when I eventually do reach 90 days, on day 91 I will STILL have to get up in the morning and say my serenity prayer and ask my HP to keep me from my first drink and help me through my day. I know on day 91 I might have a crappy day at work or a row with Significant Other and might want to take that drink.
All we have is TODAY - and for many recovering alcoholics, 'todays' add up to be lots of days and 'milestones' but I suppose we really have to keep it in the present.
As SKG told me once - today is the present because it is just that - a gift. (See, I do listen to you skg :) )
Thanks again for reminding me to take it one day at a time.
Ruth xx
I needed to be reminded that it is a daily reprieve. I get so hung up on reaching milestones that I forget that truth. I have yet to reach my 90 days, I got six weeks, slipped, 2.5 months, slipped and I beat myself up even more because I was THIS close to 90 days. What do I expect to happen after 90 days I wonder? Will I be cured/fixed? Will I never feel the desire to drink again? Will I look at everyone who does drink and think you poor things if only you knew what I know.
I know though that when I eventually do reach 90 days, on day 91 I will STILL have to get up in the morning and say my serenity prayer and ask my HP to keep me from my first drink and help me through my day. I know on day 91 I might have a crappy day at work or a row with Significant Other and might want to take that drink.
All we have is TODAY - and for many recovering alcoholics, 'todays' add up to be lots of days and 'milestones' but I suppose we really have to keep it in the present.
As SKG told me once - today is the present because it is just that - a gift. (See, I do listen to you skg :) )
Thanks again for reminding me to take it one day at a time.
Ruth xx
Thankyou for that Idgie, and very well done for overcoming the craving. It sounds so beautifully simple to sit down with a glass of cool aid (what is that?!!) and relax for 15 minutes, then make yourself get up and cook dinner. I like the way you did it.
I had a strange one yesterday. The guy that I had a brief 'relationship' with, not only did cocaine in my house which was bad enough, but left three cans of beer here. I just stuck them in the fridge and tried to forget about them because I didn't know what to do with them. A friend was angry when I told her and said she would pour them down the sink. I decided to do this, and it actually took alot of courage because I had to crack open the cans first. I was surprised at how difficult it was, but I did it. I tried to hold my breath because the smell was a bit much to cope with aswell. I did get nose fulls of strong lager and that was tough to deal with. Still, I did it. No more beer in my house, can't believe he left it really. Mind you he left an empty coke bag in the car, king size rizla and beer. How lovely for me!! Not!!
Have a good day sober!
I had a strange one yesterday. The guy that I had a brief 'relationship' with, not only did cocaine in my house which was bad enough, but left three cans of beer here. I just stuck them in the fridge and tried to forget about them because I didn't know what to do with them. A friend was angry when I told her and said she would pour them down the sink. I decided to do this, and it actually took alot of courage because I had to crack open the cans first. I was surprised at how difficult it was, but I did it. I tried to hold my breath because the smell was a bit much to cope with aswell. I did get nose fulls of strong lager and that was tough to deal with. Still, I did it. No more beer in my house, can't believe he left it really. Mind you he left an empty coke bag in the car, king size rizla and beer. How lovely for me!! Not!!
Have a good day sober!
Gidday Idgie
The bugga is cunning, baffling and powerful but you are now giving this power no head space and replacing its time with sober thinking and gratitude one day at a time, i can feel the happy energy that sobriety brings:) good on ya
Gidday Ruth
There is nothing wrong with milestones cause they mark the way and we can only reach them one day at a time, small steps, great journey
light and love Zac
The bugga is cunning, baffling and powerful but you are now giving this power no head space and replacing its time with sober thinking and gratitude one day at a time, i can feel the happy energy that sobriety brings:) good on ya
Gidday Ruth
There is nothing wrong with milestones cause they mark the way and we can only reach them one day at a time, small steps, great journey
light and love Zac
Yes, Thank You Idgie!
Just like when you thanked Lacey for reminding you we only have a daily reprieve. I to need to be reminded of this daily. I forget thats all we have is today. A while back I thought of a glass of wine. I'm not a wine drinker. I'm a beer drinker. Perhaps it's my unconcious telling me this isn't good for you. Craving something I never really liked much.
I've never forgotton a woman at AA who looked at us and said she had no more sober time then any of us newcomer's. She only had one day of sobriety. Later a gal told me she had 8 yrs. I thought she was nuts saying that. Today I understand what she meant and so appreciate her saying what she said. It has always stayed with me.
I to have been thinking of beer lately our weather has been warm such beautiful blue sky days. At re-hab they told us our brains have filed memories that even the smell of BBQ's will remind us of drinking. Along with our memories of sight, taste and hearing.
This reminds me of my dog learning by association. Time to re-train the brain learn new associations. Like drinking coolaid. Hanging out with new people at AA. Every time we don't drink we re-train our brains we are wiring new neurons and creating new files, new memories.
