Relasped

Heroin
1
hey everyone, its been awhile since i've posted. hope everyone is doing well. i miss talking to you guys. anyways. once again this damn addition has gottent he better of me. i had 4 years clean up till a month ago. i now have 30 days today. its something, when everything is going good and i felt fine it just strikes out of nowhere. i got to the point where i jus didn't care. i couldn't even see the point of being clean. so i gave up. which was the worst i could do. i (we ) should never give up. and i see that. its hard and i was angry at myself for awhile. but i see now being mad doesn't get you anywhere. moving on does. so i picked myself back up brushed off and started walking down the harder road again. the harder road has many ups and downs, but the when you actually get to the top of some of the hard parts you feel so much better and stronger about yourself and your progress in both life and recovery. so here i am again working my way up the long steep road of recovery. i can say one thing my muscles and knowledge are getting really strong after many falls down. its like riding a bike falling down only lets you learn how to ride. i've learned recovery isn't easy, cause if it was i wouldn't be an addict and then i wouldn't be me, and i sorta like me.
so anyways i just wanted to stop in and let you all know how things are.

luv
raerae
2
Congratulations. Keep up the good work!
3
Rae Rae * * * *

4- months huh?? Yeah, that can be a little discouraging. Don't dwell on it- -move on

Hell I think I had 4 or more months clean about 3 times . (Before Mdone)- which plenty of people still don't think is clean.

You ll be OK- WELCOME HOME
jack
4
jack
thanks
i had 4yrs before i relasped
now i have 30days clean
5
wow this place is so slow. when i came here before it was always full of people. now noones around. i know people move on and some move backwards but goodness i thought there would be someone here to talk to.

raerae
6
The pain pill board is pretty active although the weekends can be slow. How are you doing today?
7
i;m good. how are you? we have never talked before. i'm an old timer here, i use to poat alot, but once i got clean i only checked in every couple months. so when i can back i thought someone would be around, i always post here and the pain pill board. anyways. hope you are well today. thanks for posting.


raerae
8
So glad to hear you're back on the right track! :)

Love,
Susan
9
I find your top post very profound. We fall, we get up, we move on having learned something. I kind of like me too. I've stubbed my toe on H or pills too many times to count. Seems like this damn Heroin takes like three times as long to get over as pills, though. But every day is better! Congrats to you! Clean is where it's at. T.
10
Dear Raerae,
don't come to this site much anymore but when i espy an oldie but goodie such as yourself i have to give a holler....recovery from both substance and the old son of a b abuse has been hard...the latter the most difficult
experienced a lot of deaths of close loved ones from this dreaded disease of addiction in the passing years of your absence from the board

I am sorry to hear you have relapsed but i am overjoyed to see that you are still with us and not quite ready to throw in the towel yet but fight the fight

you were missed love MARY
11
oh mary i'm so glad your still around. i always enjoyed talking to you. how have you been? things are okay for me. i now have a little more than 30 days and i'm trying to get it right. its something. i just hit 4 years clean this past spring, and it didn't last i now understand why. being clean is one thing, doing right is another. i was just staying clean just because. nothing changed in my self or in my new found recove3ry. getting by without the drugs was just that, getting by. but once things started getting rough i threw in the towle. but now i understand what i need to do and i have been trying and right now its working. so here i am and i am clean and sober.

anyways, i'm so glad to hear from you.

luv
raerae

12
Het Raerae, thanks for your post. Even though you are writing about a relapse your positiveness comes through. I'd be lying if i said i know how you feel, cause i don't. I do know what it is like to relapse though, so i can imagine what it must be like after 4 year...

You know what you have to do in the near future, you've been here before. You're already making progress....Well done on your 30 days, proud of you, i really am.

What happened? What did you stop (or start) doing differently? The thought of relapsing puts the sh*** in me, i don't think i have another one in me. Would you mind talking about it? Take care, Kev
13
I am the sister of a newly admitted heroin addict and I have to say, your first posting gives me hope for my sister. All the information that I have read about heroin over the last 3 weeks since finding out scares the crap out of me. I know that there are many success stories out there, but the ones that aren't are awful to read. I was starting to wonder if we even had a chance of seeing our sister come out of this. I can only hope and pray, that during her ups and downs....being clean and possibly relapsing more than once, she finds the strength and insight that you have.

I wish you much luck and congratulate you on your new found soberness!!!