Just when I think I can do this...just when I am getting and feeling stronger.
I feel so many resentments. Is this just an excuse to say f*** it? I mean, I KNOW I can do it. I know what I need. I know I have it in me.
But I get so f***ing pissed that I have to work my a** off, listen to pathetic reasons why his work is harder than mine (yeah right). Yeah...his work is harder than mine. I make between 400-600 a week. He makes 150. He works so much f***ing harder than me right?
Anyways, I'm pissed that I didn't sign up for this when we got married. Sure, before we were married he had his stints with unemployment. But he always reasssured me...it will work out. It always does.
WELL IT'S NOT WORKING OUT!!!!!!! It's been about 2 years since the last time and IT"S NOT WORKING OUT!!!!!!!! I'm so f***ing behind on my bills it's not funny.
SUre, not buying beer or pills would help. Or his s***. But we would still be f***ed financially.
I'm tired of being the one to care. I'm tired of stressing on my own.
How the f*** can I expect myself to be clean and deal with this kind of s***?
Stress sucks. Maybe I should just let the electricity get shut off to prove a point to him.
I don't know.
I'm so tired of my life being so f***ed up. I'm so tired of being the only one that seems to care.
If I wanted it to be this way, I would be a single mom. Sometimes I think it would be cheaper and easier.
Atleast I would have my freedom.
This is so f***ed up. f***ed up beyond repair.
If I wanted it to be this way, I would be a single mom. Sometimes I think it would be cheaper and easier.
Atleast I would have my freedom.
This is so f***ed up. f***ed up beyond repair.
Hey Jodi, you know, all things considered, you'd think he would apreciate you a little more. It seems so irrational to give you a hard time over who's job is harder. What would it matter if his was harder? That knowledge certainly wouldn't lesson your burden.
You probably would have it a lot easier financially as a single Mom. He would have to pay child support, maybe not much because of his income but he'd still have to pay something. I think you'd be so much happier.
I know this might seem hard to imagine but stress is actually easier to deal with once we're sober. We just get so used to grabbing whatever bottle it is we chose to deal with any emotion that we have no idea that we could do it and more easily without.
If at this point in my life, I grabbed my doc whenever I got upset or stressed, I'd never get anything accomplished. Numbing isn't an option for me anymore and thankfully I'm able to move forward in my life.
You can too, Jodi.
xxxxxxxxxooooooooo
You probably would have it a lot easier financially as a single Mom. He would have to pay child support, maybe not much because of his income but he'd still have to pay something. I think you'd be so much happier.
I know this might seem hard to imagine but stress is actually easier to deal with once we're sober. We just get so used to grabbing whatever bottle it is we chose to deal with any emotion that we have no idea that we could do it and more easily without.
If at this point in my life, I grabbed my doc whenever I got upset or stressed, I'd never get anything accomplished. Numbing isn't an option for me anymore and thankfully I'm able to move forward in my life.
You can too, Jodi.
xxxxxxxxxooooooooo
Happy 4th of July Jodi.Don't kill anyone,especially yourself.In fact keep your butt in that chair tonight.
Some day you're going to hear things with a different set of ears.
Some day you're going to hear things with a different set of ears.
Awakening Now
Why wait for your awakening?
The moment your eyes are open,
seize the day. Would you hold
back when the Beloved beckons?
Would you deliver your litany
of sins like a child's collection
of sea shells, prized and labeled?
"No, I can't step across the
threshold," you say, eyes
downcast. "I'm not worthy"
I'm afraid, and my motives
aren't pure. I'm not perfect,
and surely I haven't practiced
nearly enough. My meditation
isn't deep, and my prayers are
sometimes insincere. I still chew
my fingernails, and the refrigerator
isn't clean." Do you value your
reasons for staying small more
than the light shining through
the open door? Forgive yourself.
Now is the only time you have
to be whole. Now is the sole
moment that exists to live in
the light of your true Self.
Perfection is not a prerequisite
for anything but pain. Please,
oh please, don't continue to
believe in your disbelief.
This is the day of your awakening.
~ Danna Faulds, from Go In and In
Jodi, I expect you do feel a lot of resentment towards your husband. I understand that. But in the end, nothing really compelled us to stay all those years. If you own the parts you're responsible for, then you can change. If it's ALL been his fault there's not a lot you can do about it.
Love,
Gina
Why wait for your awakening?
The moment your eyes are open,
seize the day. Would you hold
back when the Beloved beckons?
