i need some input my son who is 20 is addicted to heroin i have know this for some time he has over-dosed 2 times and been brought back by the paras. with in the last month he has recently been in a rehab.. for several day and then let go.. i helped place him there.. to clarify what i mean by helping to place him there... i was involved in getting him to counciling group both in patient and out patient group with the professionals that is social worker, drug councellors,and case workers..
every time when he was realsed thing always looked up/positive,the outlook was promising after several weeks /months it was back to the same old s***.
prior to that when he was a teen he was also in a rehab i helped place him there.... presently he is liveing here at home.. i`m speaking real- time .. alittle
more then a year ago he was incarcerated in a juvinile facility for approx. 6 months involved in car theft and drug use... when i found out about it i helped place there,,, and then he was released.. we took him in to help get him back on his feet..he quit h.s when he was 17 he got involved placed on probation and met met alll the legals things his probation officer required.... at 17.5 yrs he
as stated above he was incarcerated fo 6 mos and released...he came out
got his ged.. and got a job things looked ok for a time until a approx. 1 yr later he od..in his bedroom got hime to the hospital ..everything turned out ok..was stable/clean for approx..6,7 months and then back to the heroin...then we got him into inpatien/outpatient treatment family therpy all went well for a time he got himeself in to a oxford house.... then once again the day after thanksgiving he O.D. once more, this time it was at his sister appartment.. he recoverd there for the day and then his sister told him to leave went to the city Phila. visit her there again he got caught up in heroin ..... when he returned to the oxford house
that monday he was given a drug test,which he failed,,,which he then got kicked out...approx.. 2-3 weeks after that he was busted by the narcs. in phila for attempting to purchase/possession of heroin he got his hands salpped 1yr. probation, and court costs. i had somewhat of a same problem with my oldest daughter who is 22.. i had to have her arrested to try and save her life because of the things because if the things she was doing crack/heoin.....
but some how thru the grace of she has managed to get her act together she went in to a womens oxford house remained ther for a alittle more then a year got herslf a job,then promotions all the good things and now going to school
for her degree.as of today 3/11/2004 i found the drug pharapen,, and my soul droppped again.. in the recent past years i have been some what disable due to a accident ... went though bouts of depression, and just recently 6 mo.ago had a heart-attack..... bottm line i know my son is using ... he is now also on adult probation should i call his probation officer talk with him and give him this info
or should i just throw him out.. i am really tired both phycially and mentaly of this type of life i am trying to distance my-self from him but it is difficult
any input would be helpfull justafather.......
I would call him probation officer. There is only so much you can do to help him. Sounds cruel, but maybe some time in jail will get him to rethink his path in life.
I know he is your son, but you can't let his actions affect your health, when that happens, something needs to give.
Best of Luck!
I know he is your son, but you can't let his actions affect your health, when that happens, something needs to give.
Best of Luck!
Hello,
I agree with jen.....I think you should call his probation officer...TOUGH LOVE.
One thing I have learned dealing with my own addictions, is you will not get help unless you want it.......
Let him know that you are there for him, as you have been for many years, but it is time for him to seek help of others that are in the same situation as he.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers, please don't let this affect you health, I know it must be very difficult not to let it affect you. Pray and ask God for help, and ask you son to talk with God.......
GOOD LUCK to you and your son................
Shay
I agree with jen.....I think you should call his probation officer...TOUGH LOVE.
One thing I have learned dealing with my own addictions, is you will not get help unless you want it.......
Let him know that you are there for him, as you have been for many years, but it is time for him to seek help of others that are in the same situation as he.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers, please don't let this affect you health, I know it must be very difficult not to let it affect you. Pray and ask God for help, and ask you son to talk with God.......
GOOD LUCK to you and your son................
Shay
Hang in there. My cousin is addicted to heroin, he is off and on the whole time but tries SO hard. Hang in. We are so worried about him.
If you ever need to talk, my Email is down at the bottom of the message.
If you ever need to talk, my Email is down at the bottom of the message.
Dear Dad,
Addiction is a family disease. As long as one member of the family is an addict that member affects the rest of the family in many ways. Enabling the addict in the family is common. Your son needs to experience all the consequences of his use if he is ever to get well.
I speak from experience as an addict myself and a health care worker. Call the probation officer and also tell him to leave. You have to look after yourself. We addicts need to hit our own hard bottom before we can accept our illness and truely try to recover. Some of us just don't make it. That is the sad and bitter truth. Addiction is a progressive, chronic and potentially fatal disease.
It sounds like you have done all you could do and more. The only true way you can help your son now is to take care of yourself or you may become a casualty of this disease yourself through illness or total burn out. May I sugest that you look into Arnon or Alanon for some support. It is a hard thing to watch a loved one ravaged by our disease. Alanon could help you through some of the painful memories and painful times ahead.
I will remeber you and your son in my prayers tonight.
Please remeber that you deserve some happiness and a measure of peace too. june
Addiction is a family disease. As long as one member of the family is an addict that member affects the rest of the family in many ways. Enabling the addict in the family is common. Your son needs to experience all the consequences of his use if he is ever to get well.
