I am such an idiot.. I have relapsed.I have to start all over again. This is day one and it is not that bad.. CANT WAIT FOR TOMORROW.
I did take a xanax.. I know I know.. That is wrong. It was prescribed to me.. My drug of choice is Lortab.
Is the high worth the wihdrawels?
Let me answer that question. I guess so at times cause I am such an idiot and keep going back
amdijo,
Relapse is part of this crummy disease. Don't beat yourself up. The wonderfull part about relapse is that you are aware of what you have done and you know you have stop.
You just had a "hick-up", in your recovery.
You have done an amazing thing by comming here and admitting your relapse. You are going to beat this!
Catherine
Relapse is part of this crummy disease. Don't beat yourself up. The wonderfull part about relapse is that you are aware of what you have done and you know you have stop.
You just had a "hick-up", in your recovery.
You have done an amazing thing by comming here and admitting your relapse. You are going to beat this!
Catherine
Welcome back!
This has been said time and time again...but quitting is the easy part. Staying quit is where the real work begins. One thing to stop eating pills, but quite another to get help with the whys!!
Everyone has a different reason for using..but the common denominator in addiction is healing spiritually. Find a good program and get yourself into recovery. There is a big difference between quitting and being in recovery.
With recovery you will explore the reasons why you used and be able to heal from the inside out. Have you tried therapy? What about NA or AA. That would be a great place to start. There you will find other addicts helping one another to get clean and remain that way...one day at a time!
You don't have to do this alone....help is out there..and a life without pills.
Sorry you are going through this again. Boy can I relate! I relapsed over and over until I found a Doctor that cared and was willing to help me if I helped myself!
Keep sharing.....that is where its starts...what do you want?
This has been said time and time again...but quitting is the easy part. Staying quit is where the real work begins. One thing to stop eating pills, but quite another to get help with the whys!!
Everyone has a different reason for using..but the common denominator in addiction is healing spiritually. Find a good program and get yourself into recovery. There is a big difference between quitting and being in recovery.
With recovery you will explore the reasons why you used and be able to heal from the inside out. Have you tried therapy? What about NA or AA. That would be a great place to start. There you will find other addicts helping one another to get clean and remain that way...one day at a time!
You don't have to do this alone....help is out there..and a life without pills.
Sorry you are going through this again. Boy can I relate! I relapsed over and over until I found a Doctor that cared and was willing to help me if I helped myself!
Keep sharing.....that is where its starts...what do you want?
Amdijo,
Congratulations on Day 1.
You're not an idiot for going back to the pills. You have a disease. You wouldn't call a cancer patient an idiot for having a relapse.
But we ARE responsible for doing what's necessary to keep our disease in "remission." A cancer patient is responsible for getting himself to chemo; a diabetic is responsible for taking insulin shots and watching what he eats. I keep myself clean by going to therapy, practicing meditation, and practicing yoga. Others here keep themselves clean by going to 12 step meetings.
What can you do differently this time?
You might visit the pages linked at the top of the screen: "Treatment Options" and "Holistic Approaches."
Good luck.
Gina
Congratulations on Day 1.
You're not an idiot for going back to the pills. You have a disease. You wouldn't call a cancer patient an idiot for having a relapse.
But we ARE responsible for doing what's necessary to keep our disease in "remission." A cancer patient is responsible for getting himself to chemo; a diabetic is responsible for taking insulin shots and watching what he eats. I keep myself clean by going to therapy, practicing meditation, and practicing yoga. Others here keep themselves clean by going to 12 step meetings.
What can you do differently this time?
You might visit the pages linked at the top of the screen: "Treatment Options" and "Holistic Approaches."
Good luck.
Gina
Gina,
Wow, no better words have ever been said.
"...But we ARE responsible for doing what's necessary to keep our disease in "remission." A cancer patient is responsible for getting himself to chemo; a diabetic is responsible for taking insulin shots and watching what he eats...."
You hit the nail on the head, well said!
Catherine
Wow, no better words have ever been said.
"...But we ARE responsible for doing what's necessary to keep our disease in "remission." A cancer patient is responsible for getting himself to chemo; a diabetic is responsible for taking insulin shots and watching what he eats...."
You hit the nail on the head, well said!
Catherine
Wow Gina..how'ld you get so smart?
| QUOTE |
| I did take a xanax.. I know I know.. That is wrong. It was prescribed to me.. My drug of choice is Lortab. |
It doesn't matter what your DOC was.It's the behavior that identifies an addict.
Reaching for a mind altering substance to change a feeling or sypmtom is the problem.It doesn't matter if was prescribed to you or you scored it on the street.A presciption doesn't validate drug abuse.
I agree with what everyone else is saying.Beating yourself up and taking on a lot of shame does not help at all.That's how the disease keeps you in a vicious cycle.
Learning new coping skills doesn't happen overnight but you and you alone are responsible for that.Simply stopping is not enough.A complete psychic,physical and spiritual change is the only guarantee you will stop reaching for a pill, be it Xanax,opiates or alcohol.
Thanks Catherine, Lisa, I have good teachers, and I believe in the disease model of addiction.
Amdijo, I wanted to add that a couple of my friends work recovery primarily through a spiritual connection with their God and church and that's certainly another option. I talk about therapy and meetings because I am more familiar with those but there are many avenues to recovery and you should give them all a try until you find the combination that works for you. The important thing is that you not try to do this alone. Emotional healing happens in the space between two (or more) people. That's not surprising since we didn't get emotionally damaged all on our own.
P.S. Catherine, Your avatar -- I used to have a cat who did that to toilet paper, until I balanced a papercup of water on the roll. LOL, He never did it again.
Amdijo, I wanted to add that a couple of my friends work recovery primarily through a spiritual connection with their God and church and that's certainly another option. I talk about therapy and meetings because I am more familiar with those but there are many avenues to recovery and you should give them all a try until you find the combination that works for you. The important thing is that you not try to do this alone. Emotional healing happens in the space between two (or more) people. That's not surprising since we didn't get emotionally damaged all on our own.
P.S. Catherine, Your avatar -- I used to have a cat who did that to toilet paper, until I balanced a papercup of water on the roll. LOL, He never did it again.