I drink these Fuze's low carbs 5 calories and louded with vitamins and unique herbs. It actually taste like coolaid just not so sweet. I save my calories for chocolate, lol.
Thanks again for reminding us that we have a disease. That we can't become complacent in our thinking, in our reaction to life. That with the help of an HP whom I call God we can pray to do next right thing. I'm grateful that my disease is alcoholism. You know it could be alot worse.
Have a great sober day everyone!
Just like when you thanked Lacey for reminding you we only have a daily reprieve. I to need to be reminded of this daily. I forget thats all we have is today. A while back I thought of a glass of wine. I'm not a wine drinker. I'm a beer drinker. Perhaps it's my unconcious telling me this isn't good for you. Craving something I never really liked much.
I've never forgotton a woman at AA who looked at us and said she had no more sober time then any of us newcomer's. She only had one day of sobriety. Later a gal told me she had 8 yrs. I thought she was nuts saying that. Today I understand what she meant and so appreciate her saying what she said. It has always stayed with me.
I to have been thinking of beer lately our weather has been warm such beautiful blue sky days. At re-hab they told us our brains have filed memories that even the smell of BBQ's will remind us of drinking. Along with our memories of sight, taste and hearing.
This reminds me of my dog learning by association. Time to re-train the brain learn new associations. Like drinking coolaid. Hanging out with new people at AA. Every time we don't drink we re-train our brains we are wiring new neurons and creating new files, new memories.
I drink these Fuze's low carbs 5 calories and louded with vitamins and unique herbs. It actually taste like coolaid just not so sweet. I save my calories for chocolate, lol.
Thanks again for reminding us that we have a disease. That we can't become complacent in our thinking, in our reaction to life. That with the help of an HP whom I call God we can pray to do next right thing. I'm grateful that my disease is alcoholism. You know it could be alot worse.
Have a great sober day everyone!
Great post, Idgie....
I loved everybody's shares...I haven't had any triggers lately but as winter is getting over, the holidays are done, I've noticed I hadn't been as motivated as I was....that irritable, restless, discontent sneaking in on me on some days...Big red flag when I'm feeling those feelings. I try to remember to address the HALT and I realized that since my secretary position ended last November, I haven't had a service position so I've been praying about it, asking my HP, God to guide me and to put people in my life that I can be of service to....
I met a gal last week, couple days sober and I gave her my number after the meeting and reminded her to reach out so she called me the next day for a ride to a meeting and we've been to a couple together since last week. Last night she asked me to be her sponsor. Of course, I said yes, I mean I've been praying and here God puts another alcoholic in my life that is asking for help but later that night, my head started chatting away...All that crap, "you don't know how to be a sponsor, not good enough, yada, yada, yada"....it went on for about 5 minutes before I pulled out the Big Book and shut the committee up. I shared my fears this morning with my sponsor, and she giggled and said every once in awhile, she wonders if she's a good sponsor (which she's the best) and she said, hey, we're both still sober and growing spiritually, so we must be doing something right. See, with my sponsor, I know reaching out and helping a newcomer, I won't do it alone, I'll do it with help from my sponsor who still gets help from her sponsor. That's what I love about the program, it's one alcoholic sharing their ESH with others and TOGETHER we can have the gift of today, the promises that are shared in the book, the spiritual growth that I work for on a daily basis....
Thank you all on here who share my journey of sobriety with me on a daily basis....
Much love,
Stacey
I loved everybody's shares...I haven't had any triggers lately but as winter is getting over, the holidays are done, I've noticed I hadn't been as motivated as I was....that irritable, restless, discontent sneaking in on me on some days...Big red flag when I'm feeling those feelings. I try to remember to address the HALT and I realized that since my secretary position ended last November, I haven't had a service position so I've been praying about it, asking my HP, God to guide me and to put people in my life that I can be of service to....
I met a gal last week, couple days sober and I gave her my number after the meeting and reminded her to reach out so she called me the next day for a ride to a meeting and we've been to a couple together since last week. Last night she asked me to be her sponsor. Of course, I said yes, I mean I've been praying and here God puts another alcoholic in my life that is asking for help but later that night, my head started chatting away...All that crap, "you don't know how to be a sponsor, not good enough, yada, yada, yada"....it went on for about 5 minutes before I pulled out the Big Book and shut the committee up. I shared my fears this morning with my sponsor, and she giggled and said every once in awhile, she wonders if she's a good sponsor (which she's the best) and she said, hey, we're both still sober and growing spiritually, so we must be doing something right. See, with my sponsor, I know reaching out and helping a newcomer, I won't do it alone, I'll do it with help from my sponsor who still gets help from her sponsor. That's what I love about the program, it's one alcoholic sharing their ESH with others and TOGETHER we can have the gift of today, the promises that are shared in the book, the spiritual growth that I work for on a daily basis....
Thank you all on here who share my journey of sobriety with me on a daily basis....