Would you deliver your litany
of sins like a child's collection
of sea shells, prized and labeled?
"No, I can't step across the
threshold," you say, eyes
downcast. "I'm not worthy"
I'm afraid, and my motives
aren't pure. I'm not perfect,
and surely I haven't practiced
nearly enough. My meditation
isn't deep, and my prayers are
sometimes insincere. I still chew
my fingernails, and the refrigerator
isn't clean." Do you value your
reasons for staying small more
than the light shining through
the open door? Forgive yourself.
Now is the only time you have
to be whole. Now is the sole
moment that exists to live in
the light of your true Self.
Perfection is not a prerequisite
for anything but pain. Please,
oh please, don't continue to
believe in your disbelief.
This is the day of your awakening.
~ Danna Faulds, from Go In and In
Jodi, I expect you do feel a lot of resentment towards your husband. I understand that. But in the end, nothing really compelled us to stay all those years. If you own the parts you're responsible for, then you can change. If it's ALL been his fault there's not a lot you can do about it.
Love,
Gina
Jodi,
I've said it before, so you know how I feel about your situation. I wish there was something more I could do for you, but its up to you.
Email me when you get a chance. I have something I want to talk with you about. Maybe it might shed some light on a few things for you.
mten10ace@yahoo.com
Michelle
I've said it before, so you know how I feel about your situation. I wish there was something more I could do for you, but its up to you.
Email me when you get a chance. I have something I want to talk with you about. Maybe it might shed some light on a few things for you.
mten10ace@yahoo.com
Michelle
You would be better off without him.
You could get help to cover his measely income. You are not only voluteering to be treated like crap, but you are supporting him while he bashes you.
You are paying to be treated like crap.
I did it, too. Somewhere along the line you end up buying into their crap and start believeing it. Then, you end up buying it. Literally.
Why not take your power back? There aren't enough excuses; you are raising abusers. Your boys are getting a first hand education in how to use and abuse a woman.
There are so many resources out there. Rehab should be your first stop, then a woman's shelter.
Life could be so much better. But you just have to make the right choice. Nobody can do it but you. I know this may not be what you want to hear, but eventually you will get sick of the sound of your own whining and do something.
You could get help to cover his measely income. You are not only voluteering to be treated like crap, but you are supporting him while he bashes you.
You are paying to be treated like crap.
I did it, too. Somewhere along the line you end up buying into their crap and start believeing it. Then, you end up buying it. Literally.
Why not take your power back? There aren't enough excuses; you are raising abusers. Your boys are getting a first hand education in how to use and abuse a woman.
There are so many resources out there. Rehab should be your first stop, then a woman's shelter.
Life could be so much better. But you just have to make the right choice. Nobody can do it but you. I know this may not be what you want to hear, but eventually you will get sick of the sound of your own whining and do something.
Jodi,my sympathies are with you.It's a viscious cycle.Youve got so many things going on,besides the alcohol,husband,etc...im sure it must seem impossible when you think of fixing it all at once.
And you would be right,it IS impossible to fix it all at once.The easiest approach is to start with the things YOU have CONTROL over.The rest will straighten themselves out,believe me,for better or worse.
YOU are whats important here.You,your sanilty and your quality of life.I KNOW you dont want to continue to live this way.But youre so afraid and unsure what to do next.Jodi,you say you wish someone would just come and fix it all for you,as we all wished,and you know thats not possible but...there are loads of people,places,that ARE available to HELP you help yourself right in your own neighborhood.
Going and asking for help,as weve suggested many times,is an awfully hard thing to do,but until you do,im afraid you will remain unhappy and in truth,wasteing a life that has soooooooooooo much promise.
You can have any kind of life you wish,just reach for it Jodi.It took me a long long time to realise this,but i did,and i believe you will too,you still havent given up fully and i believe in you,we ALL do!
Please,take care of you,forget all the other BS,dont let that dictate your every movement.You are worth so much more than this dear.~KIM
And you would be right,it IS impossible to fix it all at once.The easiest approach is to start with the things YOU have CONTROL over.The rest will straighten themselves out,believe me,for better or worse.
YOU are whats important here.You,your sanilty and your quality of life.I KNOW you dont want to continue to live this way.But youre so afraid and unsure what to do next.Jodi,you say you wish someone would just come and fix it all for you,as we all wished,and you know thats not possible but...there are loads of people,places,that ARE available to HELP you help yourself right in your own neighborhood.
