Hi everyone:
Yes, it is true, I have relapsed and I feel like the biggest failure in the world today. While I have real pain that I have been prescribed more pills for, I know that I can't handle taking pain pills for true pain and not expect to totally relapse, like I feel I have.
I spoke to a close friend, who is recovering, and he says that he thinks I am not addicted like I think I am. That I just so afraid of becoming addicted, that I am hyperparanoid. I love him for his candor, however, I know what is happending to me.
Please send all your support and compassion. I could certainly use it right about now.
Love
T
Dear T, sorry to hear about this for you. I know how down you must feel. You're not a failure. You're just human and trying to deal with this lousy disease we all have. It could happen to any one of us. It must be extra hard dealing with pain issues too, I can't even imagine that.People who suffer from chronic pain seem like they got a double whammy in the unfair department. All you can do is try again and know that you are cared for. I wish I had the perfect words to make you feel better, since I don't, all I can do is offer you my compassion and best wishes. Much love, Kat
Hey T -
Dont feel bad - I know what you mean. You are in alot of pain. What are WE supposed to do? It friggen hurts. When someone tells you to take Motrin - like - yeah, right, buddy- we build up such a tolerance to the damn pain meds - its really hard. So hard to understand why these pills, even for people with REAL PAIN (not just wanting to get high) get addicted to them. I STILL cant figure this one out. These drugs that we think are OK because our DRS. prescribed them and ALOT of them to boot. We didnt go to the street corner and see if we could "hook up" with something. No, baby, we got the hook up right in our hands and go to the drug store and take it home - no problem. Only after days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months and then months turn into years... do we begin to realize -- Could IIIIII possibly be addicted to these pills??? NO WAY, NOT ME. Well, guess again. Sad but true. I couldnt believe that I was or am. Then- we are told to suffer the consequences - which even sucks more? Its like you cant win for losing.
I'm just waiting for the day (and praying it comes soon) that I can say,yes, I am CLEAN, PAIN FREE AND HAPPY - all at the SAME time.
I hope you're trying to have a good weekend anyway. I'll talk to you later. You hang in there hon, because YOU are doing really good, considering the situation - dont be so hard on yourself.
Love,
Marie
Dont feel bad - I know what you mean. You are in alot of pain. What are WE supposed to do? It friggen hurts. When someone tells you to take Motrin - like - yeah, right, buddy- we build up such a tolerance to the damn pain meds - its really hard. So hard to understand why these pills, even for people with REAL PAIN (not just wanting to get high) get addicted to them. I STILL cant figure this one out. These drugs that we think are OK because our DRS. prescribed them and ALOT of them to boot. We didnt go to the street corner and see if we could "hook up" with something. No, baby, we got the hook up right in our hands and go to the drug store and take it home - no problem. Only after days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months and then months turn into years... do we begin to realize -- Could IIIIII possibly be addicted to these pills??? NO WAY, NOT ME. Well, guess again. Sad but true. I couldnt believe that I was or am. Then- we are told to suffer the consequences - which even sucks more? Its like you cant win for losing.
I'm just waiting for the day (and praying it comes soon) that I can say,yes, I am CLEAN, PAIN FREE AND HAPPY - all at the SAME time.
I hope you're trying to have a good weekend anyway. I'll talk to you later. You hang in there hon, because YOU are doing really good, considering the situation - dont be so hard on yourself.
Love,
Marie
Wow guys, that seems like such a difficult situation. What could a person possibly do under such circumstances? I had pretty severe migraines, but that's a whole lot different than suffering from chronic, daily pain. It's a shame they can't come up with something to relieve pain that is non-addictive. With all the advances in technology, you would think they could figure something like that out. I can only imagine how much harder that would make it to fight this disease. Have you heard of neurontin? It helped me for awhile with my headaches, maybe that would help a little. I do see what an awful dilema this would be and offer my understanding. Much luck and God bless, Kat
I'm in chronic pain too..this really sucks...you get addicted, in addition to the pain..
what do you do, Danny? Have you found any solutions that help? I really feel for all you going through this. Much love, Kat
Don't beat yourself up. I relapsed too, AND ALL I WANTED IN THE WORLD WAS SOBRIETY... Someone told me that relapse is part of the process for some. For me, I am actually glad that I did because it taught me that the pills and beer just don't work the way they used to. They take me right back into incomprehensible demoralization.
I have real pain too and IT SUCKS. And when someone tells me to take advil, I want to punch them sometimes.
Just monitor yourself. If you get honest with yourself before you take them, then you might not abuse them. That is the best advice I have, but if someone told me that, I would probably punch them for that, too.
Hang in there trying. One of the little sayings that helped me was "PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION...." The game isn't over yet...
I have real pain too and IT SUCKS. And when someone tells me to take advil, I want to punch them sometimes.
Just monitor yourself. If you get honest with yourself before you take them, then you might not abuse them. That is the best advice I have, but if someone told me that, I would probably punch them for that, too.
Hang in there trying. One of the little sayings that helped me was "PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION...." The game isn't over yet...
Tryingtokickvic,
You gotta be real with yourself. If you even question the thought that your addicted to them, then you know you are. Being addicted to pain pills actually makes the pain worse. If you were to actually quit the pills you would find your pain is alot less over all. Ask alot of people here who are clean and they will tell you the samething.
Don't give up. Alot of people relapse. You gotta be very mentally strong to beat this addiction or it will win everytime.
My back is fractured, I have severe osterarthritis and compressed vertibrates in my neck. I know what pain is. I was in more pain when I was abusing OxyContin. Since Im clean now the pain is so much less and way more manageable.
Personally I have a hard time swallowing the story about how people blame injuries or doctors for their addictions. They should blame no one but themselves.
Good luck.
You gotta be real with yourself. If you even question the thought that your addicted to them, then you know you are. Being addicted to pain pills actually makes the pain worse. If you were to actually quit the pills you would find your pain is alot less over all. Ask alot of people here who are clean and they will tell you the samething.
Don't give up. Alot of people relapse. You gotta be very mentally strong to beat this addiction or it will win everytime.
My back is fractured, I have severe osterarthritis and compressed vertibrates in my neck. I know what pain is. I was in more pain when I was abusing OxyContin. Since Im clean now the pain is so much less and way more manageable.
Personally I have a hard time swallowing the story about how people blame injuries or doctors for their addictions. They should blame no one but themselves.
Good luck.
Thanks everyone:
I know that I am an addict. I don't deny that at all. I am not concerned at this point with the whys, hows, whens and whos. I just want to breat free of this horrible burden. I know I can do this. I know it can be done. It's the in between that is the true test. The day 1 to the day I can say, "hey, I woke up this morning and felt pretty good without opiates, and by the time I went to bed, I did not think of using once. That's where I want to be!
Please keep up the support and encouragement. Lord knows I need it.
T
I know that I am an addict. I don't deny that at all. I am not concerned at this point with the whys, hows, whens and whos. I just want to breat free of this horrible burden. I know I can do this. I know it can be done. It's the in between that is the true test. The day 1 to the day I can say, "hey, I woke up this morning and felt pretty good without opiates, and by the time I went to bed, I did not think of using once. That's where I want to be!
Please keep up the support and encouragement. Lord knows I need it.
T