Much love,
Stacey
Thank you all for sharing on this thread. What a great read. Many principles hit me the hardest...daily reprieve, HALT, and remembering that it is a one day at a time program...8 years, or 8 hours...we all just have today.
I find myself being most triggered by angry and lonely. The irony is that the way I drank, it only emphasized these two. I drank alone at home (didn't like drinking with people b/c I didn't want to be monitored..."you've had X amount already", so the drinking only made the lonliness worse. And angry...I'd usually drink to cope with anger I felt about a certain person, place or thing. Yet after walking up each morning with a hangover I would be extremely angry at myself. What a cyclic, cunning, baffling, insidious dis-ease we all share.
Even today I had the sudden thought of a beer but I then I reminded myself (I believe this will be an on-going process of reprogramming/reconditioning) that drinking will only make everything worse. And I sure don't want to wake up tomorrow angry at myself!
Thanks again for all the wisdom and experience shared on this thread.
I find myself being most triggered by angry and lonely. The irony is that the way I drank, it only emphasized these two. I drank alone at home (didn't like drinking with people b/c I didn't want to be monitored..."you've had X amount already", so the drinking only made the lonliness worse. And angry...I'd usually drink to cope with anger I felt about a certain person, place or thing. Yet after walking up each morning with a hangover I would be extremely angry at myself. What a cyclic, cunning, baffling, insidious dis-ease we all share.
Even today I had the sudden thought of a beer but I then I reminded myself (I believe this will be an on-going process of reprogramming/reconditioning) that drinking will only make everything worse. And I sure don't want to wake up tomorrow angry at myself!
Thanks again for all the wisdom and experience shared on this thread.
I really enjoyed reading all the posts - thanks everyone
Can I have another amen? AMEN!!
In case anyone freaks out I'm not trying to be all religious - that's a line from a song I really like.
Lacey - I said cool-aid so the americans would know what I was talking about - I was drinking cordial - which you will be familiar with I would think. In the USA they drink this stuff called cool-aid which is basically cordial except it comes in a powder form and not a liquid concentrate.
Anyway back on topic!! LOL
I too really struggled to understand what OSM's meant when they said they were no further away from a drink than me or any newcomer - I really couldn't get it through my head. In the same way it took me a long while to understand that saying ts the first drink does the damage.
anyhoo another busy day is over and I am still safe and sober - all thanks to my HP.
thanks for some wonderful contributions on this thread.
Stacey - I'm sure you'll make a great sponsor - its great you are in a position to help someone - don't lose sight of the fact that you can only carry the message and not the alcoholic.
take care
Idgie
Can I have another amen? AMEN!!
In case anyone freaks out I'm not trying to be all religious - that's a line from a song I really like.
Lacey - I said cool-aid so the americans would know what I was talking about - I was drinking cordial - which you will be familiar with I would think. In the USA they drink this stuff called cool-aid which is basically cordial except it comes in a powder form and not a liquid concentrate.
Anyway back on topic!! LOL
I too really struggled to understand what OSM's meant when they said they were no further away from a drink than me or any newcomer - I really couldn't get it through my head. In the same way it took me a long while to understand that saying ts the first drink does the damage.
anyhoo another busy day is over and I am still safe and sober - all thanks to my HP.
thanks for some wonderful contributions on this thread.
Stacey - I'm sure you'll make a great sponsor - its great you are in a position to help someone - don't lose sight of the fact that you can only carry the message and not the alcoholic.
take care
Idgie
Ummmm Idgie we spell it with a K over here. Kool- Aid. LOLOL...And it is yuuuuummmmmy! I drank loads of it when I got sober. Nothing but sugar with a splash of flavor. LOLOL... I eat Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwhiches with a glass of Kool-Aid. So do you have Vegemite Sandwhiches with Kool-Aid? Girl you know I am kidding right? LOLOLOL
As for the daily reprieve. How spot on is that?? Sometimes I can go a week or so without a craving or feel any resentment. Then wham....the cravings come flooding back like gangbusters. I know that I am never alone in this but it's nice to be able to hop on here to this on-line community and hear all of your ESH stories. Thank You All!
On a serious note: Good topic Idgie! :-)
As for the daily reprieve. How spot on is that?? Sometimes I can go a week or so without a craving or feel any resentment. Then wham....the cravings come flooding back like gangbusters. I know that I am never alone in this but it's nice to be able to hop on here to this on-line community and hear all of your ESH stories. Thank You All!
On a serious note: Good topic Idgie! :-)
Hi Idgie. Nice post and a good idea. I havent been replying to very many posts lately because I have been ill and was admitted to hospital for a couple of days. I am glad to know that you did not drink when you had the urge. It shows restraint and strength and I am proud of you for that. Keep up the good fight. take care God bless and be safe
Sorry to hear that Pirate. Hope you feel better soon xx
Hi Pirate
sorry to hear you have been sick - hope you are feeling better now.
Idgie
sorry to hear you have been sick - hope you are feeling better now.
Idgie