I speak from experience as an addict myself and a health care worker. Call the probation officer and also tell him to leave. You have to look after yourself. We addicts need to hit our own hard bottom before we can accept our illness and truely try to recover. Some of us just don't make it. That is the sad and bitter truth. Addiction is a progressive, chronic and potentially fatal disease.
It sounds like you have done all you could do and more. The only true way you can help your son now is to take care of yourself or you may become a casualty of this disease yourself through illness or total burn out. May I sugest that you look into Arnon or Alanon for some support. It is a hard thing to watch a loved one ravaged by our disease. Alanon could help you through some of the painful memories and painful times ahead.
I will remeber you and your son in my prayers tonight.
Please remeber that you deserve some happiness and a measure of peace too. june
Justafather,
After reading that, I found that very sad. I agree with the others, about calling his probation officer. It'd be terrible to throw your son out on the street. He really needs your love and support. And if you kicked him out, he'd probably do the drugs even more. As much as your fed up with him, you need to be strong, and believe in him, and never give up on him. I'm sure he really does appreciate all of your help, deep down inside. I wish you the best of luck.
After reading that, I found that very sad. I agree with the others, about calling his probation officer. It'd be terrible to throw your son out on the street. He really needs your love and support. And if you kicked him out, he'd probably do the drugs even more. As much as your fed up with him, you need to be strong, and believe in him, and never give up on him. I'm sure he really does appreciate all of your help, deep down inside. I wish you the best of luck.
http://www.sundownrecoverycenter.com/image...omepagepic2.jpg
Dear Justa Father,'
Your story is poignant, because my 16 year old son is on probation and about to get off in 2 months. In the past 2 months, he has collapsed twice at home upon arising, trying to get some juice or food because his blood sugar was low. He is a diabetic and has been using substances throughout his time on probation. They are trying to avoid going back to court with him because he has failed, and yet he has made some accomplishments. He is doing better in school. He has 5 A's and went to a competition this weekend because of this table he made that was very good. He is also being recognized in a ceremony this week for outstanding achievment in business management class. He has made attempts to get serious with his lfe but drugs keep tempting him back. Your story makes me see it is now that I must get him into treatment more than what the probation department is offering. If I don't do it now, things get harder and harder to change. My comment is that as adults we dont have as much influence over our children, and we must put every stop in place before they become adults. All the while doing this, we have to find ways to praise our young adults ( I critizised for every mistake) . Yet stand firm in what we do and don't tolerate. Unfortunately,. many people even judges try to blame the parents for our kids problems. I just don't believe that is always the case. When they start doing that it just makes things worse, because it delays the treatment our kids need and deserve. At this point, you need to find a new way to relate to your son because so much has happened and it has not had a lasting impact. Are there positive things you can use to reach him and then get him to talk about the relapse. I wouldn't call the parole officer immediately, I would set a deadline, that he must have done something for himself by himself to enter treatment and that you'll be there to support. Then if no change occurs by that time I would follow through and call the PO. STand your ground. Make the conditions clear. One thing I have discovered is our children are listening to us more than they want to admit. They won't let you see it right away when you are influencing them for making better decisions, you eventually notice it. You must be credible though and follow up, with all agreed on terms. Even make a contract. Take action then if it is not enough. Best of Luck, Do not give up!
Dear Justa Father,'
Your story is poignant, because my 16 year old son is on probation and about to get off in 2 months. In the past 2 months, he has collapsed twice at home upon arising, trying to get some juice or food because his blood sugar was low. He is a diabetic and has been using substances throughout his time on probation. They are trying to avoid going back to court with him because he has failed, and yet he has made some accomplishments. He is doing better in school. He has 5 A's and went to a competition this weekend because of this table he made that was very good. He is also being recognized in a ceremony this week for outstanding achievment in business management class. He has made attempts to get serious with his lfe but drugs keep tempting him back. Your story makes me see it is now that I must get him into treatment more than what the probation department is offering. If I don't do it now, things get harder and harder to change. My comment is that as adults we dont have as much influence over our children, and we must put every stop in place before they become adults. All the while doing this, we have to find ways to praise our young adults ( I critizised for every mistake) . Yet stand firm in what we do and don't tolerate. Unfortunately,. many people even judges try to blame the parents for our kids problems. I just don't believe that is always the case. When they start doing that it just makes things worse, because it delays the treatment our kids need and deserve. At this point, you need to find a new way to relate to your son because so much has happened and it has not had a lasting impact. Are there positive things you can use to reach him and then get him to talk about the relapse. I wouldn't call the parole officer immediately, I would set a deadline, that he must have done something for himself by himself to enter treatment and that you'll be there to support. Then if no change occurs by that time I would follow through and call the PO. STand your ground. Make the conditions clear. One thing I have discovered is our children are listening to us more than they want to admit. They won't let you see it right away when you are influencing them for making better decisions, you eventually notice it. You must be credible though and follow up, with all agreed on terms. Even make a contract. Take action then if it is not enough. Best of Luck, Do not give up!