Addictive Thinking And Relapse by Abraham J.Twerski
I'll just quote some bits and pieces-
"Because recovery is a growth process,relapse is an interruption of that growth.But relapse does not mean going back to square one.Yet almost without exception,that is what the relapser is likely to think.After two years or twelve years of recovery,a person who relapses may feel back at rock bottom.This conclusion is mistaken,however,and can negatively affect recovery from a relapse."
"The correct conclusion is that relapse does not have to wipe out the gains recovering addicts have made to that point."
The Difference Between Guilt and Shame
The guilty person says "I feel guilty for something I have done.
The shame filled person says,"I feel shame for what I am"
IMO.......The only mistake you can make in a relapse is to give up hope and not try again.
At this point in my recovery, if I relapsed, I would be devestated. I think I would probably just want to lay down and die. How do you start over after coming so far? I guess with that attitude, I better make sure I do whatever I'm suppose to do to stay clean and sober. AA/NA. I sure as hell wouldn't want to have to face that on my own.
Thank you Tim for sharing that, so many times in life the difference between
success and failure can be secondary to #1-all in the timing or, #2-all in the
wording--or occasionally both, meaning--the timing was right for the wording
to get through, such as the case today with your post, once again I thank you,
and have a great day.
People need People~~~~Tye.
success and failure can be secondary to #1-all in the timing or, #2-all in the
wording--or occasionally both, meaning--the timing was right for the wording
to get through, such as the case today with your post, once again I thank you,
and have a great day.
People need People~~~~Tye.
Lisa quotes-At this point in my recovery, if I relapsed, I would be devestated. I think I would probably just want to lay down and die. How do you start over after coming so far?
.......with a lot of humility.Lisa,I have a good friend who had 8 years of sobriety in AA.He sponsored people,was a very well known member at the Post Oak Club.One of his sponsorees commited suicide by walking in front of a car.Poor guy was devastated.He relapsed about two weeks later.
He was too proud to come back.I'm like getting really sad writing this.I loved the guy like a brother but I can't be around him and watch him kill himself.It destroys me.He has aged twenty years and can't even complete a sentence.he gets up in the morning and starts drinking wine.
He can't face anybody in that group.Its so sad but thats exactly what false pride is.
I still call him to check on him.
Yes.....you would get your butt back in there.Lets just hope you never have to find out.
.......with a lot of humility.Lisa,I have a good friend who had 8 years of sobriety in AA.He sponsored people,was a very well known member at the Post Oak Club.One of his sponsorees commited suicide by walking in front of a car.Poor guy was devastated.He relapsed about two weeks later.
He was too proud to come back.I'm like getting really sad writing this.I loved the guy like a brother but I can't be around him and watch him kill himself.It destroys me.He has aged twenty years and can't even complete a sentence.he gets up in the morning and starts drinking wine.
He can't face anybody in that group.Its so sad but thats exactly what false pride is.
I still call him to check on him.
Yes.....you would get your butt back in there.Lets just hope you never have to find out.
I'm so sorry Tim.
I don't know how I would act which is why I don't ever want to find out. I am just stubborn enough to not let that happen but at the same time, if it did, would I be too stubborn to admit what I had done and face it?
I'm really at peace with myself and resolved in my recovery right now, so I'm ok. I try not to think about it too much. It doesn't deserve the energy.
I hope that your friend comes back. It's so sad.
hug
I don't know how I would act which is why I don't ever want to find out. I am just stubborn enough to not let that happen but at the same time, if it did, would I be too stubborn to admit what I had done and face it?
I'm really at peace with myself and resolved in my recovery right now, so I'm ok. I try not to think about it too much. It doesn't deserve the energy.
I hope that your friend comes back. It's so sad.
hug
Went to a 7 O'clock meeting last night at about 7:45 a guy walked in and sat down in the very back. When there was a lull in the share's the chair talks directly to him saying I'm sorry man this is a 7:00 meeting tonight there is not a late meeting. The guy opens his mouth and my heart sunk to my feet through tears and fear I am sure he says "I just threw away 9 years last night" I am getting chills writing this. I felt for him so much. My only relapse was very early in my recovery but baffling none the less. I remember how shattered I was. I just wanted to hug him to death tell he felt better. He said he had gotten on the hotline and they had directed him while on his cell phone to get there. He says " just needed a meeting" Now that was just brave of him to come back. The chair started talking to him about not thinking of it that way. I agree he didn't throw it away he threw away only the day and was right back. I have continued to pray from him since I left the meeting that night. Poor guy. I agree relapse shmelapse. Just come back. You didn't disappoint anyone but yourself and we all have been there. Thanks for brining this up Tim what an experience that was. Keep that man in your prayers today his name was Bret and Alcoholic.
Love,
Jane
Love,
Jane
If it weren't for NA or AA, where would that man go? Who would be there for him?
Thank God for the program. So many lives are lost without it.
Thank God for the program. So many lives are lost without it.
AMEN.
Jane...
I will keep him in my prayers and your friend too, Tim...I was told the holidays are the worst time for alcoholics/addicts and I am seeing newcomers daily....
I know to well the feelings associated with relapse, I've been there and done that...I have watched a gal that really didn't like me or my story just walk back in the rooms last week, beat and miserable and I reached out to her again, this time she took my hand....It is never to late as long as we have a breathe left in us.....
xoxo
I will keep him in my prayers and your friend too, Tim...I was told the holidays are the worst time for alcoholics/addicts and I am seeing newcomers daily....
I know to well the feelings associated with relapse, I've been there and done that...I have watched a gal that really didn't like me or my story just walk back in the rooms last week, beat and miserable and I reached out to her again, this time she took my hand....It is never to late as long as we have a breathe left in us.....
xoxo
A very important point here...great post Tim. Relapse happens and it is awful...we beat ouselves up and want to give up...it just isn't black and white. Thanks for putting that out there...people need to know they are still welcome. Sharonn
Thank you for sharing that. I relapsed after four years of being clean and sober.......... it was tough. You talk about getting humble...... it is the most humbling thing i ever had to do to tell my home group I relapsed.........
They told me it was o.k. and gave me a hug and told me NO one can take that four years from you..... keep coming back which I continue today....... But, your first post I understand......... relapse is part of recovery for some of us........ Those that don't I hope you never do...... But, for those of us that do its good that these type of attitudes are in place for us to be able to come back and continue our recovery.......... Thanks for the post......
They told me it was o.k. and gave me a hug and told me NO one can take that four years from you..... keep coming back which I continue today....... But, your first post I understand......... relapse is part of recovery for some of us........ Those that don't I hope you never do...... But, for those of us that do its good that these type of attitudes are in place for us to be able to come back and continue our recovery.......... Thanks for the post......
Glad you're back SilentOne.