Going and asking for help,as weve suggested many times,is an awfully hard thing to do,but until you do,im afraid you will remain unhappy and in truth,wasteing a life that has soooooooooooo much promise.
You can have any kind of life you wish,just reach for it Jodi.It took me a long long time to realise this,but i did,and i believe you will too,you still havent given up fully and i believe in you,we ALL do!
Please,take care of you,forget all the other BS,dont let that dictate your every movement.You are worth so much more than this dear.~KIM
What an awesome piece of writing you share here, Gina, from Danna Faulds. Thank you so much, for you have given my spirit a new author to explore.
This kind of reminds me of a piece, which I will post below that I thought for years was written by Virginia Swift. Bob B. corrected me in that it was authored by a lady name Sunny Carroll, who is very active in 12 step recovery.
I could so relate what you wrote, Kerri, about some day we will get sick and tired of hearing our own whining, as this has certainly applied to me. However, I do give great thanks to the friends who have stood by and allowed to do so with such an incredible amount of unconditional love.
Jodi, you keep coming back and sharing this leg of your journey with us. This tells me that there is a reason why you do so. I want you to know that I have and will continue to listen and keep you close in my prayers that you are enabled with the courage to change whatever it is you need to change, in order to live life happy, joyous, and free.
Hugs all around,
Sammy
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Awakening - by Sunny Carroll
A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity
you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere
the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet
lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and
waiting for something to change or for happiness,
safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming
and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world
there aren't always fairy tale endings
(or beginnings for that matter)
and that any guarantee of "happily ever after"
must begin with you and in the process
a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not
everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who
or what you are . . . and that's OK.
(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)
And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself
and in the process a sense of newfound confidence
is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things
they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn
that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean
or mean what they say and that not everyone will always
be there for you and that it's not always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself
and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of
self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept
people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and
human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and
contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world
around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have
been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all
the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you
should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear
and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where
you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should
marry and what you should expect of a marriage, or what you owe
your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you
really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and
needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown,
or should never have bought into to begin with and in
the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there
is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop
maneuvering through life merely as "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are
not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that
holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to
save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance
of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love.
How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and
when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your
feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more
beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because
of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as
you would have them be. You stop trying to control people,
situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and
change so it is with love . . . and you learn that you don't have the
right to demand love on your terms . . . just to make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely . . .
You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that
you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying
to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over
how you "stack up".
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that
feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK . . . and that it's your
right to want things and to ask for the things that you want . . .
And that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated
with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't
settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who
cherishes you to glorify you with his/her touch . . . and in the
process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water
and taking more time to exercise.
You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and
can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.
So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve . . . and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working
for and that wishing for something to happen is different
from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success
you need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone and
that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the
great robber baron of all time . . . FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears because
you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in
to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander
it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get
what you think you deserve and that sometimes-bad
things happen to unsuspecting, good people.
On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or
failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and
resentment must be understood and redirected
or they will suffocate the life out of you
and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong
and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many
of the simple things we take for granted,
things that millions of people upon the earth
can only dream about: a full refrigerator,
clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself
by yourself and you make yourself a promise
to never betray yourself and to never ever to settle
for less than your heart's desire.
You hang a wind chime outside your window
so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting,
and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side
you take a stand, you take a deep breathand you begin to design
the life you want to live as best as you can.
This kind of reminds me of a piece, which I will post below that I thought for years was written by Virginia Swift. Bob B. corrected me in that it was authored by a lady name Sunny Carroll, who is very active in 12 step recovery.
I could so relate what you wrote, Kerri, about some day we will get sick and tired of hearing our own whining, as this has certainly applied to me. However, I do give great thanks to the friends who have stood by and allowed to do so with such an incredible amount of unconditional love.
Jodi, you keep coming back and sharing this leg of your journey with us. This tells me that there is a reason why you do so. I want you to know that I have and will continue to listen and keep you close in my prayers that you are enabled with the courage to change whatever it is you need to change, in order to live life happy, joyous, and free.
Hugs all around,
Sammy
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Awakening - by Sunny Carroll
A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity
you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere
the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet
lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and
waiting for something to change or for happiness,
safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming
and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world
there aren't always fairy tale endings
(or beginnings for that matter)
and that any guarantee of "happily ever after"
must begin with you and in the process
a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not
everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who
or what you are . . . and that's OK.
