I'm working on about 40hrs here, and im in one of those moods where I dont answer my phone for a couple days...I get like that sometimes. I blow off meeting with family or taking their calls, even don't answer my drinking friends. I fear I've put a gap between me and everyone else. It seems it gets worse when i try and get sober.'I will get super pissed when one of my family members will call me after not being able to reach me for a couple days: Are you alright?....Sometimes I just hang up on them. Treating me like an invalid only pisses me off, and so the more anyone tries to help, the more i want them to piss off...whether i keep drinking or not, I would like to change my approach to other people, because i can handle the self-abuse, i just dont want to chase away the only people that give a damn about me. Im hoping getting some sober time under my belt will clear away some of the fog, bring the old me out again...Anyone have a story like that?
Dodsworth
All I know is that for me the drive to drink felt like a defiance, an anger, a rage...I would obliterate the world...thinking out loud here about something I think Chris said about suicide a while back....a murder kills one person, suicide kills the world....I wanted to kill myself, that's why I drank....I didn't know it, but it was myself I hated enough to want obliterated....anger anger anger.....kill myself, kill the world, hurt someone, something, anyone....thank God, thank God I never did.
Take good care of yourself. This life is a precious, beautiful thing and once the fog clears your eyes will mist with tears of joy...you have your whole life ahead of you and I am so happy for you that you see what you see now.
Martin.
Take good care of yourself. This life is a precious, beautiful thing and once the fog clears your eyes will mist with tears of joy...you have your whole life ahead of you and I am so happy for you that you see what you see now.
Martin.
Adam I know what you are talking about. It just last week that I was in one of those terrible moods . I said to my husband I don't want to be like this but I can't seem to stop it so I know what you mean when you say you don't want to drive away the people who are there to help you. I have no idea why I get like that but it's like I need the time alone just to calm my spirit ,not my mind,not to relax my body but to be alone with me. I just need it sometimes and if I don't get it I go just about crazy. Maybe it is something as simple as needing time alone. I tell people now that I need time alone. I have more than enough going on in my head at times without having to deal with other people as well and I think that is probably the way you feel too. We have to get to know ourselves sober.Once I've had my time alone I can get back up and continue on.Hang in there Adam get over this bump and continue on as well. There are better and brighter days ahead,look forward to them and get up your courage and tell yourself that you deserve better than a drunken life and that you are going to have it whatever you have to do to get it. Adam try not to waste another moment thinking of booze.why waste the time you are sober ?I bet I know exactly the way you are feeling and the way you are thinking. You are a smart,courageous young man who has the opportunity at the present moment to do something worthwhile with your life don't waste your chance. Control your mind or it will control you. It is up to you because whatever resources you have to avail off nothing will work unless you are willing to let it work for you. YOU and ONLY YOU can make it work. God bless and take care. and Adam it's ok to have some alone time just don't turn into a recluse. ((((((( )))))))
Hey Adam just wondering how you are doing today. Hope you are still hanging in there and staying sober.You are so worth it.! You are not alone bud always remember that, and you have everyone supporting you here. ((( ))) Take care
Gidday Dodsworth
Fear of the unknown future and living sober kept me housebound at times and as usual this was all stuff amasing in my mind ...scenarios, he thinks, she thinks etc etc and i would get pissed off with people asking if i was ok because I THOUGHT that they were thinking i was drinking or accusing me of drinking depending on my mood, all of this passess as the days and meetings increase.
When i was thinking for others in early recovery i was thinking sick or negatively and that was when i had to start accepting and being grateful and positive...small steps and it it worked for a long journey
light and love Zac
Fear of the unknown future and living sober kept me housebound at times and as usual this was all stuff amasing in my mind ...scenarios, he thinks, she thinks etc etc and i would get pissed off with people asking if i was ok because I THOUGHT that they were thinking i was drinking or accusing me of drinking depending on my mood, all of this passess as the days and meetings increase.
When i was thinking for others in early recovery i was thinking sick or negatively and that was when i had to start accepting and being grateful and positive...small steps and it it worked for a long journey
light and love Zac
