Very curious about this topic, please take my poll. I hope it made sense, the poll only allows a few words and I had to seriously cut it down. Read below if it didn't make sense, this is what I was trying to say:
1...Some people automatically trust and respect most people they meet, unless the person gives me a reason not to.
2...Some people do not trust most people until they have earned it.
3...Some people respect automatically, but do not trust until it has been earned
4...Some people trust automatically, but respect must be earned with them.
5...Or, something else....
How do you feel?
I generally trust people until they prove themselves untrustworthy, and I always respect people until they disrespect me or act disrespectfully, so my vote is for choice #1.
# 1 is me too...and I have been badly burned before...
That depends. Do you mean in general or do you mean people we meet that are just coming into recovery?
Me too Janet, but more often than not, I don't get burned.
Well the recovery topic sparked my interest, but I added other just in case it applied.
Edited to add: My opinion is the same for general or recovery, with the exception of my gut feelings, which also apply to everyone and both situations. I get a bad feeling from time to time. I could have chosen "other" but felt #1 applied more.
Edited to add: My opinion is the same for general or recovery, with the exception of my gut feelings, which also apply to everyone and both situations. I get a bad feeling from time to time. I could have chosen "other" but felt #1 applied more.
#4
Ok, then it's other. In the real world I respect people as they respect me. Trust still has to be earned. In AA, both need to be earned. There is the general respect due to every human being but I remain guarded until I see how the person acts.
Edit to add: I think this might have more to do with age and experience than recovery. When I was younger I trusted everyone and got burnt often. Maybe I just have trust issues?
Edit to add: I think this might have more to do with age and experience than recovery. When I was younger I trusted everyone and got burnt often. Maybe I just have trust issues?
i voted "other", atlas.
respect is one of the greatest expressions of love and i cherish the opportunity of treating myself and others with appreciation and high regard.
even as i have been created in my HP's image-likeness, so i appreciate the fact that everyone else is my HP's handiwork, as well. the best way to respect myself is to love others even as my HP loves me. in this way, i am acknowledging everyone as the God of my understanding's life in expression, and i am connecting and attuning myself to the web of God's life. i can't tell you enough the gratitude i feel for my heart connection with all of God's creation.
thanks for letting me share.
namaste'
sammy
respect is one of the greatest expressions of love and i cherish the opportunity of treating myself and others with appreciation and high regard.
even as i have been created in my HP's image-likeness, so i appreciate the fact that everyone else is my HP's handiwork, as well. the best way to respect myself is to love others even as my HP loves me. in this way, i am acknowledging everyone as the God of my understanding's life in expression, and i am connecting and attuning myself to the web of God's life. i can't tell you enough the gratitude i feel for my heart connection with all of God's creation.
thanks for letting me share.
namaste'
sammy
iam with sammy..........
This is very interesting to me. Thanks for all the replies.
I trust.
I trust that everyone has the ability to be their highest self....not everyone is there yet! Me included! I trust others to be themselves. I trust them to work out their own karma. I trust...in an odd way.
I respect authenticity. I respect all people, regardless of what it is they do...yes that includes ALL people, if they are authentically what they present to the world.
I am kinda strange, I realize...you have to earn my respect through action...My trust you have, and is only changed through action. Does this make any sense???
Peace...Atlas, interesting.
Sarah
I trust that everyone has the ability to be their highest self....not everyone is there yet! Me included! I trust others to be themselves. I trust them to work out their own karma. I trust...in an odd way.
I respect authenticity. I respect all people, regardless of what it is they do...yes that includes ALL people, if they are authentically what they present to the world.
I am kinda strange, I realize...you have to earn my respect through action...My trust you have, and is only changed through action. Does this make any sense???
Peace...Atlas, interesting.
Sarah
#3 gets my vote Atlas...
I just couldnt figure out which one said that..lol so i picked "other" ..sorry...
I treat people with respect right off the bat...offer the elderly or moms with babies etc..my chair if there are none...hold doors open for others, dont use the handicapped parking no matter how late im running...automatically turn my head if the person ahead of me is punching in their PIN...( like something else the other way just happen to catch my attention..lol) use please and thank you's to any service providers...that sort of thing...being generally RESPECTFUL...
Its more being RESPECTFUL of others, rather then RESPECTING them. The later must be earned...
I CANT really RESPECT someone i dont know well as i have no idea of their values, of their nature, of how they treat their parents and little animals when they think no one is watching....I CAN however BE RESPECTFUL to them as fellow human beings..
so again for me, having respect and acting respectful are two completely different things...
True respect FOR another ,as in trust--- must be earned...
For me, once that trust has been broken, there is trust no more...a shield comes down between us and the relationship i knew up till then ceases to exists. I truly dont feel that trust can ever ever be truly given again once its been broken.
I can WANT to trust, MAYBE even try to forgive and try to trust, but it would be pretty futile- as for me, trust is virginal, and once taken, can never be replaced...
Yup --Trust is the tough one for me Atlas...feelings of actual respect can change, grow, and peeter out, Someone you look up to and respect when you are 18, may not be the same person you look up to and respect when your 40, or 50 etc..not the same for trust however...
Having respect for one another as fellow human inhabitants of our earth, respecting their rights....their right to be here as much as you...their right to peace, happiness, love and freedom....that kind of respect comes easily..