(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)
And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself
and in the process a sense of newfound confidence
is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things
they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn
that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean
or mean what they say and that not everyone will always
be there for you and that it's not always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself
and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of
self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept
people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and
human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and
contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world
around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have
been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all
the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you
should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear
and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where
you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should
marry and what you should expect of a marriage, or what you owe
your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you
really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and
needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown,
or should never have bought into to begin with and in
the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there
is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop
maneuvering through life merely as "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are
not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that
holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to
save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance
of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love.
How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and
when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your
feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more
beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because
of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as
you would have them be. You stop trying to control people,
situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and
change so it is with love . . . and you learn that you don't have the
right to demand love on your terms . . . just to make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely . . .
You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that
you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying
to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over
how you "stack up".
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that
feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK . . . and that it's your
right to want things and to ask for the things that you want . . .
And that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated
with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't
settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who
cherishes you to glorify you with his/her touch . . . and in the
process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water
and taking more time to exercise.
You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and
can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.
So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve . . . and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working
for and that wishing for something to happen is different
from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success
you need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone and
that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the
great robber baron of all time . . . FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears because
you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in
to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander
it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get
what you think you deserve and that sometimes-bad
things happen to unsuspecting, good people.
On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or
failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and
resentment must be understood and redirected
or they will suffocate the life out of you
and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong
and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many
of the simple things we take for granted,
things that millions of people upon the earth
can only dream about: a full refrigerator,
clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself
by yourself and you make yourself a promise
to never betray yourself and to never ever to settle
for less than your heart's desire.
You hang a wind chime outside your window
so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting,
and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side
you take a stand, you take a deep breathand you begin to design
the life you want to live as best as you can.
Sammy,ive read many of your awe inspiring posts.To me...this is the best ive ever read.
I am copying it and sending it to a very much loved sister who i hope will read it with an open mind and heart.
Thanks so much for posting it.It so eloquently put into words the sort of transformation i myself went through.The Title"The Awakening" is exactly how it feels,like waking after a long long sleep! Every word of it is full of truth,and love.Thank you for always knowing the right things to post,you are extremely good at it.
Jodi,i hope you got as much out of this as i did.
~KIM
I am copying it and sending it to a very much loved sister who i hope will read it with an open mind and heart.
Thanks so much for posting it.It so eloquently put into words the sort of transformation i myself went through.The Title"The Awakening" is exactly how it feels,like waking after a long long sleep! Every word of it is full of truth,and love.Thank you for always knowing the right things to post,you are extremely good at it.
Jodi,i hope you got as much out of this as i did.

Thanks for posting that, Sammy.
Jodi, it can change. These jerks don't get better. Trust me. But you can.
Jodi, it can change. These jerks don't get better. Trust me. But you can.
Jodi darlin...same sh*it, different day, huh? Come on kiddo, at what point do we say, enough is enough? I think you've had enough. Send him packing, get on with your sobriety. You allow him to hold you back, you allow him to make choices for you, that's on you. Do something about it. If you can't kick him out (which you can you know), then ignore his BS and get on with your life. You know where that meeting is. Love you girl.
Life is just so very painful right now. I know I'm not unique.
I just don't know how much more I can take or I don't know where to start to make it better.
I'm sorry for whining.
I'm lost.
Very very lost. And I know my bottom will be happening soon.
If it hasn't already.
I don't even know if I f***ing care anymore.
I just don't know how much more I can take or I don't know where to start to make it better.
I'm sorry for whining.
I'm lost.
Very very lost. And I know my bottom will be happening soon.
If it hasn't already.
I don't even know if I f***ing care anymore.
Hey Jodi,
all of us have told you what we think you should or could do. Why don't you help us to help you? Maybe you could think about it for awhile and come up with some sort of steps that you could begin on your journey out of this nightmare you're living in. If you could come up with an idea or ideas, then we'd be able to support and encourage you.
What is one (even if it's small) step you could take towards sobriety and a happier life?
xxxxxoooooo
ps. Don't give up, just surrender.
(still believing in you)
all of us have told you what we think you should or could do. Why don't you help us to help you? Maybe you could think about it for awhile and come up with some sort of steps that you could begin on your journey out of this nightmare you're living in. If you could come up with an idea or ideas, then we'd be able to support and encourage you.
What is one (even if it's small) step you could take towards sobriety and a happier life?
xxxxxoooooo
ps. Don't give up, just surrender.
