Everyone,
I could use some input on resentments and how to get rid of them. When I first sobered up, I don't think that resentments were a big deal for me. Now that I am starting over all over again, it seems to be an issue. I know there is a portion of the big book that deals with resentments but I do not know where it is that I read it. Advice from someone who has had to deal with them more in depth thatn myself would be greatly appericiated.
LL
I have only just finally snapped out of all the resentments I had been habouring because poor old me has had such a difficult time. It is humanity, God and everything else that is the problem. Well, that is what I was feeling. Wallowing in actually.
The other day I realised - with the help of the latest homoeopathic remedy that I am on - that I am playing the complete victim act. Everything is seen in a negative way, and all held onto to prolong the misery and resentment and prevent progress from happening.
I realised it is my attitude that stinks, not so and so, or the government, or the price of things, or God for making it this way. It is down to me to change my attitude to life, to stop living in the darkness of fear, negativity, anger and resentment, and to simply change the way I look at life into positivety, love, light. It all lies with me. I am not a victim, only in my thinking which is creating my life.
Hope that helps.
The other day I realised - with the help of the latest homoeopathic remedy that I am on - that I am playing the complete victim act. Everything is seen in a negative way, and all held onto to prolong the misery and resentment and prevent progress from happening.
I realised it is my attitude that stinks, not so and so, or the government, or the price of things, or God for making it this way. It is down to me to change my attitude to life, to stop living in the darkness of fear, negativity, anger and resentment, and to simply change the way I look at life into positivety, love, light. It all lies with me. I am not a victim, only in my thinking which is creating my life.
Hope that helps.
I think chapters 3 and 4 deal with resentment. (along with a lot of other stuff).
Hi LL...
You can also read the pg. 417 (4th edition) or pg. 449 in the earlier editions...Acceptance is the key...
I also journal when I am dealing with a resentment...I write it all out on paper, my feelings and then I pray to my HP, whom I call God, to take the resentments from me...I am trying to forgive and when I forgive others, it makes me a much healthier person....
I am told resentments are the #1 offender to an alcoholic so I try to free myself, sometimes daily, from harboring resentments......
Take care,
Stacey
You can also read the pg. 417 (4th edition) or pg. 449 in the earlier editions...Acceptance is the key...
I also journal when I am dealing with a resentment...I write it all out on paper, my feelings and then I pray to my HP, whom I call God, to take the resentments from me...I am trying to forgive and when I forgive others, it makes me a much healthier person....
I am told resentments are the #1 offender to an alcoholic so I try to free myself, sometimes daily, from harboring resentments......
Take care,
Stacey
R E S E N T S O M E B O D Y
The moment you start to resent a person you become their slave.
They control your dreams, absorb your digestion,
rob you of peace of mind and good will,
and take away the pleasure of your work.
They ruin your spirituality and nullify your prayers.
You cannot take a vacation without them going along!
They destroy your freedom of mind and hound you wherever you go.
There is no way to escape the person you resent.
They are with you when you are awake.
They invade your privacy when you sleep.
They are close beside you when you eat,
when you drive your car, and when you are on the job.
You can never have efficiency or happiness.
They influence even the tone of your voice.
They require you to take medicine for indigestion,
headaches and loss of energy.
They even steal your last moment of consciousness
before you go to sleep.
So if you want to be a slave, harbor your resentments.
I remember hearing somewhere, somtime that resentments were the #1 offender. I should know as I've been harboring a big one to my husband of 23yrs. And a few others as well. Please don't take this completely out of context as I do Love MY Husband & most of the others. If anything I've been making him & others whom I love, really miserable for 10 yrs.+. I'm sure they all have resentments towards me. God knows I deserve some of it. What Bob wrote is TRUE. Along with the low self esteem, depression, fear,etc. It spells out resentments loud & clear. Some of us didn't have the best childhood. How do I let go? I feel like I've forgiven much, but havn't forgotton enough. I hope Bob you have this published. You are a talented writer. I wished your poem could reach the world as it would have a tremendous & postive impact. I'm so thankful this site exists. As it is a relection of the common bond we all have with alcohol. People can reach out & help one another. Just reading & listening to these threads is soothing to my soul. Thanks for all of you, Chris Ps. I learned a new word on this posting site its thread. Two days sober feeling crappy, yet more positive in my attitude
I didn't have very many resentments or so I thought when I got sober over three years ago...but boy is resentment rearing its ugly head right now....I appreciae everyone's posts....it is very emotional and painful to work through them with my Sponsor and applying the Steps and Traditions of AA to deal with them. But, I know it works....it's been working for "countless others" for a very long time, I just need to cross over this bridge.....thank God for the "design for living" I get from the Program.
I have some huge resentments against myself and what I have done in the past. From 10 years ago to last week. What can I do about that?
I have battle with resentment on and off over the years and for me it is a luxory I cannot afford. The best thing I have done over the years is that every day I prayed to my higher power to be relieved of the mercyless power the resentment has over me and that the person or situation gets the best of wishes. When I first came into the program I had a king sized resentment towards my sister in law. If you had stuck the both of us in the same room we would have killed each other. Needless to say I got sober while she remained in her active alcoholism. Through prayer I was able to release the resentment and move on. Eventually I was able to 12th step her into the program and even though she didn't stay and still drinks today, we have a very strong relationship today. She accepts the fact that I don't drink and I accept the fact that she does. I mind my own business. We have become the strongest allies within the family so who would have thought. There have been a few resentments over the years particularly towards my brother who had subjected me to a lot of violence. Only in the past week the old feelings began to re-emerge in which I found myself handing the whole issue over to god. Prayer is really the great diffuser and it removes that obsessive thinking. god bless
fi
xxx
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You are doing it LL, you will know a "new freedom and a new happiness ~ also, I know sometimes this stuff from AA sounds trite, but remember the Promises will come true "if we work for them"...........hang in there, it will get better!
I think my head is already getting better. Keeping my mind involved in not drinking and trying to keep in mind my pastors main advise: "Be Jesus to others as Jesus is to you." Hit home, also sermon topic for sunday.
LL
LL
I have a few resentments brewing right now. Ususally, when I am in conflict with more than one person, I know it is me that needs to change and look at my part...(big sigh).
~Rachel
~Rachel
Resentments......boy I have lots, and I am slowing beginning to release them, I just let go and let god.... I pray for a peaceful mind and a peaceful soul and I am learning not to sweat the small stuff....
LD
LD