Respect - Disrespect,
Trust - Distrust...
Simple words with a whole lot of meaning between the them..
Great Poll Atlas..
Hugs
Ali
PS In the future can you give us the pensive ones earlier in the day...my brain cells are not their best at night..lol and i will be sitting up hours in bed thinking about your topic....lol grr....
I just couldnt figure out which one said that..lol so i picked "other" ..sorry...
I treat people with respect right off the bat...offer the elderly or moms with babies etc..my chair if there are none...hold doors open for others, dont use the handicapped parking no matter how late im running...automatically turn my head if the person ahead of me is punching in their PIN...( like something else the other way just happen to catch my attention..lol) use please and thank you's to any service providers...that sort of thing...being generally RESPECTFUL...
Its more being RESPECTFUL of others, rather then RESPECTING them. The later must be earned...
I CANT really RESPECT someone i dont know well as i have no idea of their values, of their nature, of how they treat their parents and little animals when they think no one is watching....I CAN however BE RESPECTFUL to them as fellow human beings..
so again for me, having respect and acting respectful are two completely different things...
True respect FOR another ,as in trust--- must be earned...
For me, once that trust has been broken, there is trust no more...a shield comes down between us and the relationship i knew up till then ceases to exists. I truly dont feel that trust can ever ever be truly given again once its been broken.
I can WANT to trust, MAYBE even try to forgive and try to trust, but it would be pretty futile- as for me, trust is virginal, and once taken, can never be replaced...
Yup --Trust is the tough one for me Atlas...feelings of actual respect can change, grow, and peeter out, Someone you look up to and respect when you are 18, may not be the same person you look up to and respect when your 40, or 50 etc..not the same for trust however...
Having respect for one another as fellow human inhabitants of our earth, respecting their rights....their right to be here as much as you...their right to peace, happiness, love and freedom....that kind of respect comes easily..
Respect - Disrespect,
Trust - Distrust...
Simple words with a whole lot of meaning between the them..
Great Poll Atlas..
Hugs
Ali
PS In the future can you give us the pensive ones earlier in the day...my brain cells are not their best at night..lol and i will be sitting up hours in bed thinking about your topic....lol grr....
Trust must be earned Even By Myself that is what I'm doing now earning my trust of myself back. I will treat everyone good unless given a reason to do otherwise. I thought that was a good poll nice work.
\ TotalEclipse /
\ TotalEclipse /
I think this is a great poll. I have been burned before, but I think that there is good in everyone.
I also go on my gut feeling; but for the most part, I am too trustworthy. My close friend tells me all the time not to be so naieve, but I guess I think all people will think and act the way I do.
I also go on my gut feeling; but for the most part, I am too trustworthy. My close friend tells me all the time not to be so naieve, but I guess I think all people will think and act the way I do.
Interesting Poll.....
I respect always, can't see a reason not to, unless...but even with that unless I always treat people with respect. It makes sense somehow in my head. although I can't really explain.
Trust a whole different issue to me. I trust me, and make sure I listen to what my heart says.....And go by that alot, because at times I trusted and my head/heart were scream the opposite, and did I learn....
Love,
Tina
I respect always, can't see a reason not to, unless...but even with that unless I always treat people with respect. It makes sense somehow in my head. although I can't really explain.
Trust a whole different issue to me. I trust me, and make sure I listen to what my heart says.....And go by that alot, because at times I trusted and my head/heart were scream the opposite, and did I learn....
Love,
Tina
For me Trust must be earned. My counselor told me that I probably have trust issues and I know I do. I never realized it until I talked about it with my counselor. She said that because of things that happened to me when I was a child I have a hard time trusting people and that they have to earn my trust.
I feel that I have a general respect for someone until they do something for me to not respect them though.
I feel that I have a general respect for someone until they do something for me to not respect them though.
Great Poll Atlas.
Respect is something every individual deserves. I respect everyone and there opinions whether it be here, or in any aspect of my life.
Trust...........I believe is earned. Number 4 for me....
Interesting to read all the responses on this one.
Respect is something every individual deserves. I respect everyone and there opinions whether it be here, or in any aspect of my life.
Trust...........I believe is earned. Number 4 for me....
Interesting to read all the responses on this one.
Ali must have had a few brain cells firing last night because there is a difference between being respectful and having respect. But, my little brain has given enough thought to this subject already, I'll have to save that for another time.
I love all the responses. I'm sure there are dozens of factors that weigh in on people's decisions. Age, life experiences both positive and negative, the way we were raised, etc, etc,etc.......
I love all the responses. I'm sure there are dozens of factors that weigh in on people's decisions. Age, life experiences both positive and negative, the way we were raised, etc, etc,etc.......
I wish I was young again and respect and trust was something I immediately could just give away but even if my feelings are different than others, they are my feelings and to thine ownself be true....I am respectful of everyone of God's children and I trust and respect my HP, whom I call God to lead me in the right direction and have the utmost faith that I am okay today and my feelings are okay...
Maybe should of done a poll on what respect and trust mean to you as for me, I believe everyone might have a different perception of these written words...
Interesting poll...
Maybe should of done a poll on what respect and trust mean to you as for me, I believe everyone might have a different perception of these written words...
Interesting poll...