(still believing in you)
Jodi, what are you waiting for?
Jodi,its very obvious you still care.And you DO know what you need to do.Its just a matter of doing it.Forget about the hubby,get someone to look after the kids for a few days,and go get help for YOURSELF.
Nothings going to change Jodi,NOTHING...unless you make a move.Do you really want to go on like this,i mean think about it,the rest of your life is a long long time(hopefully)with beautiful grandchildren in the future.Do you want to be living and feeling like this 10 years from now?I really dont think you do.The longer you wait,the longer this way of life will continue and you will continue to be miserable.
Just forget about all the reasons you CANT,and just DO IT.Be it rehab,Detox,you need to reach out,let someone give you a helping hand,send you in the right direction.Right now you say you dont know what to do.People in these places KNOW exactly what you need to do,and they will lead you down the right path.
It kills me to see you like this night after night after night.Yet...youre still reaching out,still looking for answers,which to me,means youre still willing to give it a good fight,you havent given up.Make that move Jodi,now...before its too late.
Like Kat said..im still believeing in you too!~KIM
Nothings going to change Jodi,NOTHING...unless you make a move.Do you really want to go on like this,i mean think about it,the rest of your life is a long long time(hopefully)with beautiful grandchildren in the future.Do you want to be living and feeling like this 10 years from now?I really dont think you do.The longer you wait,the longer this way of life will continue and you will continue to be miserable.
Just forget about all the reasons you CANT,and just DO IT.Be it rehab,Detox,you need to reach out,let someone give you a helping hand,send you in the right direction.Right now you say you dont know what to do.People in these places KNOW exactly what you need to do,and they will lead you down the right path.
It kills me to see you like this night after night after night.Yet...youre still reaching out,still looking for answers,which to me,means youre still willing to give it a good fight,you havent given up.Make that move Jodi,now...before its too late.
Like Kat said..im still believeing in you too!~KIM
Jodi, what you are about to do isn't easy, but it IS EASIER THAN LIVING LIKE YOU ARE NOW.
I was there. And I whined. I hope that I didn't hurt you; but really, none of us can do anything for you......
You have to do it. You have to make the moves.
I say find a rehab. Or suboxone. You can't drink on sub.
Then, when you have some time, kick him out. Your chances of staying or even getting clean and sober with a user is so slim.
There are tons of people in the rooms of AA that will help you out each day.
Life can be better. So much better! You just have to trust us on this one.
I was there. And I whined. I hope that I didn't hurt you; but really, none of us can do anything for you......
You have to do it. You have to make the moves.
I say find a rehab. Or suboxone. You can't drink on sub.
Then, when you have some time, kick him out. Your chances of staying or even getting clean and sober with a user is so slim.
There are tons of people in the rooms of AA that will help you out each day.
Life can be better. So much better! You just have to trust us on this one.
Jodi,what are you afraid of?Are you afraid that things are going to change?Becasue...of course they will...and 100% for the better.
Once you do this and get some time under your belt(and i do believe you will do this)you will look back and say why did i wait so long,why didtn i do something so much sooner!
Its only becasue youre right in the middle of it that you cant see this,but take my word for it,once you start making the right moves to gain back your life,the way you want it to be,you will see,its much more easy than youre imagining it to be.
Not to downplay how youre feeling,i know it is scary,but...it can be exciting too.Just think of starting over,a new life,a new you,a much happiuer more confident you.Its all there just waiting for you to make it happen.Jodi...make it happen!~KIM
Once you do this and get some time under your belt(and i do believe you will do this)you will look back and say why did i wait so long,why didtn i do something so much sooner!
Its only becasue youre right in the middle of it that you cant see this,but take my word for it,once you start making the right moves to gain back your life,the way you want it to be,you will see,its much more easy than youre imagining it to be.
Not to downplay how youre feeling,i know it is scary,but...it can be exciting too.Just think of starting over,a new life,a new you,a much happiuer more confident you.Its all there just waiting for you to make it happen.Jodi...make it happen!~KIM
I left after my second child was born and it was the best decision I ever made My kids are 17 and 18 now and they both have a good relationship with him because I did not speak bad about him to them and they are gratefull that I did that I didnt want them to grow up stressed out and when he drinks especially he is very mean I could take it but no way I was gonna subject them to that
Checking on you today Jodi...every morning is another chance to do it right.
Why not today?
xxxooo Lisa
Why not today?
xxxooo Lisa